The Last One to Leave, Turn out the Lights NC-17, het DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE PORN by Mary Kroll, with help from the venerable and reviled WhiteKnight

“Tell me again why we’re in the shower.”

“Ventilation, silly. Shower’s got the best ventilation and filters on the ship.” Kaylee playfully bumped her shoulder against Simon. “And the door lock can only be overridden from the infirmary, so we have the whole thing to ourselves, nice and private-like.”

“And why is Jayne here?”

“’Cuz there ain’t no way sotweed’s getting smoked and I ain’t smoking it,” Jayne said, swiping the cherry-tipped cigarillo from Kaylee’s hand.

“Hey!” she blurted and giggled ecstatically.

Jayne took a long, slow drag and leaned back against the cool wall, eyes closed, holding the smoke in his lungs for a long moment before letting it float out through his barely slack lips. “Oh, yeah,” he rumbled with satisfaction.

“You look like a dragon. Do that again,” Kaylee cooed as she reclaimed the cigarillo and inhaled more briefly than Jayne but with similar enthusiasm.

“In a minute.”

“I’m actually a little surprised by you, Jayne. I wouldn’t have thought that someone who worked on his body so religiously would be smoking sotweed,” Simon opined.

“Little surprised at you, Doc. How’d she talk you into it?”

“She dragged me bodily.”

“I did at that,” Kaylee chirped and made to pass the cigarillo back to Jayne. Barely cracking his eyes open, he pushed her hand back.

“Give Simon some more of that.”

“I’m touched by your generosity, but I’m still good from that coughing fit I had five minutes ago.”

Jayne glanced sidelong at Simon. “Give him some more, little Kaylee. I can’t truck to sober people sitting in.”

Kaylee wiggled on the shower’s slatted bench until she was mostly facing Simon. “It’s easy, Simon. Just close your eyes and take a deep breath…” After a moment’s hesitation, but unable to deny that beaming face any request, he obliged. “Now let it out slowly for at least ten seconds.” While Simon exhaled, Kaylee drew an earnest breath through the cigarillo. The instant Simon began to inhale again, Kaylee took his face in both hands and sealed her lips over his. As he gasped in surprise, Kaylee blew the acridly sweet smoke into his mouth. Needing air, Simon had no choice but to breathe it in. “Now hold you breath,” she ordered, and tried to hold one hand over his mouth as he tried to pull it away. The struggle quickly degraded into a playful, childish looking slap fight and Simon puffed the smoke out with a laugh. He waited with trepidation for the hacking and choking to begin. Five seconds. Ten seconds. Nothing.

“Wow.”

“I always said there’s almost nothing you can’t fix with a shotgun,” Jayne chuckled.

Simon grinned sheepishly at Kaylee and unconsciously licked his lips. “Can we do that again?”

“Me first,” Jayne said, thumping Kaylee’s bicep with the back of his hand. “He’s liable to start kissin’ you, then I’ll never get it back.” Instead of bristling or shooting back a sarcastic barb, Simon just blushed a little as Jayne nursed the cigarillo. His sigh was almost a purr as he slid further down on the bench and let the hand with the cigarillo fall in the basic direction of Kaylee. Jayne felt good all throughout his body, energized and sedate all at once. Kaylee took a drag for herself and then breathed smoke into Simon again, this time without startling him and with gentleness when their lips met. “Reminds me of this time I was hole up in some settlement town on Janus, smoking and drinking, a whole week, completely blasted.”

“Must have been fun,” There was a slight huskiness in Kaylee’s voice.

“Sure was.”

“I think Kaylee means that you must have had lot of … fun, and she may be politely trying to tell you that you have a hard-on.”

Kaylee laughed at Simon’s uncharacteristic crudeness as Jayne glanced down at his crotch casually. Sure enough, the front of his trousers were tented proudly. He adjusted his erection and gave it a few firm, lazy strokes for good measure. Jayne looked back and forth from Kaylee to Simon to find them both watching his hand, though Simon looked away sharply and focused his eyes on the opposite wall. “That’s why I love this go se, makes me horny as hell.”

