PLEASE read the warning in chapter 1 of this story.

I do appreciate constructive criticism so if you have some, by all means, leave a review and let me know what you did or did not like, or even if there is something that you would like to see happen.

There are really only two stories left so the end is in sight!

----------------- Chapter 3

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Simon didn’t need to wander aimlessly around the ship this time. He knew right where he was going as he stalked down the crew bunk hallway and pressed the mechanism to open the door to his sister’s bunk. Without announcing himself, he climbed quickly down the ladder. Somehow, he knew she would be waiting for him. He wasn’t surprised to see the light already on and River sitting cross-legged on her bed.

Simon struggled to keep his voice calm, steady, even though he was angrier than he had ever been in his life. If he noticed her tear-streaked face, he gave no indication. “You knew.” It wasn’t a question.

River didn’t even try to deny it. She simply nodded.

Even though he knew she would answer in the affirmative, he was still angrier than he could put into words by her admission. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“Couldn’t have stopped it.”

What was left of Simon’s temper finally snapped at that seemingly uncaring response. He needed to lash out. He needed to hurt something. “You didn’t give me a chance!”

“Couldn’t –“

“Zao gao, River! Stop!” Simon clenched his fists so tight they began to hurt. “Tell me the real reason!”

River shook her head, tears still sliding down her cheeks.

Simon felt no need to comfort his sister.

She knew he wouldn’t.

“Why?” Simon’s whole body trembled with rage. Tears stung his eyes as he regarded his sister with barely contained contempt. He took a step forward, intent on shaking the answer out of her.

Suddenly, River stood on her bed and screeched at him. “Because if you knew, it would have happened anyway and it would have been much, much worse!”

The sight of River standing on her bed, screaming down at him instantly deflated his temper. His entire body slumped in defeat as he said simply, “It can’t be any worse.” Simon turned without looking at her and walked away.

“You would be dead,” River said with a sob as her brother climbed up the ladder without so much as a backward glance. If he’d heard her, he gave no indication.

~*~

Mal stormed onto the bridge and hit the com unit for Jayne and Zoe’s bunks. With a sharp, snappy tone neither crew member had ever heard, he summoned them to the bridge, immediately.

Zoe was the first to make it out of her bunk, armed and ready for a conflict. Her life in the military had trained her well.

She was instantly on edge upon seeing the look on his face. “Sir?”

“Waiting on Jayne,” Mal said simply.

Zoe nodded slowly, her body tense as she noticed his set jaw and clenched fists.

“What’s goin’ on?” Jayne stumbled onto the bridge, grumbling. The shouting in River’s bunk had woken him instantly, and he was annoyed at having been called away from his eavesdropping.

“We’re changin’ course.”

“Sir?”

Jayne squinted at Mal. “What?”

“I am going to string Badger up on a spit until he gives me the location of Adeli Niska. I want him to set up a job. Now. And if he refuses,” Mal glanced at Jayne, who had an excited grin on his face at the prospect of more weasel torture. “You’ll have to get in line, Jayne. That man is livin’ on borrowed time.”

Zoe exhaled slowly. “What happened, Sir?”

Mal didn’t answer her question. “I’m tellin’ you because you can come or stay, it’s your choice. No doubt this could be the last job we ever do.”

“Pass up a chance to send that liumang to his grave? It’s about bloody time.”

“I’m in,” was all Zoe said, sensing there was more to Mal’s vehement anger than he was letting on. She, also, was not going to pass up the chance to kill the man who had tortured her husband.

“Start contactin’ everyone we know. Ain’t gonna leave it all to Badger. He’d just as soon backstab us than help us. I want Niska found and I want a plan to get to him.” Mal strode off the bridge leaving Zoe and Jayne staring after him wordlessly.

“Do I want to know?” Jayne asked dumbly.

“Probably not.” Zoe answered around the lump in her throat.

~*~

Kaylee refused to leave the shuttle. She didn't necessarily feel any safer here, but she lacked the energy, the desire, to move. Everything was a dark and violent blur. But her memories of that day, they were the only thing she could see with any clarity and as they continued to play through her mind. She felt herself grow more and more numb, the rawness of the moment and the realization fading until she felt nothing. She felt alone, even though Inara was by her side constantly and Simon - she was rendered nearly breathless when she thought about him. Along with her memory of the attack, the shocked look on his face and the hurt in his eyes were burned into her memory. She’d been so angry with him and it wasn’t his fault. Now she was only angry with herself. For letting this happen, for not fighting back harder.

