I’m trying something new with this post.

This is a collection of vignette’s (posted 10 at a time until we reach 100) that tell their own little story. It begins in the middle of the season, though no specific episode is mentioned. I have purposely left that vague.

The challenge table which gave me the words that prompted each little vignette is listed: here if you want to see what the upcoming prompts will be.

I don’t expect a lot of people to like or read this because of the tense. It’s hard for me to read much less write. But I wanted to do it just once. Of course, you’d have thought I could choose something other than a 100 PROMPT CHALLENGE to do it with, huh?

I did have fun doing this, but, god I have never been so happy to finish something in my life!

If you make it through all 100, I thank you. I’ve written the prompts so that they create a little series. The first story I saw done like this was one of Mordsith’s. So it is to her I must thank (or curse!) for giving me the idea to try it too!

The last two are listed ‘Writer’s Choice’ but I had my beta give me 10 words which I wrote down on slips of paper and then chose two. It actually worked out really well.

Notes: Mucho thanks to TamSibling for beta’ing this monster that turned into 102 pages by the time I was done with all 100 prompts. Writing in this tense has been one hell of a challenge. One I never wish to ever undertake again.

And thanks to Leighkohl for saving my ass on a few of these prompts and tossing me ideas to keep me going.

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Because of You

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001. Dreams

She dreams of strawberries while he dreams of the life he left behind. She dreams of touching him, kissing him, drawing him out of his protective shell. He dreams of sunshine, her sweet smile and giving into his desire.

Night after night, Kaylee Frye and Simon Tam retreat to the safety and the solace of their respective bunks not realizing that once they close their eyes, they dream of the same thing; each other.

But once they wake, they are alone and they wonder if their dreams are too far out of reach – if they are just that – an intangible dream meant to remain forever in their subconscious; pure, untainted by the complexities and dangers of life.

He cannot help his sister, no matter how hard he tries and she feels like maybe she is cursed to love this man from afar, never to realize the sweetness of a simple kiss.

He tries to avoid her gaze – it creates an uncomfortable longing - but the energy that surrounds her very being draws his gaze like a moth to a flame. He cannot look away from her and finds himself smiling long after she has bounced away from him – some of her boundless good nature spilling onto him, into him, through him.

Simon wants to tell her. But his uncertain future stays his tongue. He wants to show her what she means to him. But he is nothing now. He has nothing to give. A girl like her deserves everything in the universe and more. But he has only what is contained in his small room, and his broken sister. Nothing suitable to give a beautiful girl like Kaylee Frye.

So when he retreats to his room later that night, he dreams – of strawberries and sunshine. In his dreams he can speak to her like a normal man. In his dreams he can tell her that he loves her.

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002. Nightmares

Only when she sleeps does he allow himself to relax. He wanders in the darkness late at night, listening to the comforting hum of the engine. Unconsciously, he seeks out the heart of Serenity. Especially after a bad night – and this has been a bad night – he wants to bask in the heat of her boundless energy. He wants to lose himself in her smile, in the brightness that permeates her very skin.

Simon finds her sitting in her hammock, reading a book she’s borrowed from Inara. The inventive bed reveals even more about her personality. Woven with a color scheme he would never have thought to put together, it speaks to Kaylee’s innocent personality. Just watching her gives him a peace he can only find when in her presence.

His soul is so dark, so sad, many times so defeated, that he needs her. He needs her so badly he can often taste it. But he doesn’t want to use her. He wants it to be real. So he pushes her away; keeps her at arm’s length until he can give her all of himself. Not someone who is pulled in two directions. When he can give his whole heart to her, then he will cross the invisible line that he has erected between them.

She shifts in her hammock, her hair falling over a bare shoulder as she tilts her head to continue reading. His breath catches as he watches her settle once again and he wishes that he could run his fingertips over her neck, kiss her supple lips, tell her that he wants her, needs her – loves her.