“Me, too,” Kaylee said, not bothering with eye contact. “Girls got appetites too, you know.”

“What about you, Doc? It doin’ anything for ya?”

The shower room was quiet for a moment, interrupted only by the sound of Kaylee resituating so that she was kneeling on the bench, facing the wall, one hand resting on each man’s thigh. Reflexively, Simon rested one hand on his groin, but it was useless to try to hide his arousal. He had been staring at Kaylee the entire time, the way her nipples were so evident under her tank-top and how, if she sat just right, the lacey border of her panties peeked out from behind her pants and her coveralls with the sleeves tied loosely around her hips. His hands were tingling, his brain felt like it had bubbles in it, and all that was in his mind was a longing for Kaylee. “Yes,” he sighed roughly.

“So…,” Kaylee began gradually moving her hands up each respective thigh, “you wanna?”

Simon’s eyes widened, half startled by the suggestion and half startled by the way his cock jumped. “The three of us?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’m not sly or anything.”

“Don’t worry, Simon. No one has to do anything they don’t want to, and if there’s something you want done to you, you just ask for it.”

“What happens…after?”

“The way I see it, we’re havin’ fun. We enjoy it all we can right now and we don’t talk about it afterwards. The fun stays here. It’s not,” she searched for the right word, “really real. Dong ma?” Simon nodded and began to caress the hand that was inching its way toward his hardness. “Jayne, you in?” His answer to her, in addition to a smile that just bled lust, was to take her hand and place it firmly on his erection. “Shiny.”

“What do you want to do, little Kaylee? Triangle, Finger Trap, Dutch Door?”

Kaylee just smiled broadly and turned her attention to Simon. She moved cautiously at first, drawing his hand to her lips to kiss his palm and the inside of his wrist. So many times in the past, it has seemed that they were on the very thin precipice of a romantic relationship, but something always happened to set them back, even imperiling their friendship. In that respect, this was a dangerous idea to be sure, but Kaylee wanted Simon. She had begun wanting him the day he first came to be on Serenity and she had grown to want him a little more each day since. “Maybe this is the only way you can ever have him, drugged up and seduced,” a sadly resolute part of her mind reflected. Kaylee shook the thought away as she drew the tip of her tongue along the length of Simon’s index finger and flicked at the tip. His mouth hung open slightly, but his eyes were fixed intensely on her pink tongue as it lapped at his finger and she took it all the way into her mouth. Kaylee sucked hard on his finger as she drew it from her mouth. Simon panted softly. Apparently, her demonstration had helped him put aside some of his intrinsic inhibitions.

“Kaylee, will you touch me?” Simon asked in a low voice.

“I would love to touch you, Simon.” Kaylee gave Jayne’s erection a fond squeeze and the two of them shared a lascivious smile as she slid off the bench to kneel between Simon’s legs. She fished a rubber band out of her pocket and wrangled her sunset auburn hair into a ponytail. Beginning with a hand on each knee, Kaylee rubbed firmly up Simon’s thighs and back down. When her hands reached forward a second time, they met over the bulge straining Simon’s zipper. The button and zipper offered Kaylee no resistance. Simon grabbed at the edge of the bench as her fingertips traced the underside of his hard organ through the thin material of his boxer shorts. He drew a sharp breath through his nose and arched his back as her fingers wrapped around him and drew him out. Her strokes were slow and light, just skimming over his skin, sensitizing him.

The lowering of another zipper sounded in the small room as Jayne freed his own cock and pushed his pants halfway down his thighs. He had been kept awake many a night by images of Kaylee’s gorgeous pale skin, her curves and that smile that only served to encourage his passion. His only escape was to let the tableau run its course as he pumped himself furiously. To see her being so bold, live and in person, was making him throb. He rubbed his thumb over the head of his cock as Kaylee looked at him. The devilish gleam in her eyes sent a shiver up his spine that spread goosebumps down his arms. She liked that he was watching her.