Her chest heaved with sobs that no longer brought tears. Only the painful memories of what could have been. Everything they had planned for their baby. All of their excitement about bringing a new life into the 'verse. Kaylee had wanted the baby to look like Simon and he had insisted it would look like her. It would never happen now. The baby wasn't his. She was certain of it. And that knowledge caused more pain and heartache than remembering the rape never could.

Inara had thankfully suggested an avenue of escape, kind of, but Kaylee could think of nothing else, she could not agree with her friend or tell her that even though she wanted to die, she didn't want to leave her husband. She loved him with all of what was left of her broken heart. She just desperately wanted to turn back the clock to all those months ago and cling to a false past. One that showed her that she had never have gotten up to open the cargo bay door, never left Simon's warm embrace, never been manhandled and violated by those men. But there was no use in wishing - her life was changed forever and the thought of that only served to force Kaylee into a deeper state of shock.

She could hear voices now, in the background, but her body was so exhausted, her mind so numb, all she could do was stare vacantly at the wall.

Inara refused to leave Kaylee’s side when the men returned, deciding that now, rather than later, she needed to tell them what had been decided.

Mal and Simon stood staring at Inara, their mouth’s agape as she informed them of the decision that had been made without their knowledge. Simon’s eyes darted toward his wife, but her back was to him, and he couldn’t see an expression on her face.

“You ain’t leavin’ this ship.”

Inara knew she would get some resistance, but she expected it to come from Simon before Mal. “Kaylee needs some specialized counseling and she cannot receive it here. We need to go.”

“So you’re just going to take my pregnant wife off this ship without even asking me?” Simon had cooled down considerably but after spending a few minutes in the shuttle, his temper flared again.

“You don’t own, Kaylee, Simon. She needs this.” Inara’s eyes pleaded with him to understand. She knew he was hurt, but she also knew he wasn’t blind. He had to know she needed help.

Simon’s eyes shifted toward Kaylee who was protectively cradling her stomach. He took a few steps forward, feeling completely helpless, and reached out to his wife. “I can help. Let me help. Please.”

Inara raised trembling hands. “Simon, I know you want to help. You can’t right now. There’s nothing –“

“Nothing I can do?” Simon’s hands shook as he shot a withering glare toward Inara. “Yes, you’ve made it quite clear tonight that I’m incapable of protecting anyone in my life.”

Kaylee’s shoulders began to shake and Inara flinched as she remembered the hurtful words she’d slung at him earlier. He didn’t deserve her rage. But she and Kaylee hadn’t deserved what had happened to them either. Inara couldn’t help Simon. Not right now. She only had enough strength to help herself and Kaylee. She turned pleading eyes on Mal, hoping he would understand. He didn’t.

“You ain’t leavin’ here with my kid.”

Simon flinched as if he’d been shot, Kaylee’s revelation that he was not the father of their baby shooting like a searing knife straight into his heart.

“We need some time, Mal. Please,” Inara pleaded, her own eyes filling again with tears.

“Fine. Let them go!” Simon turned to Mal, finally at his wits end. There may be nothing he could do for his wife, but there was something he could do about Niska. His voice sent icy chills down the spines of everyone in the room. “We’re going to find the liumang who orchestrated this and if it is the last thing I ever do, I am going to rip his throat out with my bare hands.” Without a look back at the women sitting on the bed, Simon walked out, his shoulders shaking with the sobs he couldn’t quite hold in before making his escape.

Mal didn’t even wonder at the thought of Simon breaking his precious Hippocratic Oath, because the boy would have one hell of a fight on his hands if he thought Mal would let him take care of Niska on his own.

~*~

With a pleading look from Inara, Mal followed Simon out of the shuttle, hurrying to catch up to the younger man and finally reaching him when they’d made it into the dining room. Mal grabbed Simon’s arm and whirled him around.

“Let me go, Mal.”

“Ya ain’t helpin’ matters, Simon.”

Simon’s eyes widened and he gaped at the Captain. “Helping? No, I’m not. No one will let me!”

Zoe stopped in the doorway, watching silently, her body a rigid bundle of tension when she heard the two men.

