ANOTHERSKY'S BLOG

AnotherSky

I Hate My Bunk...But it's the only place I can go
Tuesday, April 28, 2009

EDIT: Language has been cleaned up. Should be safe.

This is a roommate rant. You are warned. It may contain language not suitable for minors. I don't swear in real life but it helped blow off steam. I'd like to scream it in their faces. It's quite complicated.

It's on here because I can't take it any more, the little mind games, and being the exhibitionist that I am, I want to get it out somewhere where maybe someone will see it. That thought comforts me.

That said, I know my pain is replicated a thousand times over in apartments all over the world, it isn't a big deal. I don't care.

How I feel: "It's getting very crowded in here."
-----------------------------------------------

I should have known when my "no" wasn't enough. When utter refusal meant they'd just keep pleading and whining until my entire family was forced to give in from a combination of public opinion and exhaustion.

I should have known when our conceptions of rudeness not only didn't match but wouldn't even compromise (on their end).

I should have known when I had to arbitrate an insane 3-day screaming match for the good of the whole. They're only united against me. It's creepy to watch the fake smiling. You wonder if they know they're fake.

I should have known when insects ellicted hysterics. At two in the morning.

I should have known when the drama started. The drama they pretend isn't drama. To them, it's normal--culture clash I guess.

I should have known when they started labeling the chores, every little thing like they were saints.

I should have known when I could never communicate with them, their phones never on, not even their ridiculous little absurd notes. It looks like a note factory in here. And I don't like never knowing where they are or when they'll be home. When they never call back. Ever. Or their relatives calling me wanting to know.

I should have known when they started talking about me in a language I don't understand.

I should have known when they were one thing to my face and another behind my back. That they kept the conflict in enough to needle me about stupid jerky things. Secretly. Cowards. Manipulative garbage rats.

I should have known when I realized that image is all that matters to them, not truth. Same with blame--who gives a care if the problem gets solved, it's WHO DID IT that's the real problem. Since there's three of us, that's ME.

I should have known when they kept me up at night and acted like I was the crazy one for being angry.

I should have known when they blamed me keeping them up for their grades.

I should have known when I repeatedly tutored one of them, free of charge and she treated me like a slave. I stopped.

I should have known when they started talking to me like a small child.

I should have known when I started doing all the work.

I should have known when they treated my (freely shared) stuff like garbage. And like it was theirs. Or rather, not theirs. i.e. like garbage.

I should have known when they ignored everything I said or asked. Even when it would have saved them pain.

I should have know when they acted like they had to walk on eggshells around me. !??

I should have known when they did life or rental-threatening things out of pure stupidity.

I should have known when they refused to take responsibility for anything.

I should have known when they were always waiting for me to open my door so they could "ask" ever so politely about something...

I should have known when they started acting like I was dirty.

I should have known when they signed another lease without even mentioning it to me.

I should have known when the entirety of these things continue to get worse, including tonight's incident which I cannot discuss. But one of them is convinced I lied about something disgusting, because in her mind there's no way any of her suppositions are wrong because it's just my word against the other one's. She can go to hell for all I care anymore. Funny part is I'm the one not of her religion. So either way I can't feel any guilt.

We tried "friends". We tried "neutral". Or rather I did, they didn't. Furthermore they have insulted me in almost ever way possible, made me so furious I was sick, hurt my stuff and manipulated me. I still need to ride out a few more months.

In short, they are the two evil stepsisters I never had.

Three is always a bad number.

I think I'm a better (sort of) person for it, but I still wish for an airlock. Or a very favorite gun. Heck, I'd settle for anything. Because this, this right here, is absolutely nothing.

COMMENTS

Sunday, May 3, 2009 6:40 PM

ANOTHERSKY


Good thing I'm not Mal then, because I ain't got no firefly for one a them speedy getaways. And you'd have found me easy enough. Whatever. :D

Sunday, May 3, 2009 12:58 PM

ALIASSE


Browncoat humor? - oh yes. Because I'm absolutely sure that Mal would handle it REALLY badly. In a good way.

Sunday, May 3, 2009 12:20 PM

ANOTHERSKY


Thinking like Mal has actually helped quite a bit in my interaction with them. :) Putting on a mental browncoat is not only entertaining, but helps me to distance from the situation.

Sunday, May 3, 2009 12:18 PM

ANOTHERSKY


bytemite: yeah. until everything good they do is an example of how their culture is better than yours...then I feel free to ascribe the bad things to it too. I appreciate lots of cultures...just not "jerk".

dun: ha ha, I like that. I'll stay in my own head, thanks. You take care too.

aliasse: browncoat humor, no?

Sunday, May 3, 2009 9:10 AM

ALIASSE


I got to this by clicking on you from some of the same discussion threads we've been on lately. Now. Stop. Take a deep breath. And ask yourself 'what would Mal do?'

And don't tell me where you live, because if I hear of a double fatality in that area I'll be right suspicious.

Saturday, May 2, 2009 9:49 AM

DUN


You mind yourself and stay in your own head and not be doing their thinking for them.Hope it gets better for you real soon.take care.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009 3:42 AM

BYTEMITE


Ouch.

Generally, it's not the culture, it's the people. Most cultures would look down on this kind of crap, but that doesn't stop some people from being manipulative, vindictive, and backstabbing over every little thing.


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