Disclaimer; They’re Joss’s toys and I just borrowed them to play with.

Rating: NC15, for adult language, angst,

Remarks: Post “Objects In Space”, pre BDM. Final story in my "Faith" trilogy, and following immediately after my story “Raping Serenity”. Part of a long Jaylee story arc. If you object to this pairing, consider it AU or read something else. To read the backstories, click on my name above.

Italics may represent emphasis or internal dialog.

Feedback: Sincerely appreciated when civilly offered. (Author does tricks for nice feedback…)

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

Faith, Love and Serenity

Chapter Four

In the galley, Shepherd Book is ladling out generous bowls of savory rabbit stew, as Zoë passes them over the counter to Simon for distribution. Across the table, Wash, in an appallingly garish green and orange flowered shirt, claps his hands together with glee.

“I can’t believe how great this smells!”

“That’s ‘cause you ain’t the one cooked it, little man,” Jayne points out sarcastically.

“Hey now! I can cook.”

Everybody turns and stares pointedly at the pilot. There is deafening silence.

“Okay.” Wash backpedals. “So maybe I’m no master chef but…”

Zoë smiles lovingly at her husband. “Face it, baby, you can’t boil water.”

Jayne smirks. “From all the racket I hear goin’ on over in your bunk, somebody’s sure as hell heatin’ up somethin’!”

Multiple voices scold simultaneously, “Jayne!”

The others have taken their seats and begun the meal by the time Kaylee finally joins them, sliding silently into the empty chair beside Jayne. She looks like hell, pale and shaky.

Jayne takes one look at her and shakes his head. “Here, girl, take mine. I’ll git me another bowl.” The merc slides his half-eaten bowl of stew down in front of Kaylee. “It’s real toothsome. Be good for ya.”

Mal just shakes his head in puzzlement, seeing his muscle-bound hired gun fussing over the girl like an orphaned lamb. Even those previously aware of Jayne and Kaylee’s involvement have never seen the big man so solicitous of her welfare as he has been since rescuing her from Jed Kurtz.

Jayne sits back down with more stew and Kaylee just stares at the bowl before her. “Come on, baby girl.” He pleads and actually picks up the spoon and begins to feed the stew to her.

“Kaylee, ya gotta eat, now. You ain’t gonna have enough energy to piss soon enough, you go on this way.”

Again, the complaining chorus, “Jayne!”

“What? Well, she ain’t!”

He gets a few spoonfuls in her while everyone surreptitiously watches the process and Kaylee finally takes the spoon away from him and starts to feed herself. When she finishes, she has a little color back in her cheeks. She looks up from the bowl and smiles sweetly at Jayne and then at the preacher.

“This is real good, Shepherd. Thanks.”

There’s an audible sigh of relief from the rest of the crew.

After dwindling and tasteless fare, the huge pot of stew has been a delicious blessing and everyone has seconds except Kaylee, who just finishes Jayne’s first bowl, and Jayne, who eats four helpings.

According to the schedule, it’s Kaylee’s night to wash up the dishes, but Zoë offers instead. “You go on, get some rest. And remember what I told you about findin’ a haven when you can.”

The tall woman glances across the table to where her husband is telling some stupid joke and smiles knowingly. “Any woman who gets Jayne Cobb fussin’ over her like an old mother hen get points in my book. Open up to him, child. Trust me, Kaylee, that man loves you.”

The dark-eyed girl looks over the counter to where Jayne sits with his chair tilted back, hands interlaced behind his head, listening to Wash’s tale. “Yeah, he does…” She wanders over to Jayne and leans her head against his, sips an arm around his neck.

Softly. “How ‘bout we turn in early tonight?”

He’s initially surprised, then a smile crosses his handsome face. “Sure, Kaylee. That’s a good idea. We can turn in now.”

The big man stands up and follows Kaylee out of the galley, grinning from ear to ear.

Mal turns and glances after the two of them, and then just shakes his head. “You know, there’s just something downright unsettling about them two bein’… whatever it is they’re bein’.”

++++

When they reach the door to Jayne's bunk, he kicks the chute in and slides down the ladder, then reaches up and clasps his big hands around Kaylee's slender waist as she's on her way down. She pulls the chute closed after her and turns into him, her face against his chest. For a brief moment, they stand, arms wound around one another.

"Lord, I didn't realize I was so tired…" she mumbles against him. "Come on an' lay down, then. I'll just hold ya and we can snuggle or whatever you feel like." He nuzzles her hair and feels her melt against him, then sits her down on his bunk and kneels to unlace her boots and slip them off.

"Sox off, too?"

"Yeah, an' thanks…" Once he's done, Kaylee lies down, curled on her side, just watching him.

"Guess I better take time t'get all this stuff put up, come tomorrow." Jayne kicks a pile of clothing out of the way and sits down on a crate to remove his own boots. That accomplished, he dials down the lighting and climbs over her, curling around her, his back to the bulkhead and his knees tucked in behind hers.

"How come your hair always smells so good? Even when you been workin' up under the engine all day, you smell like flowers." He presses his face to the silky mass tumbling over the nape of her neck and a low, contented rumble eases out of him.

Kaylee takes the arm he's got draped over her hip and draws it across her ribcage, under her breasts, where it reaches almost around her body, and she cups her own hand over his. It's almost like she's folded up inside of his bulk.

"You comfortable, bao bei?" he asks. "Ain't layin' on your hair or nothin', am I?"

"Uhn-uh. You feel good. Real warm."

He gently kisses her ear and nibbles the side of her neck and she sighs and wiggles back more tightly against his big body, finding comfort in his heat and mass. "Ya know," Kaylee muses softly, "I think tonight was the first time we ever just up and told everyone we was goin' to bed. Cap'n didn't say a word, acted like he know’d all along we was bunkin' together, and all this time we been sneakin' around and fearin' how he'd take it. How do you suppose he figured it out?"

