Disclaimers: Everything belongs to Joss, except for one character of my creation.

**Mousing over the Chinese should reveal the English translations on most browsers. If not, translations follow the story. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Simon saw the infirmary lights on when he got up, and he entered, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He saw Mal’s shirt on the exam table. “Hmm,” he mused, picking it up and draping it over one arm. River entered in her pajamas, and her eyes immediately went to the shirt. “Captain’s,” he said. “He must’ve been down here last night. Hope he’s feeling alright.” “Feeling great,” River said, smiling. “I’m glad, mei-mei ,” Simon said absently, “but I was talking about Captain Reynolds.” “Me too.” River stepped up and took the shirt from Simon, carried it into the passenger dorm, and dropped it in front of Alex’s door. “River, no,” Simon said, going after her. That’s not the captain’s bunk. That’s Alex’s room. You know, Alex? The nurse?” He picked up the shirt and started for the stairs. River snatched it back from him, still smiling, and dropped it in front of Alex’s door again, then stood with her head cocked toward the room as though she were listening to something. “River!” Simon started to pull her away, then froze as he heard sounds coming from within. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he heard the bed creak, and then a masculine groan. He looked at River, his eyes wide; she was still smiling. “Even better now,” she said. Kaylee came down from the cargo bay and beamed at him as only Kaylee could do at such an early hour. “Mornin’ sunshine,” she greeted him, then frowned as she saw his open-mouthed expression. “Wha—?” Simon shushed her and gestured toward Alex’s room. Kaylee spied the shirt on the floor. “Ain’t that the captain’s?” she asked in a whisper, and then her eyes flew open. Simon nodded and steered her into the common area. “It was in the infirmary—River seems to think he’s in there.” He nodded back toward the rooms. Kaylee clapped a hand over her mouth just as Jayne came down the steps. “Kaylee, what about that—“ he began, before Kaylee and Simon put warning fingers to their lips. “What?” he asked, confused. He looked past them and saw Mal’s shirt. “Ain’t that Mal’s?” Kaylee nodded, a smile playing at her mouth despite her best efforts to squelch it. Jayne cocked his head. “That’s the nurse’s room, ain’t it?” He looked from Kaylee to Simon, who were both attempting to keep straight faces. Comprehension dawned. “Aw, you gotta be ruttin’ kiddin’ me!” he exclaimed. “You’re playin’ with me, Doc! Ain’t ya?” “As much as it would please me, Jayne, I assure you I am not,” Simon responded with a snort of laughter. The grin started at one corner of Jayne’s mouth and quickly spread over his face. “Oh, ho,” he chuckled, shaking his head and turning for the stairs. “This day’s gonna be alright!” He headed up toward the dining area. Kaylee composed herself as best she could. “I came down here to tell you breakfast is ready,” she said to Simon. “Shepard’s cookin’, so it oughta be good.” She turned to follow Jayne up the stairs, her eyes still full of mirth. Simon hesitated for a moment. “River already went up,” Kaylee said, reading him, and he accompanied her then. The four of them were too quiet as they gathered around the table. Zoë and Wash looked from one to the other of them, realizing something was up. Book caught it, too, and frowned curiously. No one spoke. After a bit, Mal ascended from the passenger area. “Mornin’,” Kaylee called to him cheerfully. He grunted a reply and headed into the galley. Jayne lifted his head and sniffed the air dramatically. “Smells like sex in here,” he growled. Kaylee covered her mouth again, and Simon did a perfect spit-take into his bowl. Mal froze in mid-stride, his back to them. Wash elbowed Zoë and leaned into her. “Must be my musky manliness can’t even be showered away these days,” he whispered, loud enough for the others to hear. “I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout you,” Jayne said dismissively. Zoë and Wash exchanged glances, then looked down the table at Simon and Kaylee, who were stifling grins and trying not to look at each other. “Oh,” Zoë said, thinking she understood. “Good. It’s ‘bout time.” She nodded approvingly. “Oh, no. No!” Kaylee and Simon spoke at once, tripping over each other in their haste for denial as they realized what she was thinking. “Not us!” They