The fireworks exploded in all the colours of the rainbow, and even some that probably didn’t even have names. Shooting stars, rockets, clusters, bright lights filling the sky above them.

River clapped her hands in delight. “Oh, so pretty!” she said.

“Looks like they saved them up just for us,” Simon said to Kaylee.

“I think they did. What the Cap’n and Zoe and the others did for ‘em …” Kaylee shook her head. “Well, they’re grateful.”

Jayne took a pull on the jug and looked at Freya. “Where’s Mal?” he asked.

“Not sure,“ Freya said, taking a drink herself. “Around.”

“You two okay?”

“Shiny. Why?”

The big man shrugged. “Just seems to me like you’d normally be in each other’s pockets 'round about now. Partakin’ of some of this fine hospitality.”

Freya grinned. “We will. He’s probably talking business with someone.” She took another drink.

Jayne looked at her, her face all golden in the firelight. “You’re pretty,” he said suddenly.

“Why, thanks, Jayne,” Freya said, surprised.

“I mean, in the light ‘n’ all. How about me?” He lifted his chin, trying to look heroic.

Freya pretended to study him closely. “Jayne, you’re pretty too. In fact, you’re one of the prettiest men I know.”

Jayne looked at her. “So how about you and me getting some physical action under our belts?”

“Ain’t gonna happen, Jayne,” Freya said, sounding almost regretful.

“Aw, how come?”

“Because I love Mal, is why.”

“Well, I love Vera, but I ain’t only using her,” Jayne pointed out.

“I’m not a gun, Jayne.”

“Prettier’n Vera too.”

“I’m not sleeping with you, Jayne.”

He loomed forward at her a little. “Let you kiss me on the mouth,” he offered.

“And that’s a plus … how?”

“Aw, Frey. It ain’t fair.”

“That’s how it is, Jayne.”

“Well, guess I’ll just have to go back to dreamin’.”

“Dreaming what? And don’t leer at me.” She stood up. “I’m gonna find Mal.”

“Good luck,” the mercenary said. “If’n you don’t find him, my offer’s still open.”

She leaned over him, putting her hand on his shoulder and squeezing the muscles. “Tempting as that may be, don’t hold your breath.”

Freya moved off through the firelight, watching the people still dancing to the music, or taking a little time just to be together. She felt the tightness in her groin that indicated she knew how they felt, and smiled. Maybe if Mal wasn’t feeling too tired, maybe they could find a little corner themselves, take some time to reacquaint themselves with each other’s bodies …

Sounded like someone was already doing that, she realised. Distinct moans were coming from inside one of the cabins, and, fortified by the drink, she decided to take just a peek. She opened the door, just a notch.

Inside were two people, wrapped so completely in each other that a gun could have gone off and they wouldn’t have heard. The man, on top, was buried deeply in the woman, and she was moaning, clutching at his back with manicured hands, encouraging him to take her, lifting her hips up to his thrusts.

Freya smiled – that’s just how it should be, how she wanted it to be with … Mal. It was Mal. She could see the tattoo at the top of his thigh. Mal, making love to some woman, someone who … Inara. She’d said his name, and Freya knew it was Inara. Mal was inside Inara, something he said had never happened, would never happen, and here he was, thrusting into her, making her whimper, looking down into her face as he … the tension in his back and shoulders, his buttocks tight as he pushed into her one more time, then lifted his head as he released …

Freya stepped back, stumbling, turning in the firelight to see Jayne staring at her. She took one step, another, then ran, away from the light, away from the cabin, away from where every gasp and sigh was breaking her heart. Jayne looked into the doorway, and felt an anger building in him that threatened to burst from his chest. If he’d had his gun with him, he could have shot them both. Instead, slapping his hand uselessly at his bare thigh, he turned and followed Freya.

---

Mal struggled to open his eyes, realising by the lack of sound and vibration that he wasn’t on board Serenity, and from the weight on his arm that a woman was lying next to him. She sighed, and he half turned, expecting to see Freya next to him … “Tzao gao!” He sat up quickly, then realised he was naked. “Inara?”

Inara woke up, then sat up in shock at seeing Mal. “What … what happened?”

Mal grabbed his pants, holding them in front of himself. “I don’t know. Did we …”

Inara concentrated, feeling the stretching, the wetness still sliding out of her … “I think we did.”

