LOST CONVERSATIONS PART XVI 1. WHERE THE CREW MAKES THE PLAN TO RESCUE MAL AND ZOE FROM “The Train Job” INT. SERENITY, BRIDGE Jayne lies on the floor, groggy from Simon’s injection, as Simon, Book, Wash, Inara, and Kaylee stand over him and talk. BOOK I wasn’t talking about me. He looks to Inara. INARA What? Me? I don’t know Shepherd. KAYLEE Oh, Inara, you’d be perfect. Men always do what you say. INARA Not always. Certainly not Mal. SIMON You do have more of an air of respectability than the rest of us. I certainly can’t go, seeing as the Alliance is looking for me, and while the Shepherd is also respectable, we’d need a good cover story and a Shepherd knowing the Captain and Zoe might not seem believable. KAYLEE Cover story? BOOK A reason why Inara knows Zoe and the Captain. (beat) Let’s see... KAYLEE (quiet, a little bashful) How about she’s their friend? BOOK (gentle) She certainly is Kaylee, but it needs to be more serious. Something believable. Something that can get them out of there without raising suspicions. SIMON What was their story for this job? In case they got caught or someone asks questions when Inara goes. Everyone looks to Wash. WASH Beats me. They never told me anything except “fly here Wash” and “pick us up there Wash”. KAYLEE Me neither. They’re always so secretive. INARA Too much so, it seems. Book looks at Jayne. BOOK He went to the meeting with Niska. Wash toes Jayne’s back. WASH Jayne, you listening? JAYNE (slurring) Don’t...wanna...go to school...Ma. KAYLEE Oh, boy. Wash bends down and shouts in his ear WASH Jayne, what was the plan in case they got caught? The cover story. JAYNE Plan...fly us...meet Niska... WASH No, you stupid... Book interrupts. BOOK Jayne, what did Niska say to the Captain? JAYNE Reputation is solid...get on train...packages...newlyweds...looking for work. WASH Newlyweds? Big grins from all. KAYLEE Ain’t Zoe already married? WASH I believe so. INARA I think I have an idea. (beat) Some Companions have servants. Male servants, often indentured, paying off a debt. They do chores, serve as bodyguards, that sort of thing. SIMON More like slaves if you ask me. WASH A slave? To a Companion? That might be a nice life. What are the perks? INARA Not a slave, a servant, and nothing unbecoming happens. At least there’s not suppose to be. My point is that I can say Mal is my servant and he and Zoe ran off because they are in love. KAYLEE The Capt’n as your servant? I’m sure he’d love to be. Inara blushes a bit. INARA Yes, I’d rather enjoy ordering him around for a change. WASH He’s not the type to take orders too well. BOOK It could work. Lets add in some stolen money to make it more believable. You have your Guild papers I’m sure? Inara looks at him in surprise. INARA Always. You seem to know a lot about Companions. BOOK Oh, you get on in years, you pick up bits and pieces from all over. KAYLEE I hate to put a downer on this plan, but how’re you gonna get the Capt’n and Zoe to follow what you’re doing. I mean, he sees you, he’s not gonna know what’s going on. And then you say he’s your servant...might get mad and give away the game. BOOK She’s right. I think you had better not give him a chance to speak first. WASH A good slap in the face always shuts someone up. They all look at him in surprise. SIMON And you’d know this because...? Wash realizes what they are implying. WASH NO, no, Zoe never lay a finger on me, I mean, not in that way, I...you guys got strange ideas sometimes. BOOK We’re wasting time. Inara? INARA (nervous) OK. I’ll do it. (beat) Kaylee, come help me pick out a nice dress. KAYLEE (big grin) Shiny! You have such glamorous clothes! The two women EXIT. Simon looks at Jayne. SIMON We should get him to the infirmary. Wash looks at Jayne who seems to be passed out. WASH He’s gonna be mighty sore at you later Simon, but...thank you. BOOK Not to worry. When the Captain gets back Jayne will be his old self again. Mean and grumpy, but not in charge, as he says SIMON I don’t like his old self either. BOOK He was right about Niska. He will make mince pies of all of us if this deal falls through. Wash and Simon look at Book then each other, a bit wide eyed. SIMON Lets hope it doesn’t come to that. (beat) Help me get him up. The three men move to lift Jayne. 