Arthur Dent ran his hand over the dusty halls of the Heart of Gold. The first ship ever to be powered by Improbability. He hadn't seen it in years. The once sparkling white interior was now grimy and green with the dust of ages. It was now, roughly, seventeen times the age of entire Universe, but if anyone had told Arthur this at the moment, he would have most likely told him/her/it to go bugger off somewhere, he was having a flashback. While one of the trio of Homo-Sapiens left in this particular Galaxy had remembrances of the time he had spent on this ship with Trillian, Zaphod, Marvin, and Ford; Ford Prefect was out looking for the wine cache he had hidden there several million years in the future. Well, in all actuality, it was filled with bottles of Ol' Janx Spirit, Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, and other beverages that would make you feel like your brain had been trampled by a stampeding herd of Arcturan Mega-Puppies, monstorus beasts with slavering jaws, cute button noses, and feet the size of Arthur's head. Arthur ran his hanmd over the counsel, and it, all of a sudden, did nothing at all. After another moment, it decided to continue to do a whold lot of nothing, to which it gave a hundred percent effort. After another moment, it decided to suck it up and do something, to which it replied, go bugger off, I'm having a flashback. To which the computer made a rasberry at the offending part of its A.I., and went to sulk in a corner alone. In an effort to make it happy, another part of the computer suddenly winked on, but only half-heartedly so as to offend niether party. And, heres where the computer decided to make amends with itself and do something, as it was now in this for the long run. Eddie said cheerily, "Hi there, good to see ya, its been too long!" There, that would do. Even cheerful robots would get a mite gloomy when they were all alone for a few hundred billion years. "Hello there, Eddie," said Arthur softly. "Hows it been?" "Oh, super-duper, really it has. I've been waiting for somebody to show up, and I have just scads of things to tell you. Would you like some tea?" Arthur nodded, yes, and went over to the resident Nutri-o-matic. Soon, he had a steaming cup of what was almost, but entirely unlike, tea. He sipped it. He walked over to the console, and carefully put the cup down on it. At that moment, Ford came in, carrying several bottles in. It had been Ford who had found the thing, and, he having been low on drinks at the time, decided to see if his drinks were still there. If they had aged or younged was yet to be known. Trillian and Random had elected to not come, And Arthur had elected to tag along. And then several things happened at once. A: Ford jumped of a rather large spider currently sitting on Arthur's shoulder, and then, B: Arthur began to brush at it to make it leave, while they both, C: danced about like loons, and then, D:, Arthur knocked over his cup of almost not tea onto the console, and then Eddie, E: Eddiesaid "There seems to be a malfunction here guys, and I'm just loving it to say that someone has engaged the Improbabbility Drive, so hang on!" Arthur, who had managed to get the spider off of him (who had splatered rather huffily on the floor at this indignity), said, "Oh bugger." Ford, who was rather busy dancing around like a loon, stopped for a moment to say, "Oh, Belgium." Then, he went back to dancing like a loon. The ship lurched forward, and, in the space of a forever minus a few millionths of a nothingth, they were in another dimension. *** The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, a most extraordinary book, who was recently sold by Infini-Dim Enterprises to a small mouse and his partner mouse for an exorbinately small sum of money (roughly the amount of money that would be needed to buy, say a small chicken mcnugget meal with an extra packet of ketchup for your fries), has this to say on other Dimensions: Bugger them. Never bother with them if you can help it. The higher dimension's biengs are most likely to disagree with you for being some idiot from a lower dimension, and the beings from lower dimensions are more likely to ingest you for being some idiot from a higher dimension. One thing to remember about biengs from other dimensions: They are almost always taller than you. If you are, however, from a Higher or Lower Dimension, then see pages 190,456,782 through 190,456,788 and pages 123,456,789 through 674, 789, 102, respectively. *** Aboard the ship Serenity, the respective nine crew were running with their respective non-existent tails between their respective legs. Thhey were running from a bunch of Reaver's that, had they known what one looked like, looked very much like a Arcturin Mega-Shark ( the planet of Arcturus, for those who do not know, is a rather small planet that has a low gravity rate, so the resident beasties had to grow to a stupidly large size to keep from drifting off-planet. Due to this, the planet of Arcturus has drifted off its orbit around its sun, dragging along several dozen moons with it. It currently is drifting through the Telermaqusgurgnaghdishwater system, and the resident inhabitants, plates, forks, spoons, and the like, are currently running in several directions, although Dishes and Spoons are said to have started to run away together.) Suddenly, a large, White ship appeared out of nowhere, and suddenly all Hell broke loose. The Reaver ship turned into a rather angry space-goose, and Serenity turned pink on the outside and bottle green within. Inside, it was a mite stranger. Jayne, who was in the kitchen, suddenly turned almost but entirely into a Hoovoloo, as he was niether a shade of blue, being more on the order of Turquoise, and was not super-intelligent, being more on the order of a man-ape-gone-wrong (thing). Mal, who was with Zoe and Wash in the cockpit, turned into a parrot, while the other two turned two giant brown E's, and were rapidly going through both colors and letters. Book suddenly turned bottle green and set out to find himself. Inara didn't change at all, which was highly improbable. Simon, Kaylee, and River were in the cargo bay when this happened, and it is there that the most interesting things happened. Kaylee called out, "Simon, I'm scared," and she had every right to be, as the bay had just filled up with clear yellow chocolate, and she had just grown an extra leg, which then proceded to fuse with the other six into a flipper. "Well, join the club," said Simon snappishly, but he had a right to be snappish, as his arms had just turned into sixty four tentacles, and then the fourth, twelfth, fifty-first, and sixtyith took off on him. "Well, we'd best do something," he said through his beak. River floated serenly through, her gills matching nicely with her blue skin. Simon's stray tentacles tryed to latch onto his face, and he tried to beat them off as Kaylee finished turning into a Dolphin. It is good to know that, when this was over, everthing was just chipper for everyone. Except the space-goose. ***

Like it? Hate it? Is this blasphemy to either or both of these two great writers and satirists? Please comment!!!

-Danny