Thursday, November 2, 2006

I apologise for this, but it's something I needed to get out of my system. Nothing in it means anything, and will never come up in my stories, but I ... well, you'll see when you read it. Feedback, as always, please ...


They’ve all gone. Gone ahead of me. I'm the only one left. That’s not entirely true, of course. Ethan and Jesse, and their little ones – though they ain’t so little no more, with babies of their own – are still around, but none of my crew are here.

Zoe and Hank, well, they didn’t have enough time together. Married for less’n a year, and she’s killed on a job that went wrong. I couldn’t stop it, I wasn't even there, laid up in the infirmary with a bullet wound of my own. They came back to tell me, but I knew. Knew my Corporal weren't around no more. I grieved for her, but no more’n Hank. Didn’t take him long, either, to find a man willing to put a bullet into him. Just a bar brawl, he made some crack about the other guy’s face, and suddenly he’s face down on the floor, his blood soaking into the old boards. We went back, buried him next to Zoe. I kinda like to think he and Wash are arguing about her right now.

Kaylee went before Simon, too. He took her off Serenity when she was sick, down to a planet where they should have been able to help, with their great medical facilities, but they couldn’t do a damn thing. Brought her home ‘cos she wanted to die in space, in her ship, on board Serenity. Found ‘em together the next morning. I’ll always believe he died of a broken heart, not the hypo I found on the deck. Buried them next to little Beth, out on that mossy plain.

Buried so many of my friends.

Weren't enough left of Jayne and River to bury, though I said words. That transport going up like it did on their way back from honeymoon. Shoulda picked ‘em up, and they’d still be around to annoy me.

And Inara. She was sick and never told no-one. Had been a long time, since before she ever came on board. But it finally caught up with her. Me and Frey, we went to see her at the end, in the House on Sihnon. She was dressed in her best, lying in the bed, her face made up just right, her hair shiny and curling sweetly. It pained her a little, but the young man at her side made sure he kept it under control. Frey said he was her lover, and I can imagine that. Even with the odd silver hair showing, she looked no different than from the first day I saw her. I felt Frey grip my hand – she knew what I was thinking. We talked for a while, but she grew tired, and we left. Didn’t see her again. No idea what they did with dead Companions, but I imagine there was a pyre someplace.

Frey. My lover. My wife. Mother of my children. The woman I killed for. Would have died for. Never wanted to … Even she went on ahead. Serenity couldn’t be fixed, so we took this place on. Just a small homestead, one we’d visited a long time ago, ran a few cattle, farmed some, just enough to keep going. Ethan and Jesse, they up and married, but didn’t move far. Felt like home, like a real family. Frey always said having them around made her go grey, and that she did. But it looked good on her, and when we were warming the bed at night, there weren't one where I didn’t take her, or she took me. Even when we felt too tired, it was too good an opportunity to miss. I loved her so much.

Then one day, just as the sun was rising, pushing against the curtains, I turned to her, to kiss her awake, and she wasn't there no more. Just a shell, lying on the pillow, her face composed, smiling, like she was sharing a joke with someone. Only she wasn't there. Local doc said there was no reason, just age, but it didn’t help. Ethan made all the arrangements, holding himself together by a great effort, and Jesse came in, made the place look nice for the funeral.

They all came, everyone from around these parts, but I don’t remember too well. Kept expecting her to walk in, declaring she didn’t know what all the fuss was about. But she never did. Ethan wanted me to come and live with him and Molly, take care of me, like I was another of their kids. But I said no, put my foot down like the Captain I used to be. I wasn't leaving, not the home I’d shared with Frey for so long that she was in every piece of furniture, every ornament, every little fairing that she’d bought on our travels. I couldn’t go. Be like tearing out my heart with my bare hands.

So here I am. Still in this house, looking out at the old ship sitting on the hillside, rusting away. She ain't going anywhere no more, just decaying like me.

It must be my eyes. Looks like the cargo doors’re opening and someone’s walking out. I know my eyesight ain't as good as it used to be, but I’d swear it was Frey. I wish I could get out of this chair and go … she’s at the door, opening it, letting the bright sunlight wash in and she’s inside with it. It is Frey. I want to hold her, tell her I love her …

She’s holding out her hand, and I reach up to take it. Only it ain’t the old hand I had, all lined and spotted, but the youthful one that used to stroke her skin. I touch it, and feel strength flowing back into me.

“Mal,” she says, her voice as I remember it.

I stand up, tall and strong again, and take her into my arms, feeling her solid against me, her hands on my back, her face in my chest. I lift her chin and place a kiss on her lips, ready and waiting for me.

“Is this a dream?” I ask, feeling a tear on my cheek. “Am I gonna wake up and find you’re not here?”

“No more dreaming, Mal,” she says, pressing the tear away with her thumb. “Time to go home.” She glances over her shoulder out of the open door, and I can see Serenity’s powering up, her glow fighting the sun. “They’re all waiting for you, Mal.”

My eyes, clear now, take in the people in the bay, waving and shouting, telling me to hurry up. Simon and Kaylee, River and Jayne, Zoe, Book with his bible … even Inara. I know Hank and Wash are on the bridge, arguing over who the pilot is, and who should be getting her warmed over, ready for wherever we want to go.

I can feel the gun at my hip, the braces over my shoulders, the boots I ain’t worn in years on my feet, and I look down at Frey. “Off on our adventures?” I ask.

“Always, Mal,” she says, and leads me off into forever.


