BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR

LEIASKY

Kinky
Saturday, July 15, 2006

The crew's reaction to finding Kaylee handcuffed to the engine. Sequel to 'Handcuffs'. S/K


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3745    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

For those of you who would like to see the prompt table I'm working from Go Here.

These stories are all standalone's unless otherwise noted.

Thanks to Tamsibling for the beta!

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This is the sequel to Handcuffs. Best to read that first.

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30.Kinky

River was actually the first to make it to the engine room, a smile already on her face by the time Simon glanced over his shoulder and noticed his little sister watching he and Kaylee – again.

Mal was only a few steps behind River, having leapt out of bed quickly after the announcement that there was an emergency in the engine room. He was nothing if not a concerned Captain. His eyes narrowed when he noticed the position in which Simon had Kaylee pressed up against the engine. Anger flared as he remembered the last time he’d caught Kaylee in such a position in this room.

He’d offered her a job back then.

He briefly considered taking it away today.

“Jayne, that wasn’t necessary,” Simon gritted out through clenched teeth. The need he felt earlier to be nice to the man, in hopes he would leave, completely gone.

“Sure it was. Got me a good laugh.”

Unfortunately for Simon, Kaylee’s continued attempts to keep her legs wrapped around his waist only furthered to shimmy his pants further down his hips.

“Stop. Moving,” Simon whispered urgently.

Kaylee caught his eyes and realized that part of her legs were now touching his bare skin and she nodded sheepishly, realizing that her fidgeting had caused the pants she’d unzipped to fall down his hips.

River floated past Jayne and took a few steps into the engine room, while Mal searched for something to say.

“Simon,” River cocked her head at her boob of a brother and then glanced around the room. “Dangerous in here. Why are you engaging in this act in a room that has so many sharp parts?”

Simon rolled his eyes at his sister and frowned at Kaylee. “I tried to tell her that!”

“Didn’t try hard enough.”

Jayne laughed deeply. “Oh, I’m sure he’s plenty –“

“Jayne!” Mal howled. “No need to finish that sentence.”

River gazed sadly at her brother and then apologetically at Kaylee. “Not anymore.”

“I clearly don’t want to be knowin’ how you know that, lil’ Albatross,” Mal said, glaring at the couple. He stepped around Jayne and even River to enter further into the room, his eyes catching a glint of metal where it shouldn’t really be.

“Kaylee –“

“Don’t say it, Cap,” Kaylee squeaked as she noticed his eyes focusing on her cuffed hand.

“Are you –“

“Captain, please,” Simon pleaded as Mal took another step toward them.

“Tian xiao de,” Mal muttered as he finally got a good view of the handcuffs. “Can’t you two keep the kinky sex-play confined to your bunks!”

“I wanted to,” Simon said, his voice low.

Mal met Kaylee’s eyes. “This is not a bedroom, despite how much you’d like to think of it as one. And the engine is certainly not a bed!” He turned burning eyes on Simon. “You, of all people, should know better than –“

“I know, Captain,” Simon said dejectedly. “Can you please just get the key? It’s on Kaylee’s workbench.”

“I’m of a mind to let you two squirm a bit.” Mal leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Don’t go punishin’ Simon, Cap’n,” Kaylee said meekly. “Was my fault –“

“I’m sure it was,” Mal interrupted and glanced over at Simon, careful to keep his gaze above the man’s neck. “Ever tell you how I met lil’ Kaylee here?”

Simon groaned. “Many times, Captain.”

“Good, best you don’t forget it.”

“Not any time soon, I assure you.”

“Hey doc, how about steppin’ away there, ya look mighty uncomfortable,” Jayne called, laughter clearly evident in his tone. “Ow!” Jayne barked as Inara hit him.

“This key?” River was beside the couple a moment later, dangling it just out of her brother’s reach.

“River –“

River cocked her head at Simon. “I don’t like doing dishes.”

To Kaylee, she said, “I don’t like cooking either.”

“Hey!” Mal cried when he realized what the genius was doing.

River glanced at the Captain. “Not my fault you didn’t think of it first.”

Mal scowled at her.

“No dishes,” Simon echoed, fully understanding his evil sister’s blackmailing intent.

