Title: Almost Unreal Rating: PG Synopsis: River imparts some very important knowledge to her nephew. Simon and Kaylee have a heart to heart. And Mal has difficulties holding his daughter. Timeline: 8-9 months after wedding, 7 - 8 months after All good things must come to an end Notes: Next part of a series beginning with : And So It Begins, Kiss Me, Coming Together, Tell Me, What’s Proper?, Tears , Peekaboo, Impatient, Waking Up is Hard to Do, The Talk, I See You, Exhaustion, Moving Day, Celebration, Surprise , Vacation, Reunion, Manipulation, Baby Talk, A First Time for Everything, The Way It Is, A Special Day, Girl Talk, The Gift, Breaking It In, Making Plans, Friends and Enemies, Where I Belong , Private Time , All good things must come to an end, Moving On, Questions and Answers, The Secrets That We Keep, Revelations, All a Flutter, Shattered, Far and Away, The Perfect Day, Almost Unreal

Disclaimer: This story is not meant to infringe on the copyright of any person or company related to the trademarked characters and situations depicted in the Serenity movie or Firefly series. I make no money from this. Only done for fun – and a desperate craving to have more stories told about this wonderful ‘verse Joss Whedon created.

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Happy times ahead - well mostly. Aren't you all glad? Back to fun, fluffy old me - for now. :)

Not much else to say other than - enjoy!

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Jayne wrinkled his nose as the newest member of the crew was announced. “Amaelia Serenity Reynolds.”

“That’s real pretty, ‘Nara,” Kaylee said from the other bed, smiling as she lay against Simon, their son cradled against her breast.

Jayne glanced from one baby to the other, trying to hold back the smile that was inching its way into his eyes. After all that had happened, after all the death and loss of life, it was comforting to see two new lives born into the middle of it. He turned to Kaylee and Simon, “What’d ya name that one?”

Zoe slapped his arm.

“What?” Jayne asked, confused.

“Tactful as ever,” Simon’s eyes danced as he looked down at his son. The smile hadn’t left his face yet, but in all the excitement, he hadn’t stopped to ask if Kaylee had named their son.

Kaylee smiled sheepishly at Simon. “Couldn’t call him, hey you, till ya got back.”

Simon chuckled and kissed her temple. They'd briefly discussed baby names a few months ago. “Whatever name you chose will be fine.”

“He chose his own name,” River offered from where she stood at the side of the bed, gazing down at her little nephew.

“Well, since he can’t quite tell us what it is, what Kaylee chose –“

“He told Kaylee.” River nodded, and brushed her fingers across the downy hair. She smiled up at her sister. “You got it right. Well, except for the middle name. He doesn’t like that one.”

Kaylee’s jaw fell open. “Didn’t give him one yet.”

“I know. But,” she glanced at her brother. “Won’t be anything like Simon, so can’t have his name.”

Simon raised a curious eyebrow. “What name did you choose, bao bei?”

Kaylee smiled as she stroked her sleeping son’s smooth cheek. “Jaden.”

“That’s a fine name,” Simon said, glancing down at the sleeping babe.

“Not Jaden Simon, though.” River wrinkled her nose.

“How about Alexander?” Simon offered, wondering why the name had suddenly popped into his head.

River smiled knowingly at her brother. “He likes that one.”

Simon rolled his eyes at his sister. “He’s sleeping, River.”

“I see that.”

“Jaden Alexander Tam,” Kaylee said, smiling as it slipped off her tongue. “I like it.” She turned her head and caught her husband’s eyes.

“I do too.” He kissed her gently and Kaylee snuggled into his arms, content to remain like that for the rest of her days.

~*~

While Kaylee was with the counselor, Simon was watching his baby boy, marveling at the tiny hands and feet, at the soft dark hair that crowned his head. They’d been moved back into a normal room, the doctors determining that Kaylee and the baby could return to the room she’d previously occupied before the birth. Jaden was nearly a week old now, quite strong enough not to need constant monitoring by the House medical staff.

Simon didn’t know how long he’d been standing there, looking down at the bassinet cradling the sleeping baby, but when a slim hand reached out and touched his shoulder, he turned sharply, his stiff muscles protesting at the swift movement.

“He’s pretty,” River said with the kind of smile he realized he had not seen on her face in months.

Simon was too overcome with emotion to answer her and simply returned his gaze back to the miracle before him. The euphoria he felt was almost unreal. After everything that had happened, all of the pain and suffering, all of their hopes and dreams shattered, the pieces had been unbelievably put back together again.

