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Archangel – Chapter Twelve
Wednesday, January 23, 2008

River reaches out to Jayne


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2202    RATING:     SERIES: FIREFLY

Archangel – Chapter Twelve Author owns no rights to Firefly, and receives no pay for his work. --------------------- Kaylee sat on the sofa in the lounge, just outside the infirmary. Her arms were hugged to her, as she rocked slowly back and forth, humming a song that her mother used to sing when she was scared. It had been nearly twelve hours since Jayne had been taken to the infirmary. And he hadn’t so much as moved a muscle that anyone could see. Simon had finally gone to bed, exhausted from working not just on Jayne, but the refugees from Beaumond as well. He had smiled at her, encouragingly, before he left. “He’s tough, Kaylee, and strong,” he’d said gently. “He’ll make it.” Kaylee had been grateful to Simon for that. It was out of character for him, in her new view of the ‘verse. She looked up as River glided into the lounge. “Any change?” the little assassin asked, sitting down beside her friend. “No,” Kaylee replied, tears flowing gently down her face. “Have you tried talking to him?” River asked, and Kaylee looked at her. “Talking to him? River he ain’t awake!” Kaylee exclaimed. “How can I talk to him?” “He may can hear you,” River shrugged. “Not unheard of, you know.” “I don’t. . .I can’t think. . .” “Kaylee, why don’t you go and lie down,” River suggested, rubbing her friend’s shoulder. “I’ll stay here for a while. I promise I’ll come and get you, if there’s any change at all.” “I should be here,” Kaylee resisted. “You need rest, Kaylee,” River urged gently. “You need to be rested when he awakens. He will need you, very much I think, when he does.” “He will?” Kaylee asked, hope in her voice. “You know, we was talkin’ right before everything happened and all,” she sniffed. “He was about to tell me he was gonna stay here with me, River. I know he was.” “Yes, I think he was,” River smiled. “Jayne loves you very much, Kaylee. More than anything in the ‘verse, in fact. Loved you so much, he was willing to leave here in order to keep you safe.” “He’d never hurt me,” Kaylee almost whispered. “I can feel it, River. He’d never lift a hand to me, or even say anything to hurt me. Not ever.” “No, he wouldn’t,” River smiled. “Not ever. He would die, first, I believe, such is his love for you. But he fears, Kaylee. He fears that he would hurt you by accident, and that fears pushes him beyond reason. Beyond hope.” “I can help him,” Kaylee told her. “I can, I know I can. He ain’t never like that when I’m around.” “I believe you are right,” River nodded. “And I have told him that. Just before. I think. . .I think he wants to believe, and that he will, if we help him. But you need rest, if you’re going to be here when he awakens, and be a help to him. Go and lie down, and I will wait here.” “Promise you’ll call me when something happens?” Kaylee asked. She was very tired. “Promise,” River nodded. Kaylee hugged her smaller friend and walked up the stairs, heading to her bunk. River watched her go, then turned her gaze to the infirmary. “You will not leave her, Jayne Cobb,” she whispered softly, then leaned back and closed her eyes. There was more than one way to communicate. ----------------------------- He was lying on the riverbank, head propped on one hand, idly tossing small pebbles into the water. It was a beautiful spot. The water was a soothing sound, flowing across the rocks, small rapids forming in the larger drop offs. Several deer were grazing nearby, paying him no mind at all. He smiled at that, thinking that if he were still on Serenity, he’d likely shoot one, for fresh meat for the crew. He had made the right decision, he knew. Leaving was the best thing. It still hurt to think of Kaylee, but she was far better off without him. He wished that wasn’t so, but it was, and that was all there was to it. And he had it pretty good, here. A little land, a few odd jobs, and plenty to do. A calm and quiet life, that was the secret. Calm and. . . “Ow!” Jayne exclaimed, as he felt something hit him in the rear. He turned to see. . . “What are you doin’ here?” he demanded. River Tam was standing behind him, hands on her hips. She’d obviously kicked him. “And why are you kickin’ me?” “Boob!” she hissed, and he was startled by that. “Hey! That’s Simon’s gig, not mine!” he protested. “And what did I do to earn that kick, I’d like to know?” “You are lying here, selfishly, while Kaylee waits for you to return!” River told him angrily. Jayne frowned at that. “River, are you having a spell?” he asked. “And how did you get here, anyway? Is the ship here?” “We are in your own mind, boob!” River replied, kicking him again. “Stop kickin’ me!” Jayne demanded, getting to his feet. “I ain’t done nothin’ to deserve that!” “You are laying here, trapped in your mind, while Kaylee frets that you may die!” River told him. “Enough is enough, Jayne Cobb. It’s time to come home.” “I am home, River,” Jayne said carefully. “This is my home, right here. Are you sure you’re all right? And you still ain’t told me how you. . .Ow! Gorramit, if you kick me one more