Author’s Note: The challenge ‘Simon bent Kaylee over’ was issued by BigBadJayne at Flan-that-wasn’t. Participants include: Kaynara, Leighkhol, Tamsibling, Itsawash, me and BigBadJayne.

This is my version.

Thanks to Tamsibling for the beta.

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Stitches

“Simon?”

“What?” From her vantage point, his voice was muffled and Kaylee arched her neck backwards so she could hear him more clearly.

“Why’s it takin’ so long?”

He didn’t look up, simply continued with what he was doing. “This is delicate work.”

“I don’t feel nothin’”

“There’s a good reason for that.”

“Yeah, but it ain’t fair that I can’t feel what you’re doin’.” A small pout appeared on her face which deepened when Simon didn’t look up.

Simon paused, his hands hovering over her bare skin, but then thought better about his response and continued working. He didn’t want to rile her, for good or bad, and he knew from experience how easy it could be.

Kaylee’s eyes narrowed as she glanced back over her shoulder. “Done yet?”

Simon sighed and stared down at his handiwork. “No, Kaylee.”

“Soon?”

“If you stop distracting me.”

“I aint’ distractin’ ya.” Kaylee’s eyes swept down what parts of his body she could see. “You’d know if I was tryin’ to distract ya.”

Simon swallowed hard, trying not to imagine just how distracting she could be. He had work to do.

“Yes, I can imagine I would.”

“Am pretty good at distractin’,” she prompted, clearly hoping he’d take the bait.

Simon swallowed thickly. “Yes. You are.”

A few moments of silence passed as Kaylee rested her chin in her hands and sighed, wiggling slightly when she felt pressure where Simon was working. After a few more minutes, she lost patience and arched her head over her shoulder to look down at him.

“Simon?”

The doctor sighed, wondering if he would get through this without having to gag the impatient mechanic. “Yes, Kaylee?”

“Can I distract ya now?”

“You already are.”

Kaylee’s eyes lit proudly and a happy smile spread across her face. But that smile slid away when Jayne poked his head around the infirmary door, eyes immediately gluing themselves to her bare backside.

“Done yet?”

Simon, for his part, quickly covered his work and glared at the mercenary. “No. Now kindly remove yourself from my infirmary. I’ll be out to tend to you when I’m done here.”

“Just want a weave. Will heal fine ‘nuff on its own.”

“The cut is deep, Jayne. Just get back out there and wait for me.” Simon’s eyes narrowed, wondering if they’d all made a pact to give him a hard time today.

Jayne’s eyes shifted to Kaylee’s covered backside and he licked his lips. “Rather stay here.”

“Yes, well I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Aw, don’t get your panties in a bunch, Doc. Kaylee ain’t had those doe eyes set on anyone but you since you got here.”

Simon could detect a hint of disgust and annoyance in that statement and he allowed a small smile.

“Yup,” Kaylee finally chimed in from where she lay bent forward over the diagnostic chair. “Gettin’ uncomfortable here, Simon, ya almost done?”

“As soon as Jayne leaves.”

Kaylee wiggled and the sheet he’d covered her backend with started to slide away. The mechanic sighed proudly when her man moved quickly to stop it, smooth hands brushing across her bare skin as he did so.

But Kaylee wasn’t done. She wanted to rile him a bit more. “Isn’t like he ain’t seen it before.”

Simon’s eyebrows raised in an abject horror that made Kaylee laugh outright and Jayne guffaw annoyingly.

“Not my pi gu, silly.” Kaylee soothed, wondering when she saw the instant relief cross Simon’s face if she’d corrected his incorrect thought too quickly. “Just in general. You know. He likes women.”

Simon’s brilliant mind wondered if he should enter the game or simply keep quiet. He did have work to do, injured crew to patch up. But the invitation was too good to pass up.

“Yep. I do,” Jayne puffed out his chest proudly. “Sittin’, standin’, layin’, lic –“

Simon wrinkled his nose in disgust and gave in to his desire to bait the big man. He swiveled his head upward, and with a small shrug, calmly said, “Maybe he likes men.”

Jayne’s mouth fell open and Kaylee laughed, wincing when she rolled nearly off the chair. Simon’s hands came down on her closest hip to keep her from moving further while a small, satisfying grin spread across his face at Jayne’s reaction.

“I ain’t sly, doc.” His eyes raked down the smaller man’s lithe frame. “Wondered a long time ‘bout you tho’.”

Simon wisely kept his mouth shut.

“Oh, he ain’t sly,” Kaylee added as a dreamy look passed across her face.

Jayne grunted, but would not give the prissy boy the last word. “Can hide it real well, I’m told.” He grinned slyly at Kaylee. “Hell, Doc probably is an’ ya just don’t know it.”

Simon set his jaw but said nothing. It would not bode well to get too deeply into this conversation right now.

Kaylee shifted her eyes between the two men before settling mischievous eyes on Simon. “Can I watch?”

Simon actually laughed at that and Jayne kept silent for a moment before the implication of Kaylee’s comment finally made sense.

“Me an’ –“ Jayne vigorously shook his head. “You’re cracked woman.” He arched his head toward Simon. “If I were sly, I wouldn’t want that prissified boy in my bed.”

“Good, ‘cause he’s in mine and he ain’t leavin’ anytime soon,” Kaylee smiled brightly, dropping playful eyes to Simon.

“Yeah, till a better lookin’ boy comes ‘round, then he’ll –“

Simon rolled his eyes. Having heard enough discussion about his orientation, he dismissed Jayne with a wave of his hand. “Out Jayne. I need to finish with Kaylee.”

Jayne leaned against the doorframe, a gleam in his eyes. “I’ll wait.”

Simon took a deep breath, wondering just how long he would last before the infuriating man finally made him mad enough to draw blood. He possessively straightened the sheet over Kaylee’s backside and said, “You’ve seen enough.”

Jayne licked his lips. “Don’t mind seein’ a little more.”

“You don’t leave this instant and that cut on your hand won’t be the only one that I have to suture,” Simon snapped, annoyance at this whole situation finally getting to him.

Jayne opened his mouth to respond but was silenced when Mal appeared beside him, glaring with his meanest Captainy look. He might turn in the doc and his crazy sis, but there wasn’t any way he’d turn on the Captain. Not again. Muttering a few choice curses beneath his breath, Jayne walked away, Mal following, leaving Kaylee and Simon staring at the now vacant doorway.

“That was all manner of hot, sweetie,” Kaylee’s eyes were wide and one end of her mouth turned up in a knowing smile.

“Threatening the great ape that could snap my spine with little effort turned you on?” The look of astonishment on his face made it difficult for Kaylee to hold in the laughter threatening to spill from her lips.

Kaylee shifted to her side and leveled a heated gaze at him. “Yup.”

Simon shook his head and bent her back over the diagnostic chair again, wanting to finish his work before she decided the painkillers he’d given her would allow her to get in some lovin’ before they wore off.

“Maybe you should sit on a fork more often,” he muttered beneath his breath as Kaylee relaxed and let him take care of her punctured backside.

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