BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

TONYAHUQT03

Adventures in Babysitting: Simon
Sunday, July 2, 2006

It's the good Doctor's turn to watch Wash and Zoe's triplets, who also have the chicken pox. Pooor Simon.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3279    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Simon took the thermometer out of Gabe’s mouth. He read the temperature then examined the small dots on his body. “Yep…it’s Varicella.” He said as he swatted Mally’s hand from starching his pox. “Varwhatta?” Wash asked befuddled. “Varicella…chicken pox.” “Ohh chicken pox right.” Wash said still not knowing what chicken pox is. Simon shook his head. He pulled out a small bottle of lotion. “It’s a common childhood disease caused by the varicella-zoster virus it starts with conjunctival and catarrhal symptoms, moderate fever and then characteristic spots appearing in two or three waves, mainly on the body and head rather than the hands and becoming itchy raw pox, small open sores which heal mostly without scarring...” “Doctor.” Zoë interrupted him. “What does all this mean?” “Basically it’s a rash.” Simon rubbed some lotion on Gabe. “Try not to scratch.” “But, it itches…” Gabe whined. “Scratch my back.” He said to his sister. “If you scratch my foot.” Gabe turned around so that Amina could scratch his back and she stuck out her foot so he could do the same for her. Mally was rubbing against the side of the infirmary bed. “Stop scratching you three. They can get infected if you scratch too much.” Simon pulled Amina off of Gabe and sat Mally back on the bed. “Have you and Wash had the chicken pox before?” Simon swatted Mally’s hand away from his chest. “Until today I ain’t never heard of chicken pox.” Wash said. “I’m beginning to itch. Honey do I have any red dots on me?” Wash pulled down the collar of his shirt. “How long will they be like this?” Zoë totally ignored Wash who was scratching just as much as the children. “A few days. A week at the most. But, Zoë, Wash if you two haven’t had the chicken pox I advise you to have limited contact with the triplets until the pox scab over. They are highly contagious right now and adult Varicella can be bad, deadly even.” “Deadly?” Wash scratch. “Honey did you check?” Still ignored Wash, “Doctor they’re our children, how do you expect us to have limited contact?” “I don’t know. But, we should make sure that they have limited access to the crew. I don’t want an epidemic on the ship. I know River and I both were vaccinated for Varicella when we were younger. I’m most certain that Inara was also…”

“Zoë…you ready?” Mal peeked into the infirmary. “Captain, stay away.” Simon ordered. “You ordering me on my ship?” Mal noticed that Mally and Gabe where rubbing against each other and Amina was turning around in circles on the floor. “What’s with them?” “They have Vericella.” “Verwhatta?” Simon took a deep breath. “Chicken pox.” “Still at a lost here Doctor.” Mal started to scratch. “I take it from that you never had the chicken pox.” “Uh…no.” Mally got a hold of one of Simon’s scalpels and was about to take that to his brother when Simon snatched it away from him. “What are you doing?” “I’m cutting these ruttin dots off him.” Mally scratched his neck furiously. “You can’t cut them out Mally. Stop scratching.” “But they itchhhhh.” “The more you scratch. The more they will itch.” “But it feels soooo good.” Mally was now leaning against the counter rubbing the sides of it. “Captain, you and Jayne may have to do the drop.” Zoë picked up Amina off the floor and sat her back on the bed. “I need you on this drop.” “The kids are sick sir.” ”I can see that, but the good doctor will take good care of them.” Mal scratched his chest. “Besides we’ll only be a few hours at most.” Jayne came and joined them in the infirmary. “Lou just waved us, Mal. He’s waiting for the goods.” He noticed that everyone was scratching except for Simon and Zoë. “Why ya’ll itching?” “The triplets have Vericella.” “Huh?” “Chicken pox.” “They made a pack with chickens?” “How do you even understand the English language?” Jayne went in further into the infirmary to examine the triplets himself. “Jayne I wouldn’t get too close. They’re highly contagious right now.” Simon warned. “Awe hell, they got the dots. I had that when I was a critter. That ain’t nothin’.” “So you had Vericella?” “If that’s your prissy word for the dots then yeah, I had ‘em.” Jayne scratched Amina’s back for her. “There you go, gongzhu better?” “Xiexie, Janie.” “We got a time table people. I would love to stay here and scratch all day, but we got a job to do. Zoë, Jayne.” “Sir.” “Zoë, they’ll be fine. Simon you’ll look after my Godchildren while we’re gone?” Mal didn’t give Simon a chance to answer. “Good. Let’s move.” “Momma you leaving us?” Amina put on her biggest puppy dog eye face on. “But we’re sick and Poppa don’t sing the feel better song right. He always messes up the words.” Zoë smiled and kissed her daughter. “I’ll sing it to you when I get back. I promise.” “Wo ai ni. Gan hui.” “I will.” Zoë followed Mal and Jayne out of the infirmary. “Well that’s my queue to leave.” “Wash, where are you going?” “I didn’t tell you? I’ve uh…I gotta help Kaylee out with something…with the ship.” “Didn’t Kaylee and River go with Inara?” “Did I say Kaylee, I meant the Shepherd.” “Are you trying to abandon your sick children?” “Abandon…that’s such a strong word…I wouldn’t say abandon cause I would never abandon them. They’re my pride and joy…” Wash scratched his leg. “I just don’t do, sick. That’s Zoë’s department. You heard Amina. I mess up the feel better song.” He scratched his side. “Wash.” Mal said over the comm “I’m gonna need you to pick up some supplies in town and fuel up Serenity.” “Mashang.” Wash hit the comm. “Well Doc seems that I have a real excuse now.” Wash quickly fled the room. Simon just stared at the scratching children. “Great I’m stuck with babysitting.” Simon picked up Gabe from off the floor. “You’re really going to have to stop scratching…all of you.” Wash came back into the room. “Before I go here.” He handed him a piece of paper. “What’s this?” “It’s uh a list of things, when watching my xiaotianshi, whom I love and cherish with all my heart.” “I’m a doctor. I don’t think I need a list to watch the triplets.” Wash laughed. “Ah…so young, so naïve. Take the list Doctor. ” “Poppa you leaving too?” Mally asked scratching his face. “Yeah, I gotta get some things and fuel up Serenity.” “Bring us something shiny back?” Gabe asked. “Ain’t I shiny enough?” “No.” Gabe said flatly. “I need some paint, Poppa.” Amina and Mally where rubbing their backs together. “Ok. Be good for Simon.” “Seriously Doc, read the list, breath the list, live the list.” Wash left Simon along with three scratching children.