Kaylee watched Jayne’s fist bobbing leisurely and she could feel her heart begin to pound. Sex had always been a hidden activity, carried on in dim, closed places where no one could find her and the boy in question. Now she had two boys –two men- and she thrilled at the thought of each watching her with the other. Kaylee felt emboldened and very, very desirable. Still holding Simon’s hard organ in a gently sure grip with one hand, Kaylee pushed Simon’s sweater up his chest. He stared down at her with wide eyes as she lapped a trail from his navel to the center of his breastbone. From there, she kissed and sucked the skin of his smooth chest until she found a tawny nipple, already firm in anticipation. She rolled the tip of her tongue around it a few times before sucking it and holding it carefully between her teeth.

Simon managed to disengage his white-knuckled hands from the bench and one of them found the back of Kaylee’s head, holding her against him as his hips rose and fell of their own volition. He could hear the fleshy sounds of Jayne’s self-attention off to his side, but could not bring himself to look. Kaylee released his cock and used her freed hand to tweak and worry the first nipple as her mouth moved to its twin. His sweater fell against her face and Simon pulled it back up, as much to prevent it from obscuring his view of her than to keep it from bothering her. Teasingly lightly, Kaylee drew her nails down Simon’s sides, causing a strangled moan in him. When her fingertips reached his waist, Kaylee hooked them into the waistband of Simon’s boxers. He lifted his hips, effectively grinding his hardness between her breasts, and she slid his pants and shorts off, pausing only long enough to sweep off his white socks. Kaylee licked her lips unashamedly as Simon peeled off his sweater. He was every bit as gorgeous as she’d hoped, even more so with his fine muscles. Knowing that she was looking at him, at his nakedness, Simon closed his eyes.

Owing to a proper --read: prudish-- upbringing and his habit on immersing himself in study or work, Simon’s sexual experiences were limited. There were two girls in college and one in MedAcad. All three experiences had ended in orgasm, but they had left him feeling empty and unfulfilled inside. He had wondered if he were just not capable of feeling the level of passion that seemed to come so naturally for everyone else. There was definitely passion in this, even if it was purely physical lust, even if it was a credit to the drug weaving its way through his body, and that gave him back some little confidence in himself.

“Kaylee,” Jayne’s voice was rough from an abundance of testosterone in, “take your gear off before you start that.” Not needing to be told twice, Kaylee stood and untied the sleeves of her coveralls from around her hips, her eyes never leaving Jayne’s, and let them drop to her ankles. Underneath were tight capris, which she slid off slowly, turning slightly to the side so both men would have a view to appreciate. Grateful that she had taken off her steel-toed boots after supper, Kaylee kicked off her zori and punted the entire mass of fabric away. She stood with one hip jutted out to the side and peeled off her tank-top, releasing her breasts to bob free in the cool air, which hardened her rosy nipples.

“Leave those on,” Jayne interrupted as Kaylee moved to slide down her panties. They were plain white cotton, cut high on her hip and low beneath the soft curve of tummy below her navel.

Kaylee swayed her hips as she closed the short distance to Jayne and straddled one of his muscular thighs. “You like what you’re seein’?” Not bothering to ask permission, she stripped Jayne of his sleeveless t-shirt and threw it with her clothes. As Kaylee drew her fingernails lightly through the dark brown hair on Jayne’s chest, he began to caress her breasts with gentle squeezes with his free hand.

“Those are gorgeous titties, girl.” Jayne could not take his eyes from them. Enswathed in creamy smooth skin, Kaylee’s breasts were soft, full and round, but at the same time perfectly perky. Her nipples were like drops of pink sugar candy. They were nearly perfect breasts, in Jayne’s estimation.

