Disclaimers: Everything belongs to Joss, except for one character of my creation. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The time to go was almost upon Alex. Mal was up and out of his bunk early, saying he needed to get to the bridge and prepare for their imminent arrival on Zargon. She would be off the ship before the crew even sat down to breakfast. Alex made her way back to the passenger dorm and showered, dressed and gathered what few belongings she had into her worn canvas pack. Then she left her room to take a walk and say goodbye to Serenity, her old friend. She said farewell to Simon first, as he had been instructed to take River and disappear. She had not seen River since her meltdown the day before. Whether she had calmed on her own or Simon had her sedated somewhere Alex didn’t know, and did not want to. She strolled through the ship, taking it all in. She walked the catwalks in the cargo bay. She stroked the walls in the dining room, smiling at the stenciling Kaylee had done. She stood gazing into the lounge, where she and Mal had talked late into the night. She walked through the cockpit, where she had been with Wash when they saw the trouble going down at the post station. She looked into the engine room, where Kaylee performed her magic that kept them in the sky. She saved the infirmary for last. She spent long moments taking in the place she knew so well, the place where her past met the present. She put a hand on the exam table where Mal had first kissed her, and closed her eyes, reliving the moment. She let the stretcher down from the wall and opened her hidey-hole. She thumbed through her notes one last time, then put them back in and closed it up again. Then she went back to her room and sat down on the bed to wait for the ship to dock. The bed still smelled of Mal and her from the one night they had spent together there. She stretched out, resting her head on the pillow where he had slept. “Miss?” It was Book standing in the doorway. “It’s time.” Alex stood and donned her coat. She slung her pack over her shoulder, and Book picked up her nursing kit. She felt the ship set down as she walked up the stairs and through the cargo bay. The crew was gathering, but she didn’t see Mal. She wondered if he would see her off. She took her bag from the Shepard as the airlock opened and the ramp began to descend. Her heart was in her throat. The cold air hit her like a slap, and snow swirled into the bay, making her shiver. The coat she’d brought was not going to be nearly warm enough. She hugged Book and he leaned close to her. “Do well. I’ll be praying for you,” he said in her ear. “Thank you, Shepard,” she said, completely sincere in her gratitude. She felt like she needed all the prayers she could get. Zoë was next. She gripped her hand. She had never really been able to get a read on how Zoë felt about her; but now she squeezed her hand in return and smiled what seemed to be a genuine smile as she wished her good luck. Wash came to stand beside his wife, and Alex hugged him. He hugged her back warmly. “We’ll miss ya,” he said, and Alex believed him. She came to Jayne, who was grinning his lecherous grin. She reached to shake his hand, then gave him a quick hug. “Take care of that sore ‘thing’ of yours, Jayne,” she whispered to him, giving him a wink. The grin widened. Kaylee was at the end of the line. They embraced affectionately. “Take care of the captain,” Alex said to her. “Oh, and that other guy, too!” Kaylee nodded, her eyes moist. Alex turned around then and almost ran into Mal, who had come silently up behind her as she went down the line of crew. She dropped her bag and looked into his eyes; his expression was indiscernible. Her chest tightened. There was so much she longed to say to him, but the words were not there. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small slip of paper she had written on. Taking his hands in hers, she squeezed them and then pushed the paper into his palm. His fingers wrapped around it and took it from her grip. “Captain,” she said simply, holding his hands. “Get some sleep.” She leaned in to kiss his cheek; then changed her mind and kissed him on the lips. It was quick, a little awkward, but warm enough that she felt herself come apart a little inside. She gave his hands a squeeze, and he squeezed back. Then she felt the lump in her throat and the sting behind her eyes letting her know waterworks were imminent. Pulling herself abruptly away, she picked up her bag and turned quickly before he could see the tears. She strode swiftly down the ramp and into the frigid air and churning snow outside, handing off her belongings to the waiting guards. She looked back one time. He was standing in the entrance where she had left him, watching her go, his expression still unreadable. The others stood behind him in a row. The Captain and his crew. She turned again, the snow mingling with the tears on her cheeks, and allowed herself to be led away. She heard the whine of Serenity’s cargo ramp closing up behind her. She did not look back again. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go to Epilogue.

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