A/N: Angst!

Part 3 ~ Let it Ride

Twenty-seven years and nothing but failures and promises that I couldn’t keep, oh lord I wasn’t ready to go I’m never ready to go Let it ride Let ride easy down the road Let it ride Let it take away all of the darkness Let it rock me in the arms of strangers, angels, until it brings me home Let it ride, let it roll, let it go

~Ryan Adams, Let it Ride

Jayne had one unspoken rule: do not tell. Kaylee’d never been able to figure out why, but he said it with a fierce look in his eyes, the kind of dangerously determined look that Kaylee had learned early on, even before it was like this, before it was Jayne-and-Kaylee, meant business. There was somethin’ underneath it, somethin’ that was almost…fear? But that couldn’t be it. Jayne weren’t afraid of nothin’ or nobody. He made Kaylee feel safe. “Hey, Jayne?” she asked one night as they lay stretched out on the engine room floor. “Why is it that we can’t talk about us ‘round the rest of the crew? Don’t think they’d mind so much…look at Wash and Zoë. An’ ya can’t tell me the cap’n and ‘Nara don’t got somethin’ goin’ on, Jayne.” He ran his fingers through her hair. “Never mind.” She sat up, rested her weight on her elbows. “I wanna know, Jayne. I’m sick of bein’ all secretive and stuff. I just wanna tell ‘Nara, I promise I won’t tell nobody else.” “Kaylee.” His voice is serious, borderin’ on angry, and Kaylee shrinks back in fear. He internally cringes. He didn’t mean to frighten her. “Kaylee,” he tries again, softer this time. “When I joined the crew, the cap’n gave me a warning. He told me I had to keep my hands away from you, that if he ever caught me doin’ anythin’ to ya, he’d kill me personally. An’ I promised him I wouldn’t go near ya. I couldn’t do it, Kaylee. I couldn’t stay away from ya.” Kaylee rolled over. She couldn’t figure out why she was cryin’, but she couldn’t stop. Jayne pulled her close to him, rocked her back and forth slowly, murmuring nonsense words in her ear. “Don’t worry, girl. I won’t let nothin’ hurt ya, promise.”

“Gorramit!” Mal cursed. “Where in the ruttin’ hell is he?” He reached for the engine room door, turned the handle. “Kaylee, have you seen Jayne?!”