MASTERJACKRYERSON'S BLOG

MasterJackRyerson

Potential Fanfic?
Saturday, June 13, 2009

I don't know, I was bored and felt the need to write! Anyway, I just started going, and it's really short, cause I got writer's block like crazy, but I don't know if I'll take it anywhere. I want opinions, I guess. (Though I doubt anyone will see this.) Eh, oh well.

Anywho, here it is. No title, no plot, no nothing. Takes place after BDM, Wash and Shep are still dead.

“Ain’t no ruttin’ way I’m steppin’ on that rock.” Jayne glared at Mal. Mal looked at him, angry.

“I don’t care what you say. We gotta. We do the job, an’ this is part of it.”

“My muscular buttocks we gotta. I don’t give a 咒 what you say. I mean it, Mal. I ain’t goin’. Take Zoe.” Jayne was now standing, face to face with Mal.

“You givin’ me orders on my boat?”

“If you wanna see it in that light, yeah.” The two men looked at each other for a long time. Everyone else was silent, looking down.

“Zoe, get ready to go.” Immediately, the first mate jumped up and left the room. Mal turned his attention back to Jayne. “You ever pull somethin’ like this again, I will shoot you.” With that, the captain turned and left to the cargo hold, silently fuming.

Soon, the crew was down in the hold, doing their last minute preparations. Mal and Zoe each took a hold of a sack, full of the goods.

“Alright. Jayne, open it.” He watched as Jayne pressed the button to open the air lock door. Once it was open, Ariel, in all her beautiful emptiness appeared.

The once bustling planet was not so anymore due to the crew’s signal of truth from Miranda. Sure, the video was only put up on 30 worlds, and about 50 moons, but it spread. Like a plague, it infected every screen in the ‘verse. It spread by every means; by folk and by itself. The little crew of Serenity knew it would have an impact, but nothing like this. Immediately, the outer planets, and even groups of people in the Core, started rioting. They banded together. And the Alliance was completely thrown for a loop. They never expected it. Central planets became less active, way less. People only went out when they had to. Whole businesses closed altogether. Meanwhile, the one’s on the rim were busier then ever. Needless to say, it was starting to look a whole lot like another war was coming. Fast. And what has the crew who caused it all been doing? What they’ve always done: kept flying. The jobs now had a more ‘war-effort’ feel to them, but, they were still jobs. Though they could walk around on Ariel nearly as easy as they could on any outer-rim moon, they were still cautious.

Mal and Zoe took in the view for a moment before continuing on.

“I don’t like this, sir.” Zoe commented, observing the barren streets.

“Jus’ keep walkin’. We’re nearly there.” And, sure enough, after a few more minutes, they reached their destination.

Oh, and the little Chinese character emans 'damn'... I think.

COMMENTS

Monday, June 15, 2009 2:11 AM

ZZETTA13


Neat little fic there MJR

I do have a few questions and observations……first, is it that the fear of the PAX virus caused people to flee indoors, has the virus spread to the vast corners of the universe or has the though of war brought on by the spread of the virus caused people to react the way that you’ve described?

Secondly I’m getting that the broadcast of the Miranda wave has become tragic and an unbelievable abomination brought on by no others than the crew of Serenity itself?

Kinda gives me the feeling of the Roswell incident back on “Earth That Was” back in 1946, or was it 47 (smile)? You know, let something infectious spread and it may change human society forever….and not for the good!

Z

Sunday, June 14, 2009 11:29 AM

ANOTHERSKY


Those little scenes like that happen to me too...no larger context, no nothing. They just start talking sometimes and won't shut up.

Best of luck to you! Once you figure out the "destination" of the vague last line you might have an idea of where they're going.
Never have description of a place unless something (an event, emotion or realization) happens there...the alleys they're walking through are begging for something, or have them hit their destination with only a cursory glance at the alleys.

Sunday, June 14, 2009 5:28 AM

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT


Hey, I get blocked too, have been for quite a while.

OK, we've seen part of what happened to Ariel. How bad is it? And here's an inspiring question: What was the crew's motivation for making the trip there in the first place? And a free plot hook: Mal and Zoe go off, something happens, Jayne has to go ( help) rescue them. How does he respond? What does whatever happens to him change him?

Saturday, June 13, 2009 7:16 PM

VALERIEBEAN


I think that scene would be funnier if Mal pulled his gun and shot Jayne in the foot. Nothing too serious, but enough so he could turn around and say "Jayne ain't feeling to well. Zoe get ready to go."

I don't know. The scene is too reminiscent of the War Stories opening, and I think that would give it a humorous twist. Also, it will give you a nice scene with Simon and Jayne in the Infirmary and something for Kaylee to fuss over.

I guess what you're looking for is a kick-ass kind of job or something. Let's take a look at Arial (and I'm free-writing, so hopefully this comment doesn't get eaten)... You said it got quiet and everyone is going out less, but what if everything has simply moved inside and underground. They're going to be meeting with someone who is a mover and shaker in that world, probably pushing arms dealings. They may have to weave through different gang territories.

Do you need more?


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