time, I swear I’ll. . .” “What?” River demanded. “Hit me? We’re in your mind, Jayne. Can you hurt me?” Jayne looked at her for a moment, then looked away. “You know I won’t,” he mumbled, still angry at being kicked. River smiled at that, finally. “No, I know you won’t,” she agreed. “Jayne, do you remember what happened to you?” she asked, arms crossing under her breasts. “Do you know how you got here?” “I left the ship on Beaumond,” Jayne told her. “You know that. Then I took a job on a little freighter that came here. Got me a piece o’ land, and a few little odd jobs here and there. Doing pretty good, really,” he smiled. “Where is here, Jayne?” River asked. “What?” Jayne looked at her as if she were. . .well, she was, kinda, he remembered. “Where are we, Jayne? What world or moon is this?” “Oh. It’s. . .” Jayne frowned, his voice trailing off. How could he forget what gorram planet he lived on? “Jayne,” River told him softly, “we were attacked by reavers on Beaumond. You fought them off, alone, to give Mal, and Inara, and Zoe time to return to the ship. You were injured when we got you on board. Simon fixed you, and now you are lying in the infirmary. We are currently on our way to Celeste to offload the refugees we picked up during the attack.” Jayne looked at her, confusion on his face. Reavers? He didn’t fight no reavers. Did he? “Nah,” he smiled. “I get it now. You’re messin’ with me! Where’s ever’body else? Hidin’ in the. . .OW! Stop doin’ that!” He hopped on one leg, rubbing his shin. “Stop pretending,” River shot back. “You. Are. In. The. Infirmary. Jayne.” She bit off each word. “And it’s time to come back.” Jayne frowned again, as a memory whipped by him. An image of a man, dark skinned, grey hair, a soft voice. Not weak, no. Strong, yet soft. Like steel, or iron. Yeah, like iron, wrapped in silk. Suddenly everything came rushing back to him, and he reeled, light headed. “Kaylee,” he whispered. “River is Kaylee okay? Are you?” “We’re all fine, Jayne,” River smiled softly. “Thanks to you, everyone is safe, and the ship is away. All that remains is for you to return.” Jayne’s face fell at that, as he remembered why he was here. “I can’t,” he told her miserably. “I can’t ever go back, River. And you shouldn’t be here. You should go, while you can.” “You can go back,” River insisted. “Kaylee is waiting for you, Jayne. Right now. All you have to do is wake up.” “No, River,” Jayne shook his head. “That’s just it. I can’t go back. Not now. It’s too late for that.” River’s mouth was open to ask why when suddenly the peace was shattered by a soul-wrenching howl, a scream really. A piercing wail of pure rage. River shrieked in spite of herself, and jumped behind Jayne, grabbing his shirt. “What was that?” she asked, suddenly a little girl again. “That’s the reason I can’t go back,” Jayne told her miserably. He sat down, and River went with him, staying glued to his back. “What is it?” she whispered, looking over his shoulder, across the river where the howl had originated. “It’s me,” Jayne’s voice was despondent. “Part of me, anyway,” he added. “And he’s angry. Very angry. He’s been. . .caged, I guess, for a very long time. Only now, he’s loose, and he’s strong. I. . .I don’t think I can get him back in the cage, so to speak.” He looked at her, grinning. “Told you my mind wasn’t no place for you to be, River.” “How can that be you, when you are here, with me?” River asked in confusion. “I ain’t the genius in this outfit, Moony,” Jayne reminded her. “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just . . . that’s the part of me that makes me. . .what I am.” “What are you?” River asked, curious. “I’m. . .complicated,” Jayne snorted. “Book said I was doubly cursed,” he laughed. “Course it seems ole Book mighta lied to me a little, along the way, so I can’t be sure that’s the truth.” “Preacher Man? Lie?” River was astounded. “Seems so,” Jayne sighed. “He told me that once he was finished with me, if I ever needed the. . .demon, let’s call him,” he smiled, “that I would be able to use him, and then force him back down. Only I can’t,” he added glumly. “Why not?” River asked. “Too strong,” Jayne shrugged. “Too mad. Too. . .too much,” he finished with another shrug. “Too far gone,” he added in a whisper. “I knew it would happen, one day,” he admitted. “That one day I’d lose. . .well, my mind, I guess. That I’d go off the deep end. Helluva time for it to happen, though.” “What is wrong with you, Jayne?” River asked softly. “Tell me, please.” Jayne looked at her for a moment, debating, then shrugged. “Can’t make no difference now, I guess,” he admitted. “Long time ago, before the war. . .” ------------------------ “How long’s she been like that?” Mal asked, as he and Simon stared down at River. She was leaned back on the sofa, eyes open, seemingly in a trance. “I don’t know,” Simon admitted. “I just got here, coming to check on Jayne. I found her like this, just as you were coming down the stairs.” “She almost looks asleep,” Mal observed. “‘Cept for her eyes bein’ open.” “I think she’s in a trance of some kind,” Simon nodded. “But I don’t know what triggered it.” “Think we should move her?” Mal asked. Simon thought about that. “I don’t know, Mal,” he finally