But he has never been good at talking to girls. And talking to this girl without putting his foot in his mouth up to his knee, is nearly impossible. But he continues to try. He can’t bring himself to push her away but he cannot make himself take that step which would bring them together either.

She moves again, and this time loses her grip on her book, which falls over the side of the hammock bending pages as it lands face down.

Simon moves quickly into the room and grasps the book before Kaylee can lean over far enough to get it. Her surprised gasp rings like music through his ears and he wants to lose himself in the sweet sound. Giving her a rare smile, he offers her the book. His skin tingles where her fingers brush his and when their eyes meet there is an undeniable pull.

But then River’s screams echo along the hallways. Nightmares have awoken her from her medicated slumber and she cries out for her brother, the only one who can soothe her jumbled emotions.

Simon squeezes Kaylee’s hand apologetically and hurries to his sister’s side, knowing that she needs him – he’s all she has.

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003. Daydreams

As Simon works in the infirmary synthesizing yet another medicinal cocktail that he hopes will regulate his sister’s psychosis, Kaylee pops her head in. It’s almost dinner time and she knows that Simon would forget and continue with his work if someone didn’t come to remind him.

When he doesn’t look up from the chart, Kaylee comes closer, saying nothing just simply watching him. How his hands move effortlessly across the page, how his eyes sweep across what he’s written, how he frowns or grimaces as he re-reads the results.

She doesn’t know how long she’s been standing there, but at some point he glances up and stares into the cabinet overhead, clearly lost in thought. As she watches him, the myriad of emotion that crosses his face, she knows he’s daydreaming and she wonders if his thoughts are consumed with her. But the chances of that are slim to none. He’s never rebuffed her advances – not quite, but he’s never encouraged them either.

There were times, moments too brief to be counted that she thought she saw the spark of something behind his eyes. And then it would be gone again, so quickly she wonders if it has ever been there in the first place. But she won’t give up. She knows he has to care for River, for now, until she is well. Until then, she will try not to push; she will be his friend and wait for the day when she could be something more.

When he snaps out of his reverie and turns to see her standing in the doorway, he smiles. The infrequent gesture warms her heart, makes it flutter uncontrollably in her chest and she opens her mouth to tell him why she’s there.

‘Dinner?” Simon asks, carefully setting down his stylus before stepping over to her.

Too enthralled with the swai smile she’s begun to think he reserves only for her, and eyes she can so easily lose herself within, she doesn’t answer.

Grinning wryly, he takes her hand and leads her out of the infirmary. When she glances down and stares at their intertwined hands, she lets her mind wander to her happy place; a place where she and Simon are together and she doesn’t have to daydream it to make it so.

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004. Emotion

Helpless. It is a feeling he has grown used to over the months he’s been on Serenity. The only time he feels useful is when someone comes to him with an injury that needs treatment. That he knows how to fix, to heal. In the infirmary, in his fortress of solitude, he feels the most at ease. He knows what to do and he does it with such amazingly accurate precision, even the Captain is left wondering how they ever got along without him.

But his sister, he can’t do anything for her but regulate her medication when she has a particularly difficult day – or night. It pains him to see her so broken. Even in a trauma situation, he did his best to heal the bodies that were brought to him, barely clinging to life. Sometimes, they made it, sometimes they didn’t. But he was always left with the feeling that he had done everything he could, used every means at his disposal.

Out here in the black he is a fugitive. He doesn’t have access to fancy equipment, a limitless supply of medications, or a substantial bank account. He is out of place, adrift, in this new life and he isn’t at all comfortable with it.

River, the more psychotic of the two of them, has adapted better than he. There is no use for his formal manners out here, Kaylee tells him so, there is no need for anything he knew – except his skills as a doctor. He isn’t used to being laughed at or chastised for his behavior– unless it is poor. Out here, the manners that have been drilled into his head throughout his entire life are useless.

