Disclaimer: Not mine, no coin changed hands. This story has not been beta-ed. Please accept my apologies for any errors or correct me.

Dedication: To all the folk who endure traumatic events and somehow find the courage to rebuild their lives.

Rating: NC17, For adult content, violence in some sections. Remarks: The next section in my long story arc exploring the challenges faced by Jayne and Kaylee as they struggle to define and strengthen their relationship. Takes place between the series and the BDM, three weeks after my previous story, “Leaps of Faith”. Click on my name to read the backstories.

Feedback: Sincerely appreciated when civilly offered; that’s what it’s all about. Some of you have expressed distress over this story’s title. Please consider the following:

Definitions: Source: The Random House Dictionary of the English Language Raping – (3) The act of seizing and carrying off by force (7) Plundering. Serenity – (1)The state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil.

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~

Raping Serenity

Chapter Five – Starlight

Standing just beyond the end of Serenity’s ramp, Kaylee unzips the top of her tan coveralls and slips her arms out of the sleeves, knotting them behind her waist to secure the garment. It’s even warmer outside tonight than she’s expected, with the sun-baked earth givin’ up its heat long after sunset.

She tugs on the bottom edge of the striped knit tank top she’s wearing underneath and wraps her arms around herself, gazing up into the Black. In the nearby brush, crickets trill a high-pitched chorus and the scent of sagebrush mixes with the bitter-sweet scorchy metal smell of Serenity.

She’s so wrapped up in her thoughts that at first she doesn’t hear Jayne behind her, his heavy boots and the repetitive tap of the cane he still needs.

The big man steps up behind her, wrapping one long arm over her own and drawing her back, close against him. Lord, she feels so good, he thinks, pleased when she doesn’t pull away.

He gazes up into the night sky. “Whatcha see up there, li’l girl?” he asks her, his voice soft and low beside her ear. She can feel the beat of his heart where her head rests against the middle of his chest.

“Ya know, ya oughta be more careful, Kaylee,” he fusses at her. “Anybody couldda snuck right up on ya, far away as yer mind was a minute ago.”

She looks back at him over her shoulder and teases, “Three-legged man makes a lotta noise comin’ down that ramp, Jayne. You’re gonna have to work on your stealthy skills a little.”

He chuckles. Far off to the north, there’s a faint glow from the refinery at Newberg, and the low sound of a steam whistle echoes across the emptiness.

“Guess that’s shift change,” Jayne observes. “Now factory work is somethin’ I couldn’t ever see m’self doin’. Eats up a man’s soul. Ranchin’ cattle, yeah, maybe. That’s different. At least you’re outside a lot and the days ain’t all the same.” He looks out across the dark landscape, eyes always alert.

Kaylee grins, “Mal might tell ya otherwise. Ain’t it funny how we start off from one place, an’ wind up doin’ somethin’ we never couldda imagined?” She leans into the warmth and bulk of the man behind her, feelin’ how her body rests against his as easy as breathin’.

“Take the Cap’n,” she continues. “Started out on a cattle ranch, then got all caught up in th’ war, and here he is, ownin’ a Firefly with a whole bunch a folk on board, doing whatever sorta work we can get. When I was a bitty thing, didn’t never have no idea I’d be a ship’s mechanic, travelin’ all over th’ Black. Don’t imagine you started out figurin’ ta be a mercenary, either…”

She feels his breath, warm and soft on her hair and the back of her neck, followed by the faint kiss he presses to the cap of her shoulder.

“No…,” he drawls. “An’ I didn’t count on fallin’ in love with a li’l ray a sunshine, neither.” He uses his arm to turn her around to face him. The bay lights from within Serenity softly illuminate her face, and he’s silhouetted, big and dark against that light. For a long silent minute they look at one another until a rosy blush climbs Kaylee’s cheeks and she breaks into a smile.

“C’m on then, Mr. Hero. Let’s ramble.” She takes his free hand and tugs. “How ‘bout them rocks over there. They ain’t so far.”

++++

The Firefly’s bird-like shape stands out dark against the star-filled sky, and they’re both breathin’ hard by the time they get to the little hollow high up on the rocky hill that overlooks the plain.

“Damn, that’s hard to do with this luh-suh leg of mine,” Jayne bitches, frustrated.

“I got two good legs’n this climb was tough to do, Jayne. Don’t be so hard on yerself. You’re always tellin’ me to ease up and not get so frustrated with things. Maybe you need a spoonful of yer own advice.” Kaylee flops down, tryin’ to get her breath and Jayne lowers himself to the ground beside her.

He slips an arm around her shoulder and pulls her over against his side. “Ya know, girl, we ain’t had time like this off together in a long while.” Even with the burn and ache of his healing leg, he’s glad they made the climb. The night air is sweet and its freshness welcome after the stale, recirculated air of the ship.

She fits herself up snug against him, her elbow restin’ on his thigh, her head back against his shoulder. She feels peaceful, safe, cherished. It’s a good feelin’, a feelin’ the big man gives her and she knows she’s missed it.

