Disclaimers: Everything belongs to Joss, except for one character of my creation ----------------------------- **Mousing over the Chinese should reveal the English translations on most browsers. If not, translations follow the story. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Inara stayed in her shuttle all the first day and night back on the ship. The next morning, she opted to join the crew for breakfast. No matter her feelings for Mal, she wanted to spend as much time with the others as possible in the time she had remaining. She took a deep breath, held her head high, and walked down the stairs, through the cargo bay, and toward the dining area. As she passed through the common area, Mal suddenly emerged from the infirmary. They stopped in their tracks and just looked at each other. “Inara.” He seemed surprised to see her. “Mal,” she said softly. She felt like an awkward schoolgirl. “I, uh...I don’t know what to say.” Mal dropped his eyes and shuffled his feet. “Well, that surely makes two of us.” “How is she this morning?” He shrugged and looked back toward the infirmary. “The same.” Inara walked to the infirmary window and looked in at Alex on the exam table. She saw the slight rise of her belly under the blanket, and the hurt of the day before threatened to return. She attempted to push it away. Mal came to stand beside her. “Inara,” he said, the plea for forgiveness plain in his voice, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I—I didn’t plan for this to happen, you know.” Inara’s hurt was replaced by a sudden rush of anger. She looked him straight in the eye. “Did you plan for it not to?” He raised his eyebrows. “What...are you asking...? Are you asking me about—if I used...?” Inara stared at him. “That’s kinda personal, don’t you think?” He sounded defensive. “You didn’t, did you?” Her voice was soft again. He dropped his eyes. “No.” “Mal—“ He sighed deeply. “Inara, it just...happened...I—I...” he threw up his hands. “I know it was really bu zhu yi. Believe me, I know that now. But...most women...” he shrugged, “Most of the women I know take the shot—“ “Most of the women you know are professionals!” Inara interjected. “I just thought...I guess I didn’t think, is all. And, apparently, neither did she.” He stared into the infirmary, leaning against the window as if he didn’t have the energy to stand upright on his own. Inara suddenly wanted to put her arms around him, to tell him everything would be all right. At the same time, she wanted to slap him and tell him what a fool he was. “I just wish you’d been honest with me,” she whispered. “Right now that may be my biggest regret,” he sighed, his face still against the window. She watched him a moment longer. “I’m going up to breakfast,” she finally said. “Are you coming?” “I’ll be along,” he said, not moving. She left him there and walked up the stairs. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CHINESE: bu zhu yi = thoughtless ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go to Chapter 22.

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