Saturday, November 11, 2006

Mal and Jayne have a little discussion on the principals of life, birth, and feminine conspiracy. One-shot.


‘Hey, Jayne.’

‘Yeah, Mal?’

‘Have you ever had one of those moments?’

‘What d’ya mean?’

‘Y’know, one of those moments.’

‘Stop drinkin’, Mal.’

‘Same time as you, Jayne.’

‘Fair ‘nough.’

‘Well, yeah. But, you know, one of those moments when, well, everything seems right with the world.’

‘You serious?’

‘Sure I am.’

‘I always thought you had to be mad as a reaver to think like that.’

‘Happened to me a couple of times.’

‘Well, that just proves it.’

‘No, I’m completely serious.’

‘You’re drunk, Mal.’

‘So are you.’


‘Well, I don’t think you’re in the right state of mind to make any kind of judgement.’

‘We never are, if Book were right.’

‘Amen to that.’

‘So, what are they?’

‘The what?’

‘You know, these moments of yours.’

‘I thought you didn’t believe in them or whatever.’

‘Mal, just ‘cause I don’t believe in your crap, don’t mean I’m not interested.

‘Hey, I always wondered why you were talking to Book.’

‘Yeah, that was one good man.’

‘Anyway, these moments.’

‘Of yours.’

‘Of mine.’


‘So what?’

‘You’ve forgotten, haven’t you?’


‘You have.’

‘I…I most certainly have not.’

‘Sure you have.’

‘No! No…I remember.’

‘Remember what?’

‘My first moment.’

‘Well? Don’t keep me waiting, Mal, you know the rule.’

‘Yeah, I know. Don’t keep a happy drunk waiting, or else-’

‘He won’t be a happy drunk no more.’

‘Yeah, I’d say my first was when I was about…five.’

‘Five? You first thought that everything, everything, was right in the world when you were ruttin’ five?!’

‘Look, I was very deep back then, okay?’

‘So, why when you where five?’

‘Well, I was just sitting on the porch one night, watching the sun go down, and my Ma walked out and told me that my brother was coming home.’

‘Coming home?’

‘Yeah, he tried to break out of our rut, tried to become a lawyer, or bailiff or something.’

‘Cool. Why that moment?’

‘Well, just knowing that somehow, however improbable it may seem, when someone has a dream, they can carry it out if they have the balls.’

‘Great things, dreams. What happened to him?’

‘What happened to who?’

‘You know, your brother.’

‘Oh, he stayed on Shadow, thought it could all be solved with ‘diplomacy’.’

‘Really? How’s he doing now?’

‘Not sure.’

‘Why’s that?’

‘To the best of my knowledge, he’s still there.’

‘But wasn’t Shadow-’


‘Sweet Buddha…I’m sorry, Mal.’

‘Nah, it’s okay. I mean, for all I know, he took off with the others.’

‘You checked?’

‘Yeah, they got nothin’. No Mr. Reynolds on any passenger list.’

‘Could always have been private.’

‘We can only hope.’

‘I’ll say a prayer, I guess.’

‘I thought you didn’t take with that.’

‘I can make an exception.’


‘Don’t mention it. You got another moment, or can I pass out now?

‘Nah, I’ve had more than one.’

‘Well, go on then. You know the rule.’

‘Yeah. Always follow one good story-’

‘With a better story.’

‘Well, I’ll try.’

‘So, when was your next monument?’


‘Yeah, that thing.’

‘When I first saw Serenity.’

‘You are pullin’ my leg, right?’

‘Hell, no!’

‘Mal, I have flown ruttin’ rocks more capable than this ship.’

‘Don’t let Kaylee hear you say that.’

‘Doesn’t matter, Mal, it’s true as true can be!’

‘Look, when I saw this ship, my ship, I just forgot everything else.’

‘You are drunk.’

‘Look, drunk I may be, but incapable of rational thought I am not.’

‘What the Hell does that mean?’

‘I’m not entirely sure…’

‘Dandy. You’d really count when you got Serenity as one of the best moments of your life?’

‘Well, no, not when I got it. When I saw it, just sitting there, all ignored…’



‘Nothing. Just you’ve spilt your drink.’

‘Oh, bloody Hell. Right, I’m lost now.’

‘Ruttin’ shame.’

‘Where was I?’

‘Oh, who gives a rat’s ass?’

‘Well, I was on a roll there.’

‘Sure you were.’

‘Don’t start patronising me, Jayne.’

‘Wouldn’t think of it.’



‘I remember!’

‘Remember what?’

‘My last moment!’

‘When was that?’

‘Two years ago.’

‘You mean when-’

‘Yep. When Kaylee had her baby.’

‘God, Mal, you’ve gone soft.’

‘I haven’t!’

‘You went as gooey eyed as the gorram happy couple.’

‘Oh, come on! When she held little Amy, I could see it in their eyes. Actual rutting love.’

‘Stop right there, Mal.’

‘An actual family, in a place like this. If the world wasn’t a good place, how could that have happened, hmm?’

‘It happened, Mal, because Kaylee was horny and they forgot protection, not because of any righteousness in the world.’

‘You’re just drunk.’

‘Don’t try and justify the world just ‘cause of a baby.’

‘Birth has that sort of effect on people.’

‘Not me.’

‘Come on, I saw you get all choked up.’

‘Of course I choked! I was eating a rutting sandwich!’

‘You’re pathetic, you know that?’

‘I walked in on a screaming woman with a little person coming out of her! It kinda spoils your appetite.’

‘I don’t mean that kind of choking.’

‘Sure. You know why people get all choked up during births? They always have ‘em during lunch.’

‘What about mornings and nights?’

‘Breakfast and dinner! Duh!’

‘You’ve really thought this through, haven’t you?’

‘You know me, Mal.’

‘I do at that, which is why I’m asking.’

‘Yes, Mal.’

‘So you think everything up there in your strange little head is…right?’


‘So you think that women synchronise births times?’

‘Well, it would make sense, wouldn’t it?’


‘I mean, they’re always so organised. What’s to stop them organising something like this?’

‘You’re saying every woman in the ‘verse-’

‘Not every woman, Mal, that would be crazy talk.’

‘No kidding.’

‘No, only the more organised ones.’

‘So you think Kaylee’s in on this?’

‘Who’s to say? Probably!’

‘You’re completely insane.’

‘So are you.’

‘Yeah, probably.’


Saturday, November 11, 2006 3:59 AM


lol thats kind of funny

Saturday, November 11, 2006 5:23 AM


Its a good story, cute and makes me believe that mal and jayne shouldn't drink no more

Saturday, November 11, 2006 9:13 AM


Hehehehehehe. Brilliant story. It was totally in character. I loved this Mal/Jayne conversation.


Saturday, November 11, 2006 12:15 PM


Oh fudge that was fugging hilarious! Definitely was waiting for the ladies to appear and start making comments at how wonky Jayne and Mal were acting while soused....but this was even better:D


Sunday, November 12, 2006 12:31 PM


that was new :) cool

Monday, March 5, 2007 9:07 AM




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