Author: Tinadoll (aka Tina- That’s me!)

Setting: After BDM- No Wash or Book.

Rating: R to NC-17.

Spoilers: Yes.

Author’s note: REPOST. Don’t remember if this chapter was Beta’d or not. I try to do the best I can editing by myself but you can do nice by just ignoring all the mistakes. Dong ma?

Disclaimer: Firefly is the brainchild of Joss Whedon-I'm just playing around with it.

Chapter 11: Bang Bang Bang bang, he shot me down Bang bang, I hit the ground Bang bang, that awful sound Bang bang, my baby shot me down

She went back to her bunk and kicked the bed in anger. But it hurt her foot and she collapsed on the floor in pain. She had it up to her neck with men. And now she was starting a new life and she thought Jayne liked her. “

“Great” she thought out loud. “I get the biggest schlemiel in the ‘verse. Someone get me a love bot for petes sake.”

He may have liked her but he surely didn’t respect her. She punched the wall. What a pendejo(asshole). She hated her situation and that she couldn’t do anything about it.

“What if I could change my situation?” she said to the tired looking woman in the mirror.

But what would that entail- mutiny? Hurting these people?

She got up from the floor and plopped down on the bed.

Her dreams of the white knight coming to save her on his white horse -didn’t exist. What was left was this shell of a woman , stripped of her defenses, sitting in a room moping. The big bad Scorpion alter-ego was nothing more but a mere shadow.

There was a light tap at her door.

She managed to pull herself together as she said “Enter.”

Inara the companion looked ever so radiant in her sari as she gracefully entered the room.

“He has no right to call you that,” she said, as she moved over and put her hand on Maria’s shoulder. “You will come to find that some men will never learn. And you will also see some men are kind and gentle,” she mused sadly.

Maria knew she was speaking about the Captain by the way she sighed.

“Thank you Ms. Inara,” Maria said as she bowed slightly. She had much respect for the companion, who now was higher above the social chain then she was.

“Just Inara,” she said, correcting her. Maria smiled. “Ok Inara, thank you.”

Inara smiled back and left.

Maria slipped into the bed and turned towards the wall. Jubal appeared and was in a chair.

“Well that’s something- Most of them hate you, but you are gaining ground one by one. Soon you can have the girl and gain your reward,” he said smiling.

She gave him a look. “You’re going to go away now.” She closed her eyes and he was gone. *** She tossed and turned in her sleep. Capt. Mal was having a nightmare about Serenity Valley and she had picked it up. He was tossing and turning in his bed and in his dream he was running and trying to save his men with no avail. She stood there in her white nightgown with her arm stretched trying to save him but he ran too quickly. When she opened her eyes, she stared at the ceiling and tried to focus on sleep. Somewhere Jayne had his guitar and was strumming. He seemed very sad and lonely. And he only did it at night, for it broke the monotony of the silent harshness of the black and it reminded him that he wasn’t alone. He began to sing lightly. His voice deep and raspy: “Someone told me long ago There's a calm before the storm I know It's been coming for some time When it's over so they say It'll rain on a sunny day I know Shining down like water” She tried to go back to sleep but failed. She whispered the chorus of the song in an effort to speed up the process. “I wanna know Have you ever seen the rain? I wanna know Have you ever seen the rain? Coming down on a sunny day.” He continued strumming the beat and singing the song…

”Yesterday and days before Sun is cold and rain is hard I know It's been that way for all my time Till forever on it goes Through the circle fast and slow I know And it can't stop I wonder”

She closed her eyes and her mind and tried to shut him out. Like a toothache, her pain dulled and she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

*** The next day Maria awoke with another one of her infamous headaches. She knew it was later in the morning but really didn’t know what time it was. She got out of bed and staggered over to the sink to refresh her face. When she looked in the mirror she saw something that startled her- it was a tired person, well beyond her years. She yawned and got dressed ,reluctantly. For there was nothing she could do about it,she was old and tired. The years had caught up with her. When she emerged from her quarters Kaylee passed her heading towards the mess hall for breakfast. “Hey sleepy head,” she said cheerily. “Capt’s is about to do his pre-job “pep-talk.” She made quote signs as she spoke. “But it ain’t never worked.” She laughed and Maria walked with her to the mess. There she saw Zoë and Captain Reynolds musing over some blue prints. She was that Simon was making River’s breakfast and Jayne was nowhere to be found. “So where’s Jayne?” Kaylee asked, beating Maria to the punch. “Where do you think? Big do-do heads probably still asleep.” River said, staring at bowl Simon had passed her. Maria guessed that by the look on her face that she was tired of plain ole protein. “Here- allow me,” Maria said and River passed her the bowl. She grabbed the pot away from Simon(with much protest) and proceeded over to the stove and counter. Maria poured the protein back into the pot and mixed in some herbs that she found in a tin. She then thickened it up and formed it into dumplings. She then put them in the steamer for a few seconds to finish the job. She passed the dumplings to Simon who didn’t thank her. River immediately took two and ate them without a moments notice. She made a gagging noise and Simon gasped.

“You poisoned her!” he said all of a sudden.

Maria sighed.

But River reassured him that it was just hot.

Simon however, sniffed them before taking a small bite. He liked what he tasted so he ate them.

