Author: Tinadoll (aka Tina- That’s me!) Setting: After BDM- No Wash or Book. Rating: R to NC-17. Spoilers: Yes. Author’s note: REPOST. Don’t remember if this chapter was Beta’d or not. I try to do the best I can editing by myself but you can do nice by just ignoring all the mistakes. Dong ma? Disclaimer: Firefly is the brainchild of Joss Whedon-I'm just playing around with it.

Chapter 10: The Problem with Skirts For the first time in a long while she was speechless. She saw that his jaw clenched. He wasn’t b-sing her. But she knew he may regret this decision but for right now- he was dead serious.

She hoped this was not a large and terrible joke?

On one hand it scared her, but on the other she was happy to get a second chance.

Confusion-This was not what the profile said he was like. It said he was hard and reserved. It also had said something about tight pants…But it said nothing of compassion. Big brother was wrong.. Dead wrong…

“What do you think of me?” she asked, hesitantly. “I mean, working for you and all.” He gave her a reassuring smile. His blue eyes shone like the stars. “You ain’t perfect, but we need a pilot and someone who can cook worth a damn,” he said and added “But’ll be hard.” “What’s your crew goin to think?” she asked, wanting to know. She knew that she didn’t want to be at odds with them. She already knew whom she was going to butt heads with. “I don’t know, why you don’t ask them.” He said and then added: “They are all listening from the hall,” he said his voice raised ever so slightly to indicate they could enter now. His face went from stone cold to a much warmer state. She relaxed some.

She sat back in her chair. So that’s what she had heard! She responded and couldn’t keep herself from laughing “You know-I figured that already!”

“What gave ‘em away?” he added, chuckling as well. He knew his crew very well and she didn’t know them very much at all. Perhaps she had read them?

“I could hear Jayne munching on his chips.” she said, rolling her eyes.

From the corner of her eye she could see Jubal Early walk by the door a sudden and an eerie wind blew Kaylee’s hair as she emerged from the aft door. A couple of them were laughing at the concept of Jayne being a big oaf -except for Jayne who was still crunching on his chips not even caring about the joke on him.

“Hardy har har,” he said as he took a seat at the table.

Zoë and Simon weren’t laughing but looked at each with tension on each of their faces. Mal caught his breath- “Well there no secrets on this boat,” he said but stopped and looked at Zoë who was still untrusting. But he then added, “Just one thing,”

“And what would that be?” she asked kindly to her new boss.

“If you kill Jayne- you get to do more work but at the same pay,” he said and garnered a great deal more laughter.

“What’s wrong with more work?” she asked jokingly.

Jayne’s eyes grew wide: “HEY!” he exclaimed. *** Somewhere out in the black the Chairman was seething mad. He was sitting at his desk already frustrated at the day’s numbers and the fact that he was tired of Serenity interfering with wanting to get his way.

Then she had come to see him. What could be worse then her?

He lightly and regally touched the button on his desk. “ She can come in,” he said, as he spoke into the speaker, displeased as all hell.

The door opened and she stepped forward.

She was tall, thin and wearing all white. Her white Kabuki makeup hid her real age because she was older then Maria by almost a decade. That didn’t matter because her reflexes worked and she was at peak performance. She had been training since childhood and then was summarily married off without her consent.

“Lady Yoshida,” he started, humbly. “I am very sorry for your loss.” He knew that Yoshida had gotten what he deserved but he had to explain the loss. Was he murdered or was it an accident? If it got out that he had let Scorpion kill him-all respect for him and his company would be lost.

“I have heard a rumor about my husband,” she started, cutting the formalities. She had the grace of one of the great cats of prey that hunted on Earth-that-was.

The Chairman mused silently to himself. She was a respected member of the community and a snake in the grass. Whoever spilled the beans among the Rogue’s that were there would have hell to pay.

“And?” he asked finally. “I want you to stop lying to me about my dearly departed husband,” she said, stone faced. Dearly departed? Who was this woman kidding? She was Lady Macbeth incarnate. She didn’t care for anyone-only for money and power. She hadn’t slept with her husband for years and they lived separate lives.

“That’s company business and was an unfortunate “accident”,” he said plainly and crossed his fingers.

Her quiet demeanor escaped. She was quite the hell-cat.

“You will tell me NOW,” she ordered, the lines of anger showing through her doll-like façade. She had the ability to make his life a living hell.

“It was a woman,” he said simply, giving into her demands.

“And who was this woman?” she asked, regaining composure.

“Her name was Scorpion and she was one of our Highest echelon Operatives,” he said, as he lifted a glass to his lips to take a drink of Scotch.

“And was she dealt with?” she said, stone cold.

