BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

HISGOODGIRL

Raping Serenity 14 - Care and Comfort
Wednesday, June 7, 2006

After taking care of scarper Jed Kurtz, Jayne frees and comforts Kaylee, then gets them through the dark night ahead.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2320    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

To all the folk who endure traumatic events and somehow find the courage to rebuild their lives.

Disclaimer: Not mine, no coin changed hands. This story has not been beta-ed. Please accept my apologies for any errors or correct me.

Rating: NC17, Adult content,angst Sensitive readers may find this chapter too intense. You have been advised. Remarks: The next section in my long story arc following Jayne and Kaylee as they define and strengthen their relationship. Takes place between the series and the BDM, three weeks after my previous story, “Leaps of Faith”. Click on my name to read the backstories.

Italics indicate internal dialogue.

Feedback: Sincerely appreciated when civilly offered; that’s what it’s all about. Some of you have expressed distress over this story’s title. Please consider the following:

Definitions: Source: The Random House Dictionary of the English Language Raping – (3) The act of seizing and carrying off by force (7) Plundering. Serenity – (1)The state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil.

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Raping Serenity

Chapter 14 – Care and Comfort

Jayne Cobb stands over the shattered body of the man he’s just killed, shaken, his breath tearing out of him in ragged gasps. One hand is still fisted in the front of Jed Kurtz’s shirt. The other and his pistol are splattered with blood and bits of tissue from the blast that scattered the back of the scarper’s head all over the grass below.

As his second shot echoes off the surrounding mountains, he teeters on the black edge of fury, drawn back to awareness by the faint sound of a woman’s voice calling out within the cabin.

“Jayne, is that you…?

He drops Kurtz’s corpse and is up the steps in one long stride, kicking the door back, Cassie at the ready. What he sees nearly breaks his heart and makes him think he has been all too hasty in killing the man outside.

“Oh God, cut me loose!” Kaylee whimpers.

Holstering his pistol, the merc tosses his hat onto the bunk and pulls the big bowie knife he carries on his belt. “Now, you hold still so I don’t nick ya.” With speed and care, he cuts the ropes binding Kaylee’s hands and arms to the old wooden chair and sheathes the knife.

He quickly checks her over for any serious injuries, concerned by the dark bruise on her forehead. Wonder what she’s suffered ‘sides this goose egg and all them cuts and bruises?

He can’t bring himself to ask if she’s been raped.

As he gently rubs her stiffened limbs, her circulation painfully returns and the battered, exhausted girl finally breaks down sobbing. “I was so afraid you wouldn’t come, that he’d… He, he was gonna kill me, J-Jayne…” The big man drops onto one knee and takes her into his arms to comfort her.

“Oh Jesus, Kaylee. It’s okay now. Shhhh…I’m here and that wang bao dahn ain’t never botherin’ nobody no more.”

The merc pulls off the camo jacket he’s wearing over his t-shirt. Gotta get her wrapped up some. It’s getting’ cold an’ she don’t need to be feelin’ shamed. He tenderly slips his jacket around her.

Aw, he thinks, it’s like dressin’ up a little kid. Can’t even see her little hands in them sleeves. Rolling the cuffs of the jacket back several turns, he zips up the jacket hanging half-way to Kaylee’s knees.

He sits down on the floor and cradles the little mechanic in his lap, stroking her hair and letting her cry, just rocking her as he struggles with what to do next.

Should I oughta radio Mal an’ let ‘im know she’s safe? Wonder if she needs the Doc to take a look at that bump, make sure her head’s okay? An’ how’s Wash gonna see where to land the shuttle, comin’ in over those mountains at night? Maybe best to hunker down here for tonight, call out in the mornin’… Besides, I done quit my job and this is likely the last night I’ll ever have with her. Best cherish the time whilst I can.

When her sobs slow, Kaylee’s finally able to croak out, “I need some water real bad, Jayne. Tah mah de wouldn’t let me drink.”

Unscrewing the cap from his canteen, Jayne hands it to her. “Now, go easy at first, babygirl. Too much after all you been through, it’s likely to come right back up again.”

She takes small sips, then asks, “What about Serenity, Jayne? Did you get her parts back? Them hundans gutted her, took all the electronics… " Kaylee starts to cry again and he shushes her softly.