“Wuh de ma!” Mal stood up, forcing his legs into his trousers.

She tried not to look at him, doing up the buttons, but the sight made her hot again, and she felt ashamed. “I … I don’t know what happened,” she said, standing up, unembarrassed by her own nakedness.

“Well it can’t happen again,” he said, pulling on his shirt, then his boots. “What if Freya saw?”

“She did,” Jayne said from the doorway, his face white with anger. “She saw you two lovebirds, then ran off. I just spent all night trying to find her.”

“Freya?” Mal took two steps forward, then found his path blocked by the big man. “Jayne –”

“No. You don’t Jayne me no longer. How the hell could you do this, Mal?”

“I … I don’t know. I was drinking –”

“Well, so was I. So was Freya. And we didn’t end up doin’ what you two did. Gorram it, Mal! You’re supposed to love her!”

“I know.” Mal was getting angry, mainly at himself. “I know.” He looked into Jayne’s face. “You say she ran?”

“Just as you two finished.” Jayne looked over at Inara, who was dressing quickly.

“I have to find her.”

Jayne put a big hand in the centre of Mal’s chest, pushing him backwards. “No. You don’t get to do that now. She’s hurting, and all ‘cause of you. You don’t get to find her.”

“Jayne –”

For answer Jayne hauled back one fist and let fly, hitting Mal on the side of the jaw, knocking him backwards onto their makeshift bed. “Like I said, you don’t get to look. I’ll find her, bring her back. Then I’m off your boat. And if she has any sense I’ll take Freya with me.”

---

Jayne found Freya sitting on a fallen tree, staring into the river, her face totally blank.

“Hey,” he said, sitting down next to her. She didn’t answer. “Been lookin’ all night for you,” he went on, careful to keep his face turned away. “Thought you mighta jumped in.”

“And miss the opportunity to kill someone?” Freya said, not joking.

“That hwoon-dahn deserves it.”

“How could he?” she whispered. “I don’t understand.”

“He’s a man, Frey. We ain’t to be trusted.”

“I thought he was.” Her voice was so quiet Jayne could hardly hear. “I thought I could trust him.”

Jayne looked at her, realised tears were streaming down her face, and he reached out, pulling her into his arms, just letting her cry into his shoulder. That hwoon-dahn …

---

“The herbs?” Inara repeated.

“They release the inhibitions,” Kara said, holding out a handful.

Inara took them, sniffed them. “They smell so sweet.”

“We use them to make the air pleasant, but if used in sufficient quantities they can break down any resistance. It’s usually under supervision, but …”

“It smells familiar.”

“Where you were, in that cabin, that’s where we keep them. In that quantity, even unburned … did anything happen?”

Inara blushed. “The captain and I … we …”

“You made love?”

“Yes.”

“And was it all you’d wished it to be?”

Inara’s thoughts went back before she could stop them, to him sliding the dress from her shoulders, taking possession of her … “It was …”

“I can see from your face. And did he enjoy it?”

Her mouth on him, feeling him growing, then guiding him into her, filling her, wrapping her legs around him, taking him deeply … “I …”

“It was the herbs.”

“But it shouldn’t have been me!” Inara protested. “He’s with Freya – that’s the person he should have done that …" His face, tense, purposeful, as he …

“It will wear off soon,” Kara said, putting her hand on the other woman’s arm. “Come. Sit.” She guided Inara back onto a sofa, making her sit. “It is difficult, I understand. But it will pass.” She stroked Inara’s hand, and the Companion felt a surge of need building in her.

“Kara –”

“Yes?”

“Touch me,” Inara pleaded.

The older woman shook her head. “No, Inara. You don’t want that. It’s just the herbs, still in your system.”

“But I do –”

“Inara, when I left the Guild, I didn’t leave the training behind. And this world … I know how you feel, but it isn’t real.”

“Isn’t it?” Inara asked, rubbing her hands together to try and get some warmth.

“And this Freya,” Kara said, interrupting her. “You want her?”

“Why would I –”

“Do you?”

Inara felt a thrill of need sweep through her groin. “She wouldn’t. I would offer to service her, but she –”

“That’s not what I asked. You think that you want her?”

