Setting: during or after the series, but before the comic and BDM. Disclaimer: all things Firefly/Serenity are the property of Whedon et al. I’m not making any money off this. Just playing with the toys. Written for the Firefly Friday challenge redux #7. Prompt: fairy tales

“Once upon a time, there was this big ol’ bear and he came along-”

“A bear?”

“Yes, bear. May I continue?”

“Dahng rahn. By all means.”

“Thank-you. Now, there was this big ol’ bear and he came along-”

“What was his name?”

“What?”

“His name. Everythin’s got a name. Bet it’s somethin’ shiny and strong. What was his?”

“Uh...This Big Bear. Now, there was This Big Bear and he came along-”

“That’s a dumb name fer a bear.”

“This from a grown man with a girl’s name?”

“Hey, I ain’t no girl. I’ll show ya, little man, I’ll show ya just how not girl I am.”

“No, please. Husband, continue with your story.”

“All right. Now there was this bear named This Big Bear and he came along-”

“Technically speaking, bears don’t have names. They are just animals. And since they are incapable of speech or more sophisticated forms of communication, they are unable to address themselves as anything.”

“Fine. My mistake, Mr. Top-3%-of-the-class. Now, there’s this big ol’ bear and he came along-”

“Well, spiritually speaking, Man was instructed by God to name all the creatures. So to give an animal a personal name isn’t beyond the realm of reason.”

“Let’s just call him George, shall we? Now, there’s this bear named George and he came along-”

“Ya might want to rethink this course of action.”

“The piece de resistance. Of course. What is it now? The bear isn’t all that big. The bear is really a cross-dressing goat pretending to be a bear. It’s not a bear at all. What possible change of course should we make now?”

“Yer fairy storytelling listener isn’t listenin’. She’s asleep.”

“Well...that’s the best thing I’ve heard yet. I might actually be able to finish this thing without the interruptions. Now, there was this big ol’ bear and he came along-”

End

translation: Dahng rahn - of course