BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR

SPACEFULLOFOBJECTS

The Games Men Play - Epilogue
Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Thanks go to BSCPantherfan, for causing me not to be able to let this go. Yes this is the END! For those of you, who read part 4, and were disturbed, you needn't worry, this is just a good, fun, and fitting end to Jayne's revenge on Mal and Simon. I hope you enjoy.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1699    RATING: 10    SERIES: FIREFLY

Jayne lingered for a moment and with a quick shake of his head, he tried unsuccessfully, to make a graceful exit.

CRASH!!!! He fell against the crates that had been concealing him, causing them to tumble down to the deck. Continuing to fall, he landed just a few feet short of two pairs of bare feet standing toe to toe.

Facedown on the deck, Jayne struggled to find a good excuse for being in the shuttle. "Uh...thought I heard something in here...s'all!" The gruffy speech reverberated off the deck since Jayne was too embarrassed to raise his face to the pair. "Guess it was nuthin'..uh..sorry to disturb..." he continued, still trying to find his, graceful exit.

Mal and Simon, being caught off guard, quickly retreated from the now prostrate merc, whose speech had degenerated from semi-coherent excuses, to barely legible gibberish.

Pushing himself up from the deck, still keeping his head down, Jayne thrust his left foot back in a feeble attempt to get out of the shuttle. His foot caught another stack of crates knocking the lot down on top of him.

CRASH!!! The stack fell, crates hitting him along the length of his body. "Ai ya huai le!" He growled still scrambling, head down, to make it to the exit.

The remaining boxes had fallen between the now panicking voyeur and his freedom.

Ignoring the pain, Jayne rose up on his elbows, and drove himself forward even harder, striking his still lowered head dead center on a fallen crate. "Hun dan!" He yelped, rising up on his knees, his right hand quickly moving to the knot forming on the top of his head.

***

The loud noises emanating from the spare shuttle, echoed throughout Serenity. Inara heard it first. Donning a silk robe, she quickly raced out of her shuttle to investigate the source. Seeing what appeared to be candlelight across the cargo bay, she began making her way along the catwalk towards the noise.

***

The crashing echoes reverberating throughout Serenity broke the music being created in Zoe and Wash's quarters.

"What was that?" Wash exclaimed, "Sounds like someone's thrashing around in the cargo area"

"I dunno honey." Zoe answered. "We need to check it out"

They both quickly dressed. Zoe grabbed a pistol from the closet, while Wash searched franticly for something to make himself look powerful. Grabbing the small metal trashcan by the sink, he followed his Amazonian wife up the ladder towards the cargo bay.

***

Deep in meditation, Book was also alerted to the commotion. "I was afraid this was gonna go bad." He thought to himself, as he rose from his chair, making a swift dash for the door.

***

"Ow..." Jayne cried, holding his head, his eyes welling up with tears. "I gotta get out'a here"

Quickly pulling himself together, he attempted to vault the remaining obstacles that stood between him, and an end to his growing embarrassment. As he did, his right foot caught one of the crates, cutting his escape short. Spilling out of the shuttle in a loud clatter. Jayne finally willed himself to raise his head to avoid any further catastrophe. As he did, his eyes came in contact with another set of bare feet.

River stared down at Jayne, a grin on her face. "Little peep, now can't sleep, eh' Jayne?" She whispered, reaching her small hand down to him.

"Fa kuang nu hai" He growled back, pushing her hand aside as he continued forward, raising to his feet, wishing he could have got away from the scene undetected.

Making a mad dash along the catwalk, he came face to face with the rest of the crew, now gathered at the crossway, bewildered looks flashing across their faces as he approached them.

"What the Hell is going on Jayne?" Zoe questioned, Jayne still making a beeline towards them. "What was all that noise?"

Jayne continued his march, pushing the crewmembers aside, as he franticly tried to escape the consequences of his ineffective plan.

"Jayne, where are you going?" Inara probed as Jayne pushed her to the side.

His mind wrecked, Jayne was unable to formulate any excuse and blurted the first words he could think of. "I'll be in my bunk."

Translations:

Ai ya huai le - shit on my head

Hun dan - damn it

Fa kuang nu hai - crazy girl

COMMENTS

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 2:34 PM

JORJAREYNOLDS


Not bad, hope it continues a little more...and don't worry what the others said it is a good idea.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 7:41 PM

ECAMBER


Ok, seriously... you can't leave this here. NO description of Simon and Mal and their reaction?? Seriously, I don't read slash, but I'd read this just to see how everyone reacts and/or how it's covered up.