“Oh, Kara, yes,” Inara groaned, leaning into her. “I want to feel her nakedness under my hands, to touch her. I want to ….” She couldn’t finish, trembling with the need, no longer able to differentiate between the false impulses still inside her and reality.

“And you? What do you want her to do to you?”

Inara was surprised. “Nothing. I … it wouldn’t be right. She loves Mal. She would never –”

“And yet you did with him.”

“It was the herbs,” Inara protested. “You said!”

“They helped. They helped him overcome his lack. But you … you still knew he wasn’t yours. And yet you didn’t try to stop.”

“I … No. I didn’t,” she admitted, feeling shame making her skin redden.

“Why did you?”

“Because I wanted him!” Inara said loudly, then clamped her hand to her mouth.

“That much?”

Inara nodded. “I’ve always wanted to know what he would be like. How he would … and when this happened, I … Oh, Kara, what have I done?”

Kara shook her head. “You may have lost them both, Inara. This is why Companion rules are so strict, particularly when it comes to relationships. You knew he wasn’t yours, and yet you took him to bed. He didn’t have the will, the ability to stop his body doing what it wanted, but you did. And still you took him. She may never forgive you, Inara.”

---

Freya stepped into the cargo bay, Jayne at her side. They paused, seeing Mal standing in the centre of the large space, for once seeming dwarfed by his own ship.

“Frey?” Jayne asked, looking at her. “You gonna be okay?”

Freya didn’t take her cold gaze off Mal. “I’ll be fine.”

“You want me to kill him, just say.”

“If I decide to do that, I’ll do it myself.”

Jayne nodded in total understanding, and walked away past Mal, his face like thunder, and headed up towards his bunk.

Freya walked slowly towards Mal, stopping when she was six feet from him.

“Freya …” Mal said.

“What?”

“Are you okay?”

“Okay?” Freya almost laughed. “You’re asking that?”

“I was worried when you didn’t come back.”

“Tough.” She didn’t sound emotional, but her belly was rolling with anger and sadness.

“I’m sorry,” Mal said.

“Sorry.”

“I … I don’t know why it happened. Or how. I’m just … sorry.”

“That’s not good enough.” Her voice was low. “How could you?”

“Freya, I’m so sorry.” He stepped forward but she retreated, keeping the same distance between them. “I love you.” He’d never said it before, only now she wasn’t listening.

“But you were with her. Inside her.” Now she sounded disgusted. “Anyone else I could almost forgive. But you promised me …” She couldn’t go on, closing her eyes to try and keep the tears back.

He reached out to touch her. “Frey –”

“No,” she said, pulling away. “Don’t. You don’t get to touch me anymore.”

“Frey –” His face anguished, he reached out again.

“No!” She punched him, letting loose such a powerhouse to his jaw that he went down, staying there, sorrow and confusion on his face. “I’m off this boat, Mal. You made your choice. You go to her.”

“I don’t want her,” Mal said, not touching the bright mark on his chin. “I want you.”

“Well you should have thought of that before you came inside her.” Her words, harsh as they were, didn’t slash at him half as much as the tears on her cheeks. She walked away from him, leaving him on the cargo bay floor.

---

“Freya.” Inara stepped down the ladder. “I have to speak to you.”

“I don’t want to talk. Nothing to say to you.” Freya continued packing her stuff into her bag.

“It wasn’t his fault, Freya.”

“I ain’t interested in hearing.”

Inara took her by the arm, turning her around. “Well you’re going to listen! Or are you going to hit me too?”

Freya looked down at her hand, and Inara let go. “Don’t tempt me.”

“Go on. Do it. You can’t make me feel any worse than I do already.”

Freya drew her arm back, ready to strike, but suddenly all strength seemed to leave her body. “Just go away, Inara.”

“He was drugged,” Inara insisted. “We both were.”

“Sure.”

“I’m serious,” Inara said. “Talk to Kara if you don’t believe me. It’s the herbs they use. They have a … an aphrodisiac effect. That, combined with the alcohol …” Inara swallowed, afraid of Freya’s reaction to what she was going to say next. “I seduced him, Freya.”

“You …” Freya stared at her, then struck out with the flat of her hand, catching Inara full on the cheek. She staggered back and fell onto the bunk.

“It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know what he was doing,” she said through a haze of pain.