2. WHERE JAYNE AND ZOE SAVE KAYLEE AND WASH IN SERENITY FROM “Heart of Gold” EXT. HEART OF GOLD WHOREHOUSE - DAY Mal jumps on the horse and rides off after Rance Burgess. Zoe, Jayne, and Book and the Heart of Gold people come out and surround the remaining Burgess men, who drop weapons and surrender. ZOE Get their guns. Jayne and some others start collecting guns. Many men lie on the ground, wounded or dead. BURGESS MAN We need a doctor. JAYNE You lucky you all don’t get a bullet in the head after this mess you caused. He looks like he’s ready to shoot him when Book puts a hand on his arm. BOOK There’s been enough killing. Jayne relents and lowers his weapon. Zoe looks worried, looks at the sky. ZOE Where’s Serenity? Where’s Wash and Kaylee? Now everyone is worried. BOOK Best check on them. ZOE Jayne with me. Shepherd...? Book picks up a gun from the ground, dropped by one of the Burgess men. BOOK We’ve got it under control. INT. SERENITY, DINNER AREA - DAY Kaylee is standing by the door to the aft hall, holding it tight, making sure its locked. She steps back just as a bullet hits the little round glass window, but bounces off. Kaylee almost falls off the steps she’s so shocked. BURGESS MAN 2 (O.S.) (shouting) You best open this door little girl if you know what’s good for you! Kaylee just backs away, frightened and then she hears a noise behind her, turns and heaves a huge sigh of relief as she sees Jayne and Zoe, coming forward, guns raised. KAYLEE (scared) Oh thank God! Zoe and Jayne rush forward. ZOE (concerned) What’s happening? Where’s Wash? JAYNE (to Kaylee) You OK? KAYLEE (talking fast, scared) Just got a bad fright. They was waiting for us, three of them. Don’t know how they got in. Was on the cat walk, started firing, but we got out, and then Wash had this plan see, but.. ZOE (interrupting) Kaylee, where’s Wash? KAYLEE In the engine room, I think. We trapped them in the aft hall, but they been trying to break the doors and shot at them. Zoe looks in the glass window, sees the three men. ZOE (shouting) You men! Can you hear me? One of them comes to the window. BURGESS MAN 2 I can hear ya. ZOE Battle’s over. You lost. BURGESS MAN 2 . ZOE Would I be here if you won? BURGESS MAN 2 (beat) Reckon not. ZOE Drop your guns to the deck and get on your knees. BURGESS MAN 2 No rutting way. There’s just three of you and three of us. ZOE Jayne. Jayne steps up to the window, holds up Vera. JAYNE Seems you ain’t learned how to count. There’s four of us, five if you count Vera here. Now you want to be taking a dirt nap like some of your pals or you want to lay down arms. The man turns away from the glass and they can hear him talking to the others. Zoe moves up and Jayne steps back. KAYLEE (to Jayne) Everyone OK? JAYNE A few of the whores got hit and Nandi...think someone said she’s dead. KAYLEE Oh, God. (beat) Capt’n? JAYNE (whisper) Off chasing Burgess. He run away. KAYLEE Inara, Book, River and...Simon? JAYNE They’s fine. Doc’s fine, don’t worry, delivered that baby too I think, least I think I heard a baby crying. KAYLEE That’s good to hear. The Burgess man comes back to the window. BURGESS MAN 2 OK, but you gives your word you ain’t gonna kill us. ZOE You have my word. BURGESS MAN 2 Don’t know I trust you. ZOE Ain’t got much choice. BURGESS MAN 2 Reckon not. ZOE Guns down. (beat) On your knees. Jayne hands Kaylee a pistol. She holds it awkwardly. ZOE (CONT’D) Ready. Jayne and Kaylee nod. Zoe opens the door and Jayne is first in, Vera pointed at the men on their knees. JAYNE Make a move and your dead. Zoe and Kaylee move in. ZOE Get their guns, Kaylee. Kaylee starts collecting guns as Jayne covers her and Zoe goes to the engine room door. ZOE (CONT’D) Wash? The door opens and a very relieved Wash comes out, gives her a quick hug. WASH Oh, baby, am I glad to see you. ZOE Husband, how did you end up in the engine room? He gives a sheepish grin and looks at Kaylee. WASH Well, we had to improvise and the plan was good but...backwards, a little. KAYLEE Just a wee bit. ZOE Well, it all turned out for the best. Let’s get out of here. She turns to the three men. ZOE (CONT’D) On your feet. They get up and Zoe and Wash check them for more weapons and they have none. ZOE (CONT’D) Move it. And they start walking out of the aft hall toward the dining area. 3. WHERE MAL SELLS THE LASSITER SOMETIME AFTER “Objects in Space” INT. SERENITY, BRIDGE Mal, Zoe, and Wash are here, Wash in pilot’s seat. Mal is talking to Fanty on the Cortex screen. FANTY It’s solid, Mal. Man has reputation for collecting rare items. Agreed to your price. If you really have the item in question, that is. MAL I ain’t doubting your word, Fanty, so don’t be doubting mine. Jus’ don’t want to be settling business in a stranger’s backyard. Got no friends on Kitan. FANTY Have I ever steered you wrong, Mal? The buyer is good and has the cash. Mal looks at Zoe and she nods yes. MAL OK, but we meet him in high orbit over Kitan, on Serenity. No more than two men with him, no weapons. FANTY I’m sure he will agree. Now don’t forget that 20% of this deal is mine and my brother’s. MAL 20% is might high. I think I might jus’ keep it for myself, start my own collection. FANTY 15%. MAL Deal. Wave us when he agrees. He don’t agree, no deal. FANTY As you wish. Ta for now. Screen dies. Zoe looks worried. MAL What? ZOE Can't trust