She'd stormed off after telling him to go to hell. Stuff of legend among the crew now, prolly. Mal was exceedingly grateful that there was no crockery nearby, because he was of a certainty she woulda taken aim at his head otherwise.

He also suspected she did not throw like a girl.

Mal decided to beat a retreat to the relative safety of the bridge, only to find Zoe napping in Wash's chair. It was still Wash's chair, even though River had taken over piloting. River and Zoe were the only two who ever sat in that chair.

"Another fight, Sir."

It did not escape Mal's attention that it was a statement of fact, rather than a question.

"What else is new? That woman just confounds me, Zoe."

Zoe never opened her eyes.

"Sir, remember what I told you when you ordered me not to marry Wash?"

"I do believe your exact words were 'Go to Hell, Sir.'"

"Might I suggest you take both her and my advice?"

"Zoe!"

She uncurled herself and yawned.

"Way I see it, you got two choices. Go to her or go to Hell. And Hell'l be waiting for ya anyway, so why not be with her for now?"

With that, she left Mal to gape as she tenderly brushed a finger across the back of the brontosaurus before heading for her bunk.

Ten minutes later, Mal found himself in front of Inara's door, tea tray in hand, with two steaming cups and a plate with two cookies. Carefully balancing the tray in one hand, he knocked.

Inara answered the door in her nightgown, barefoot and hair slightly mussed. If Hell was indeed his destiny, she was surely the prettiest angel there.

"Brought ya a peace offerin'. Figgur there's been enough grief on this boat without you and I spatting."

Inara couldn't help but smile at the sight of Mal balancing a fully loaded tray on one arm.

"That's quite a balancing act, Mal."

He flushed and took ahold of the tray with both hands.

"Yeah, well, lots of kitchen duty as a private will do that to a fellah."

She stepped aside to let him enter and set the tray down on the table in front of the couch.

"Oh, lemon cookies! My favorite!"

"Kiped 'em from Kaylee's secret stash."

"Are we petty thieving from the crew now?"

The smile on her face told Mal she was just gently ribbing him.

"Hey now! A peace offerin' ain't a petty thing! Had to swallow my manly pride an' everything..."

Inara took a cookie, dipped it in the tea and took a very dainty bite.

"Well, peace offering and cookies accepted, Mal."

Mal leaned forward to look her straight in the eyes.

"Like it here much better'n Hell. Company's easier on the eyes than Ol' Scratch."

She flushed under his intense stare.

"You really think you're going to Hell?"

"Well, both you and Zoe sentenced me there. 'tween that and my just naturally being a bad man, sorta fated that way. Going to Hell on that there tea tray, ya might say."

He inched closer, figuring that since the fate of his immortal soul was already sealed, he might as well try a close fly-by for a kiss.

He was shocked his own self when he actually stuck that landing. She tasted of tea, stolen cookies and all manner of dark and exotic things that would indeed speed up that trip to Hell.

She smiled as she slipped his suspenders off his shoulders and began to unbutton his shirt.

"I didn't mean it, you know. The part about you going to Hell."

He paused between kisses that gently nipped at her neck.

"Not a long haul anyway. 'sides, I'm already more'n halfway there..."