River slipped her hand into his and watched with him, knowing, understanding, the difficulty in releasing the pent up tension that had been built up in his very cells as he’d come to accept that the baby Kaylee was carrying wasn’t his. Niska’s death had allowed him to temper his rage but in its place was now a guilt that’s he knew he would never wholly fade – even now knowing that Jaden was his son.

“Did you know?” Simon finally asked, not looking at her. He knew he didn’t need to explain. She could read his mind.

“Not until we landed,” River admitted, knowing what he meant. She kept her eyes glued to Jaden, who looked so much like his father, even in sleep.

“But you knew it was a possibility.” Again. It wasn’t a question. By now, Simon knew better.

River made a face at him which made him chuckle when he noticed it out of the corner of his eye. “When you two spend as much time in bed as a couple in the first month of a relationship, I think it’s a possibility.”

Simon looked up at her then, his face impassive. “There shouldn’t have been a chance, River.”

Silence hung between them for a moment while he let her think on his words, on what they truly meant. He’d administered the shots himself. The same day of every month. A routine he had never missed.

River smiled gently and squeezed his hand. “I had to meddle.” When she looked up at him, her eyes were wet. “If I didn’t, there would have been no chance.” She glanced back at the sleeping babe. “He wouldn’t have been yours.”

Simon nodded, understanding – as much as anyone could understand his sister’s unusual behavior. “How long ago did you tamper with them?”

A small smile tugged at River’s lips. “Months.” When she finally looked away from the baby and at her brother, the smile had grown. “It obviously took a long time for the residual traces of the contraceptive to leave your systems.”

“I’m a doctor, River. I made sure to get the good stuff.”

She leaned against his shoulder and exhaled softly when he draped his arm around her and hugged her tightly. “Didn’t want a baby too soon.”

He grinned at her and then back at his son, marveling at the fierce protectiveness he felt for the boy. He wondered briefly if he would feel the same if Jaden had not been his. He wanted to think so. “It was the right time.”

“Yep.” River nodded and then pushed him away. “Go rest. Kaylee will be back soon and he’ll be awake. Then you won’t get any sleep.”

Simon chuckled but was transfixed by his son, little fingers curled into fists, the simple rise and fall of the tiny chest as he breathed softly in his sleep.

“You’ll be tired as soon as you sit down.” River pushed him toward the nearby settee. “You’ll wake up when you need to.”

Simon rolled his eyes, pressed a kiss to her cheek, gave the baby one last look, and went to lay down on the couch. Within moments he was sound asleep.

River grinned smugly before returning her attention to her brother’s son.

~*~

A soft, confident voice penetrated the fog of Simon’s dreams, dragging him slowly back to consciousness. He kept his eyes closed for a few moments and simply listened – to his sister give advice to his baby son.

“– just remember that. You’ll need to know someday.”

Simon just waited, smiling inwardly as River continued to impart her own brand of advice to the sleeping baby. The patter of rain echoed in his ears from where it struck the roof and the tile outside the window.

“The maximum speed that raindrops can fall at is around 18mph, depending on their size. “ She glanced out the window at the rain falling from the sky. She knew, by the sun peeking through the clouds, that a rainbow was inevitable. She smiled at her nephew before continuing. “Sunlight is a mixture of colors. When it passes through a raindrop, it is refracted and the light splits into seven different colors, creating a rainbow. ”

She tilted her head and smiled at the baby. “On Earth-that-Was, whales lived in large, natural oceans of water –not every planet has one of those – and they talked to each other by making a loud clicking noise. Sound waves travel very well underwater and they could hear each other from 100 miles away.”

River’s eyes shifted to her brother, struggling to keep the grin off his face and continue to look like he was asleep. She thought of Kaylee’s infectious smile and knew that the little boy lying before her would have that same smile. “A supernova is the most energetic single event known in the ‘Verse. Material is exploded into space at about 10,000 kilometers per second. All the stars in our galaxy would have to shine for six months to produce the amount of energy released by just one supernova. Your momma smiles as big as a supernova.” She reached her finger in and brushed it along the smooth cheek. “So will you.”

She cocked her head and grinned evilly. “And remember, never go to your father for advice about girls. He’s such a boob.”

Simon suddenly lost his stoic determination to pretend he was asleep. He’d tried not to laugh at his sister’s rather correct assessment of his lack of talent with the opposite sex, but it pained him to know that she was right.