“Don’t fret about Serenity, darlin’. Them gorram scarpers left a big ol’ trail an’ Mal and the others went after ‘em in the shuttle. I’d betcha Vera they got everything all back by the time we get you home. After all, you an’ Wash’r probably the only ones can put her all back to rights again.”

All the while he’s talking, Jayne’s thinking, Her bein’ all wrapped up in fixin’ that ship is gonna be the best medicine in the ‘verse for healin’ whatever she’s done been through. Sure as hell hope they managed to catch ‘em before they got the loot off planet…

++++

Night has fallen and the temperature is dropping rapidly. The merc realizes he needs to make preparations for the night. “Kaylee, honey, I got some things I need to take care of. You think you can manage alright in here by yourself for just a little bit if I leave Cassie with ya? I gotta get us some fresh water and start a fire. Up this high, it’s gonna get mighty cold before mornin’.”

Kaylee nods hesitantly and Jayne helps her to stand and gets her settled on the bunk with her back up against the wall, facing the doorway so she’ll feel safer.

He draws Cassie and takes a quick minute to wipe away the spattered gore before he shows her how to cock the heavy revolver and carefully places it in her hands. “Now just make sure you don’t go shootin’ me by accident.”

The girl nods solemnly, her battered face filled with fear and weariness.

“I’m gonna leave the door open for a few minutes while I’m bringin’ in some firewood. Be just outside, so don’t be afraid.”

Jayne steps outside, looking down at the dark shape of Kurtz’s body. A gibbous moon has risen and offers enough light for the grizzly task at hand. Best get this piece of go se out of the way before daylight. Don’t want li’l Kaylee seein’ it.

He grabs the scarper’s body by the ankles and drags it around behind the nearby woodpile, out of sight, then gathers a big armload of firewood; thankful to find it good and dry.

“Kaylee, I’m comin’ in.”

He climbs the steps, glad of his called-out warning. Kaylee sits with her bare legs pulled up inside his jacket and her dark eyes wide in fear. Cassie’s propped on her knees, gripped with both hands, and the hammer’s back. She’s biting on her lower lip so hard she’s unintentionally opened the split made by Kurtz’s blow earlier in the afternoon.

“Hold yer fire, girl! Ease that hammer down,” he tells her gently.

The big man drops the armload of wood on the stone hearth and goes to reassure her. “You okay? Simon gave me some meds if ya need ‘em.” He reaches out to tip her face up into the lantern light and Kaylee flinches away from his touch, eyes flaring widely.

“Easy, babygirl. It’s just me.”

“Head’s hurtin’ pretty bad,” she whispers, “but I can manage ‘til you get done.”

He gently wipes the drop of bright blood away from Kaylee’s swollen mouth with the edge of his thumb and lightly kisses her forehead before turning back to the fireplace. With his knife, he quickly strips a stick of aspen into a pile of long, thin shavings and lays other small branches around the tender. He strikes a match on the hearth and the shaved tinder bursts into flame, quickly igniting the other wood. The big man squats by the fire for a few minutes, gradually adding more wood and making sure the fire is burning evenly, then goes out for more to get them through the night.

“How ‘bout I close the door this time so it can start warmin’ up in here a little?”

Kaylee nods.

Soon the fire is burning brightly and the chilly cabin starts to warm up a little. Seeing the cast iron cook pot, Jayne decides to root through the dead man’s saddle bags and bedroll. His plundering produces a rasher of bacon, canned beans and hardtack. Not much, but better than protein bars.

“I’m gonna get us some more water, maybe scrub out this old pot. You be alright?” Kaylee wraps her arms more tightly around herself. Jayne can see she’s still jumpy and anxious.

“Don’t worry, babygirl. I’ll just be down at the stream. All you gotta do is holler for me.”

++++

The pot’s been scrubbed out with sand and refilled with icy mountain water and is now beginning to steam a little. Jayne is sitting on the bunk with his back wedged in the corner and Kaylee resting against him. He’s seen other women who’ve been beaten or raped and it’s clear to him that she’s in a sort of shock.

He leans his jaw against her hair. “Kaylee, honey, I wish you’d let me give you that smoother the doc packed. You been beat all t’ hell and I know you’re hurtin’. It’ll just take the edge off a little, help you relax some.”

“Don’t wanna relax none. Ain’t safe,” she grits out and he can feel her whole body tense up.

