BLUE SUN ROOM FILK

SLICEANDDICE

Tearful Rose
Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Work shop was yesterday and i got suggestions on how to improve my poem, Rose, So here is its redo


CATEGORY: FILK    TIMES READ: 1864    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Barely blossoming

Exposing its heart

And soul in one

Allowing its sweet scent spill out

Spreading on the air

Hinting to its beauty

A gentleness lying inside

Delicate skin hiding it

Drooping in the garden

Unable to hold up its head

Against gravity

Or its shame

To be surrounded by bright life

Sweet green

Vibrant blues and yellow

With it’s deep red

Mocking its darkness

The defying red

Almost tempting with its defiance

Luring all with its image, Almost

Hinting

To its fear

What it will do

Warning all despite its meek appearance

With its armor

Protecting its innocence

An arsenal of hurt waiting

To stab those who harm it

To thrust its only weapon

Daggers to slice through its enemies

Who wish to take it away

To make it live its fear

To a life of sorrow

To be a sad gift

And the beginning of a lie

To kiss the lips of a bride

Doomed to cry

The sorry for absence

From father to daughter

The last good-bye

Lain across to die for the dead

All against its wishes

When all it wants is its end

In the rain and earth

That where its only friends

COMMENTS

Wednesday, January 31, 2007 4:50 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Oh...I was sceptical about how you could improve "Rose"...but this is brilliant!

:D

BEB

Thursday, February 1, 2007 4:18 AM

ALLIETHORN7


Awesomeness personified. Loved it, loved it, loved it sumore. You are most definitely a great poet, ya?

-Danny


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