BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT

Dessert
Saturday, August 12, 2006

first try at fanfic. First try at posting. Let's see if it's readable


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2763    RATING: 4    SERIES: FIREFLY

Dinner was almost finished on Serenity.

Simon was at the foot of the table, feeding River, trying to keep her hair out of the soup. Kaylee and Shepard Book, the default chefs, sat across from each other in the center. Wash, Jayne and Zoey were clustered around Mal, telling war stories. Zoey was talking,” So I threw a grenade at him, like this--” and she pitched a hard roll at Wash, who fumbled it. It hit both of his hands. He almost caught it, but then it slipped out,and dropped into his lap. It bounced out, hit his foot. “ “He handled it almost that badly as well. Didn’t realize I hadn’t pulled the pin--” Wash punted it and it sailed into the hatchway, almost hitting Inara, who was entering.

“ Hi. May I join you? I brought dessert.”

Not only did she look gorgeous in one of her long, elegant dresses, but she was carrying the most decadent looking thing anyone had seen. It had started out as a white cake, perhaps, but had evolved through encounters with fresh fruit, ice cream, syrup, whipped cream, cherries and nuts . An awe-struck , reverent “ Ooohhh!, “ escaped Kaylee’s lips. Suddenly , there was an empty chair next to Mal, and Book was producing clean plates and tools.

Mal smiled. “ Didn’t realize your autonomy and privacy agreement covered food storage.”

“ Of course it does. My shuttle has a small refrigeration compartment for supplies while I’m detached. Mostly luxuries and deserts. You know, cherries and grapes, whipped cream and chocolate syrup.” There was a small gulping noise from Jayne and his eyes bugged out.

Book hesitated in his scooping, slicing, serving. “ And what is your motivation for this gift , my dear?”

“ Just thanks for all of your friendship, and help lately.”

Simon mumbled something about a hamster, and Mal said, “ Of course. And what else?”

“ Well, I do want to ask a small favor. How busy is your schedule right now? Any pressing crime?”

“ The next thing up is a shipment to be moved off of New Adelaide.”

“ Oh, yes, more wobble headed dolls. Are these athletic figures, or little animals for the back windows of vehicles?”

“Hey, these are very hi-class forgery copies of genuine Earth-That-Was antiquities.”

“I’m sure they are. Could they be delayed a few days? A highly recommended new client on Oberon sent me a wave requesting a special weekend. Oberon is on the way to New Adelaide. I would be glad to pay a reasonable delay bonus if I hold up your business.”

“ I don’t think that will be necessary. But Oberon’s a Core world, isn’t it?”

Zooey spoke up. “ Mal, could Wash and I get a three day pass? Haven’t had any down time in a while.”

Kaylee too. “ Can I land and go shopping , Captain?”

And even Book. “There are many fine booksellers and libraries there, Captain. Might I-- “

Mal gestured. “ This wholesale desertion must be prevented. Inara may land, she’s got independent business. But the ship ain’t got no call there. The rest of us will remain aboard. This yumminess will have to satisfy you all. Wash, plot a course after you finish, and lock it in, if you please. We’ll leave there Monday morning, subject to Inara’s needs.”

River said, “ I love ice cream.” And buried her face in her plate.

COMMENTS

Saturday, August 12, 2006 9:37 AM

AMDOBELL


I just know something is going to go wrong because it never goes smooth. Oh and the name is Zoe, not Zooey or Zoey. Love the sound of that cake! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Saturday, August 12, 2006 11:14 AM

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT


The way I've see Zoe spelled is with the 2 little dots over the O, or maybe the E-- and I resist special characters. So I tried to spell it phonetically, and I see I did it 2 different ways. But I don't like Zoe- , that should be pronounced to rhyme with 'go", or "Woe", and her name is pronounced with the Y sound...

Saturday, August 12, 2006 7:51 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Uh....is there a reason why River seems to be stoned or drunk out of her gourd? Cuz I can only wonder at her rather out of character table manners (hair in soup, face buried into her plate, etc.) ya know;)

And yeah...Zoe spells her name with an "e" accented by what is called an "umlaut." Since such an accent is pretty much impossible to replicate here...we mainly just let it be an unaccented "e" instead:)

Great stuff here anyway...though I do have to admit that having a beta reader might help with smoothing out some minor issues with spelling and flow of words here;)

BEB

Sunday, August 13, 2006 6:52 AM

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT


I didn't think River was that far out- Wash and "Zoe" joke about her putting her hair in the soup, and the ice cream seemed like a nice punch line.
I didn't mention a setting- this is before the BDM, when a lot of her behavior was kinda unbalanced.
She's barely in the scene anyway, I just threw that bit in at the end, while revising, to give her a presence.


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