flushed, embarrassed, then looked at Book, who was staring at them. They dropped their eyes. “Then—” Zoë began, confused. She looked to Wash and Book, and they both shrugged. “Not me, I assure you,” Book said. They could hear Mal stirring his coffee, still out of sight. Zoë’s eyes widened. “Captain?” she mouthed disbelievingly. Jayne grinned. “We have a winner!” Zoë and Wash exchanged a look again, eyebrows raised. “Who?” Wash mouthed the question, spreading his hands, palms up. Simon jerked a thumb toward the steps leading to the passenger dorm. Wash frowned, thinking, and then the light came on, and he and Zoë spoke in unison. “The nurse?” The others nodded. Wash grinned and raised his coffee cup in an exaggerated toast. “ Jah yoh , Mal!” he stage-whispered, and they clinked cups together. Mal came into the dining area carrying his breakfast and coffee. They hastily lowered their cups and pretended to be very busy eating. He shot a guarded look around the table and sat down. It was quiet—too quiet. Jayne finally spoke. “So...everyone sleep well last night?” No one responded. “I know I did,” he continued. “Yep, slept like a baby. All alone…in my bunk.” He looked down the table at Mal, who was eating and attempting to disregard them all. “How ‘bout you, Cap’n? You look well-rested this morning.” Mal looked up sharply just as Kaylee and Simon started to lose it again. He whirled on them, and then Book said, “Good morning, Alex.” They all turned as she came up the stairs. “Morning,” she responded as she entered the galley. She dished up her food and sat down nonchalantly. “So…anybody got any interesting plans for the day?” Wash inquired conversationally. “How interestin’ can it be on a ship deep in space with nowhere to go?” Jayne grumbled in return. “’Course, there are exceptions….” He ogled Alex, who caught the look and raised an eyebrow at him in return. “Uh, Captain,” Simon began, willing himself to keep a straight face. “I found your shirt in the infirmary this morning. You feeling okay?” Mal looked uneasy, but he stayed collected. “Yeah,” he answered. “I, uh—I got a thing—“ he pointed to his chest, “A sore, uh—thing, like you to take a look at it today if you will.” “Sure.” Simon nodded. River suddenly rose from her chair and walked first to Alex, then around the table to Mal, and sniffed both of their heads. “They smell the same,” she pronounced, setting off another round of furtive looks and titters. Mal flung his napkin to the table in aggravation. Alex sized up the grade-school conduct and pursed her lips. “Hey,” Jayne said. “I got a ‘thing’ needs lookin’ at too. Maybe the nurse could look at my ‘thing’ while the doc looks at Mal’s.” Mal started to speak, but Alex was on her feet before he got a word out. She walked around the table and stepped behind Jayne, placing her hands on his shoulders as if to massage them. Jayne leered gleefully. “Sure, Jayne, I’ll be happy to look at your…thing,” she told him, smiling as she rubbed his shoulders. He leaned back into her hands, grinning. “But a look is all you’re gonna get, ‘cause, frankly,” she leaned over to look him in the eye and nodded toward Mal, “I already fucked his brains out twice and I got nothin’ left for you.” Jayne’s jaw dropped, and the table erupted. Mal muttered something unintelligible in Chinese. She went to him and patted his shoulder. “In case you haven’t figured it out—they all know,” she said into his ear. “So you might as well just learn how to live with being the one who got lucky last night.” She walked out and down the stairs, leaving the room in an uproar. “I believe I like her!” Wash said to Zoë, and she swatted him with her napkin. Mal looked around the table and waited for everyone to settle. He didn’t say a word, just stared them down. Finally, it got quiet. He continued to stare wordlessly until they were squirming in their seats. “Sir?” Zoë finally ventured. He said nothing. “Mal?” Jayne this time. Silence. “Captain...what would you like to have happen right now?” Simon ventured. Mal shook his head slowly. “What would I like?” he echoed. The others waited. “I’m actually hopin’ if I sit here long enough you’ll all just spontaneously combust and disappear.” He looked down at his plate again and finished his breakfast in silence. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CHINESE: mei-mei = little sister Jah yoh = Way to go ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go to Chapter 18.

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