All of a sudden Mal couldn’t breathe through his nose. He felt two very small, sticky fingers pinching his nose. He opened one eye slowly and saw three sets of eyes looking down on him. Mal closed his eye hoping that this was a horrible dream and when he awoke they would be gone. But, he knew it wasn’t a dream because he still couldn’t breathe through his nose and there was now jumping on his bed. Still with his eyes and nose closed. “Malcolm is there a reason why you are holding my nose captive?” “Are you up Goddaddy?” “If I was asleep would I be talking to you?” “Maybe…if you sleep talk. Poppa sleep talks sometimes.” Mally said finally letting go of Mal’s noise. Mal quickly got up and grabbed the jumping culprit and held her down. “What did I tell you about jumping on beds on my boat?” ”That it was fun and exciting.” Giggling Amina said. “My exact words where don’t, cause if you fall and break your neck…” “You ain’t cleaning it up. I know Goddaddy. But it’s still fun.” Amina jumped down to the floor. Mal looked at his three God children. There hasn’t been a dull moment on Serenity since these critters where born. At first he wasn’t to keen on the idea of having babes aboard Serenity, but now he can’t imagine life with out them. Not that he would admit that to anyone, but they where the light of his life. Mal noticed that Gabe’s nose was running he fumbled threw some of his stuff and found a hanky. He put it up to the boy’s nose. “Blow.” Mal felt the force of the liquid on his hand. Yep, never a dull moment, he thought. He threw the hanky in the pile of clothes on the floor. He grabbed Gabe up and climbed up the ladder. Amina and Mally followed close behind him like little ducks. Mal headed for the bridge he had some words for his first mate and pilot about letting their children wake him up from his much deserved sleep. When he got there he saw something that he didn’t want to ever see (again at least) Zoë and Wash making out. Mal covered Gabe’s eyes while closing his. Amina and Mally just giggled. “Ahem…” They didn’t stop kissing. “Ahem.” Mal said louder. “Do you two want to unattached your selves and tell me why I had a 3 alarm wake up call today? On my god given day of rest?” Zoë finally looked up from Wash. “Sorry sir.” Zoë straighten herself up. “You can open your eyes now.” Mal slowly opened his eyes. He had caught Zoë and Wash having one of their “moments” before; he didn’t sleep for two days. “What did I say about you two doing…” Mal looked at Gabe. He was smiling. Then he looked down and the other two. “Doing…” Mal felt hot all of a sudden. “Having sex, Goddaddy. They were having sex.” Mally said matter of factly. Wash, Zoë and Mal all looked at Mally as if he had been in the act him self. “Son…what is um, what do you think sex is?” Wash asked really not wanting to know the answer. “You know what sex is Poppa its when a guy and a girl…” Mally made a thrusting movement. Choking up Wash tired to get out, “Who told you that?” Before Mally could answer Zoë got up. “Jayne! What in the gorram hell are you teaching my boy.” Zoë yelled as left the bridge. “Well that was disturbing.” Mal went over and sat in the co pilot’s chair with Gabe still in his arms. “Back to my original point, my 3 alarm wake up call.” Wash looked at Mal grinning. “You don’t remember…Mally closed the locker door.” Wash ordered. Mally quickly shut the door close. “Here, you two sit.” Wash pointed down at the floor. Sulking they both sat down on the floor. “Mal you said that you would watch the kids for us today.” “I did?” “Yeah, at dinner last night. You said you would watch the kids cause you forgot Zoë’s birthday…and you said we could have the day off to do…” Wash looked down at his son, who was looking almost too intently at him. “Why don’t you kids go bother Simon?” They all quickly ran out the bridge to find Simon. “You’re a bad man.” Mal said laughing at the thought of the kids messing with Simon. “How long do you and Zoë plan on staying planetside? We got that job on Eros in a couple of days.” “It’s all worked out Captain. Bender won’t have the goods ready for pick up for a couple of days. And where 3 days ahead of schedule, and it takes only 18 hours to get from Helix to Eros.” “Ok, but that still doesn’t answer my question. How long you planning to stay planetside.” Mal made sure to stress the long part. “The whole day…and maybe the next afternoon.” Wash said hoping that Mal would agree. Mal leaned back in his chair. He had never watched the kids for a whole day before, but he felt comfortable, because he knew that Kaylee the rest of the crew would be there to bail him out.