He flounders like a fish out of water, frustrated and alone because no one understands. The only one capable is his beautiful little sister who probably understands more than he ever could, but is no longer able to string together the words necessary for him to comprehend. When she speaks, it is in riddles, and the crew looks at her – and him – as if they are some species from another world.

He doesn’t fit in. They don’t like him. And the one that does – beautiful little Kaylee, doesn’t realize what she’s asking of him with her coy looks, and her blatantly obvious interest. He clings hopelessly to a life he can never go back to while at the same time trying to make his way in a world that all of his previous training and experience never prepared him for.

As River has yet another breakdown, he runs to her side, holding her, comforting her, letting her cry and scream and shout incoherent words that must mean something to her but are just gibberish to him. He gives her a smoother to help her sleep and then returns to his room, climbing into bed and closing his eyes against his angry, frustrated tears.

He loves her with all of his heart, with everything he is. And he must be strong, brave. He must take care of her. But just once, he wishes someone would hold him and love him and tell him that it is okay to cry, that everything will be okay, because he isn’t alone.

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005. Hot

He can’t sleep. It isn’t the first time. And he’s sure it won’t be the last. He pads up to the galley to make himself some tea and smiles when he sees Kaylee already brewing a pot.

His heart flips as she turns her head and flashes him a smile that is brighter than any sun.

“Can’t sleep either, huh?” she asks, pulling out another mug for him, knowing that he’ll join her. This isn’t the first time they have shared a late night cup – and she hopes it won’t be the last.

“Just got River down,” Simon sighs and pulls out the chair.

Kaylee can see the exhaustion in his handsome face and her smile widens, hoping to cheer him up with just her presence and some well-made tea. She sets the mug down in front of him and sits beside him. When he doesn’t speak, she reaches out a hand to touch his arm.

“Hard night?” By his haggard appearance, she already knows the answer but she wants to get say it, to admit it – to her.

“Just like the last seven.” Simon takes a sip of his tea, barely registering the hand on his arm.

“Anythin’ I can do?” Kaylee’s eyes search his face, hoping that he will confide in her. She doesn’t push – much. But if he doesn’t open up soon, he’s going to snap, and she doesn’t want to have to pick up the pieces. He means too much to her.

“I wish there was something I could do for her.” He sounds defeated and she leans over and wraps her arm around his closest shoulder.

“You’re doin’ everythin’ ya can,” she assures him but he shakes his head.

“It’s not good enough.” He leans gently against her, enjoying the simple but comforting touch. He’s too tired to realize that it isn’t fair of him to heap his troubles on this bright, energetic girl. He wants to hold her, to relax against her, and he does, for just a few moments, before leaning away. He can see the disappointment she quickly masks, and must swallow his own. It isn’t time. As he stands and looks down into her angelic face, he realizes it may never be.

He has a job to do. He needs to help River. She needs him – all of him.

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006. Cold

A tremor runs down his spine when Simon realizes he has hurt her again. It was far easier when he simply ignored her advances instead of trying, and failing, to reciprocate them in at least some small way. He cannot give all of himself to her, not yet. But as the days and weeks pass, he knows that he cannot live without the light she brings into his life. And more and more often, he finds himself drawn to it. The hurt in her eyes as he says something stupid, yet again, cuts him deeply. He’s never wanted to hurt her.

“Don’t try so hard,” River, in one of her more coherent moments, sidles up beside her brother and puts her hand into his.

Simon closes his eyes. The only reason he’s tried at all is because it’s getting harder and harder to ignore her. Even if she pulls back, he can still see it in her eyes, in her face when she turns one of those thousand watt smiles on him. He doesn’t know what else to do. He thought talking to her, like a normal person, would do the trick. But now this uncertainty is becoming commonplace and he doesn’t like it – one bit.

“You can talk. Done it before.” River releases his hand and encourages him with a not-so-gentle shove to the back to go mend the fence he’d tried to swallow whole.

“It’s not so easy, River.”

