I love the levels of communication that go on in here because I never know what to expect.

Has- You suffer from low self-esteem? Hell, the lady asked you out. Most of us guys have to do the asking, so that's a pretty big compliment right there. (Now if I found the lady attractive... who-hooo! I'd be higher than the freakin' Mars rover, my ego would be so damned self-inflated!) 8)

And I think it's good that you're being honest about what is and is not working in a relationship. That's the only way things get better and you need to start someplace , right?

About the writing, don't worry about being careful. This is a blog. This is about you . If you keep editing what you say because you're afraid of how other people will react, then it's not really you writing, it's someone else's idea of who you should be.

For me, I just try to avoid being intentionally insensitive. If someone responds negatively to something I write, I either learn from it and do better, or ignore it because, in that case, it's not about me, it's about them. I can't solve everyone's problems by changing me. Besides I always approach this as if I'm really writing this for an older version of myself. That way I can see where I was and who I was. I also have to be more honest because if I write a bunch of bullcrap to myself, I'll know it.

btw- I'm learning that there's a third group regarding phallic discussions. This group nods or smiles politely but doesn't volunteer information. If asked, you can always say that you don't discuss that outside an intimate relationship. (If people have a problem with you not responding, remember, it's about them, not you. You don't owe them any piece of you that you don't want to give.) I've gotten to this point only recently in my own life and feel happier living within my own boundries.

You're right. It IS about balance, and from an outside perspective, you're doing fine. Whatever else anybody else says, let me pass on a few words of wisdom:

"F--k 'em."

(I always laugh when I say that last bit because it always makes me seem to feel better.)

Hmmm, well in my experience neither men or women have the power if you get either to be honest with themselves. The most attractive people can sometimes have the lowest self esteem simply because no one has the guts to try their luck w/ them.

That said, didn't take your last blog out of context myself....I think at some point everyone has that relationship where seems things don't seem to click because you're too different....even though supposedly opposites attract. Good for you for thinking it through early instead of being like most and figuring that the physical is enough....

And your description of two types of men fits women just as well......except our groupings go into more numbers based on waist and breast size!

Ack! Sorry if my response to your last blog was too quick-tempered, but you should by all means post what you feel. That's what this is for. And I apologize if that made you feel awkward about posting what you want.

As for women having power, I'll give my feelings. Perhaps, *some* women have the power. IMHO, they are the beautiful, the shapely, the thin, the ones that turn a man's head by simply walking by. They don't necessarily need the smarts or the intelligence, but they use what they have to get by, and more often than not it's because they're beautiful and they know it, and they also know men notice this too.

I fall into the low self-esteem category myself. And I say this about certain women because as a woman, I have experienced it. I've never felt pretty enough, nor well-dressed enough, nor have I ever turned heads. Ever. I don't fit into the traditional "feminine" role that I feel attracts men. From your last blog, you may have read that I like many things men do. And from that, I don't feel "girly" enough. In my mind, women are supposed to be a certain way in order to attract men. Feminine. Beautiful. Thin. And y'know what? That ain't me. It has never been, and thus I don't have the courage or self-esteem to even be social.

Believe me, it's not just you who feel insecure. Most feel the same way. As for penises...not all women think size matters. If I had someone I got along with, that I could make laugh, that laughed with me, that loved me for who I am (TV and movie geek and Firefly lover and warts and all) it wouldn't make a bit of difference to me.

I'm Irish, so I don't even discuss what's going on in the whole 'penis' region of my body. Hell. . why do you think we all have such short tempers and drink alot?