BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

TONYAHUQT03

Adventures in Babysitting: Ensign Kelly
Friday, July 21, 2006

Another tale of babysitting. The Alliance has a crack at watching Zoe and Wash's triplets.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2053    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Somehow the triplets had all manage to squeeze into the co pilot’s chair together. Wash stood hovering over top of them. They where all looking at the navigation system. “Okay.” Wash punched a few buttons. “We have to get cargo to Beaumonde and we’re parked on Erza.” “I know…Poppa…” Mally squealed. “Wait, son I’m not finished…Now there is fed stations parked right out in sectors 5 and 9. Also we’re low on fuel cells. Now, Mally what would be the quickest, safest, most efficient route to take?” Mally slumped down, Gabe and Amina sat there thinking a moment. “Can we re-fuel at Persephone?” Amina asked. “Nope, we don’t have the coin. We got to make what fuel cells we got to make ‘em stretch.” Wash could see the wheels turning in his children’s heads as they thought of the right path to take. Wash loved his “Poppa-triplets” time. This was the time he could teach them everything his father taught him and more. Wash also used this time to teach his children how to survive if anything should happen to him or Zoë. He took comfort knowing that his children could fly Serenity safely if need be. At least he knew they could fly her better than Mal could any day. “Here.” Gabe plotted out some coordinates on the screen. “This way we avoid the purple bellies and still have enough to find a re-fueling station.” Wash checked Gabe’s coordinates. The route that Gabe had mapped out wasn’t the one that Wash had thought of, Gabe’s route would actually be quicker and burn less fuel cells. “My huihuang.” Wash kissed Gabe on the forehead. Gabe beamed. “Ok my other equally talented genius children; Mally this one is for you. We got paid 750 platinum for a job. Badger’s cut is 20%; you have to give everyone 10% of what’s left. How much coin would go into the ships savings?” Mally pulled out his fingers and started counting in his head. “Take your time son. Now Poppa’s princess this one is for you. What would Poppa do if the left thruster was out and we had to do a lazy Ahmed?” Amina was about to answer when Wash stopped her. “And, Kaylee wasn’t in the engine room.” “But, Poppa that ain’t fair. Kaylee’s always in the engine room. Why can’t I get an easy one like Mally?” “Just what if Kaylee was all tied up and couldn’t get to the engine room.” “Why would Kaylee be tied up?” “Because, she didn’t eat all her vegetables.” “That ain’t a real reason to tie someone up Poppa.” “It’s a hypothetical question, Amina.” “What’s a hypo-the-kettel question?” “It’s a pretend question.” Gabe answered. “Right, Gabe.” “Oh.” The proximately alarm went off. Wash quickly returned to his chair to make sure they weren’t heading for a moon. “This is Alliance Cruiser Athena, Firefly transport ship, you are ordered to release control of your helm.” A voice over the comm said. “Poppa?” Gabe asked. “What’s going on?” “Mal, I need you on the bridge xianzai! Mal quickly entered the bridge. “Wash what are you playing at up here?” Mal stared through Serenity's front window. “zi dangfu.” The triplets giggled. Mal turned and looked at them. Before Mal could hit the comm to get Zoë on the bridge she stood over she children. “Sir?” “Zoë get the suits prep the doc and his sis are going on a little walk. Wash bring me up.” Wash pulled up the video screen for Mal. “This is Captain Reynolds. What seems to be the problem today?” He gave them his biggest false smile. “Please release the control of your helm and be prepared for docking so this can be handled in a more official manner Captain.” “We’re on a tight schedule; I just want to know what this is all about.” “We are doing a routine spot check Captain. Please prepare your ship for docking.” Mal looked at the triplets who where sitting on the edge of their seats. “Wash go ahead.” Mal bent down so that he was eye level to the children. “Ok, in less than five minutes Serenity is gonna be crawling with Feds. Now, you know what to do when the feds come around?” “Don’t say nuttin.” “And what else.” “We ain’t ever heard of Dr. Simon or River.” “Don’t let’em get the best of us.” Mal kissed each on them on the head. “That’s my godchildren.” He took Mally and Gabe by the hand and Wash carried Amina down to the cargo bay. They were joined by the rest of the crew. “Cap’n what do you think they want?” Kaylee asked. “I wish I could tell you.” Mal held the boys’ hand a little tighter. Zoë opened the airlock doors and 5 Alliance officers boarded Serenity. “Which one of you is Captain Reynolds?” Commander Evens asked. “I am. Can I ask you why you stopped my ship?” Mal stepped forward. Zoë took the boys from him. “Captain you and your ship took off from Boros rather quickly.” “Is it against the law to be in a hurry?” The commander walked slowly around the crew eyeing each one of them. “No Captain Reynolds. It’s not a crime. But, it is a crime however to transfer stolen goods.” Mal tried to look shocked. “Stolen goods? You must have the wrong ship. We’re a family run operation.” The commander didn’t look impressed. “Is this all your people?” “Yes.” He stalked around the crew some more. He stopped when he came to PuppyBoy who was lying by the Shepherd’s foot. “Captain Reynolds are you aware that you do not have the mandatory registration markings on the bow?” Mal looked shocked. “Really? Well, we haven’t been through a check point in a while.” PuppyBoy sniffed the commander’s boot, then growled at him. “Captain do you have paper’s for this animal?” “What for the dog?” “Yes, captain. All animals are to have papers showing their up to date vaccinations if they are traveling interplanetary.” Commander Evens stepped back form PuppyBoy. “Also do you have your ship documents?” Zoë handed him the papers and grabbed PuppyBoy by the collar. Mally took control of his dog. “Your papers are out of date also.” Commander Evens walked back over to Mal. “Do you want to know what I think this operation is Captain Reynolds?” “What?” “I think that this ship is for smuggling.” “Like I said before, this is a family run operation.” “There was a flag on your ship a few years back. Said that Firefly-class, believed to be carrying two fugitives, a brother and a sister.” “Really? My gosh.” “Yes really Captain. You wouldn’t know anything about