*****

“What do you mean your not staying on the ship?” Mal following Kaylee out the engine room like a lost puppy. “I ain’t never been to Eros. They got a multi plex.” Kaylee headed towards the cargo bay. Mal let out a small whimper. “Well how long you planning to stay?” “I don’t know…depends.” “Depends on what?” Kaylee smiled. “The kinda sales they got. You’ll be fine.” Kaylee kissed Mal on the cheek. “Come on you guys.” Kaylee barked out. Simon, River and Book all came down the stairs. “And where are ya’ll going?” Mal asked. “Shepherd Book got us tickets to a real play.” Kaylee exclaimed. “It’s just a bunch of the brethren putting on a show. Nothing too extravagant, Kaylee.” “I know, but I ain’t never seen a real play before. We’re going to make a day of it. The multi plex, dinner and a show.” Kaylee was bouncing on her toes. Mal was getting desperate he didn’t want to baby-sit alone. “Well why don’t ya'll take the kids along…” “I don’t think that’s a good idea Captain.” Simon interjected. “Gabriel’s sick. He has a slight cold. He shouldn’t leave the ship.” “Well why don’t you just take Mally and Amina. I’ll watch Gabe.” Mal hoped he didn’t want to sound like he was dumping his god children on them, but they could be a real handful. Simon felt almost bad. “Another reason why I’m going…we’re out of inoculations so I don’t want to risk the other kids getting sick.” By now Kaylee was dragging everyone out of the ship. “I have some medicine that you should give Gabriel every 4 hours. It should be easy to give to him just put it on his tongue and it will dissolve itself.” Simon said as Kaylee dragged him out. “Bye Captain!” She yelled out. River stood by Mal for a moment. Mal thought that see was going to stay behind. She gave him the funniest look. “Not going to happen. Hao yun.” River skipped out of the ship. Mal looked up and noticed that Inara’s shuttle was still docked. If he asked politely maybe she would help him baby-sit. He straighten his clothes, making sure he looked presentable. He would use his manly whiles on her. Seduce her into helping him. Mal headed up the stairs, but he was halted by Inara. “I just wanted to tell you that I’ve got a client lined up and I won’t be back until the morning.” “Man’s must got stamina. All day and into the morning…impressive.” Mal gave her a smirk. “You know you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” “And what do I owe that lovely piece of imaginary?” “You wanted me to help you watch the children.” Mal tired to look offended. “I was not. The thought never crossed my mind.” “Good bye Mal.” Inara headed toward her shuttle. Mal had one more glimmer of hope, it had come to this. “Jayne.” “Yeah Mal.” Jayne came from the kitchen. He was dress in his most fetching clothes. “Why you got all gussied up for me? You shouldn’t have.” “I didn’t.” Jayne grinned. Mal had seen this before. Jayne was clean, his clothes were pressed, shoes shined, and he had on his most favorite hat. “I’m gonna find me some trim. Don’t wait up.” Mal watched Jayne go. Damn, he was all out of options. He sucked it up. After all he lead hundreds of men in battle once. Surely he could handle 3 six year olds. Then, Mal remembered, he lost the war.