shrugged. “It might be best to leave her, for now,” he added. “It may be that she is sleeping.” ---------------------- “I’m sorry, Jayne,” River said quietly, not looking at him. “No one should have to live that way.” “Ain’t your fault,” he told her. “And I let go o’ that pity stuff long time ago, kid. Ain’t got the time for it,” he smiled. “You cannot stay here, Jayne,” River’s head cocked to one side. “They’re about to disturb me, Jayne, so I don’t have long. I may not be able to do this again. Kaylee needs you, Jayne. Loves you. Place your faith, your trust, in that. Come back to her, Jayne. Come home.” “River, I can’t. . .” But River was gone. -------------------------- “I don’t think we oughta leave her here, like this,” Mal said. “Too many people in the bay. Folks we don’t know nothin’ ‘bout.” “True,” Simon nodded. “I’ll wake her.” “She is not asleep,” River’s voice startled them both. She looked up at them, rubbing her neck. “What time is it?” “It’s breakfast time, lil witch,” Mal said carefully. “Mind tellin’ us why you was laying there, all wide-eyed, when we came in?” he asked. “Yes,” River said simply, rising from the sofa and stretching. “I’m hungry. Did you say it was breakfast?” With that she walked up the stairs, leaving Simon and Mal looking at each other in confusion. “River!” both men said in unison, starting after her. -------------------- He stood, suddenly, agitated. Damn that girl. He was completely happy, and at peace, for the first time in his life. Why’d she have to disturb that? Jayne walked along the banks of the river, gazing at the water. He could see fish, trout from the look of them, just below the surface. He ought to try and catch a few, he decided. They’d be good for supper. Make a nice change from. . . From what? he wondered suddenly. He couldn’t remember a single meal in the time he’d lived here. Not one. He sat, suddenly, realization dawning. River was right. He was just hiding. Hiding from a fear he didn’t want to face anymore. Hiding from the turmoil that had plagued him all his life. From his feelings for Kaylee. From his responsibility. From. . . "Why did you lie to me, Book?" he asked the river. "Did I?" Jayne whirled to see book standing behind him. The older man smiled. "Hello, Michael." "Stop callin’ me that!" Jayne raged, rising to his feet. "You told me I could control it! That I could use it, and still be. . .me!" "And you can," Book nodded. "And how is it that you’re here in my mind, anyway?" Jayne asked, warily. "I’m not, really," Book shrugged. "I’m just a part of your mind, my son. Your subconscious needed to talk to me, so here I am." "So you ain’t really got any answers for me, then, do ya?" Jayne almost snorted. "You have the answers, Michael," Book replied calmly. "I taught you all you need to know. You know the answers to your questions. Perhaps my being here is your subconscious mind’s attempt to help you see them." "Great," Jayne muttered. "I’m as cracked as the girl ever was," he said bitterly. "She’s trying to help you, Michael," Book said calmly. "Perhaps you should let her." "If’n you and all them monks couldn’t help me, how can she?" Jayne demanded. "By forcing you to see the truth?" Book asked him, smiling. "You are a very stubborn and willful young man, Michael. You almost always close your mind to the idea that the future is not set into stone." "Them monks, even Brother Thomas, told me what was comin’, Book. Did they lie, too?" he challenged. "No one lied to you, Michael, though I can see where you might feel that way. The truth is, no one knows, even now, what may become of you. As I said, you are unique among the brotherhood. One of a kind, as you yourself said once," he smiled. "Then why tell me that I. . .why convince me that one day. . ."Jayne trailed off in frustration. "To prepare you," Book told him simply. "In case their worst fears came to pass. They wanted to help, and that was all they could do. They aren’t infallible, you know." "You can’t stay here,” Book rose from his kneeling pose. "If you do, then you’ll die. You know that." "Maybe that’s best," Jayne murmured. "I’m tired, Preacher. So tired." "I know, son," Book nodded. "But you have to go back. It isn’t your time. Not yet." Jayne looked up sharply at that. "What’s that mean? Not yet?" he asked. "You have work still to do, Michael," Book smiled. "Your friends need you, and others will as well, all too soon. And she needs you, too," he added, smiling wider. "Listen to what River told you, Michael. Allow yourself to hope. It cost’s you nothing, and may bring you everything." With that, Book was gone. He was getting tired of that, people just popping in and out of his mind. Suddenly a rage filled howl pierced the quiet again, drawing his attention across the river. "Damn you!" Jayne screamed, shaking his fists at the shadows lurking on the other side. "I ain’t gonna let you run my life no more! You hear me? You ain’t gonna be in charge, and you ain’t gonna make my decisions for me!" Without another thought, he waded into the water, crossing the river. It was time to wake up. Time to go home.

COMMENTS

Wednesday, January 23, 2008 4:36 AM

MEGG


As always, awesome.


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