“Too smart for your own good.” River teases before dancing away, leaving him watching after her wishing, hoping he could bottle that little bit of the sister he remembered. The days when she reminded him of who she had been were so few and far between it was painful.

As he takes a deep breath and decides that maybe now is the best time to speak with Kaylee, to apologize, River’s voice floats around him, giving him pause. “Can’t be parted. Even in death.”

Those words send such a chill down his spine that he visibly trembles and he hastens his steps toward the engine room, hoping he will be able to apologize without making an even bigger mess.

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007. Lust

Not a day goes by when Jayne doesn’t sling an insult at Simon and regardless of how much the doctor ignores the older man, his taunting continues. Most of the time Simon simply rolls his eyes and walks away, taking his sister to another part of the ship – a quieter part.

Rarely does the bigger man follow, but there are days, usually the rare few moments that he spends talking with Kaylee, that the annoying man-ape is there, relentlessly insulting, teasing and trying to embarrass the doctor.

As much as it pains Simon to admit it, there is something particular about Jayne’s increasingly bad moods. They’ve been growing synonymously with Kaylee and Simon’s budding friendship. But it takes River cornering Simon in his room one day to truly make him see.

“Jealous,” River says, her eyes unfocused as she glances over her brother’s shoulder at some invisible thing.

Simon stares incredulously at his sister. “Jayne? That man is not capable of any –“

“Wants her. But she’s not his to take.”

Simon sits slowly on the bed, letting his sister’s words register in his shocked mind.

“Doesn’t love her, just – wants her.” River’s eyes shift to Simon, seeing into his heart; into that place where he has tried to bury his growing feelings for Kaylee.

Simon frowns, disgusted.

“Could learn to love. Can teach an old dog new tricks.” River’s confidence unnerves him. “But she doesn’t see him. Only sees you.”

Simon shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk about this. Not now. Not with his sister. But her words stop him, chill him. He doesn’t know why.

“Then when?” River clearly picks the thought right out of his head and he’s only slightly annoyed. Nothing could keep him angry at his sister for long. “Need to talk about it with someone.”

Simon stands and takes her back to her room. “We can talk about this another time. You need to rest.”

River shakes her head and glances out the door. “He desires her. Hates that you have her heart.” Her eyes meet Simon’s and he trembles from the certainty he sees there. “Wants to harm you.”

Simon laughs. “He’ll have to get in line.”

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008. Hate

He hates this. Hates what those monsters have forced him to become, to do. There is nothing stable in his life, not anymore. Nothing constant except the certainty that River will have another breakdown, that another job will go wrong, that Jayne will insult him whenever the opportunity presents itself, and that Kaylee’s smile is a never ending ray of light in his otherwise weary and taxing life.

Simon wishes his pillow is a specific face when he hits it in his frustration. The face changes, depending on the day he’s had, but the hate, the anger, remain a constant reminder that nothing in his life will ever be the same.

Everything he worked for, toward, gone in the blink of an eye; his wealth, his career. All because those monsters had taken his sister, experimented on her, hurt her. He doesn’t regret his decision. He will never regret giving it all up to get her out.

But some days, when he is at his wit’s end. Some days, when he doesn’t think he can take any more, he allows himself to miss that life. He buries the thoughts of home in a small portion of his mind, and his heart, where he hopes his sister will never see. He never truly understood how lucky he was to live where he did, to go to the best schools, to be given everything he wanted – until it was gone.

Beside that longing to return home he tries to bury the hatred he feels for those involved in destroying his sister’s, and his, lives. He knows hanging onto it will make him a bitter man. And so he concentrates on making his sister better, even though he is beginning to believe that it is a hopeless task. She takes up all of his time, and energy, save for those special quiet nights, or days, when he has the freedom to wander, to explore.