“He still did it,” Freya hissed. “He still took you.”

“Because I made him. Freya, I’m sorry. I’ve always wanted to know … to know what he would have been like, to have him lie with me. Knowing you’re next to him every night. And the herbs and the wine … it was the excuse I needed. I didn’t want to stop myself.”

“That’s not –”

“And I wanted to hurt you,” Inara admitted on a rush.

“Hurt –” Freya stopped, astonished. “Why? What have I –?”

“You took him!” Inara said angrily. “You took him away from me!” She held her breath. “And because I wanted you too.” Inara was almost pleading. “I wanted to make love to you, to feel your body under my fingers, your pulse beating in my hand … you wouldn’t let me service you. And I so wanted to.” She shook her head, knowing it was the herbs that had made her want Freya this badly, but feeling it so strongly it made her groan.

Freya’s face was white. “So you took revenge by taking Mal?”

“I couldn’t have you, so I had him. Freya, I’m not trying to excuse what I did. Only explain. Without those influences, Mal would never … he loves you, Frey.”

“Don’t call me that. You don’t have the right anymore.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not enough.” Freya looked down at the bag on the table, and in an instant swept it to the floor in anger. “If I stay – and I don’t know … Jayne thinks I should go, and I more than half agree with him – then you can’t. I won’t have you here, Inara. Not knowing he’s been inside you.”

“Then I’ll leave.” Inara stood up, her face flushed red with the strike print. “I’ll go. Just stay with him. Forgive him. I’m not asking for forgiveness for me. Only for him. He’s tearing himself up inside.”

“And how do you think I feel?” Freya asked, letting all the pain show in her eyes.

“I think I broke your heart. But he didn’t. Please.”

“I … I don’t know.” Freya sat down, the contents of her bag littering the floor and Inara felt a surge of hope.

“I will go,” she promised. “Next planetfall. I’ll explain to the others.”

“No.”

“What?” For a moment Inara hoped she was being told to stay.

“Don’t tell them why,” Freya said instead. “It would break Kaylee’s heart too. Just go.” She stood up and walked past the Companion, climbing the ladder without another glance.

Inara stared after her, then fell back onto the bunk, tears streaming from her eyes, feeling the remnants of the herbs still, and pressing her hand between her thighs for some relief, some comfort. It gave her none.

---

“But why is she leaving?” Kaylee asked, grasping Simon’s hand tightly, tears on her cheeks. “Can’t you stop her, Cap’n?” She turned to Mal.

“Ain’t got the power, little Kaylee,” Mal said, gazing at Freya who sat at the dining table, her hands clasped in front of her, not looking at anyone.

“Freya,” Kaylee pleaded. “Speak to her. Make her stay.”

River stirred, her pale face troubled. “She has to go. Has to atone. To make it right,” she said quietly, her words ringing through the kitchen.

“What for?” Kaylee shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

“No need for you to,” Mal said. “‘Nara’s leaving, so’s Jayne, next planet we stop. That’s all there is.”

“Cap’n –”

“No, Kaylee. Now, you got work to do – best go do it.”

Kaylee looked as if she were about to argue, but Simon pulled her to her feet, guiding her out. The others followed until it was only Mal and Freya left.

“So.” Mal sat down opposite her. “Are you going to leave too? Go with Jayne?”

She looked up at him, and his heart contracted at the dead expression in her eyes. “I’ve not decided.”

“Don’t.” He reached out to take her hand. “If you leave me … Frey, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

She shook her head slowly. “I love you Mal. I can’t stop that. But I … at this moment in time I hate you too. For betraying me. All I held dear. All I believed in. And that isn’t going to go away.”

“I love you, Freya,” he insisted, squeezing her hand and feeling it lie lifeless in his own. “Believe me. If I could go back, change things … do you think I wouldn’t? If I’d known what I was doing –”

“Don’t.” All her pain was in that one word. “Don’t say it was those damn herbs. It’s just an excuse. You wanted her for so long … it was …” Freya took a deep breath, holding everything back in. “Jayne’s right – menfolk ain’t to be trusted.”

She stood up suddenly, drawing away from him, and he knew she’d come to a decision. It scared him to immobility which one it was.