“No cooking,” Kaylee repeated a forlorn look on her face, hoping River would just hurry.

“For a month.”

Simon gritted his teeth wanting just once to be able to get the upper hand on his psychic sister and embarrass her for a change. But before he could answer, River’s head swiveled toward him, a hint of a smile on her face. “Two months for that.”

Simon pointedly ignored Kaylee’s curious look and closed his eyes, muttering, “fine.”

River dropped the key into Simon’s outstretched hand and smiled happily. “See, that wasn’t too painful.”

Seemingly for the first time, Jayne noticed Kaylee’s arm was attached to the engine casing. “No way!” he cried. “How’d I miss that? Doc, you’re one kinky –“

Mal turned on his heel, annoyed with everyone now, and pushed Jayne out of the room, warning him with a stern look not to re-enter.

As Mal strode away and Inara and River made their way back to their bunks, Zoe waited patiently for the couple to re-arrange their clothes into a more appropriate position, keeping Jayne’s view blocked as well. While Kaylee checked out her girl for any damage, Simon moved to the entrance, safe from any more handcuffing tricks Kaylee might decide to pull. He counted his blessings that nothing in the engine room had tried to damage him.

He glanced nervously at Zoe, whose eyes continued to dart between Simon and the engine and he swallowed nervously as she slid a hand around his arm and pulled him firmly out of the room. Glancing quickly at Jayne, she leaned closer to Simon and whispered, loudly enough for Jayne to overhear, “Next time you want to play with something you find lying around, ask, hmm? I was lookin’ for those.”

Simon’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head and his jaw fell open as he stared at Zoe. Much to Zoe’s amusement Jayne’s expression was shockingly similar.

Zoe didn’t smile, simply continued, glancing at Jayne. “I was looking forward to cuffing Jayne down. He likes to be dominated, you see.” Zoe’s eyes raked down Jayne’s body and she allowed a small smile to spread across her face this time. “Never woulda guessed, huh doc?” Her head swiveled to Simon, whose expression had not changed. In fact, his mouth was flapping like a fish out of water, and Zoe now had a difficult time keeping a straight face. The man was an amazingly easy mark.

Zoe continued, still struggling to control laughing outright. “I wasn’t happy with having to change my plans at the last minute.” She reached around Simon and pushed Jayne toward the crew bunks. “Lets go, dear, we’ll play cowboys and Indians tonight instead. The cuffs are a little too worn for my taste.”

Once they’d gone, Simon shook his head in an effort to wipe the disgusted look off his face. “Oh, my god, I think I need to wash out my brain.”

“Hmm, honey?” Kaylee popped out of the engine room and kissed his cheek. “Didja say somethin’ about washin’?

“Yes. I need a shower. Badly. I feel really very dirty.” Simon still hadn’t been able to take his gaze away from where Zoe and Jayne had just gone.

Kaylee, oblivious to his distress, pressed herself up against him suggestively. “Well let’s go then. I’ll wash you and then you can wash me.”

“Yeah.” Simon said, distractedly, and allowed himself to be led to the showers, where he fully intended to wipe away the disgusting image Zoe had put into his mind by doing any and all kinky things Kaylee ever wanted to do – and then some.

END

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Chinese Translation:

Tian xiao de - in the name of all that's sacred

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COMMENTS

Saturday, July 15, 2006 5:02 AM

DRACONUS


I love it! Very funny. Though the thought of Zoe and Jayne will have me srubbing my head for a month.

Saturday, July 15, 2006 7:19 AM

FRELLINGBLONDE


*snerk!* Poor, poor Simon and Kaylee. And HEE to Zoe giving Jayne a taste of his own medicine.

...She WAS kidding, right? ;-P

Now, about Simon and Kaylee's shower...

Saturday, July 15, 2006 7:27 AM

NUTLUCK


Cute

Saturday, July 15, 2006 7:31 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS


Anger flared as he remembered the last time he’d caught Kaylee in such a position in this room.
He’d offered her a job back then.
He briefly considered taking it away today.
-BWAHAHAHAHAHA !!!