Thursday, November 2, 2006 2:40 AM


Oh Wow, I am crying so hard it is taking me forever to post this comment. This absolutely blew me away! I *adored* the way you wrote this and how you bring everything back into a kind of lovely symetry so that as Mal casts off his troublesome mortal coil Freya is there to take him beyond, back to the rest of his crew and friends, off to explore the Black forever in a new 'verse where no one will ever be parted again and they can have all the adventures they want without any more toil and sorrow. Wow, if that isn't Heaven I ain't goin'. Perfect, you did a wonderful job. Now hand me another box of gorram tissues! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Thursday, November 2, 2006 5:04 AM


That was absolutely beautiful!

The idea that Simon would kill himself after Kaylee died because he could not live without her tears at my heart strings. The way you described each characters death was absolutely perfect.

And of course, Mal and Freya - I love the fact that the ship was just sitting on the hillside and it was again warming up ready to take them all back home and into the black. So perfect!

*sniffle* I'm all weepy and I have to work ...

Thursday, November 2, 2006 5:12 AM


I pretty much agree with everything AMDOBELL said, but this was so good I think it deserved to be seconded.

Damnit! It was so heartbreaking it hurt. The way Simon...damn near killed me, that part did. And then Inara...Oh! damnit, all of them...

Thursday, November 2, 2006 5:42 AM





Thursday, November 2, 2006 7:56 AM


Oh god, that was so sad, but I loved it. Made me cry it did... *sniffle*

Thursday, November 2, 2006 1:57 PM


Very warm and sweet. Gives a soul something to think about.

Thursday, November 2, 2006 8:37 PM


more tears here. wow....

Friday, November 3, 2006 5:59 AM


Oh, that was real sad.

Friday, November 3, 2006 5:32 PM


The awe factor I mentioned for a previous chapter? Still there and growing stronger by the moment, Jane0904:D

Definitely trying to restrain tears here after reading as one BDH after another was taken from Mal untill on he and the kids are left....:(



You must log in to post comments.



Monied Individual - Part XVIII
Jayne had told him a story once, about being on the hunt for someone who owed him something or other. He’d waited for his target for three hours in four inches of slush as the temperature dropped, and had grinned when he’d admitted to Hank that he’d had to break his feet free from the ice when he’d finished.
[Maya. Post-BDM. The Fosters show their true colours, Jayne attempts a rescue, and the others may be too late.]

Snow at Christmas
She’d seen his memories of his Ma, the Christmases when he was a boy on Shadow, even a faint echo of one before his Pa died, all still there, not diminished by his burning, glowing celebrations of now with Freya.

[Maya. Post-BDM. A seasonal one-off - enjoy!]

Monied Individual - Part XVII
Jayne hadn’t waited, but planted a foot by the lock. The door was old, the wood solid, but little could stand against a determined Cobb boot with his full weight behind it. It burst open.

[Maya. Post-BDM. The search for Hank continues. Read, enjoy, review!]

Monied Individual - Part XVI
He slammed the door behind him, making the plates rattle on the sideboard. “It’s okay, girl, I ain't gonna hurt you.” The cook, as tradition dictated, plump and rosy cheeked with her arms covered to the elbows in flour, but with a gypsy voluptuousness, picked up a rolling pin.

[Maya. Post-BDM. Kaylee finds the problem with Serenity, and Jayne starts his quest. Read, enjoy, review!]

Monied Individual - Part XV
“Did we …” “We did.” “Why?” As she raised an eyebrow at him he went on quickly, “I mean, we got a comfy bunk, not that far away. Is there any particular reason we’re in here instead?” “You don’t remember?” He concentrated for a moment, and the activities of a few hours previously burst onto him like a sunbeam. “Oh, right,” he acknowledged happily.

[Maya. Post-BDM. A little with each Serenity couple, but something goes bang. Read, enjoy, review!]

“Did we …” “We did.” “Why?” As she raised an eyebrow at him he went on quickly, “I mean, we got a comfy bunk, not that far away. Is there any particular reason we’re in here instead?” “You don’t remember?” He concentrated for a moment, and the activities of a few hours previously burst onto him like a sunbeam. “Oh, right,” he acknowledged happily.

[Maya. Post-BDM. A little with each Serenity couple, but something goes bang. Read, enjoy, review!]

Monied Individual - Part XIV
This wasn’t how an ex-companion did things. Perhaps she’d been hanging around a certain Firefly captain for too long. He listened at keyholes as if it were a competitive sport.

[Maya. Post-BDM. The crew go to the Spring Lights Procession, Mal gives some good news, and Sir Warwick puts in another cameo. Read, enjoy, review!]

Monied Individual - Part XIII
“It’s a family tradition, Mal.” Eugenia patted his hand. “No matter who marries into us, whatever their name, the moment they say ‘I do’ they become Rostovs. So you are Malcolm Rostov. It has a fine ring to it, don’t you think?”

[Maya. Post-BDM. A chapter of Mal and Freya, and a small revelation from Eugenia Rostov. Read, enjoy, review!]

Monied Individual - Part XII
Hank had to shake his head. In this day and age, when the entire output of every quill, pen and two-fingered monkey thumping on a keyboard was available on the Cortex, this statement of wealth and power was way over the top. He loved the feel of paper himself, turning the pages to get to the next twist, scanning the print to try and guess the next turn, but even his collection wouldn’t fill more than a shelf here.

[Maya. Post-BDM. Hank thinks about Zoe, Zoe thinks about Hank, while Freya and Mal have lunch. Read, enjoy, review!]

Monied Individual - Part XI
Freya felt flustered, as if her world had been turned upside down, black was white, and Jayne was the President of the Alliance.

[Maya. Post-BDM. Mal and Freya go to church, Hank doesn't go ice-skating, and maybe it's hinting at the calm before the storm. An extra long chapter to make up for the delay - enjoy!]