Jayne hesitates, then admits, "I told him, baby girl.” He feels her tense up.

“Told him when we got back from that first ore run and found the ship all tore up an' you gone."

"See, li'l Crazy was sayin' them hún dàns was plannin' to move the gear off-world by nightfall, and Mal was mad as hell and all set to go after 'em. But when I looked at the tracks out in front of the ship, I realized somebody else had you and I was fit to be tied."

The mercenary pushes himself up on one elbow and Kaylee rolls onto her back so she can study his face as he tells her about what happened. His eyes darken as he recalls his rage and fear and she can see the struggle within him over what to tell her.

"Go on…" she prompts, hesitantly.

"Well, like I said, Mal wanted us t'get all armed up and go after Serenity's parts afore they got gone but weren't no way I could abide what was likely t'happen to you." He traces her cheek tenderly with his forefinger.

Guess I best tell her all of it… "So I told him. Told him about us and that I loved you and you loved me. Said I was goin’ after ya."

"Don't imagine he took that any too well."

Jayne looks away. "Nope. He didn't."

"Matter of fact, he ordered me t'go with 'em. I guess he was figurin' we'd come after you once we had the parts back. But I felt every minute that xiong meng de kuang ren had you, you was in imminent danger."

He takes a deep breath and steps off the cliff.

"I figured that if I wasn’t on Mal’s crew any more, he couldn’t order me around and so I quit. I had to come after you, Kaylee."

Kaylee's eyes flash wide and she sits up abruptly, glancing wildly around the small cabin, her breath rushing out of her as if she's been punched. "You did what? You quit? You quit the crew?" She's stunned, furious, horrified.

A sudden realization strikes her. "So that's why your gear's all bagged up and the Girls packed away. I knew your bunk was awful messy but I been in such a fog I ain't thought about why."

Her look is accusatory, filled with betrayal. It feels like someone’s just ripped her heart out.

"So when was ya gonna tell me, Jayne? Huh? Were you just gonna clear out and leave me to find out after the fact?"

"Kaylee, Kaylee, it wasn't like that." He tries to take her into his arms and she pounds his chest with her balled-up fists as sobs rip out of her.

"What about us, Jayne? You quit Serenity, there ain't no 'Us'. Was it all just a fay-fay d'pian? How could you do this, you lyin’ bastard?”

"Gorrammit, girl, hold yer fire and give a man a chance to explain!" He gently restrains her pummeling fists and gets right up in her face.

"Ain't I always told you I'd give up anything for you? Mal ordered me to go with him, Kaylee. Only way I could come for you up on that mountain was to quit, tell Mal to fuck off. He like ta shot me right then, bull-headed as he is, but Wash and the Shepherd stepped in, said they'd give him cover so's I could go."

He's shaking as hard as she is. "Baby girl, don't you see? I had to choose you, no matter what it meant in the long run. Only way I could live with myself was to do everything in my power to make sure you was safe. I had to do it on faith, trustin' whatever brought you into my life wasn't gonna part us yet."

Jayne cups her face between his big hands and makes her look up at him.

"It like to broke my heart, that night up on that mountain, knowin' how you'd been treated and thinkin' it might be the last night I'd ever lay myself down beside you…" He thumbs away the tears trickling down her cheeks, ignoring those that gather in his own eyes.

"Kaylee-girl, I love you. Have for a long, long time, even before I realized what I was feelin'."

He locks eyes with her, willing her to see the intensity of his feelings for her. Behind their stormy blue-gray depths, lightening flashes.

Kaylee hesitates a long while, shivering in his grasp. "I know you do, Jayne, an' I love you, too." Her voice quavers. "You just git me real confused, is all." She looks down and makes herself ask the question she fears to have answered.

"You leavin' or not?" Her voice is barely audible.

The big man rests his hand gently on her thigh and sighs long and deep before continuing. "I figured once we got you back here and we'd both rested up, Mal'd want me off the boat, so I got all my gear packed up and hauled it up that gorram ladder. Lot more stuff'n I came on board with, for sure.”

“Had it all piled out in the corridor and Cap'n comes along and tells me to put it all back, says he still needs a merc and I ain't off the crew. Said I traded him back his mechanic for that mule I was wantin', so I could stay."

Kaylee looks up at the big man, her lower lip trembling and her lashes bright with tears. "You're stayin'? For sure?"

"Less'n Mal decides to blow my ass out th' airlock, then I'm stayin'. Was what I was tryin' to tell ya all along…"

The mechanic launches herself at the merc, her arms thrown round his neck in a bear hug.

"Uhh, Kaylee… gotta let me breathe…" he gasps out.

"Oh lord, I'm sorry." She loosens her strangle hold and clasps his face as he just did hers, palms bracketing his strong, whiskered jaw.

"I'm such an idgit, Jayne."

"Yeah," he agrees, "but you're my idgit. 'Sides, yer beautiful and I love you. You make a haven for my soul, Kaylee."

"Funny you'd say that. Zoë used the exact same expression earlier today when we was talkin'. Said everybody needs a haven and that you'd be mine if I'd just let ya."

"Never figured to hear somethin that poetical comin' outta Zoë's mouth, but it's true, li'l girl. I'd like to be a haven for ya, like you are for me. It’s somethin’ me an’ Shepherd’s been talkin’ about."

He studies her face, tucks her hair back out of her eyes, and leans toward her hesitantly. "Can I kiss ya, darlin'?" Kaylee beams at him. "I wish you would."

(To be continued…)