**

“Dr. Simon can you make it stop itching?” Mally was getting frustrated. “Yeah, don’t you got a shot for this?” Gabe had taken Simon’s pen and was using that as a back scratchier. “Cause you always giving us shots.” “You’re going to a have to wait it out. I promise the itching will last for a few days.” “A few days. That’s forever.” Amina was rolling around on the floor again trying to relieve her itching. Simon put the list in his pocket. “Come on follow me.” Like little scratching ducks the children followed Simon out of the infirmary and into the kitchen. Simon rummaged through the cupboards. “Found it.” “What?” Amina asked. She was using chopsticks now to scratch her back, while her brothers were unitizing the chairs. “Oatmeal.” “I ain’t hungry. I’m itchhhyyy.” She whined. “It’s not for you to eat. It’s for you to take a bath in.” “We took a bath yesterday. We gotta take another?” Mally asked. “Yes. The oatmeal will help stop the itching.” Simon took the chop sticks from Amina’s hand. “Hey.” “You have to stop scratching.” “But the boys are still scratching…” She protested. “Tattle tail.” Mally retorted. “Am not.” “Are too.” “Well you’re a ben mao hou pigu.” “I know you are but what am I.” “Well you smell like three day old yang yiwan.” “I’m rubber you’re glue what every you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.” “Zhizhi dajia anjing.” Simon ordered. All three of the kids stop what they were doing. “Now, this is what we are going to do. Amina, you’re going to stop using foul language. Malcolm you are going to be nice to your sister. And all of you are going to stop scratching. We are all going to go into your room, without bickering and take a nice warm oatmeal bath.” Simon’s voice was oddly calm. The children didn’t argue and followed him to their room. “Now sit on the bed quietly and with out scratching while I draw your bath.” Simon left them alone in silence. He was feeling very confident about himself at the moment. He went to the bathroom and drew the bath, he poured oatmeal all in the tub. When he returned to the room he found only Gabe in the room starching his back with one of his toy dinos. “Where’s your bother and sister?” ”I dunno.” “Stop starching.” Simon grabbed Gabe’s hand and took him into the bathroom. “Get in.” Gabe peered into the tube. “Ewe, that’s not bubbles.” “It’s oatmeal.” “Ewe. I’m not taking a bath in oatmeal.” “Gabriel please get in the tub. I promise that once you get in. You’ll feel better.” Gabe was a bit wary. “Ok. Promise I’ll feel better.” “Promise.” Gabe stripped down and got into the tub. “Now stay there while I find your brother and sister. Simon left the bathroom to search for the missing siblings. He heard a crash in the infirmary. Quickly Simon ran to the room. He noticed that the infirmary door was closed and Mally was making a mess inside. “Mally open the door.” Simon banged on the door. “NO!” “Malcolm Hoban Washburn open this door right now young man.” “NO! You didn’t ask nicely.” “Mally please open the door.” “No.” Mally started going through Simon’s cabinets. “Mally don’t touch that!” Simon tired to open the door again. “How did you lock it from the inside?” “I know the code.” ”There’s a code?” “Yeah, there’s a code for all the doors on Serenity.” Mally said as he smiled at Simon. Serenity started to shake. “Oh God no.” Simon made a mad dash to the bridge. “Oh God no.” Amina was at Serenity’s helm preparing her for take off. “Amina what are you doing?” Simon tired to say in his most calm and collective voice. “I want my Momma.” She clicked on another switch. “She’ll be back.” “I want her now.” She pulled back the steering wheel. Simon felt Serenity lurch. “Amina please. Just stop.” “You yelled at us.” She said in the most pathetic voice. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t of yelled. But, you aren’t allowed to fly the ship are you?” Simon stepped closer to her. “I ain’t taking her out of atmo. I just wantta find Momma.” Amina said matter of factly. Simon snatched her up from the pilot’s seat. Serenity shook hard. Simon sat in the pilot’s chair. “How do I make her stop doing that?” Simon started flipping switches and pushing buttons. “I wouldn’t push that if I was you.” “Push what?” Simon pushed a button and Serenity lurched forward. “Oh God. Oh dear God. Make it stop.” Simon got out of the chair and put Amina back in. “Make it stop.” Serenity was shaking badly. Amina flipped three switches and Serenity stopped moving. Simon grabbed her hand. “Come on, I have to check on your brother.” Simon returned to the infirmary with Amina in tow. He looked threw the window and Mally had fallen asleep on the floor. “Can you open the door?” Amina punched in a few numbers on the key pad to unlock the door. “It’s 12-23-46 Kaylee’s Poppa’s birthday.” Simon looked confused. “Oh.” He opened the door and entered the mess which was his infirmary. All of his instruments where thrown about, his cotton balls where scattered all over the counter. Simon buried his hands in his face. “Uh Doc, what happened here?” Wash entered the infirmary behind Simon and Amina. “Poppa!” Amina squealed. “Mally locked himself inside the infirmary.” Simon answered. “The code is 12-23-46 Kaylee’s father’s birthday.” “So, I am told.” “Doctor, is there a particular reason why my son is naked as the day he was born dripping wet and covered in oatmeal in the cargo bay?” Gabe who now has a towel wrapped around him came from behind Wash. “I got all pruney.” He showed Simon is white wrinkled hands. “And did you move Serenity cause she’s all turned about?” Simon just backed up slowly and out of the infirmary. “I’m never having children.” He muttered to himself. “Never.”

