BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR

MANICGIRAFFE

Giving Your All
Thursday, May 4, 2006

Simon, Mal, and Jayne are trapped on Serenity. One must sacrifice himself for his friends.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2597    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

A/N: I dunno where this came from. I started with the "ludicrously drunk" line, and it kinda took on a life of it's own. A mite short, but it does that "dialog with no description" thing I seem to like.

Yes, this is still me avoiding "In The Ether". That bunny is elusive.

*******

"Captain."

"Doctor."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Suit yourself."

"Thank you."

"So, about this problem. I don't cotton to hidin' on my own boat like this. Got a plan worthy of a mastermind?"

"To be honest, I was thinking of opening this bottle of scotch."

"A good start."

"The remainder of the plan is to get ludicrously drunk and admit our defeat."

"Now that there's a plan I can get behind."

"Hey! We drinkin'? Ain't my preferred spot, but I'm in."

"Seems Jayne approves, too."

"Hell, Mal. Gotta keep ourselves entertained, being trapped like this."

"We ain't exactly trapped, Jayne."

"No? They're just camped in the cargo bay, waitin' for us to try somethin' stupid. We all know goin' down there'd be suicide right now."

"I tend to agree. But Doc here says he's got a plan to get us out."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. We're going to get really drunk."

"You mentioned that part already, Doc."

"I don't recall that."

"Not surprisin'."

"Stll not seein' how that'll help us. We gotta get to the mule if we wanna get outta here."

"The mule may be out of the question, Jayne. Got quite a few folk between us and it."

"Damn. Mule's kinda needed, situation like this."

"Indeed. All right. I have a plan."

"Lay it out, Doc."

"How many drinks have you had, Jayne?"

"Uh, four. No, wait. Five."

"Then you're in the back. We're going to sneak down the steps, stay behind the boxes, and run for the mule."

"Risky. Might could use a distraction, Cap'n."

"No one else is around. They already got Wash."

"Right. Then we do the best with what we've got. I lead, Doc in the middle, Jayne covers the rear. Let's go."

"Gorram, Doc. Can't ya walk quiet? Them shoes is squeakin' somethin' fierce."

"They're patent leather!"

"Quiet, both of you! Listen for the screechin', so we'll know they're close."

"Yeah, Doc. Quiet like."

"All right. Round this corner, then quick like for the mule. A man goes down, don't stop for him."

"What about my oath, Captain? I can't just leave someone."

"Won't have a choice, son, 'less you wanna meet the same fate."

"I....I understand."

"Shhh....damn! We've been spotted! Run!"

"Aw, hell! Get outta my way! Wait! Don't look at me like that!"

"Jayne!"

"Leave him, Doc! He's a gonner!"

"But, Captain! He's - "

"Done for! Now drive, boy!"

**

River looked up at Jayne with deep, soulful eyes. No man on Earth-that was could resist such a pitiful look. "Aw, Crazy. Why you gotta use them eyes like that?" A gale of laughter from the crates in the center of the cargo bay made him wince. He looked over, seeing Wash in the middle of the group, with Inara and Kaylee surrounding him.

"It's really not that bad, Jayne! Somewhat pleasant, having all these lovely women doting on you!" Wash gave a cheery wave, but Jayne just shook his head sadly. They'd broken him already. It was a sad thing when a man was sporting a yellow ribbon in his hair and was wearing an unacceptable amount of foundation. Jayne wished for his gun to put the man out of his misery.

"Come on over, Jayne. We'll do something with your hair." Inara beckoned, and River grabbed his arm, steering him to his certain doom.

"Whatcha think, 'Nara?" Kaylee approached with a selection of hair ties. "Blue or pink?"

"Definitely pink, mei mei. And maybe a bit of eyeshadow?" Kaylee and River giggled their agreement.

Jayne Cobb was a hard man, but even he couldn't stop the one lone tear that fell down his cheek. In his final moments, he managed to hope his friends got away.