He sipped and put the glass back on the table. “She was. But due to an unseen course of events, she lived,” he said not beating around the bush. “How?” she asked, her anger growing.

“She had help,” he said; as he proceeded tell her the whole story. Even the part about how Scorpion had been in Mr. Yoshida’s bed. How could he betray her like that? An operative! Of all people.

“She. is. Mine.” she said simply, and something that they both agreed upon it.

***

She had been out of the room no longer then ten minutes when the Chairman called an old friend.

“Dr West…. Project Hera is a go…” he said. *** “Can you even see out of that thing,” Kaylee said, gawking at Maria’s eye patch. “Yea I sure can,” Maria said, she said pulling off her eye-patch. “I use this eye patch when I needed to use my fake eye, when I am off duty I used my good eye and covered my fake one. It helps with depth perception. I only use it on occasion now; I learned there is an off switch. But I use it because it helps with my chronic headaches.”

Kaylee responded with an “Oh.”

“I don’t like that patch,” Mal said as he crossed his arms. “Since you don’t need it, I don’t want to you use it.”

“Why not Capt?” she asked as she tried to keep River from leaning on her. However, River was winning, and after several minutes was triumphant and leaned on her shoulder, all the while reading a book.

“Because it reminds me of pirates,” he said, pouting. He was not pirate but a businessman trying to keep his family together.

“Arrrrg.” Jayne said with a belly laugh. Everyone followed him by laughing.

She was just about tell Jayne to “stuff it” when he interrupted her.

“Does this mean I can have my pick of the womanly folk?” Jayne said in a serious tone of voice. He put one of his big mitts behind his head and pointed to Maria “her” he said. She looked up at him with her blue and brown eye conveying some sort of emotion as her heart skipped a beat. He didn’t notice because he then proceeded to point at Inara, Zoë and then Kaylee. “In that order please.” And then he pointed at River and added: “And then maybe her.”

“Hey, that’s not funny,” Kaylee said, half laughing, half disgusted. She clung to Simon just a little bit tighter.

Mal put his face in his hands. Inara made a face and scooted closer to the Captain.

“Jayne, what did I tell you about getting nasty?” Zoë said her usual monotone self. Perhaps she would shoot him herself. That would be hi-larious.

Jayne was about to respond when Simon interrupted him.

“Can I drug him again?” Simon asked, patiently. He didn’t like the idea of the man-ape even touchin his sister or his woman.

Jayne stood up menacingly but after Zoë shook her head, he sat down again with a grunt.

“At least he saved the best for last,” River said bluntly and then went back to her reading and back to leaning on Maria.

Jayne smiled and sat back down and everyone groaned and protested.

Maria smiled: “Yea, if there is anything left for you ladies after I get through with him,” she said as winked (jokingly of course) and then helped herself to a protein cookie. She really didn’t have any interest in starting anything she couldn’t finish but she loved pulling his chain.

Jayne’s eyes bulged out, a big cat-like grin on his face. More groans from the crew. Simon turned all shades for green. Mal couldn’t take it anymore; he threw his hands in the air and proceeded out of the mess and back to the bridge. Jayne pulled up a chair next to her but she politely brushed him off and everyone went back to conversing.

“Not just a little role playin’?” he said with a big smile.

“No.” she said bluntly.

“I’d let you be on top.” He said after thinking for several moments

“No” she said, with even more enforcement.

After a couple of minutes she couldn’t take Jayne’s advances anymore and she left the mess.

She walked down the corridor to the bridge when she felt a presence behind her. It seemed Zoë had tailed her. She still didn’t trust her but that’s ok. Maria knew that she would save her life and then they would be even. She stepped onto the bridge to see the Capt standing there- The auto pilot had been engaged and he was staring out into the stars.

“So this is it,” she said as she walked on to the bridge. It was small but clean. Well it was kinda clean- there were plastic toy dinosaurs everywhere. She put the one she had in her pocket from before on the dash where there was a diorama.

She heard eerie voices echoing of someone playing with the dinosaurs.

She smiled and turned her attention to Captain Mal.

He didn’t notice she was there because he continued to stare and say nothing. “A penny for your thoughts, sir,” she said, simply as she put her hand on his arm. She was trying to be kind. She respected this man a lot.

“The captain doesn’t share his thoughts, let alone with strangers,” Zoë said, interrupting the conversation.

“Oh Zoë, You are so protective of your Captain. Why can’t you see I have no ill will,” she thought, pensively. They exchanged unfriendly glances.