---

As they stood in the cargo bay, waiting for Inara to come down, Kaylee couldn’t help it. She was crying softly, and Simon held her tightly in his arms. Footsteps above had them turning, but it was Freya. She came down the stairs, and smiled softly at the young mechanic. “She’s not leaving,” she said quietly.

“You spoke to her?” Kaylee asked, hope shining on her wet face.

“She’s staying,” Freya said again. “It’s best this way.”

“What … I don’t understand.” Suddenly Kaylee realised Freya had her bag in her hand. “What are you doing?”

“I’ll see you around, Kaylee,” Freya said, touching the girl on the cheek. “I’ll miss you.” Then she walked out of the cargo bay, joining Jayne who already stood in the sunlight of Persephone, out of Serenity, out of their lives.

“Cap’n?” Kaylee said, turning to Mal, her face confused, unhappy. “Where’s she going? Why’d you let her go?”

Mal didn’t say a word, just stared out into the sunshine, watching her leave. Then he turned away, and Kaylee caught a glimpse of his face, the pain and anger etched deeply into lines that weren’t there a few days ago, a loss in his eyes that ate at him. He strode past her, towards the infirmary.

Kaylee glanced up, seeing the Companion on the top catwalk. “‘Nara?”

The other woman shook her head, then ran back to her shuttle.

Kaylee stared, feeling like her life was being torn apart, not knowing what was going on. Even Simon’s sure grip wasn’t enough … her family was falling apart.

---

River sat up in her bed, her heart pounding, her thin nightgown drenched in sweat. No. No. The last image from her dream still sat in her mind: Freya, not too far in the future, hanging next to Jayne on some border moon, strung up together, their heels kicking … She swung her legs out of bed. She had to do something. This was not going to happen...

---

“It ain’t gonna happen, boys,” Mal said, his gun aimed squarely at the ringleader. “Now, it seems to me you have a choice. There’s a nice comfortable jail cell waiting for you, or you could do something really stupid like …”

The man opposite him drew his gun in a flash, firing at Mal. The bullet caught the wooden side of the wagon by Mal’s head.

“That,” Mal finished as he dropped behind the wagon.

As good as the outlaws were, Serenity’s crew were better, and in a very short time the opposition were stretched out on the ground, not moving.

Zoe moved out from behind the tree. “I don’t think they were listening to you, sir.”

“Nope, I’ve a notion you’re right.” Mal looked around. “Any casualities?”

“No sir.”

Jayne and Freya stepped into the clearing.

“Good. Best get this cleaned up, then.”

---

The fireworks were bright, and Kaylee clapped her hands. “Oh, they’re so pretty!” she exclaimed.

Inara smiled, walking amongst those people celebrating, then saw Mal talking to the leader of the township. She started towards him, but was surprised as River put herself in front of her. “River!” Inara smiled. “I thought you were staying on board.”

“Needed to talk to you,” the young girl said, taking Inara’s arm, leading her away from the captain.

“What about? Can’t it wait?”

“No.” River pulled her back towards the firelight.

“All right, sweetie. What’s so important?” the Companion asked.

“When … when will I be old enough to …” River paused, nodding towards a couple who were sitting a dance out, just enjoying each other’s company.

Inara looked where River indicated, and laughed. “That’s it?” she asked.

“It’s important!” River insisted.

Inara smiled. “Come on. I think it’s time you and I had a talk.”

“About sex?”

Inara stifled another chuckle. “About relationships, River. But not on an empty stomach.”

“Oh. Good.” River let Inara lead her towards one of the tables groaning with food. She glanced back just once, saw Mal shake hands with the older man then look around him. He saw someone and walked towards her.

Half an hour later River wandered through the dancers, and caught sight of Jayne cavorting with a girl whose long red hair was wrapped around his fingers. She smiled, then strolled to the door of one of the cabins. From inside she could hear noises, feel the heat of passion. A moment’s indecision and she opened the door just a little, peering inside. Two people, a man and a woman, wrapped in each other, naked bodies joined, so intensely within themselves that a gun going off next to them wouldn’t have penetrated. She could see the tattoo at the top of Mal’s right thigh, and hear the woman’s voice saying, “Oh, Mal. Mal!”

His body tensed and he looked into her eyes. “God, Freya …” The only time he called on any divine being anymore.

River smiled and closed the door carefully, so as not to disturb them, and went to join in the dance.