the whereabouts of those fugitives?” “Commander I would not know.” Mal smiled. “I don’t like your attitude Captain Reynolds. We will continue our discussion in a more official capacity. Search the ship; see what else we can find.” Two of the Alliance officers walked more into the ship. Commander Evens bent down to talk to Mally and Gabe. “How would you two like to see the inside of a real ship? An Alliance cruiser?” Both boys looked up to their mother. “Do we have to?” Gabe whined. “I don’t wanna see that piece of fei hou qiu.” The commander looked shocked. “Well what colorful vocabulary these children seemed to have.” He waved for an ensign to come over. “Ensign Kelly take the children to interrogation room 5.” Zoë stepped protectively in front of the boys. “They have nothing to do with this.” She said coldly. “If we find anything illegal on this ship not only can you loose this…ship you can loose your children. So I suggest that you cooperate or you will be bound for interfering with an official investigation.” Zoë didn’t back down. “Honey…” Wash shifted Amina in his arms. “Let’s think about this. We don’t have anything to hide. It won’t do them any good if their mother is in prison.” “Momma?” Amina jumped from Wash’s arms to Zoë. “We’ll be ok. Don’t want you to get in trouble.” Zoë smiled. Amina slid down to the ground. “Smart kid.” Commander Evens replied. “Ensign, the children.” “It’s ok kids go with the nice Alliance ensign. We’ve be right here waiting ok.” Wash reassured his kids. “Leave the animal.” The children reluctantly followed the ensign into the cruiser. As they where walking through the hallways of the Alliance ship all three of them where making mental notes of their surroundings. “Poppa and Momma didn’t give them the list.” Gabe noted. Mally and Amina both smiled devilishly. They reached the interrogation room. There was only two chairs the boys fought over one and Amina sat in the other. Ensign Kelly stood guard at the door. Mally pushed Gabe out the chair. He fell to the floor hard. “Owe, I’m telling Momma on you.” He protested as the joined his sister in the other chair. “I don’t care.” Mally stuck out his tongue. Ensign Kelly laughed to himself at the children’s argument. “Mally stop being mean.” Amina protested. “Shut up.” Mally retorted. Amina jumped out of her chair and ran over and punched Mally in the arm. “ben shuiniu tunbu.” Mally rubbed his arm. “I’m telling.” “Tattle tale.” “Am not.” “Are too. Tattle tale. Tattle tale. Tattle tale. Tattle tale.” Amina had her hands on her hips swaying back and forth. “Shut up, Amina.” “You shut up.” “No you shut up.” “Ni zuiba guan.” Ensign Kelly grabbed both Amina and Mally’s arms and sat them down with Gabe. “I don’t want another sound out of any of you or I’ll throw you in the dungeon. Dong ma?” Ensign Kelly sat in the other chair across from the triplets. They were quiet for a short while. “There’s no dungeon on a cruiser.” Gabe stated. “You’re just trying to scare us.” Ensign Kelly smiled a bit. “Maybe, but I still don’t want any talking.” “How come you got to wear that hat?” Amina asked. “It’s part of my uniform. And what part of quiet didn’t you understand? No talking.” They all just ignored him. “I’m tired of sitting.” Mally got up and walked around. “Once Momma and Poppa took us to a carnival when we was on Persephone.” “So.” Ensign Kelly was getting uneasy. “Sit back down please.” They ignored him. Amina was picking at his clothes. Gabe continued his story. “There was this man and he had an accordion and a monkey. And if you gave him two bits. He would play a song and the monkey would dance.” Ensign Kelly was growing impatient. “So what’s the point of your story?” Gabe started laughing, “The monkey had a hat just like yours.” Ensign Kelly smirked. “Ha ha very funny.” He noticed that Mally was standing in the corner. “What are you doing?” “Nothing.” Mally replied sweetly. “Yes you are.” Ensign Kelly tired to get up but his hand was handcuff to the back of the chair. “What the…” Amina started laughing. Ensign Kelly was not amused. “That’s not funny. Now give me the key.” “Now give me the key.” Amina repeated. “Stop your childless games and give me the key.” “Stop your childless games and give me the key.” Exacerbated Ensign Kelly yelled. “Give me the gorramn key little girl or I’ll give you a thrashing.” Amina stepped back and started to cry. “I’m sorry. Just give me the key back.” He moved a bit dragging the chair along with him. “What kind of gun is this?” Mally asked. Ensign Kelly checked his belt, his hand gun was missing. “Now put that down. That’s not for little boys.” Mally rolled his eyes. He took the clip out and placed each bullet on the table. “Nine rounds, that’s all you got?” Gabe laughed. “That’s a girlie gun.” Mally continued dismembering the Ensign’s gun. He got up, dragging the chair along with him and snatched the gun away from Mally. “It’s not nice to snatch.” “Little boys shouldn’t play with guns.” Ensign Kelly struggled to get the gun back together with one hand cuffed to his chair. “That ain’t a gun.” Mally noted. “Vera’s a gun. I got toys bigger than that.” “What’s a Vera?” The boys just looked at each other. “Vera a Callahan full-bore auto lock. She has a customized trigger, double-cartridge thorough gauge.” Mally told him. “That’s a gun.” Gabe added in. Ensign Kelly looked around the room. “Where’s the girl?” Both boys shrugged their shoulders. “Dajia pihua diyu.” The boys laughed. Right then Commander Evans stepped into the room with Amina. “Ensign Kelly language. That is no way for an Alliance officer to speak in front of children.” Ensign Kelly straighten up. “Sorry, sir.” “And why was this little girl wondering around the ship crying unescorted?” “Sir, I didn’t realize that she was missing.” “Why are you handcuff to that chair?” “Sir, I can explain….” ”Is that your weapon lying on the table? Ensign Kelly what were you doing with these children. I wanted you to watch them. This is very disappointing. If you can not handle a small task as watching children then we are going to have to discuss your status.” “Mr. Alliance Sir.” Amina said in between tears. “I want my Momma.” She gave him her biggest puppy dog face. “Come along children.” The children followed Commander Evans out. “Sir!” Ensign Kelly yelled out. Commander Evans turned around. “Yes.” “You wouldn’t happen to have a handcuff key?” Commander Evans gave him his key. “Go to my office and wait for me their.” “Yes sir.” “Children, time to take you home.” **