He is never surprised when his legs carry him to the engine room, where Kaylee works tirelessly to keep the rusted old engine in as top shape as her considerable talents allow. When she greets him with a smile and a hug, more recently a squeeze of his hand, he forgets all about his hate, and concentrates on the love growing unbidden in his heart.

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009. Love

It drives a man to say crazy things, to behave like a gentleman – or like an ape. It is the cause of many a battle – for honor they say – but really it is just to sate men’s egos.

When does one know when it’s love and not lust?

The Captain and Inara fight like an old married couple. Simon thinks they’re in love. Wash and Zoe fight like the married couple they are. Simon knows they are in love. Simon and Kaylee don’t fight so much as don’t know how to go about starting and maintaining a relationship. Is it love? Or does he simply want someone to sate his longing, to make him forget all of his problems – at least for a while.

They don’t fight like a normal couple. They aren’t a couple in any sense of the word – really. He struggles to define what they have, but he really can’t explain it. And talking to her about anything close to ‘them’ causes him to revert back to a stuttering fool so he retreats back to safer more comfortable topics.

He’s loved before. He loves his sister. Thought he loved his parents, his work. But this is different. This is all encompassing. Her smile stops his heart – until he remembers to take a breath. Her touch awakens a desire he has long tried to suppress. He still messes up – he probably always will. She storms off in a huff and he apologizes. Then all is right again – until the next time.

Regardless of what it is, he refuses to give in. But as the days and weeks go by, as he continues to say the wrong things, never learning from past mistakes, he is grateful each and every time she smiles at him again. It fills his heart, that simple gesture. If it’s not love, he doesn’t know what is. Thoughts of her run rampant through his mind at all times of the day, in his dreams – and even his nightmares. In his nightmares, her absence from his life is what frightens him.

Then there is the guilt - he feels as if he’s betraying his sister. That she deserves his whole heart, but he doesn’t understand that as he struggles to heal the broken bits of her, that Kaylee is the only one who can heal the broken parts of him.

River calls him a boob. He’s beginning to resent that. He knows he is. She doesn’t need to constantly remind him.

With a sigh of frustration, Simon realizes he's said the wrong thing again and it's time for another apology. As he turns to leave and hears another Mal and Inara fight starting to brew, he realizes with a sad pang of regret, that he never once heard his parents fight.

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010. Anger

Mal and Inara are fighting again. Their voices echo through the cargo bay and into the common room where Simon and Kaylee sit, quietly talking. They stop and listen, eager to know what foolish topic they are arguing about tonight.

Kaylee leans closer to Simon in order to hear better, as he is sitting closer to the doorway. She smiles at him, her eyes sweeping down his neck, but his attention is drawn to the argument, his head tilted toward the cargo bay, his eyes rolled in slight amusement.

The topic is animals. The Captain hates them. Inara has been offered a well paying job to care for a client’s small puppy. Mal refuses to let another animal on his boat.

“Then why is Jayne still here?” Simon whispers, still not looking at Kaylee.

The playful bat on his arm draws his gaze back to her and he suddenly notices her closeness. She is leaning nearly over him, her face next to his, listening intently to the conversation getting steadily closer.

Simon lets his gaze slip down her cheek to the long neck revealed by her low cut tank top. He knows it would take only a slight movement to touch his lips to that place that he knows will make her tremble. He’s a doctor, he knows it exists. It’s his favorite spot to touch a woman – well, one of many.

When her eyes shift back to him, a smile on her lips from listening to the foolishness of the argument, her lips part and her heart thuds sharply against her chest.

Slowly, as if drawn by a magnet, they lean close. But before their lips can touch Mal and Inara step into the common room, arguing furiously over pet dander.

The anger Simon felt at his parent’s refusal to believe something was wrong with River pales in comparison to being interrupted at this very moment.

TBC

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Liked it? Hated it? Have some constructive criticism? Love to hear it!

Each character will appear in this series of stories, some more than others.

This type of story/tense is new for me, and no, once this is done I will not be writing in this horrible tense ever again!