BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

TONYAHUQT03

In a Million Years
Thursday, June 8, 2006

Just some randominess. Mal and Jayne have an inside joke that Zoe doesn't think is the least bit funny. Inara helps out Zoe with a problem...


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2250    RATING: 8    SERIES: FIREFLY

Kaylee hung from a scaffold when she saw Mal, Jayne, and Zoë walk up. Mal seemed cheerful, Zoë like Zoë, and Jayne had a look like he about to burst into laughter. Kaylee stopped what she is doing to chat. “Hey Cap’n!” She pulled up her face mask. “Hey there little Kaylee. You got the front panels fix?” “Almost…We get paid?” “Yeah.” “That ain’t all we got.” Jayne couldn’t contain his laughter anymore. Mal looked at Jayne and started laughing him self. Zoë gave them a look, and if looks could kill Jayne and Mal would both be dead. “What’s so funny?” Kaylee asked. She hated missing out on the jokes. “Nothing.” Mal tried to hold a straight face, but he couldn’t. He straightened up when he looked at Zoë who was the least bit amused. “Sorry.” He put on his apology face. Zoë doesn’t buy it and walked into the ship. She was greeted Wash who she brushed buy. “Hey baby…” Wash confused he looked at the laughing Mal and Jayne for answers. “What did you do to my wife?” Wash said as he looked at Jayne. “Won’t me.” Jayne said laughing as he walked into the ship. Mal out of breath from laughing so much, “Wash…I can’t…” He followed Jayne into the ship. Lost, Wash followed them into the kitchen. Jayne sat at the table dumping out the coin. Mal started to fix himself something to drink. Jayne has his delighted greedy face as he divided up the coin. Kaylee joined the men in the kitchen. “So what’s so funny?” Kaylee asked as she sat by Jayne. He protected the coin pile he has made. “Yeah, you all know I’m the funny one.” Wash interjected. Mal gave Jayne to you want to tell them look. Jayne responded with his no ruttin way, Zoë will kill me look. They bust into laughter again. Out of breath Mal said, “I would love to tell you, Wash, but you’re gonna want to ask your wife.” Mal broke out into louder laughter and Jayne joined him. Wash was getting a bit irritated. Kaylee just stood there. Simon and River entered the kitchen. “Do I want to know what is so funny?” He asked as he looked at Jayne who bit on one the coins on the table. “We don’t know what’s funny.” Kaylee said as she walked over to the captain who can’t keep a straight face. “We shiny for take off?” Mal said to Kaylee still laughing. “Yeah every thing shiny cap’n.” “Good Wash take us out. I’m itching to do some captainy things to do.” Jayne burst out into louder laugher at Mal’s remark. “Rhus orientale. It’s not really poison. Shouldn’t sit in it.” River added as she sits and joins in the laughter. Mal and Jayne just look at the girl. Mal walked out laughing.

Wash set the controls and decided to find his wife to see what was so funny. He climbed down his bunk and saw something that he didn’t think he would see in a million years. Zoë was bent over the sink in their room and Inara was rubbing something on her butt. Wash shook his head, was he dreaming (again). He pinched himself to make sure. “Owe!” nope wasn’t dreaming he thought. “Ahem…” Wash cleared his throat. “I can leave if you two if need some more alone time.” Wash said smirking from ear to ear. Inara turned around and rolled her eyes. “I’ll leave this here.” She placed a small bottle on the sink. As she left her and Wash locked eyes, she just gave him, “not in a million years” looks and left. Zoë pulled up her pants and started to wipe the sink like nothing had happened. Wash sauntered over to his wife and wrapped his arms around her. “Sooo, you and Inara working on my early birthday gift? Cause if you are…you can give it too me now, I don’t want to wait.” He kissed the side of her neck. “Not in a million years husband.” Zoë said smiling. Wash gave a whimper. “So what’s got Mal and Jayne giggling like school girls?” Zoë didn’t respond. She just continued wiping the sink. “Zoë, talk to me honey…did something go wrong with the job?” Wash turned her around so that she was facing him. There was a look on Zoë’s face that Wash hadn’t ever seen before, “Was that the look of embarrassment? His wife? His warrior woman could kick your ass in her sleep with one hand tied behind her back while frying eggs wife embarrassed? No.” Wash thought. “I got poison oak.” Zoë said barely above a whisper. “What?” She stood up tall and took a deep breath. “I had to go to the bathroom, so I swatted in some bushes. Apparently the bushes where poison oak.” She stated as she rubbed her bum. She picked up the bottle that Inara had given to her. It pained Zoë to ask, “Can you please finish?” Wash took the bottle, “My pleasure.” Wash said trying not to laugh. “If I hear one more giggle out of you husband…” She turned around to look at him. “Sex…that you enjoy so much, you can forget about it.” Wash’s face straightened up. “Stone face honey, I promised.” He crossed his heart. She turned back around and Wash just smiled from ear to ear.

**** This is for my VA Browncoats. We have a poison oak problem because of the recent weather, so be careful in your backyards this summer. Remember leaves of three let the be. (Yeah, I learned the hard way) -Tonya :)

COMMENTS

Thursday, June 8, 2006 7:59 AM

AGENTRUSCO


humorous, but I can't help but notice that it is riddled with spelling errors. Might want to supervise your spell-check.

Thursday, June 8, 2006 9:22 AM

LFABRY


So how long does poison oak last? I think this:

"Wash climbed down his bunk and saw something that he didn’t think he would see in a million years. Zoë was bent over the sink in their room and Inara was rubbing something on her butt."

is a damn fine spot to start this fic. Maybe drag out a little more Zoe's immediate reaction to the oak (it couldn't have been pleasant) and I imagine there was a lot of hopping and swearing.

Thursday, June 8, 2006 10:42 AM

AMDOBELL


I fell about laughing, this was wonderful and great fun! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Thursday, June 8, 2006 12:13 PM

BSCPANTHERFAN


I feel for Zoe. I am one of the fortunate few that are not allergic to poison oak or ivy. I found out on a camping trip as a kid. We pitched camp after dark, and only the next morning found out that we had slept all night in a bed of poison ivy. Everyone was miserable except me for the rest of the week.

Friday, June 9, 2006 12:58 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Gotta back up LFabry and say that starting off with Wash entering his and Zoe's bunk and seeing the above mentioned scene would have been mucho neato to read;)

But then again...you be the author, Tonya:D

And if you ever need a beta reader for fanfic, I would be happy to help out:)

BEB


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