*****

“He’s sick Wash. Should we really be leaving him.” Zoë said as she tucked Gabe in his bed. “Zoë I don’t want to leave him just as bad as you do, but we also need some husband wife time.” Wash pleaded. “He’ll be fine.” Mal stood at the doorway listening. He was rooting for Zoë to win this argument. Simon snuck up on Mal. Whispering in his ear, “What are you doing?” Mal jumped, “Ahh…” He grabbed his heart. “Doc you shouldn’t be sneaking up on folks like that. Liable to get your self shot.” Simon smiled a bit, “I’ll remember that.” He headed into the room. “You coming or are you planning on standing out there eavesdropping?” “I was not eavesdropping, I was surveying my surroundings.” “Ah yes, I apologize. Are you coming or are you going to continue your surveying?” Simon asked standing in the doorway. Mal pushed by him, “Any one tell you that you’re an ass.” Mal heard giggling. He looked down and there was Amina looking up at him. “You said ass.” “What did I tell you about eavesdropping?” “Make sure you don’t get caught.” “No.” “Umm that people will say the best stuff when they think your not listening.” “No.” “Umm…that it was funny, cause you can use that information later.” “No.” “I don’t know Goddaddy.” “Never eavesdrop on me.” “Cause you’re the captain.” Mal picked her up. “Right cause I’m the captain.” Amina wrapped her arms around Mal’s neck. “I thought you where going to ‘make a day of it’” Mal said in his best attempt to sound like Kaylee. “I am. I just wanted to check on Gabriel before I left.” Simon handed Mal the medicine bottle. “You need to give him one tablet in a couple of hours, then after that every four hours. If his fever spikes up any higher, I have the communicators. Also make sure he doesn’t get up and drinks plenty of fluids. Try to keep the other two away from him also. I don’t want them getting sick too. Sooo I stocked the infirmary with plenty of antiseptic and bandages if you need them.” Simon looked around the room. “Should I write this down for you captain?” Mal felt a little overwhelmed but he wasn’t going to show it. “Nope, I’m fine Doc have fun.” Mal smiled as he put down Amina. As she dropped from his arms Mal noticed the bags that where in the corner. “What’s with the bags?” His eyebrow arched a little. Wash picked up the bags. “We’ll be back tomorrow morning. Come on honey.” Wash quickly fled the room. Zoë kissed Gabe on the cheek. She whispered in his ear. The boy started laughing. The other two children where at her legs, she bent down and whispered something quiet to them. “Dong ma?” She said as she got up. “Yes.” Mally and Amina said in unison. “Sir.” Zoë held out a piece of paper. Mal just looked at the paper as he took it. “What’s this?” “It’s the list.” “A list of what?” Mal was confused. “Just a list of things that you need to know when watching the triplets.” “Zoë I’m truly offended you don’t trust me with your kids?” Zoë smiled. “It’s not about trust, Sir. It’s about protection.” “Still offended here. You don’t think I can protect your kids?” “List not for them, Sir.” She looked back at her children who where on the floor fighting over a toy. She gave Mal a pat on the back and left. Mal looked at the list that Zoë had given him, it was pretty long. He balled it up and tossed it aside. He didn’t need no ruttin list to watch his grandchildren. “Ok how bout we play a game!” Mal tired to sound as excited as possible. “Let’s play Lanzhou Job!” Mally suggested. “No let’s play hide-n-seek.” Amina chimed in. “Can you just read to us.” Gabe said between sniffles. “Maybe later.” Mal picked up Mally. “My game is a lot more fun.” Mally eyes got bigger. “What is it?” “It’s called nap time.” He lay Mally on his bed. “That’s not a game.” Mally said pouting. “But, it’s sooo much fun.” Mal tucked Mally into bed. He then put Amina in her bed. “We’re all gonna take a nap.” “But we’re not sllllleepy.” Amina whined. “Move over.” Mal pushed Amina to the side of her bed. He kicked off his boots while shifting, in the very small twin size bed. “You’re swishing me.” Amina tired to get Mal off of her, but he was too big.

******

Mal woke up to sniffles. Gabe was standing beside him watching him sleep. “Goddaddy…” Gabe whined. Mal jumped up. He noticed that Amina was no longer beside him and that Mally wasn’t in his bed. “Where’s your brother and sister.” Gabe just shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno…Goddaddy…” Mal quickly got up, when his feet hit the ground they landed into a warm, chucky, liquid-solid. He looked down on the floor then at Gabe. “I…” sniffle. “threw up.” “Fu ai hou qiu.” Mal lifted one foot up in disgust. Gabe started crying. “Stop crying.” “You’re mad at me.” “I’m not mad.” Mal slipped up a little as he tired to get away from the vomit. “Yes, you are.” “No, I’m not.” He pulled out a towel from their closet and wiped his feet. “Yeah, you are.” “No, I’m not.” Mal said a bit harshly. Gabe started crying even louder, “Yes you are.” Mal felt bad for yelling at a six year old. He knew that he wasn’t going to win the Goddaddy of the year award at this rate. He picked the boy up in his arms and kissed him on the forehead. Gabe just placed his head on Mal’s shoulder. “Sorry for yelling. I didn’t mean it. Yuanliang?” Mal felt the nodding of forgiveness on his shoulder. “Good why don’t we get some crackers to settle your stomach and find for siblings.” As Mal walked through Serenity he was getting a bad feeling. It was too quite. The commons room was empty and so was the kitchen. His feelings where getting worst. He shifted Gabe in the other arm. When Mal reached the cargo bay, his eyes almost popped out of their sockets. “Suoyou zhe shi zui huai de baozha ya fuxie!” Amina had just pulled down a welding-helmet and sparked the blow torch. “Amina Rose Washburne what in the five special hells to do you think your doing?” Mal yelled as he came from the kitchen. Amina didn’t hear him over her wielding. Mal shield himself and Gabe from the fire. “Amina what do you think your playing at?” Mal said a bit louder. She heard him this time and cut off the blow torch. “I’m making lunch.” Mal looked down on the floor. There was a frozen dinner package on the ground. “Momma said I wasn’t allowed to use the stove or oven.” “And she said it was ok to use the blow torch?” “No, not really. She never said not to use it.” Amina said innocently. Mal grabbed the torch away from her. “Well I’m telling you now. NO-MORE-BLOW-TORCH-TO-COOK-FOOD. Dong ma?” Mal looked around the bay. “Where’s your brother?” “I dunno.” Amina shrugged. “Goddaddy?” Mal sighed and shifted Gabe to the other side. “I’m still hungry.” Mal dropped the blow torch and took her by the hand. “We eat as soon as we find Mally.” Just as he said that Mal noticed that the air lock doors where open and any tom, dick, or Harry could walk up in Serenity. “Did Mally go outside?” Mal asked as he peered out the door. They where parked in the Keio Docks on Boros. The Keio Docks wasn’t the busiest docks on Boros and Mally couldn’t get into too much trouble here. Mal walked to the end of the ramp. “You see your brother?” “No...I’m still hungry.” Amina whined. Mal noticed a very beautiful woman heading his direction. As she came closer Mal realized that she was a Fed. “Zhe bu shi zuihao de yitian.” Mal mumbled under his breathe. He put on his biggest smile, “Hiya!” The women seemed not amused. “Captain Harbatkin?” “Yes that would be me. How can I help you?” Mal gripped Amina’s hand tighter. “I believe that this belongs to you.” The woman turned around to revel a rather dirty Mally holding an even dirtier dog. “You know Captain you should keep a better watch on your children. Keio is no place for children to be running about. Luckily I found him before some slavers did or worst.” The lady fed scolded. “Yes ma’am. How lucky am I that you found him.” Mal said kind of sarcastically. “Your boy needs a good thrashing. He has some pretty funny notions about Federal Alliance Officials.” The lady fed looked disgusted at Mally. “And a thrashing he will get. Thank you.” Mal smile grew even broader. “Come on nanhai. You had me worried.” Mal pushed Mally into Serenity. He extended his hand to the fed. “Thank you so much. Boys will be boys right?” The lady fed didn’t shake Mal’s hand. “I suppose.” The lady fed turned and left. Mal quickly shut the air lock doors. “Malcolm Hoban Washburne…” Mal couldn’t think of the right words to describe how upset he was. But, neither Mally or Amina were paying attention to him. They both were engrossed with the dog. “No…no way are we keeping that…” Mal looked at the creature closer. “what is that?” “Itsa dog Goddaddy. Can we keep him. Pluh-ease.” Mally pleaded. He got on his hands and knees. “No…we’re not keeping him.” Mal said matter of factly.