“Thank you,” Kaylee’s voice wavered as Jayne swirled a nipple in tight circles with his thumb. Wrapping one arm around her slim waist, he drew her against him and could not help himself but immediately began licking and sucking at one nipple. Kaylee arched against Jayne as he moved to her other nipple, stimulating the first with his hand, just as she had done for Simon.

“Gorgeous titties.” Jayne sighed through a salaciously contented smile. “I’ll hold up fine.” He gave her a firm pat on the rear and nodded his head in Simon’s direction. “Go back over there and show that boy how its done.”

“You givin’ me orders now?” Kaylee gave Jayne’s nipple a tweak as she dismounted, and on all fours stalked like a lioness down the bench to Simon. Despite the awkwardness he had felt watching Kaylee with Jayne, Simon was still fully hard. Kaylee laid half across his lap and placed a polite kiss on the very tip of his penis. Simon gripped the edge of the bench again. Kaylee mouthed up one side of the shaft and down the other, avoiding the sensitive head entirely. Forming a ring around the base with her thumb and forefinger, she squeezed him firmly as the broad surface of her tongue traveled the length of him. Kaylee allowed her hot breath to wash over his cockhead for what she hoped would be an agonizingly long moment before sliding into her mouth. She tried not to smile as Simon gasped. Slowly, she lowered her head, pushing him deeper into her mouth. Simon’s held breaths turned into heavy pants as she withdrew and began sucking. Kaylee’s tongue caressed as much skin as possible as she slid him into and out of her mouth. When she began to suck him with varying intensity, Simon began to thrust timidly and he shook as he fought to be still.

Behind her, Jayne ran his fingertips along Kaylee’s cotton-clad kitty. She was so hot and already the fabric felt damp. There are few experiences in life that do not lose potency over time. Touching a woman to find her already wet for you is one of those. Jayne squeezed his cock more tightly on each up-stroke.

The entire scenario was almost beyond Simon’s ability to comprehend. Thankfully for all parties assembled, Kaylee was bringing him too close to orgasm too quickly to allow for rational thought of any kind. He grabbed at her shoulders desperately. “Wait, Kaylee, stop,” Simon panted. He pushed her away, causing his member to **pop** from her mouth. Kaylee giggled and Jayne snorted once as the sound bounced loudly in the shower.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. It’s wonderful. I just want to, um…I want to taste you.”

Kaylee chuckled in a staggeringly seductive way as she maneuvered to sit on the bench and Simon moved to kneel between her legs. Teasingly, she closed her legs as Simon moved to part them. “Here, help me with these,” and she guided his hands up her thighs to her panties, lifting her hips up as the four hands slid them off.

Jayne slid down the bench closer to Kaylee and leaned in close to Simon’s ear, “You know how to do this?”

“I think I can figure it out,” he whispered back. It was likely an effect of the drug, but for whatever reason, Jayne’s normally rancorous presence did not perturb him.

“Well, alright then, genius. Let’s see what you can do with that pretty mouth of yours.”

“Jayne,” Kaylee slapped him playfully but firmly on the arm, “let him alone.”

Simon bent over her until his nose nearly brushed the curly chestnut hair at the juncture of her still-closed legs. The smell that filled his nostrils as he breathed in deeply was enough to make him salivate. He tenderly opened her thighs enough to run his tongue down the moist, full lips that he found there. Her essence was intoxicating and his eyes closed of their own volition as began to lap hungrily at the dew that glistened in the florescent light. Kaylee began moving slightly against his mouth and her breathing became a litany of murmured pleas, “there, oh god, yes, more, more just like that.”