The captain broke the silence: “You just head to the bunk now and get some rest. We will talk tomorrow about your duties and your pay,” he said kindly, dismissing her from the bridge. He smiled a reassuring smile but Zoë still stood triumphant by his side. “Yes, sir,” she said, silently. She looked at Zoë again but this time she kept her look clean. She then turned heel and left the bridge without another word. She ran into Jayne, who was eavesdropping. He had finished his chips and was just chilling. Had he been waiting for her? “She hated me at first too,” he said, crossing his arms. “As a matter of fact, she never did warm up to me. It’s been ever worse since…” his voice trailed off. He didn’t say what he was referring too. She didn’t bother to ask. She knew that the rest of the crew had things hidden and didn’t want to pry. “Yea well, she has every reason to be suspicious, I’m going to kill everyone in their sleep,” she said, sarcastically. “Like hell you are,” he said, laughing at her. “Mal’ll throw you out an airlock first,” he said laughing but then remembered what had happened to her and then shut up. “Again,” she said, chuckling. Unlike him, she had a sense of humor. She looked at the big lug and wondered: why was he being so nice all of a sudden? They walked along the corridor towards her quarters when she politely bid him a good night. “Hey I ain’t tired. I have a set of weights in the cargo bay and, well wouldja spot me. Shepard ain’t here anymore…” his voice trailed off again like he had secrets to hide, and he scratched his head. She didn’t bother to ask, again. Man wanted to keep his secrets. “I could use the company,” he said, pleadingly. She surmised that he was trying to spend more time with her. “Sure,” she said, she felt River’s eyes staring at her from somewhere and she felt uncomfortable. “Just give me a few minutes to change into my workout clothes.” He nodded and she went into her quarters. She changed into a simple tank and shorts combo and joined him in the cargo bay. He was sitting on the workout bench doing arm curls, shirtless. “You know no one gave me the grand tour yet,” she said, as she picked up a set of weights. They were 30 pounds of pure steel, far less than she could handle. She started doing arm curls as well. “Nothing much to show,” he said, continuing to do sets of arm curls. “You saw the mess, the infirmary, crew quarters and this fine place is the cargo hold. Nothing to see in the engine room ‘cept Kaylee tinkerin’. Never interfere with that girl and her tinkerin’,” he said with a shudder. “I would still like to show you my bunk if you’re interested,” he added, winking and doing a set. He looked like he was having difficulty concentrating on doing arm curls and keeping a conversation going with the dressed down ex-operative. “Thanks, but No thanks,” she said a little too quickly. If she were to survive on Serenity she would have to keep her nose out of trouble. And this guy had “trouble” written all over him. But she was attracted to him. She had no idea why. Even though her loins ached at the sight of this man. He was big and sweaty and at that moment she would have liked to see his bunk and at the same time woken up every single soul on Serenity. She smiled as she had fond fleeting memories of what happened between them. In an effort to change the subject she tried making a joke at his expense. “Besides I already smelled it as I walked by it. You really need to do laundry.”

“Yea, Kaylee says the same thing,” he said, puzzled as he continued to exercise. Maria put down the weights and sat down on the bench, parallel to him. She took the weights out of his hands and pushed him down. He smirked but misinterpreted her actions. She wasn’t being sexual (well she wasn’t trying to be) but was trying to encourage him to pick up the heavy weights.

“I came down here to spot you and not to work on my arms,” she said as she stood up and stood behind the bench. She stood over him and gave him a stern look. “Now ya pansy, lets see what you can do.”

“Alright woman! But don’t cheat now,” he said as he set up for the first rep.” I don’t to see any womany parts while I try to work out.” She rolled her eyes and smirked. So that’s how their relationship was going to proceed. She smacked the back of his head and he laughed.

She stood behind him and counted each one. He got up until 345 and then stopped. He seemed tired. Perhaps he was preoccupied with trying to peek up her shirt again. “Giving up already pansy??” she said, mockingly. She wasn’t being nasty; she was just trying to motivate him.

“I was distracted,” he said, annoyed. “Let’s see if you can do better.” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“You are distracted way too easily,” she said, more annoyed then anything. He was taxing on her last nerve. She thought he really liked her and that he really didn’t want to be nice to her but he was only thinking with his loins. “I bet you say the same thing about bright lights.”

“Well I am sorry for being a man then” he said, sarcastically. “Good Skirt well, distracts me.”

She turned red. “Skirt?” she said, now seething mad. “I ain’t skirt.” She turned heel and was about to leave but turned to say “And if I was, I sure wouldn’t be *your* skirt.” She then turned back around and headed for her quarters and passed Inara, who had been getting tea and watched the sparks fly.

He stood up, still sweating from the exercise.

“Whadiddo wrong?” he asked, genuinely puzzled.

River popped out from her hiding place. “Everything,” she said, simply