HA! Okay, that's pretty funny. Although as someone of primarily Scottish descent, I do feel compelled to point out that when played correctly (and it is almost never played correctly) the bagpipe is a very beautiful instrument lol.

And that's one thing, but from what I understand, Scientology requires members to pay in order to ascend and learn new "secrets" about the aliens they worship. Screams "cult" to me.

Hmm. Some Christian sects allow you to pay money to the church for various writs of forgiveness or repentance. Buying a stairway to heaven.

But my sympathies for the loud. Reminds me of a joke I heard once...

So this scottish guy is meeting his friend who recently moved to America. He asks him how he likes it here.

His friend looks troubled and says "well, I like it all right, the weather's fine and my job pays well, but my neighbors are a little odd. The guy to my left I hear him constantly saying "Why god why," the guy above me screams, the guy to me right bangs his head against the wall, and the guy below me is always pounding on the ceiling."

His friend felt very sympathic for his plight, offered some words of comfort. Well that's too bad!" he says, "How do you cope with that?"

And the first Scottish guy shrugs and says, "Well, it doesn't bother me too much. I just stay up all night playing the bagpipes."