“He can’t understand you, you know.” Simon had listened to enough and pushed himself to his feet, stretching his cramped muscles.

River shook her head and frowned at Jaden. “Don’t listen to him. He’s a boob, he doesn’t understand these things.” She turned a very stern gaze on her brother and tried to act put off by his interruption. “We were having a very important discussion before you so rudely interrupted.”

Simon walked over and glanced down at the still sleeping baby, his heart in his throat once again. “I’m sure you will have many, many more.”

River smiled playfully, her eyes dancing. “Lots.”

“Even some I’m sure I won’t want to know about.” He already knew his sister would endeavor to make sure that his son grew up happily spoiled by his loving aunt River.

River met her brother’s eyes. “What you don’t know can’t annoy you.”

Before Simon could answer, Kaylee walked back into the room, all smiles when she noticed River and her husband standing over her son’s bassinet. Simon hurried to her side and she leaned into his arms with a heavy sigh. They took a glance at the sleeping baby and Simon turned to his sister. “Can you watch him for a few minutes?”

River rolled her eyes at him. “Been watching him for the last hour, Simon. Go.”

River turned back to her nephew after Simon and Kaylee had gone and stared at him happily. She was more than delighted to watch the little one, whose eyes had just popped open.

"Can you recognize me yet?" River gave the baby a quizzical stare that she could swear the little boy reflected back at her. Reaching inside the bassinet, River worked her pinky finger into the Jaden’s fist and was rewarded when her nephew curled his tiny hand around it.

Smiling, River whispered, "You probably can't remember me yet. Memory is a very tricky thing, but I'm your Aunt River. Your daddy's my brother." Jaden cooed at her and River's smiled deepened. The pureness of the baby was something River had never felt before - his mind was uncluttered, clear from distraction and blessedly simple. Her nephew was only concerned with three things in life - food, diaper changes and sleep, everything else would come in time and River found it amazingly comforting just spending time with him. But she also had more things she needed to tell him, she was the boy's aunt after all and River imagined that familial bond came with responsibilities. "Your mommy and daddy are so glad you're here," she began, again watching as Jaden’s eyes opened wide and stared into her face. "They were waiting for you for a long time, longer than the eight months it took you to come, I think. I'm pretty sure your mommy's been waiting for you her whole life. She's got such a big heart. She needs more than just my boob of a brother to fill it," River confided, wiggling the boy's hand and getting a little yawn for her troubles. Reaching in to the bassinet, River picked up her nephew and brought him to her chest. He was so tiny and River had a hard time imagining that people could start out so small in life. And he looked just like old baby pictures of her brother. She wondered if Simon had noticed it. Jaden was a perfect little copy of him. She knew if they held images of the two babies side by side, they would look like twins, despite the nearly twenty-seven years that separated them. Holding him against her shoulder, River paced around the small room, swaying back and forth as she had seen Kaylee do. It felt so natural, so easy, River wondered if every woman was automatically programmed to know how to do this. "So you already know about your mom and dad and me," she said, continuing to whisper against the little boy's ear. Taking in his scent, River marveled at the sweetness of him and the way he seemed to fit against her shoulder. "But there's more I've got to tell you about." Settling onto the bed with him, River propped the baby up on her bent legs, resting his still wobbly head against her knees. Making sure Jaden was comfy, she began, "See, we're flying on this ship, a firefly, and it's called Serenity . . ."

~*~

“Everything all right?” Kaylee asked as Simon led her back out of the room and toward a little nook where they could sit on a padded bench and watch the falling rain.

”Everything is just fine. How about you?”

She smiled sweetly at him. “Just shiny, Simon.”

He sat down and pulled her into his arms, letting her relax against his chest. It felt so good to hold her again. He bent his head and dropped a kiss to her neck, inhaling the fresh, beautiful scent of her. But he’d wanted a few moments alone with her to talk without interruption and he knew he needed to bring it up sooner rather than later. He pressed a kiss to her temple. “Anything you want to talk about?”

“You been talkin’ ta Counselor Ling.” It wasn’t a question. She simply arched her neck and regarded him with raised eyebrows.

Simon grinned sheepishly. “While you were sleeping earlier. She wanted to talk to me for a bit.” What he didn’t tell her is that their conversation had been more about him, and the part he’d had in Niska’s death, than about how well Kaylee had been doing.

“If ya talked to her, she told ya how I was doing.”

He tightened his arms around her and pressed a kiss to the shell of her ear. “That would break doctor patient confidentiality.”