them. Fanty, Mingo, nor the buyer. WASH Who can we trust? MAL Might be time to put little sister to work earning her keep. INT. DINING ROOM - LATER Mal has all the troops here, stands before them as they sit sipping coffee and tea with empty supper plates in front of them. MAL Man is a fancy dandy, Chinese fellow, collects rare items. Doesn’t like to come here but only way I’ll deal. He’ll bring two bodyguards, ain’t suppose to have weapons but I’m sure they will. We'll meet 'em at the airlock. Zoe be by my side, Jayne on the catwalk above, Kaylee and Wash your stations, Simon, infirmary, Inara and Book just make yourselves scarce. Fewer people around, happier he’ll be. SIMON (to River) Stay with me during this. Mal shakes his head. MAL No, Doc, I want River next to me also. Shocked looks from all except Zoe. SIMON What? What for? MAL We all know what she can do. SIMON She can’t read minds. It’s absurd. MAL Doc, that story’s getting old. We know it, she knows it, so why not jus’ admit it. Simon doesn’t know what to say. RIVER (to Mal) You want me to see if the buyer is honest, if the bodyguards are planning anything. Mal just grins. MAL Well, Doc, that’s all the proof I need cause that’s exactly what I’m thinking. SIMON (mad) You’re not putting my sister in danger! MAL It ain't dangerous, just two business men making a deal. Zoe and Jayne be there and River ain't exactly a novice when it comes to gunplay. JAYNE That's a fact. INARA Mal, Simon’s right, it’s too dangerous. You don't know these people. RIVER I’ll do it. BOOK I agree with Inara. RIVER I said I’ll do it. MAL Good. No more arguments, unless you’re all forgetting whose boat this is. Clean up here and then everyone to their places. Man be here in thirty minutes. He walks away to the fore hall and then downstairs and Zoe follows. Jayne goes to his bunk and down and Wash goes to the bridge. Kaylee and Inara start picking up the supper dishes while Book, Simon and River remain seated. KAYLEE Don’t worry Simon. Everything be alright. SIMON (dejected) Yes, I’m sure it’ll be “all right”. Just like on Jiangyin and Ariel and half a dozen other places and situations. That man’s going to drive us off “his boat”. Kaylee stops in mid stride with a handful of dishes. KAYLEE (surprised) What? SIMON If he sells the Lassiter and if I get my share, and River’s since she’ll be helping, that’ll be more than enough to leave. Kaylee just looks at him, her face falling and finally Simon notices. SIMON (CONT’D) (softly) Kaylee, I'm...just, I mean, I don't know. Maybe we’ll leave. I’m just tired of him pushing us around. BOOK Yes, seems Serenity is getting a little less homey these days. INARA (subdued) I know what you mean. Kaylee puts down the dishes on the table. KAYLEE (looking at all, almost in tears) All you thinking the same? (beat) Don’t leave. Please. Simon won’t even look at her. Inara turns away. Book smiles at Kaylee. BOOK Not today Kaylee. Not today. And she just breathes deep, blinks back her tears and quickly walks toward the engine room. Simon turns and watches her go. RIVER (to Simon) You’re an idiot. And she gets up and walks toward the aft hall as Simon just stares off into space. INT. CARGO BAY - LATER Mal, Zoe and River stand near the airlock. Jayne is on the catwalk above, hiding behind some crates, heavily armed. The airlock opens and two heavy set men, tall, blond hair, in suits, enter, look around. One carries a large briefcase, and they turn as a very fat Chinese man, in silken robes, jeweled hands and an effeminate air about him, enters. BUYER Malcolm Reynolds? MAL I’m Captain Reynolds. Mal moves to shake hands but the Buyer doesn’t reach out and Mal drops his hand, forces a grin. BUYER You have my item? MAL You have my cash? One of the men holds up the brief case but doesn’t open it. Slowly River starts walking around the men, looking at them. They eye her suspiciously. BUYER What's this? MAL Not to worry. Just making sure you are what you say you are. After a moment River looks at Mal and nods. Mal turns to Zoe and she goes to the yellow case with the spacesuits, opens it, gets the Lassiter and returns, hands it to the buyer, his eyes shining with greed. BUYER Oh, my, oh, dear, it’s so...lovely, oh, how did you get it? MAL Found it by the side of the road. So we got a deal? The Buyer looks very carefully at the weapon, finds a serial number, then checks a piece of paper. His eyes light up. BUYER It’s real! He nods to his man who hands the brief case to Mal. Mal opens it and he and Zoe see a pile of cash. BUYER (CONT’D) Count it. MAL No need. Looks real enough and if it ain’t I know where to find you. BUYER Yes, of course. (beat) Well, Captain Reynolds, that concludes our business. Good-day. MAL Nice doing business with you. And they leave and Mal closes the airlock door.