**

"To Jayne!" Mal hoisted his drink, gathering the attention of the bar. "The man who gave of himself so that his friends could live!"

"To Jayne," Simon echoed.

"What happened to him?" A man looked up from the end of the bar. "Reavers?"

"Worse." Mal downed his shot. "Women."

"Women?"

"With hair ribbons," Simon clarified.

The man shook his headn and threw back his own drink. "Hell of a world."

COMMENTS

Thursday, May 4, 2006 8:28 PM

LEIASKY


ROTFL! OMG! This was hysterical! I need to go to bed, darnit and I'm laughing too hard!

Now, get back to In the Ether! I'm waiting with baited breath for more!

Thursday, May 4, 2006 8:38 PM

LEIGHKOHL


HAHa! Poor Jayne! And I could see Wash adapting quite nicely to the women prettying him up, but what is Zoe going to say when she sees him! Hilarious! Nice Job!

Friday, May 5, 2006 12:13 AM

AMDOBELL


I had a sneaky suspicion when Simon turned so readily to drink that the women of Serenity must have a hand in this, but oh how cruel of them to use their men so! Very funny, shiny. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:10 AM

LVS2READ


Figured it was gonna be the women they were tryin' to get by, but hair ribbons! Those poor guys! I'd cry, too, if I were Jayne. *g*

Funny stuff, as always! And, yes, I want more "Ether", too. Hope those bunnies hop back soon!

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:11 AM

EMBERS


very cute!
Except I still think Jayne wouldn't so much sacrifice himself as throw Simon to the dogs (remember he unloaded his partner before dumping the money in 'Jaynestown'
LOL
oh and I didn't mean 'dogs'
because heaven knows those are mightly pretty women wielding those hair ribbons!

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:30 AM

ALLIETHORN7


OMFG!!!! Too funny! I woulda never seen that comin'!!! Love the dialouge, and this part: "It's really not that bad, Jayne! Somewhat pleasant, having all these lovely women doting on you!" Wash gave a cheery wave, but Jayne just shook his head sadly. They'd broken him already. It was a sad thing when a man was sporting a yellow ribbon in his hair and was wearing an unacceptable amount of foundation. Jayne wished for his gun to put the man out of his misery.

Too f-in' fnny!!! I'm bustin' a gut here!!!!

-Danny

Friday, May 5, 2006 2:39 PM

BOOKADDICT


ROTFL! I love the worse than Reavers comment, it's just great and Jayne with pink hair ribbons hmmmmmm!

Saturday, May 6, 2006 4:56 AM

SWEETSERENDIPITY


Hair ribbons?! You have a mean and evil streak!

Saturday, May 6, 2006 9:03 AM

RIPTHEJACKER


How original, Jayne's the one who falls behind. I like the idea of Simon cuttin loose, gettin drunk, teamin up with Mal. Very inspiring.

TO JAYNE!

Saturday, May 6, 2006 6:05 PM

SQUISH


Okay, so I got it about halfway through the dialogue. You know somethings gone wonky when Simon and Jayne are working together. Poor Jayne! This was so gorram good! (the lone tear was a great touch)

And get back to that Ether Bunny, threaten him with the Ether Parade and an Ether Bonnet (okay, had to do that cause it took me a long time to get that reference back at the holiday when you posted your last chapter, sorry...)

Tuesday, May 9, 2006 4:38 PM

MORWEN112


Oh man, that was great! *wipes tears of laughter from eyes*

Jayne all prettified! HAHA!

And I can totally see Mal and Simon drunk. heeheehee!

Nice one!

Morwen

Saturday, May 13, 2006 3:11 AM

SEAL


I think that mal would and then jane would kill simon.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 8:33 AM

BELLONA


*laughs at girlified jayne and wash*
we're not that bad...usually

b

Tuesday, August 22, 2006 7:44 PM

AGENTRUSCO


very nice humor. *sigh* none of that left in me...


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