She looked at Zoë and Mal who were still lost in their blue prints. Kaylee grabbed one and was amazed. “You CAN cook!” she exclaimed,as she grabbed some more dumplings. Maria stood there in triumph-too bad she was covered in protein dust because it would have looked dignified. At that same moment, Jayne walked in with his arsenal. “Did I hear something about cooking?” Mal interrupted him. “Yes, our new pilot can cook. And since that was part of her job description…” he hinted. It took her a moment. Then she mouthed the word “oh” and summarily got the hint. She went back behind the stove and rustled up a horde of dumplings, mainly because Jayne ate like he was a bottomless pit (Much to her chagrin). She was happy to be working even though no one had thanked or even complimented her (just an odd exclamation by Kaylee and a smile from River, who had her mouth full at the time). She didn’t care. It was honest work and there was nothing dangerous going on. After she cleaned up the kitchen and everyone settled down the captain motioned for her to follow him. She noticed how Zoë was giving instructions to everyone in the crew excluding her. They walked down the corridor and then stepped on to the bridge, without a word. “I get it,” she said, realizing her folly, “I’m not wanted here. I get it,” she said again repeating her first phrase Mal blinked. She didn’t see but felt his inner rage boiling. “Listen something’s are none of your concern, dong ma?” He crossed his arms before continuing. “You do the job, you get paid, no harm no foul.” “I do the job, I get paid, ya’ll stay out of my business.” She said crossing her arms, her angry boiling. “And out of my pants,” she said bluntly. She was getting certain feelings from Jayne that she didn’t like although the Captains mind was elsewhere she knew his thoughts were not about her. “Trust me sister, that ain’t a bridge I am going to cross. But them,Jayne’s a different story. He needs to learn to read the signs. Nobody ever said that man weren’t anything but dumb but he’s the best gun I got. I don’t mind you helping him along, but don’t you be impeadin upon him doing his job. I need him whole, that includes all appendages and both his eyes. As far as your business, you have free range to do anything you want. But don’t be hurtin’ me and mine. I know you ain’t going to go against your word when it comes to River. But this ain’t no daycare. We don’t have to all get along. It’s just nice that we do,” he said smiling a small smile. “Zoë and I aren’t going to get along,” she said, truthfully. “Even though she is my superior, I will respect her. But she hates me for no reason and if she steps over the line, I will too,” she said, her voice trailing off. She knew there was a reason. The Alliance and all they stood for was not to be trusted. Maria was a part pf that web of sin and deceit. She knew that in order to win Zoe’s trust,she would have to shake herself free of that stigma.

They looked at each other and both shared a moment. She was uncomfortable in his glare. He could convey the deepest sensation through his eyes. He was a good man,not what she was use to. There was nothing to fear and she respected him for that. When she went to the sit in the pilot’s chair a deep sensation of loss came upon her and made her stumble. He immediately stepped forward and grabbed her to prevent her from falling. She saw loss. She saw blood. “Are you ok?” he asked, genuinely concerned. “I am a leaf on the wind,” she said, breathlessly. It took several minutes but she regained her composure. The memory was was blurry and it hurt. Mal would have called Simon but she insisted that he didn’t. She didn’t want anyone else to know that she was weak. She really wanted to know what triggered it and now was not the time. She would have to keep her burning questions to herself. She looked up at his face had already turned several shades of white. The color came back into her face and she let go. “We are two hours out. Go prepare your crew. I can take it from here,” she said as sat down and did her thing. She didn’t hear him leave but he did. Now she was alone on the bridge. The two hours went by with quick vengeance. Serenity was a good vessel and landed easily. The atmo on this world was good and it was a clear enough day for a first landing. Her first day on the job was going smoothly. So what now? And she waited. And she waited some more. It was a game of waiting. She just sat that and monitored but nothing happened. After awhile Kaylee came in and mentioned that she was going to go to town to buy supplies for the ship. It was the previous pilot’s duty and the Captain didn’t want Maria to get overwhelmed so fast. Maria saw through the bullshit.

“I have a bad feeling Kaylee, let me do it. I assure you I know people on this world and I would probably save Captain Mal some money” she said, surely. Kaylee attempted to dissuade her but after awhile she reluctantly agreed. She put her foot down in a pair of sensible boots but there was something lodged in the foot. It was money. She didn’t realize that she stored her money in her shoe. She hid it at a bottom of a drawer. It was a hot day and the noon day sun was beating down on Serenity when she opened the cargo bay doors. The town wasn’t that far away but she took the mule. She found a couple of her old contacts and proceeded to do business. She kept in touch with many contacts on several back water worlds in order to keep her business on the down low. And Maria was right; she saved money on the gas and water for the reserves. She also saved money on the packs of protein. She was really proud of the fact that she was able to pass it to Kaylee. “Shiny, Cap’s going to love this,” she said, smiling. But then turned to Maria with a look of horror on her face. She had forgotten that she was supposed to do it- and she had shirken her responsibility. She didn’t want a yelling from Mal.

“Don’t worry, it’s our little secret,” Maria said with a wink. She felt the girls hesitation-poor thing.

And then Kaylee went back to smiling and headed back to supervise the refueling process. Maria had just returned to the bridge when the comm. starting beeping. “We have an emergency, start the engines,” Zoë said urgently. She wasn’t talking to her, just conveying an order. Maria could not do it because they were still refueling and she knew that she couldn’t go nowhere because Inara was still doing business. She relayed a message to her shuttle to cut the stay short. She ran to the cargo bay where River was standing and eerily pointing. “Big boom,” she said, like a drone. She had been missing the whole time and had just reemerged from wherever she had been hiding. Kaylee opened the cargo bay doors and Simon ran in covered in blood. Behind him were Jayne and Zoë carrying the Capt. He had been shot in the gut. They proceeded to the Infirmary and it looked serious. His face was a serious shade of white. “Bad feeling huh,” Kaylee said to Maria with a scared look on her face.