“I ain’t happy about this my own self, but we need to –“

“Need to what? Tell me. What do we need to do?” Simon’s voice had an icy edge. He’d been pushed to his limit, blindfolded with his hands tied behind his back. He felt helpless and there was nothing Mal could do or say to convince Simon otherwise.

Mal swallowed thickly, unsure of what to say to calm Simon down. In truth, he felt nearly as helpless and trapped as Simon did. The boy didn’t deserve this. He had a right to his anger and his pain not to have it smothered. Hell, Mal had a lot of anger and pain his own self. But he couldn’t take sides, not in this.

“You don’t know. I don’t know. All I want right now is my life back. The life where we were happy and content, where we were bringing this –“ Simon stumbled over the word, the knowledge of his baby’s paternity tearing him apart, “bringing this innocent baby into our lives. Now it’s all come crashing down on our heads. “

Simon took a moment to take a breath before continuing. “The baby isn’t even mine. Kaylee doesn’t seem to want me near her. I’m a doctor for Gods sakes, I can help. And even if I wasn’t, Kaylee is my wife! But Inara thinks it best that I stay away from her?”

Zoe closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. She had figured out the rape long ago, and while she hadn't wanted to believe it, her mind had also wondered about the baby's paternity. Seeing Simon's wrecked form now though told her something else she had already deduced; Simon and Kaylee had had no idea, and the shock of the situation combined with the violence that had caused it was eating away at the younger man at an alarming rate.

“She’s just trying to help, Simon.” Mal answered, hoping that it was the right thing to say. “Kaylee needs some special –“

“Then I will go with her.”

Mal knew it wouldn’t be so simple but he didn’t figure it was wise to bring it up now. It would only anger Simon further, if that were even possible. He glanced toward the doorway and motioned Zoe into the room.

“Set course for Paquin, Zoe. Then get on the Cortex and call in every favor we can. We’re gonna get to him, one way or the other.”

Simon’s gaze shifted between the two. “What?”

Mal set his jaw and turned his full attention on Simon, fully aware that the boy may not like what he had to say. “We’re droppin’ the women folk off on Paquin, like Inara wants, and then we’re goin’ after Niska.”

Simon’s fists clenched at his sides. But when he spoke, his voice was low, calm, calculated and that frightened Mal in more ways than he could rightly count. “They’ll be safer if they’re off the ship.”

~*~

Jayne lumbered town the hallway, intent on going back to his bunk. But as he glanced at the open hatch leading to River’s bunk, he squinted when he heard the loud crashing from below. Thinking that the girl had gone crazy, he briefly considered running for the doc, but then he remembered the argument he’d had earlier with his sister.

With a grumpy huff, Jayne climbed down the ladder, his body tense as he waited for the little assassin to leap out of the shadows at him. To his great surprise, the girl was nowhere to be seen upon his first sweep of the room. Paper littered the floor, as did her clothes, and as he moved further into the room, he noticed River standing in the corner, her arms wrapped around herself.

“Ai ya tian a, girl, what’s goin’ on down here?”

In yet another move that shocked the large mercenary, River launched herself toward him and wrapped her slender arms around his waist.

“Chaos. Pain. It hurts.” River buried her head in his chest and sobbed. “The voices. They won’t stop.”

“Whoa. What the – Girl get offa me.” Jayne stared down at the trembling little waif trying to think of a way to pry himself out of this situation. His resolve melted when she turned large, tear-filled eyes on him.

“Solid. Stone. Unmovable. Please hold me.”

Jayne’s eyebrows rose into regions they’d never before reached. “I – Girl, you got a overprotective brother for –“

“Hates me now. Doesn’t understand.”

Jayne recalled the vile words that had flown out of Simon’s mouth. He didn’t understand what was going on but he didn’t think he’d ever heard Simon so angry in all the time the prissy doc had been on the ship. River could be a tremendous pain in the pi gu but he didn’t think she’d ever done something worthy of her brother’s vehement anger. “For all his smarts, he don’t understand a whole lot.”

“No one does,” River whimpered and tightened her arms around Jayne’s waist taking what small amount of comfort his strong arms could give.

TBC

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Chinese Translations:

Zao gao – damn it Liumang- bastard Ai ya tian a - merciless hell Pi gu – butt/ass

----------------- Review and let me know what you thought. It'll make me post faster, really :)

These chapters are short for a reason. They're angsty enough and I don't want to overload the reader with it.

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Next chapter: Mal has one very big question for Inara and she reveals her greatest secret.