“This key?” River was beside the couple a moment later, dangling it just out of her brother’s reach.
“River –“
River cocked her head at Simon. “I don’t like doing dishes.”
To Kaylee, she said, “I don’t like cooking either.”
-Haha what a stinkin' brat

“Next time you want to play with something you find lying around, ask, hmm? I was lookin’ for those.”
-Spectacular, as was the rest of the exchange involving Jayne and her.

Saturday, July 15, 2006 8:18 AM

MORDSITH


Okay *giggles* that was funny.

Saturday, July 15, 2006 10:37 AM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Ya know...even if Zoe was even partially telling the truth, it was still rutting hilarious what she did to allow some payback for Simon against Jayne:D

And River was definitely was in fine form with her blackmailing of Simon and Kaylee...definitely doing the little sister routine perfectly;)

BEB

Saturday, July 15, 2006 11:01 AM

TAMSIBLING


You know what the best part is ... Simon was right! They did get caught and it ended badly ... but we have to ask - would he do it again? I'm thinking, if Kaylee keeps batting those eyelashes, he'll do just about anything!

And Zoe getting back at Jayne - Bwhahahaha! It's about times someone gave him a taste of his very crude medicine and Zoe is just the woman for the job - but only in kidding ... not for real ... seriously ... we don't want Wash rolling over in his grave here!

And of course, Kaylee is eager just to try something else ... of course, now that Simon needs to displace that very disturbing image from his head, hmmmm .... I wonder ... yes, I agree with FrellingBlonde - onto the shower!

I know you've said you've already done one, but what's an extra shower fic among friends??!?!?! :o)

Saturday, July 15, 2006 2:39 PM

THEHEROOFWILLIAMTOWN


Really liked River doing her usual style of being lucid enough to blackmail yet still being crazy as well, great stuff.

Saturday, July 15, 2006 10:20 PM

LEIGHKOHL


What a hilarious follow up!!! Kaylee trally is goign to be the death of Simon, and I am sure he will enjoy every minute of it! My favorite part of the story-
>“Stop. Moving,” Simon whispered urgently.<

Just the image of Kaylee and Simon in that particular position-hysterical! I could completely picture this in my head!
>Anger flared as he remembered the last time he’d caught Kaylee in such a position in this room.
He’d offered her a job back then.
He briefly considered taking it away today.<
You know I LMAO when I first read this, nice call back to Out of Gas!
But I think my favorite thing about this whole story is that Simon and Kaylee are not deterred from their intimate activities, they dive right back in!
>“Yeah.” Simon said, distractedly, and allowed himself to be led to the showers, where he fully intended to wipe away the disgusting image Zoe had put into his mind by doing any and all kinky things Kaylee ever wanted to do – and then some.<
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Loved it!

Sunday, July 16, 2006 2:25 AM

BLACKBEANIE


Shower?

Sunday, July 16, 2006 7:18 AM

LEIASKY


Yes, since so many of you asked about seeing the shower, I'm working on that next. :)

And yes, Zoe was kidding. . . Simon is such an easy mark though, he believed it.

Monday, July 17, 2006 6:10 AM

KAYNARA


River gazed sadly at her brother and then apologetically at Kaylee. “Not anymore.”

love that line! poor kaylee lol.

Simon gritted his teeth wanting just once to be able to get the upper hand on his psychic sister and embarrass her for a change.

-now that i'd like to see! she sooo deserves a little payback.

i wonder if jayne is gonna develop a little zoe crush out of this....

Wednesday, September 6, 2006 7:02 PM

BIGBADJAYNE


That was about the funniest thing I've read...and to quote my namesake, at least about Zoe/Jayne, and handcuffs..
I could stand to hear a little more....

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 11:03 AM

JANAFAE


Oh thank the GODS that was a joke... I may have needed to wash my brain out as well. And I don't have the time right now because I'm at school! I wouldn't have been able to concentrate on my next class!!! *shakes fist* you silly silly Leiasky!

Thursday, August 9, 2007 2:24 PM

CBSTEVE


You get more erotic and kinkier every time I read some of your things. Kaylee is just the little sexpot! Poor Simon, trying to be all proper like and he has this sex maniac on his hands. Jayne as a peeping Tom doesn't surprise me but what I'm getting more of a picture here is Mal as a proper man,too, more like Simon than he'd care to admit.


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