“You think a big ol’ mercenary like me can’t keep us safe, li’l girl? Me and Cassie and Delilah ain’t gonna let nobody in here to hurt you. I promise. Here, I got an idea.” He slips out from behind her and jams the wooden chair tightly under the door knob, wedging the door shut. “Somebody’d have ta work awful hard to get in here now.”

He smiles gently down at her. “Better?”

“Yep.” Her face is dusky with bruising and dried blood, solemn, guarded.

“How ‘bout the smoother now? Please, darlin'?”

Kaylee struggles with the idea for a minute then looks up at the love and concern evident in Jayne’s face. “Alright, then. If you think it’s best.”

He crouches down and gently strokes her face. “That’s m’girl.”

The mercenary opens the med pouch Simon gave him, picks out the corrrect ampoule and screws it into the hypospray gun. He cups Kaylee’s face with his hand and applies it to the girl’s neck. There’s a quick click and hiss and he can feel her relax slightly against his support. She takes a deep breath, and sighs long and deeply.

“Yeah, that’s better,” she nods.

He picks up some of the torn remnants of her coveralls, folds one section into a pad and carefully brings the heavy, steaming pot back over to the table near where Kaylee sits.

The big mercenary moistens a piece of the fabric in the hot water and wrings out the excess, then begins ever so gently to wash Kaylee’s face, sponging away the grub and dried blood. He tenderly cleans the knot on her forehead and dabs at her split lip. After rinsing the rag, he wrings it out again and looks at her uncertainly. “Legs?”

“Please… an’ can ya wipe down the rest of me, too? I just can’t stand feelin’ dirty like this any more.”

“Cuts are gonna sting like hell…”

“I know. Just do it. Please, Jayne.”

++++

Murky moonlight leaks in through the cabin’s single window. Jayne’s moved the mattress over closer to the fire and Kaylee sits cross-legged at one end, staring glassy-eyed into the flames. The cast iron pot contains the remains of the bacon and beans cooked up by the merc. He’s only been able to get a few bites in her.

“You sure you can’t eat a little more, hon?”

Softly. ”Nope. ‘Fraid I’ll get sick…”

He’s never seen her so subdued, her inner light all but extinguished by the traumas she has suffered. The rage in him surges again and he struggles to damp it back.

Hundan’s dead. Can’t kill him twice, much pleasure as it might give me. Need to stay focused on making sure we’re safe tonight, see she gets what she needs to help her through it.

With the huge amount of energy his powerful body has burned over the past twelve hours, he’s ravenous. “Well, you ain’t gonna eat no more, I guess I’ll clean the pot. I’m right powerful hungry after hauling my gimpy ass up a mountainside chasin’ some sweet li’l gal I know.” He hopes to get at least a hint of a grin from her, but she’s just sitting there, blankly looking at the fire, arms wrapped around her knees.

Jayne looks around the cabin for a blanket and finally points at Kurtz’s bedroll. “Looks like this is about all we got to wrap up in tonight.”

Glancing at the louse-ridden blanket, Kaylee mutters, ‘I’d rather freeze. Couldn’t stand havin’ that stinkin’ thing near me.”

“Well, we’ll stoke up the fire and you can snuggle up close to me if you wanna. You always said I run hot.”

He scrapes the remaining beans and bacon from the bottom of the pot, salvaging every edible bit, and lays more wood on the fire. The pile he gathered earlier is holding out well and the cabin is reasonably comfortable.

That smoother Doc gave me’s pretty much worn off now. Gorram leg hurts like hell. Guess that ain’t no surprise, all considered.

The merc considers killing the last of Kurtz’s cheap whisky to ease the pain, and rejects the option. No tellin’ if the gang might be comin’ back here. Guess I better keep sharp, in case I need to handle ‘em.

He glances over at the mechanic. Wonder if I can get Kaylee to sleep any?

“Kaylee-girl, how’s about we lay down, try to get us some rest? Both of us have had one helluva day.” He pats the mattress beside him. “You stretch out next to the fire so’s you can stay warm and I’ll take up between you an’ the door. Got Cassie and Delilah right here an’ I’m gonna keep watch all night so you got nothin’ to fear.”

The eyes that look up into his are bottomless and the pain he sees in them tears at his heart.

“Come on, babygirl. Lay down. I’ll hold you or not, whatever you say.”

Kaylee continues to look at him for a silent minute and then stiffly lies down on the old mattress with her back to the fire. In a barely audible voice she whispers, “I just want you to hold me, Jayne.”

