Never Did Catch Her Name (But She’s My Wife)

Well, she caught my eye on Daedelus

And I couldn’t look away

Imagine my surprise when she told me

That she felt the same way

That night she promised she’d be mine

And she swept me off my feet

And for eighteen golden hours there

My rapture was complete

Then I woke up hog-tied

In my own bed alone

My gun was gone and so was the safety box

of my Savings & Loan

She took my boat, she took my dog

She damn sure took my pride

And broke my heart in a million pieces

when she told me I was number twenty-nine

But I never did see such a fine lookin’ thief

In all my lonesome life

That dirty low-down deceiver

I never did catch her name, but she’s my wife

Well I tried to forget that wench

With brawlin’ and with beer

With empty threats of cold revenge

That she would never hear

But that little redhead spins me ‘bout

When I think of her still

She has my watch and she has my heart

And I expect she always will

[Chorus]

I met her husband number twelve

Says she’s a nympho thievin’ whore

Says she’ll run you in or sell you out

Like with every man before

But damn, she’s pretty with a gun

Just makes me love her more...

‘Cause I never did see...such a lovely thief

She’ll rob you blind...she’ll learn you grief

Oh, I never did see such a fine lookin’ thief

In all my lonesome life

She’s a dirty low-down deceiver

I was a right fool to believe her

Still I wouldn’t ever leave her

Sweet little what’s-her-name, she’s my wife