“So she wanted you to ask me how I was doin’ then.”

Simon grinned at his wife’s perceptiveness. “Pretty much.”

“I’m doin’ good, Simon.” She slipped her hands into his where they rested in her lap, and squeezed them reassuringly. She felt the urge to continue but stopped herself. Unfortunately, Simon wasn’t top three percent for nothing, he could feel the she wanted to say more.

“And?” he prodded gently, pressing his cheek to her hair.

Kaylee sighed softly, letting the calm, joyous feeling of his arms around her bolster her courage. “An’ I know what happened weren’t nobody’s fault but thems that did it.”

“That’s right,” Simon said softly, pressing a kiss to her hair.

He knew she’d want to continue, Counselor Ling had warned him that it was part of the healing process. In the day that he’d been back, he’d had a few long conversations with the Counselor, some quite unsettling as she attempted to delve into his own feelings, and why he shouldered so much of the blame and guilt for what had happened.

“I thought it was my fault. Thought I did somethin’ wrong. Wasn’t strong enough. But it weren’t me. Was them. I understand that now.” She arched her neck and turned the tables on him. “You okay?”

It took Simon a moment to switch gears. “I’m good.” He pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth and grinned. He really was good. His conversations with Counselor Ling had made him see a great many things from a different perspective. “Shiny even.”

Kaylee giggled. He never used the word and it sounded funny coming out of his mouth.

Simon tightened his arms around his wife and sighed. “The counselor and I spoke for a long time while you were asleep. She’s very good.”

Kaylee nodded and settled back against his chest. “Anythin’ ya wanna talk about?”

Simon wasn’t sure he was ready to tell her about how angry he had been. How he’d blamed everyone, including himself, for this happening. And he wasn’t certain if he wanted to tell her what part he’d played in Niska’s death. She hadn’t asked him yet, but he knew she would eventually. “Maybe later.” He snuggled her into his arms and was relieved when she didn’t pressure him to talk about it. He knew he kept his feelings bottled up too often, but he wanted to help her first, make sure she was okay, before burdening her with the knowledge of his worries and his guilt. He’d worked through it. They could talk about it later.

~*~

“Eh, you’re gonna suffocate that kid.” Jayne lumbered into Inara’s room and stared at the Captain holding his daughter as if he was protecting her from a pack of wolves.

“Of course he is,” River said from behind him, having just returned from watching Jaden. “He’s her daddy. Daddy’s always suffocate their daughters.”

“She’s right, Sir,” Zoe said from the corner, where she’d been looking out the window onto the peaceful, green grounds currently being bombarded by large, bulbous raindrops.

“Pain’s me ta say it, but the doc can hold his kid better than you can hold that one.” Jayne’s rather truthful observation only earned him a scathing glare from Mal, who repositioned the sleeping baby in his arms for the fourth time in as many minutes.

“He’s a doctor, of course he knows how to hold a baby,” Mal shot back, clearly annoyed with his crew.

“That’s not it. He’s always wanted babies,” River said distractedly.

“Well good for him. Now he’s got one.”

“An I’m sure lil’ Kaylee’ll be poppin’ out more soon ‘nuff,” Jayne joined Zoe over by the window, “Don’t see her bein’ happy with just one.”

River peered into the mass of blankets that were wrapped around little Amaelia and grinned knowingly at Mal. “You always wanted them too. Just didn’t tell anyone.”

Mal set his jaw and glared at her, then at the rest of the crew who now held bemused looks on their faces at this rather unexpected announcement. “Ok, out all of ya. I’d like some peace and quiet with ‘Nara an our baby.”

They all made their way out of the room without complaint, with the exception of River, who turned once she reached the door and grinned. “Don’t get used to it. Babies and quiet are rarely used in the same sentence.”

Inara laughed as Mal settled into the plush chair beside her bed, gazing at her with such love and devotion she nearly forgot to breathe. She slowly slipped out of the bed and settled onto his thigh, careful to avoid leaning against their daughter. She wanted to be close to him. As close as possible. Everything would be all right now. He was home, where he belonged. They all were.

After a moment of silence, Mal asked, “How are you feeling?” Amaelia began to whimper and Mal awkwardly placed his little girl into her mother’s arms so Inara could feed the crying baby.

“Much better now that you’re back safe and sound.”

A smile split his face as he glanced down at Inara suckling their daughter. “We’re fine.”

A moment of silence passed and then Inara finally asked, “Did you mean it?”