The children hung on to their parents. “Momma the mean Alliance man yelled at Amina and made her cry. And he used naughty words.” Gabe told his mother. Commander Evans stood in front of Serenity’s crew. “I’m sorry for the behavior of my subordinate. He will be reprimanded accordingly.” “And he should be. Letting this girl wonder about on your ship. She could of gotten hurt. And using fowl language in front of these little angels. I am shocked and dismayed. I was lead to believe that the Alliance was a clean and virtuous cause and not in the business of debauching young innocent angels such as these. ” “I apologize for any inconvenience this may have cause you.” Commander Evans handed Mal some papers. Mal looked at them. “What are these?” “Your fines Captain. You have ninety days to pay them.” Commander Evans left Serenity. Mal looked at his god children and started to laugh. “Little angel’s these three. Well Zoë why don’t you go get the Doctor and River. Wash we got a schedule to keep. Rest of you got work to be done.” Mal handed Amina his fines. “Here you go princess some papers for you to draw on.” “Thank you Goddaddy.” Amina skipped away in the direction of her mother. Mal noticed something budging in Mally’s pocket. He held out his hand. Mally handed him a gun. Mally just smiled. “It’s the Commander.” Mal puffed out his chest. “That’s my boy. Mally, Gabe I think you two deserve a treat.” The three of them headed off towards the kitchen.

Chinese translations:

huihuang brilliant boy xianzai now zi dangfu son of a b*tch fei hou qiu flying monkey balls ben shuiniu tunbu stupid buffalo butt Ni zuiba guan shut your mouths Dajia pihua diyu shit all to hell

COMMENTS

Saturday, July 22, 2006 3:33 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Still brilliant...wherever it's posted;)

BEB

Sunday, July 23, 2006 10:28 AM

KIZZIECSTARS


tiny little pick pockets! i love it!


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