As he slid a tentative finger inside her, a voice in Simon’s brain barked at him, “This isn’t a pelvic exam, Doctor. You’ve got to show this girl how much you want her.” He began thrusting that finger slowly, bending it gently in search of that elusive spot. When Kaylee sighed and spread her legs farther for him, he knew he had found it. Simon gracefully circled her pearl with the tip of his tongue as he slid a second finger into the snug, slick heat of Kaylee’s beautiful pink. Kaylee gasped hard and could not help but put one hand on his head, unconsciously desperate to keep him there as her pleasure mounted. Simon alternately pressed her pearl between his lips, sucked it gently, and laved it with his tongue, all the while stroking her core with two deft fingers. Kaylee’s murmurs had become near cries, which stopped abruptly. She inhaled deeply as her orgasm crested. It was all she could do to keep from screaming as the force of her climax arched her body away from the wall. She trembled with it and her vision went white as she drenched Simon’s ravenous mouth. Through the haze of pleasure, Kaylee caught an unforgettable sight -- Jayne with one knee on the bench, one foot on the floor, right next to her, his dusky and engorged weapon in his furiously pumping fist. His mouth hung open but there were no sounds as Jayne’s body tensed and he came, coating Kaylee’s breasts with white slipperiness. Belatedly, Kaylee released Simon’s head and slumped, panting, back against the wall.

Jayne fetched his shirt from the rumpled pile of clothes and meticulously wiped Kaylee’s breasts clean. Simon continued to savor the taste and smell of her, caressing the flawlessly smooth skin of her labia. Finally raising his head, he startled to find Jayne crouched next to him. Jayne grabbed his jaw with a calloused hand and, before Simon could do anything more substantial than blink, a broad tongue began cleaning the wetness from around his mouth. Simon’s skin tingled as Jayne licked across his lips.

“Tzao-goa, that’s hot,” Kaylee moaned breathlessly.

“You ready to finish him off, Little Kaylee?” Jayne said, not taking his eyes from Simon’s.

“You bet your sweet ass, I am.”

“Don’t I have a say in this?” Simon arched an eyebrow.

“No,” Jayne’s voice was coldly firm as his hand closed on Simon’s wrist and, with one practiced brawler’s motion, he dragged Simon to his feet, spun him to face the same direction and clamped his arms around Simon’s.

“Jayne!”

“Shh, boy. I ain’t gonna hurt you. Just sometimes you need help with the obvious. Try to relax, for once.”

It was as if Kaylee and Jayne wanted to make Simon receive pleasure. His erection had wilted, but the warm, wet suction of Kaylee’s mouth revived it readily. He tried not to panic at the sensation of thickly muscled arms around his chest and a hairy chest against his back. This was as close as he had ever come – or ever wanted to come- to a homosexual experience. Kaylee did something with her tongue that drew him back into focus. Simon’s entire body grew more and more tense as his orgasm raced to its rubicon. He could not escape. He could not resist. She would not stop.

Like thunder rending the summer night sky, Simon’s orgasm struck him powerfully. Each spasm of lust felt so good he thought he might die from it. It had been so long. Kaylee swallowed and sucked at him until his knees went weak and he slumped back against Jayne. “Oh, god. That was…” he panted. The speech center of his brain was almost entirely inaccessible to him. “Just ‘oh, god’.”

Kaylee smiled that funny, tight-lipped smile. “You’re welcome.”

“Can you say ‘thank you’ for something like that?”

Suddenly and unceremoniously, Jayne shifted Simon’s amorphous form to the bench and out of his way. Kaylee took the calloused hand he offered and climbed, with marginal unsteadiness, to her feet. The tile floor has been harsh to her knees but that was a small price to pay for such an escapade. Simon was still trying to regain his breath and composure as Jayne backed up to the bench and sat down, drawing Kaylee with him. She climbed eagerly onto his lap. Jayne’s eager cock jumped as the heat from her sex poured over him. She inched closer and rubbed her damp quim against his throbbing hardness.

Jayne clutched at her hips. “Tell me you want me.”

