BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR

DANNIISUPERNOVA

Of Bar Fights and White Knights
Sunday, April 15, 2007

You better be a gentleman when Jayne Cobb is around. (Non-canon pairing: Jaylee)


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3276    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

She’s just sittin’ there, minding her own business, when out of nowhere this swai lookin guy comes up and offers to buy her a drink. Mal had said- specifically stated beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was supposed to be back to Serenity before eleven o' clock hit. He wanted everybody inside by then; not just her, but Kaylee felt like she was most of the cause for the curfew. Jayne had grumbled something fierce about it, but in the end had complied figuring that, as this job would keep them up late, it would be best to be back before closing time. Hanging around would attract too much attention, and the big guy knew it.

This swai guy was offerin’ her as many drinks as she'd like, and saying what a fine lookin lady she was. Kaylee always liked bein called pretty, especially if the guy doin it looked more then a little beddable. She was getting a little tipsy when she saw the clock. She'd been puttin off going back to Serenity, not wanting to run into Simon after their last skirmish. He annoyed her a lot of the time and lately it was bordering on all the time. It was five past.

"Go se!"

She looked at her barmate. "I'm sorry, but I gotta get back. My captain is real particular about when I'm on ship."

"Oh hey now, honey! I just bought you about a gallon of booze and all I get is 'sorry, I need to get back'?" He obviously thought that she was drunker then she was. She may have been small, but when it came to holdin her liquor, Kaywinnet Lee Frye was no slouch. "Now if you just come with me ai ren, I'll show you a good time. Preferably somewhere cozier."

Kaylee looked at him incredulously. If he'd wanted to get in her pants, all he'd had to do was act like he was inclined and furthermore, ask her pretty. But she didn't like it when people tried to hoodwink her just cause she was nice. So, swai or not, this guy could get to steppin.

"No thanks. I'm cozy right here, and I think I'll be even cozier when I get back to my ship." She slide off of the bar stool, gettin ready to leave. She wobbled a bit in her big shoes and started to walk away.

The guy caught her by the arm. "Hey, I just spent a good part of my pay check on you and spent about an hour listenin to you whinge on about some heap of a ship. Now doesn't that earn me some rights?"

"What the hell is goin on here?" Wonder of wonders, Jayne had stumbled into the Floating Dog, probably after getting thrown out of every other bar in town. Now, even in his greatly inebriated state, it was apparent to him that somebody was hasseling Kaylee. And if any hasseling, especially of Kaylee was going to be done, well then by Tien it would be done by Jayne Cobb.

"What's going on is that I'm trying to get this little drunk slut back to my room. So you best stay out of the way, ‘lessen you want to find your balls on the floor." The guy still seemed fairly confident that Kaylee was drunk off of her ass, and that Jayne posed no threat. He was clearly, to both the big merc and the little mechanic, an idiot.

Jayne hauled the man up by the back of his collar and threw him into the hiccupping jukebox, spinning some crappy tune about loving the wrong guy. I know all about that. Don't need to hear no song about it, Kaylee thought while she watched Jayne proceed with beating the shit out of a guy who weren’t lookin so swai anymore.

"And that's what you git!" Jayne shouted drunkenly. "…fer not bein a gennel’man!" He practically fell on top of Kaylee at this point as they staggered out the door, his arm around her shoulders, the bartender pointing a shotgun at them and saying never to show their gorram faces in his bar again. "Yeah yeah! Big loss, never bein able to come back to a hole like this!" Jayne shouted over his shoulder. By this time, Kaylee was laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

She slapped him on the shoulder. "Jayne!"

"What? I can't defend my girl's honor ‘thout gettin thrown out of a bar in this town. Why the hell would I ever want to come back?" He tripped a little and Kaylee realized that he was looking right down her shirt.

"Since when am I your girl, Jayne?" She smiled at him, a little sadly. She hated having to give bad news.

He looked at her for a second, very confused. "Wait....aren't you? Or was that..." he looked away staring off into space the look on his face one of deep concentration. He turned back to her, smiling as if he'd figured out some way around this formality. "Well, are ya doin anything later?"

"Probably getting yelled at by Mal and then soberin up."

"That sounds like stuff I can do. Is it a date?" He grinned at her, looking incredibly stupid but also incredibly cute. She smiled back at him.

"Ya did save me from long, tall and not-so-ugly back there. I guess I owe ya." She bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"Great!" Jayne shouted. "And if you wanna come back to my bunk later, it's nice and big. Just like me." He keeled forward, threatening to pull her down with him.

Kaylee grabbed his arm and tried to pull him up, but he just rolled over onto the road and looked up at her, quiet for a second. "You’re awful pretty, Kaylee. No wonder you're always gettin inta trouble with them heaps of go se. I get worried, ya know?"

"Well that's why I have you. You're a regular white knight, Jayne Cobb." She kisses him on the cheek before starting to pull him back up off of the ground.

"Ain't I though?" he said, swaggering, his hand drunkenly grabbing her ass.

COMMENTS

Sunday, April 15, 2007 2:10 PM

AMDOBELL


I liked the fact that Jayne knocked seven barrels of *goushi* out of that lowlife trying to get Kaylee to go off with him so he could take advantage of her. What a slime ball! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Sunday, April 15, 2007 4:30 PM

VALERIEBEAN


This was cute. The concept is done a lot, but there were some amusing and original elements. I love Jayne's deeply reflective response when Kaylee says "since when am I your girl"...

Tuesday, April 17, 2007 7:51 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


While I don't ship Jaylee...this was still all kinds of awesome, danniisupernova! And welcome back! Haven't seen your handle about in a while;)

Still...definitely gotta give you props for making Kaylee out to be more capable than people would assume. I would imagine that if she can deal with sampling her own engine wine, she can take some bar booze that's probably been watered down some;D

Oh...and Jayne was all kinds of drunkenly brilliant here! Between his act of educating the hundan who tried to pick Kaylee up, and his drunken confession to her outside the bar? I was definitely warming up to the big lug's affections toward our favourite mechanic;)

BEB


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