Disclaimers: Everything belongs to Joss, except for one character of my creation ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mal wordlessly took the paper from Simon’s outstretched hand. Simon started back up the steps, then turned and looked back, his eyes offering help. Mal shook his head slowly, and Simon continued on. Mal stood, looking at the folded paper, and stepped to the infirmary entrance. He did not enter right away, but leaned against the wall, gazing in at the still form on the table, turning the paper over in his hands. Book was still inside. When he looked up and saw Mal, he closed his Bible, touched Alex’s face once more, and left quietly. Once Book was gone, Mal straightened up and slowly unfolded the report. His eyes skimmed over the doctor-speak and medical jargon for the one thing he needed to know. When he found it, he read it and then reread it again, and then again. He sighed, and stepped into the infirmary. Pulling a chair alongside the bed, he sat down, looking at Alex for any sign of change or awakening. There was none. Clutching the report in one hand, he reached toward her hesitantly with the other. He stopped and looked at her sleeping face again, just to make sure. Then he tentatively put his hand on her belly. He touched her with just his fingertips at first, taking in the round firmness rising to meet him; then, searching her face once more for any sign of response and seeing none, he laid his hand on her, palm down, letting it curve to the shape beneath it. He sat that way for long moments, marveling at how—alive—she felt to him, despite her latent state. He was certain he could feel small movements inside her, underneath his fingers. A shiver ran through him, starting somewhere low and then moving up to envelop him. He closed his eyes as the waves rolled over him, leaving him woozy and weak. He opened his mouth, struggling to get at the air that seemed just out of his reach. A pressure started in his chest and rose into his throat, and for a moment he wondered if he might be dying. He looked at Alex’s sleeping countenance again, starkly aware of how helpless he felt, and how ill equipped he was for whatever he was going to have to face. He had no idea what he would do if she didn’t wake up. He had no idea what he would do if she did. Mal hadn’t had a clue how he was going to react if the test results came back this way. But now emotions were awakening in him—strange emotions; emotions he had never before had a reason to feel. He lifted Alex’s limp hand, swathed in bandages, and looked at it for a moment, then placed it on her belly where his own had been. He covered her small hand with his larger one, squeezing it gently. With his other hand, he rubbed his weary eyes—and was startled to feel wetness on his fingers. It was an alien feeling to someone who couldn’t remember the last time he’d shed a tear. But the tight ache in his chest and throat had become unbearable, pushing upward like a battering ram, straining to break free. He took a deep, shuddering breath; then, exhausted and overcome, Mal hung his head and let the tears fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go to Chapter 25.

Back to Chapter 23.