Mal’s eyes met hers and he panicked, wondering what she was talking about. He knew it wouldn’t be wise to irritate her right now – well, there was no good moment to irritate Inara Serra.

Exasperated, Inara rolled her eyes. “The proposal, Mal.”

“Oh!” Mal’s tongue struggled to keep up with his brain. “’Course I meant it.” For a moment his expression fell. Had she changed her mind? He decided to turn the tables on her so that he could find out. “Did you?”

Inara tilted her head, reading him like an open book. “I had a lot of medication in me at the time. What did I say, again?” The small smile that tugged at the corner of her mouth was the only indication that she was playing him.

He stared down at her. “Ahh! ‘Nara, don’t do that!”

Inara scowled at him as the baby whimpered at his raised voice. “Shh!”

Mal clamped his mouth shut for a moment before he leaned forward and whispered, “I wouldn’t have asked if’in I didn’t mean it.”

Inara’s face brightened and she tilted her head to receive a gentle kiss. When they parted, she snuggled against his chest and closed her eyes.

“You’re really okay?” Mal asked again, softly this time so as not to disturb the slumbering newborn.

Inara hesitated only for a moment before answering. “Yes, Mal. I’m okay.” her eyes narrowed as she regarded him carefully. There was something he wasn’t telling her. “Is there a reason you’ve asked twice in the last few minutes?”

“Went an saw your counselor when ya was sleepin’. Wanted to make sure you were doin’ ok.”

Inara tensed but then realized that Ling would be bound by doctor patient confidentiality and wouldn’t, by law, be able to reveal what was said during her sessions. “And what did she have to say?”

She could detect the frustration in Mal’s voice when he answered. “Said to talk to you.”

Inara smiled. “Of course she would. She’s not permitted to speak to you about my treatment.”

Mal nodded, and then prepared to ask her again but she kissed him before he could push the words out of his mouth. “I’m fine, Mal. Stop worrying.”

Mal simply tightened his arms around her and acquiesced for now. He knew there was something else, something she didn’t want to discuss. She would, eventually. He’d learned long ago not to push.

~*~

“You ok?” Jayne asked as they walked out of Inara’s room.

Zoe turned to Jayne, eyebrow raised. “What?”

“Ya look a little –“

“Depressed,” River finished rather bluntly.

Zoe swallowed thickly and walked to the nearest window. “I’m fine.”

Jayne moved to follow but River caught his hand and shook her head. Zoe wanted to be left alone. River could tell by her stance and her tone. “We’ll leave you alone then.”

Zoe’s nod was nearly imperceptible as River led Jayne away, leaving Zoe alone with her tumultuous thoughts.

She cursed herself for appearing so weak, for showing any kind of sadness around the two miracles that now belonged to four members of the crew. The babies were perfect. They had ten fingers, and ten toes. They were healthy. There wasn’t anything more one could wish for – unless it was for her own baby.

Zoe placed her hand on her flat stomach, wondering, not for the first time, what life would have been like if she’d had Wash’s child. It wasn’t an emotion she gave in to easily, or publicly, but she had more than once cried herself to sleep over the fact that she had no part of her husband to hold at night. But Zoe had no right to project her melancholy feelings on her friends. They were happy, for the first time in a long time, they were truly, unequivocally happy. She sank into a plush chair and stared unblinkingly out into the rain-filled sky.

She didn’t notice the tears that had begun to fall until she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and quickly wiped them away before she turned her head.

Counselor Ling, knowing every member of Serenity’s crew by now, looked down on Zoe with concern.

With an abruptness Zoe herself hadn’t expected, she reached up and clutched the woman’s hand. “Could I have a few moments of your time?”

Ling nodded wordlessly and sat beside Zoe on the bench, listening patiently as the older woman spoke about the pain and sadness that had followed her life every day since her husband had been killed.

~*~

“You’re fibbin’ there,” Badger said as he stared wide-eyed into the Cortex screen. “Ain’t possible.”

“They’re all dead.”

Badger’s mouth hung open in silence for a few minutes before he nervously flicked off the Cortex screen and turned to his men. He was suddenly very glad his office was in the center of Persephone’s merchant district. “Don’t let anyone or anything near this place that we don’t invite, dong ma?” He returned his attention to the dark screen and swallowed hard. There was only one person stupid enough to take on Adeli Niska – and win.

Badger looked around his sparsely fortified office and wondered not for the first time in the last year if it hadn’t been a mistake selling out Malcolm Reynolds.

END

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