****

“Gabe please you gotta open your mouth.” Mal held out the pill. “Look it’s not that bad.” Mal popped the pill in his mouth, he quickly spit it out. “That’s disgusting.” “You gotta sing the medicine go down song.” Amina said starring up at Mal. “Right the medicine go down song…how does it go?” Mal thought at moment. “Mally and Gabe and Amina sleeeep tight in the night….” “That’s the good night song, Goddaddy. You gotta sing the medicine go down song.” Amina said as she open a cabinet in the infirmary. “Close it.” Mal ordered. “All the vegetables go down, down, down…down, down, down…all the vegetables go down, down, down…” Mal sang. “Nooo that’s the veggie go down song. Goddaddy don’t ya know the song.” Amina asked. “Yes…where’s your brother?” Mal looked the window of the infirmary. Mally was playing with the dog in the commons room. “We’re not keeping that beast.” “Gabriel, will you be the big boy I know you are and take your medicine. You want to get better right?” Gabe shook his head no and closed his mouth tighter. “I’ll give you 5 copper to take it.” “20.” Gabe countered. “20.” Mal scoffed. “8.” “17.” “I don’t think you understand Gabe. You’re gonna take this.” “25.” Gabe crossed his arms and pressed his lips tighter. “That’s not how you negotiated. Ya don’t go up.” “30.” “30…you’ve been spending too much time with Jayne. How bout 19?” “23.” “Deal.” “Deal.” “Now open.” Mal ordered and held out the pill. “We gotta shake on it. Poppa says never make a deal without shaking on it.” Gabe said extending his hand. Mal sighed and shook his hand. Gabe opened his mouth.

*****

Zoe and Wash joined Mal in the kitchen. He was at the table eating dumplings. “Sooo Mal I hear you had a pretty interesting day today. Blow torches, feds, coin, and PuppyBoy.” Wash said. “Sir did you tell Mally he could keep that beast?” Zoë asked as she joined Mal at the table. “That beast has a name Zoë. It’s PuppyBoy.” Mal said as he popped a dumpling in his mouth. “And yes I said he could keep it. It was part of our negations.” “Negations, Sir. You negotiated with a six year old?” Zoë crossed her arms. “Did you read the list I gave you, because no negotiations was number 4 on the list.” Mal almost choked on his dumping.

Hope you enjoyed my ramblings. Have a great rest of your day!!!! Tonya :) Translations: Don't quote me on these.... Hao yun Good luck Dong ma Understand Fu ai hou qiu Buddha loving monkey balls Yuanliang forgive me Suoyou zhe shi zui huai de baozha ya fuxie of all the explosive duck diarrhea this is the worst Zhe bu shi zuihao de yitian this is not the best day ever nanhai boy