**

Simon plopped down on the sofa in the commons room. It had taken him four hours to re organized and sterilized the infirmary. “Oh, honey you look awful.” Kaylee said came into the commons room along with River. She sat beside Simon. “Tough day.” Simon just turned and looked at Kaylee. “They’re little monsters…I thought…I’m never having children.” River just shook her head. “Number 6, 12, and 1 on the list. You should of followed the list.” Simon gave River the same look that he gave Kaylee. Wash, Zoë and the children joined them in the commons room. “Doctor, the kids have something to tell you.” Zoë pushed them forward. “Sorry, Dr. Simon.” They said in unison. Amina handed him a card. “We all signed it.” Simon looked at his “Sorry” card. It was a rather nice card. “Thank you.” “Give Simon, River, and Kaylee snuggles and tell the good night.” Wash told the children. They all complied and gave them snuggles and headed off to bed with their mother. Wash pulled a wrinkled piece of paper out of his pocket. “I found this in the bottom of your oatmeal water.” He handed him the list. “I told you to read the list, breath the list, live the list not to give it a bath in oatmeal water.” Simon took the wrinkled paper and starred at it hard. “So that’s why there is oatmeal in the engine room.” Kaylee said. Wash took a deep breath. “I’ll help you clean it out.” Kaylee and Wash left leaving River and Simon alone. River got up. “You’re such a boob.” She pranced away towards her room. Simon was still sitting on the couch trying to read the water logged list. “I’m never having children.” He mumbled to himself.

*** Chinese Translations gongzhu princess xiexie thank you Wo ai ni. Gan hui. I love you. Hurry back Mashang right away xiaotianshi little angels ben mao hou pigu stupid hairy monkey butt yang yiwan goat testicles Zhizhi dajia anjing stop it, quiet all of you

My poor niece Aayliah has the chicken pox. She looks all pitiful covered in calamine lotion. And before she got sick, she started my car up, because I was taking too long to get in the car, so this story is losely based on my days spent watching her. She's six.

COMMENTS

Tuesday, July 4, 2006 7:04 AM

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE


You gotta love the 3 magic switches!!

Thursday, March 8, 2007 6:02 PM

LAMBYTOES


Why does noone read the list!? You'd think that they would learn!


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