I meant to post this coment acouple days ago, but was having computer proplems, so her goes. I knew something was wrong, but until people started mentioning how I, to put it bluntly, "screwed up", I couldn't figure it out. Now I know what I need to change, and I hope my "Quick Fix" does the trick. The next chapter will
1) restore Mal to his rightful, Captainy place.
2) De-acion figure the characters.
and 3) Hopefully be something that wouldn't make Joss Whedon violently ill if he knew about.

Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your point of view, I will be leaving town in about a week to go to a National Archery Competition, so I probably won't be able to write/post my next chapter by then.

But I swear by my loud hawiian shirt and the Biology final I have to study for, I will fix some of the major problems.

I think the biggest issue that I can comment on is the fact that you're trying to basically shoehorn a character into the BDH line-up during a period in time where his presence really doesn't fit. If this series was post-BDM, Mal hiring on someone like Steve (with a few modifications to make him seem less Marty Stu than he is now) would seem reasonable. Then you can have him slowly integrate with the crew and have his SpecOps skills slowly come to the fore utnil the big reveal several chapters in.

Also...I partially agree with jetflair. While Wash as a Browncoat SpecOps trooper is a bit too much, I can still see room where you can play with everyone's assumptions about Wash without going too crazy. Have him be a fighter pilot of some repute or something simliar, if you wanna give Wash a bit more...oomph...than it seems he has;)

BEB

Here's my issue with the story. It seems to take a series and characters we know, and try to change them into something different.

Firefly was unique because of the lack of one-dimensional, unrealistic action heroes, and you've made it your priority to not only make one up, but to have him pretty much replace Mal.

I'm afraid I simply don't buy special-forces Wash. It's completely out of character, and tries to make an action figure out of him as well.

There have been some excellent stories which challenge our assumptions about character backgrounds, but they have to ring true and they have to be carefully thought out.

Firefly is not a story of special forces fighters and perfectly strong characters. It's about flawed, mostly average human beings who have the heart to do some special things. It's about people who try to avoid trouble (although they do seem to find it!) and stay alive.