He leans his jaw against the side of her head, breathin’ in the way she smells. “Kaylee, darlin’…” He feels how her hand on his knee tightens just the slightest bit and wonders why.

“I been thinkin’ about what you said to me about needin’ to see the folk on Serenity more like family. I guess what you were talkin’ about is loyalty, and that’s not somethin’ I ever knew much of. Hell, Kaylee, I spent most a my life bein’ loyal to myself. Never had a reason to owe that to any ruttin’ fool. But after all that mess back on Canton and when you an’ I talked about what I done on Ariel, I got to thinkin’ about what loyalty really means.”

His voice gets husky with admiration. ”Like how Zoë is loyal to Mal. I seen that woman put her life on the line many a time for th’ Cap’n an’ it ain’t 'cause she’s in love with ‘im or just 'cause she’s his first mate.”

Because he’s talkin’ about deep stuff and that ain’t easy for him, Jayne starts to rock the two of ‘em back and forth, just a gentle, soothin’ little movement that Kaylee notices, a movement that tells her how hard this conversation is for him.

He goes on, “I know I talk a lot of fei oo about the doc an’ River – him because he’s such a snotty li’l prick an’ her 'cause she’s so gorram unpredictable. But I gotta respect what all he done to get her outta that Alliance academy an’ how hard he’s worked to try ta help her.”

This is a pretty surprising line of conversation comin’ from Jayne, and Kaylee turns around some so she can watch his face. He takes her hand in both of his and traces little circles on the back of it with his thumbs as he continues.

“There’s the loyalty I seen in Mal, times he’s covered my ass in a fight, even when he didn’t start it an’ had no cause to wade in, ‘ceptin’ I was part a his crew. Even decidin’ not to space me after Ariel when he couldda and most captains would have, that was loyalty. So I figure," he looks down at the little hand he’s strokin’, “that maybe that’s what you was meanin’ I needed to learn.”

He takes a long, deep breath and looks down into the starlight reflecting from her wide eyes.

“I ain’t a deep thinker, Kaylee. Ain’t got the doc’s smarts or book learnin’. I know I made some bad choices and, hell, I might even make some more. I got a mean streak, don’t always manage my mouth like I should, an’ tend to react before thinkin’ things through. But even slow as I may be, I know I ain’t the same man as Mal hired. I owe summa that to the Shepherd. Most of all, I owe it to you.”

Kaylee looks up at him and cups the side of his face with her palm, feeling hard jaw under stubble. “Ya done good, Jayne.” He lies back against the slope with a deep sigh, lookin’ up at the points of light that spangle the Black. “C’mere, babygirl.”

She curls up next to him, her head on his shoulder and an arm draped across his deep chest. “Guess I got some things I need to say to you, too,” she admits.

“I’m listenin’.”

“I ain’t never had real serious feelin’s about anyone, Jayne. Just playin’ around, what my Daddy use’ta call sportin’. Even chasin’ after Simon, it was mostly imagination, more like some kinda overblown crush or silly fantasy. I wasn’t thinkin’ about whether him an’ me was really a good fit, or whether he was even able to pay attention to anyone but River. I guess I was seein’ the shiny and wantin’ him to be someone he’s not.”

“Then I got to seein’ what had been there all along, somethin’ real, somethin’ not made of dreams and imaginin’s. An’ that was you, Jayne” She looks up at his profile as he’s gazin’ skyward.

She hesitates, running her hand over his chest, then continues, “This thing between us got a whole lot more serious that I ever counted on. To be honest, you comin’ so close to dyin’ back on Aberdeen really shook me up. I kept thinkin about what you do an’ how dangerous it is, and wonderin’ whether I could handle knowin’ ya was always at risk a getting’ killed.”

He gently pulls the clip out of her hair and the fragrant mass unfurls under his fingers. “I can understand why that’d be a tough one,” he murmurs to her as he runs his calloused fingers through the silky fall of her hair.

She nuzzles against him and sighs with pleasure. “But what I come to see was that there ain’t no guarantees for anybody. If it ain’t some hundan’s bullet, it’s sickness, or dyin’ in birthin’ or Reavers or the Alliance or just getting’ old. We’re all gonna die, Jayne. You, me, River, Wash’n Zoë, the Shepherd, ‘Nara, Simon, Mal – even Serenity. Ain’t a one of us gonna live forever.”

“That’s a truth, girl.”

“Guess I’m just sayin’, it’s a waste to not be livin’ life as fully as I can, just ‘cause I’m scared of one of us dyin’.”

“Huh.” Jayne muses. “Me an’ Shepherd had a talk about that one day. I allus thought faith meant the same as religion. But he said it was really more believing in somethin’ and bein’ willin’ to take action based on that belief. Called that a ‘leap of faith’.”

Kaylee climbs over on top of him and smiles down just before she kisses him.

“Well, look out, Jayne Cobb, ‘cause I’m leapin’.”

(To be continued…)