I DID love Wash grabbing the trash can to seem more "powerful." Trust Wash for that.

C'mon, write more about this just so I don't feel like I've been left hanging!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 3:52 AM

BSCPANTHERFAN


HAHAHAHAHAH!! Glad to see that I "inspired" someone. I laughed so hard reading part 4 that the business next to where I work stuck their heads in the door to see what was going on. So I am glad I read this before going to work this morning, because my house has good insulation, and my neighbors won't hear me laughing. I think.

More!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 4:02 AM

LVS2READ


ROFTLOL! Poor Jayne, just can't do anything right. *g* And Wash with his trash can! High-ster-i-cal!

"I love my captain."

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 12:13 PM

SPACEFULLOFOBJECTS


EC - I am trying to get Yanlei to write the follow-up for me on this...she would do it justice.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 7:43 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Completely and utterly hilarious, space..objects! Jayne losing all motor coordination at the presumed sight of Mal and Simon having some slashy fun leaves me breathless...from laughing my ass off:D

And I hope the sequel to the epilogue comes soon...regardless of who writes it;)

BEB

Thursday, May 25, 2006 2:26 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS


Poor clumsy Jayne, and things were going so well.

Write some more soon, even if it is not this story. I like the way you write.

Thursday, May 25, 2006 6:03 PM

ITSAWASH


Ummm, Spacey? I USED to like you. But that was before you played hell with my Boy's ability to escape the scene of his latest discontent by way of impeding his every move with gorram crates, and applying a goose-egg to his pate by way of his nogging gettin' whacked on one of said crates. But I DO still love your way of working such dastardly consequences on Jayne, and your brilliant way of painting all our BDH's, so forgiveness will eventually come. Line: ""CRASH!!!! He fell against the crates that had been concealing him, causing them to tumble down to the deck. Continuing to fall, he landed just a few feet short of two pairs of bare feet standing toe to toe."--imagery excellent here and throughout the fic.

"The gruffy speech reverberated off the deck since Jayne was too embarrassed to raise his face to the pair." --Love this line. I don't know another who would give us the visual of him looking down and then the auditory of his voice rising back off the deck plating because of his face being turned downward. And of course Jayne would be looking down, to avoid seeing what his arrangements had provoked.

"The crashing echoes reverberating throughout Serenity broke the music being created in Zoe and Wash's quarters. "--Mmmmmmm. Just Mmmmmm.

"The remaining boxes had fallen between the now panicking voyeur and his freedom."
-and-
"Ow..." Jayne cried, holding his head, his eyes welling up with tears. "I gotta get out'a here"
-and-
"Quickly pulling himself together, he attempted to vault the remaining obstacles that stood between him, and an end to his growing embarrassment. As he did, his right foot caught one of the crates, cutting his escape short. Spilling out of the shuttle in a loud clatter."

Okay...now SEE? Ya went and took him so far down into the pit of despair, and all he was tryin' to do was wreak a mite of revenge, which he deserved, after what those two hun dan had done to him, what with the lingerie and the make-up and all. Okay, okay. So he ended up liking the thong, and he even made good use of it later (Mmmmmm...Jayne slappin' that ass in the mirror...) but HELL, Spacey! You're a mean mean man. And you owe Jayne an apology.

P.S. God, you don't write NEARLY enough to satisfy me. Ya just leave me wanting more. Like when I read the first Dune book and I had 20 pages or so left to go. I couldn't bear to finish, so I laid it aside, bookmark at that point, and just smiled at it night after night on the bedside table, till I finally sighed deeply and consumed those few remaining morsels, knowing the sad that would hit me at the final few words. Yeah. It's like that. More please!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 7:36 PM

ENGINEANGEL


HA HA, clumsy Jayne...MUAHHAHA!!! clumsy Jayne again!

Ooo, everyone's gonna rush to the shuttle and see...*starts laughing again!!!

<<They both quickly dressed. Zoe grabbed a pistol from the closet, while Wash searched franticly for something to make himself look powerful>> --- hee hee, this is so classic wash

<<Grabbing the small metal trashcan by the sink, he followed his Amazonian wife up the ladder towards the cargo bay.>> --- I like this line and how you describe Zoe as "his Amazonian wife"

<<His mind wrecked, Jayne was unable to formulate any excuse and blurted the first words he could think of. "I'll be in my bunk.">> --- LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOFrellingL!!!!!!!!!! Oh that'll make for a funny situation.

Nice ending spacie, absolutely wonderful, and so freaking hilarious. Again, this is a total ten! *laughs more and more and more...


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