She burrows her face into the center of his chest, breathing in the reassuring smell of him, sweat and tobacco and gun oil, finding comfort and security in the muscular bulk of him folded around her. He stretches out his left arm and she settles back, the side of her face resting on his bicep.

“Legs cold?”

She nods yes, so he throws a leg over hers trying to offer extra warmth. The girl presses tight against him and he enfolds her, his free hand stroking her hair and back. He whispers to her - reassurance, his love, anything really, the steady flow of words easing her into sleep. It takes a long time, but finally he feels her relax and her breath comes deep and regular.

++++

Throughout the long night, the mercenary keeps watch, still wound up on the dregs of the booster Simon administered and the adrenaline pounding through his bloodstream. From time to time he quietly eases up from his place beside Kaylee to add more wood to the fire, then lies down again next to her. His brain’s still in overdrive, chattering away.

Thank God she’s finally sleepin’. Ain’t never seen her shook up this bad, even after Early. Maybe that knot on her head’s part of the problem. Guess the doc’ll know what to do for her.

Don’t think that hundan raped her, but the threat of it an’ makin’ her watch ‘em gut the ship musta been damn near as bad. I sure hope like hell Mal’s got the gear by the time we get her back to Serenity.

He studies her sleeping face, illuminated by the dancing golden light from the fire.

I never loved anybody in all my life like I do that girl, ‘cept maybe my Ma. We was just startin’ to get things all worked out…

A realization hits and his breath catches deep in his chest.

Aw, ruttin’ hell. How am I gonna tell her I quit and won’t be on the ship no more? The one blessed thing in my life, an’ I had to give her up to come rescue her.

What’s the justice in that?

(To be continued...)

COMMENTS

Wednesday, June 7, 2006 3:31 PM

MORDSITH


awww, I have been waiting for this to get posted. It is exactly the angst, Jayleeiness I needed. Excellent chapter!

Wednesday, June 7, 2006 4:24 PM

REENIE


I think this may be my favorite piece of yours. Ever. All genres. It was so well written. I think your Kaylee-shock was dead on. In fact, I could quite easily picture the whole scene and I'm not normally that visual. I also thought Jayne was very Jayne-like and appropriate regarding the situation. I like that he didn't have it in him to ask her (at least not right then) if she had been raped.

Wow. That was some public gushing. (*slinks off, a wee bit embarrassed*)

Wednesday, June 7, 2006 4:41 PM

ARTEMISPRIME


Oh, HGG. You've broken my heart and made it expand out both at the same time. I am breathless after reading this and was saddened to come to the end. Beautiful. Wonderful. Kaylee's reaction is exactly what I thought it should be. She watched them rape Serenity, feeling it like it happened to her.

I especially like that Jayne always gave her a choice in what to do, instinctively knowing that she needed to feel a sense of power over herself that Jed and the scarpers had taken away. Jayne never coerced or forced Kaylee to do anything she felt uncomfortable with and to me, that shows his deep love and respect for her. Gosh, I think I'm swooning.

Wednesday, June 7, 2006 6:47 PM

SQUISH


Yep, that was some good angsty stuff. The shock she's experiencing is very realistic. And this is going to sound odd, but I love that Jayne thinks he wouldn't be able to come back to Serenity after all this. He's so concerned about her and he's so literal-minded. And that is a nice, realistic touch also.

Wednesday, June 7, 2006 10:40 PM

AQUARIANGIRL


That was beautiful and tender from Jayne, going from blinding rage to comforting the woman he loves. You wrote it just how I hoped it would happen. Thanks.

Thursday, June 8, 2006 2:05 AM

HISGOODGIRL


Gee, folks, thanks so much for your very kind remarks. The past couple of chapters have been difficult to write, but I'm pleased to know the resolution of this long tale seems to be as needed.

And for those of you who've been reading my work over the long haul, your on-going support and encouragement have meant a lot. Thanks!

Thursday, June 8, 2006 3:00 AM

BOOKADDICT


The shock Kaylee's experiencing seems very real, I like that she doesn't just recover. I like the care that Jayne takes to look after her and hide his anger. Wonderful, sad chapter.

Friday, June 9, 2006 5:14 AM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Gotta say, HGG...you have amazing skills:D

Just loved all the pain and angst you're throwing around, cuz it will mean all the more fun and joy later..won't it? Cuz while I don't normally ship Jaylee...I can certainly hope for happiness;)

BEB


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