“I want you, Jayne,” Kaylee’s voice was thick with arousal. “I want to feel you inside of me.” Jayne closed his eyes as the image washed over him. As Kaylee rose up slightly on her knees, Jayne’s cock lifted anxiously upwards and, as if by instinct, the tip rested against Kaylee’s wet opening. Lower lip caught between her teeth, Kaylee lowered herself onto the thrilling impalement slowly. He filled her in a incredible way, stretching her just enough to send shocks of exhilaration down her limbs. She needed only tilt her hips and lift up slightly to feel Jayne’s cock stroking her completely. The more Kaylee moved on him, the greater the hunger she felt became.

Jayne wrapped her arms tightly around her and, feet planted firmly and wide, did his level best to thrust up into the smooth heat that gripped him like a tight fist. Shivers ran through Jayne as Kaylee began to gasp for breath. Kaylee wrapped her arms tightly around Jayne’s neck and held herself off of him, letting him do most of the moving.

Kaylee moaned his name with hot breath on his ear and something opened deep inside Jayne, dark, hot, raw and desperate. He needed Kaylee. He needed so much more than just his body inside of hers. He wanted to pour his soul into her, knowing that she would accept him wholly and give all of herself in return, and to spend the rest of his life in the glow of her heart.

Kaylee’s breathy moans became short, plaintive sounds. When her core tightened around him and her body veritably vibrated, it was all Jayne could do not to lay her onto the bench and pound into her for all he was worth. Instead he pulled her against him and ground her hips back and forth against his. His climax felt like a lightning strike, trying to turn his body inside out. Jayne bit the joint of Kaylee’s neck and shoulder so that he would not cry out that he loved her.

The pants and gasps subsided after a time. “So, you, um…” Jayne ‘s voice was suddenly devoid of its brazen confidence.

“Tianna, I feel like I just came for an hour.” Lifting off Jayne’s softening member, Kaylee barely managed to turn around and drop onto the bench before her quivering knees gave up all together. Simon, who had enjoyed the performance despite himself, reached a soft hand to her far cheek and drew Kaylee to him for a languorous kiss. They sat without speaking, each enjoying the fading effects of the friendly drug and the phenomenal sex.

“You all might want to shower and be sure to watch those clothes.” Jayne levered himself from the bench and retrieved his pants. “Zoe can smell sotweed from a meter away.”

“What about you?”

Jayne zipped his pants but did not bother buttoning them. “No one on this boat would be surprised to smell it on me.” He gave them a smile that seemed strangely thin. “Well, I just shot my brain out my dick twice, so I’m going to bed.” Jayne scooped his boots semen-stained shirt from the floor and was nearly out the door before he stopped suddenly. He turned his head only in profile to them, “Y’all were good.”

Optional Epilogue

Feet hanging over into the air, Jayne sat on a catwalk in the cargo hold with his chin resting on a chain rail. Jayne always knew his own mind, no matter how he saturated it with drugs or drink. Now, he was feeling something that he could not reconcile, something towards Little Kaylee, something powerful and beyond his control. It did not make any sense to him.

Jayne did not bother to look to the soft footfalls that padded toward him, just sighed through his nose in moderate annoyance. River climbed the chain rails like a ladder and stood balanced on the solid top rail. “Get down.” Heedless to Jayne’s order, River walked across the rail, her arms out to the side but her equilibrium never wavered. When she reached the vertical support, she turned perfectly on the balls of her feet. “Get down before I knock you down.” In answer to that order, River bent at her hips and grabbed the rail with both hands. She moved as weightlessly as a puppet on strings as her legs flipped over her torso, her upper body followed and she was standing again.

“That makes no sense.”

“Go back to your room, girl.”

River sat on the railing, her heels hooked on a chain. “Don’t fall.”

“Gorram loon. I’m the one sittin’ down.” He swung an arm at her, as one would shoo a pesky animal. “Git on.”

She hopped down and just stood next to him for a moment. “Please, don’t fall.” Her hand ghosted over her heart in a gesture that Jayne could choose to ignore and she turned away. “You don’t want to fall.”