Angelle's mine...the rest is Joss's' ----------------------------------------

Insomnia.....the act of really wanting to fall asleep, but realizing that your mind has other ideas, got that problem from my mother. I guess she had to give me something other than my hair color. It's red, by the way and not the carrot top red you might think. It's the kind of red that when wet, it looks black.

My feet took me forward, though my brain was half way between eggplant and snail, not quite gone, but damn close. Eventually, I ended up in the dining area realizing that I was seeing floating strawberries. It took me about five minutes to realize they truly were there, painted on the walls and I had not completely lost my mind, though the jury was still out. The chair I chose to sit in almost whined as I did, mostly because unlike me, it was proabably enjoying a dream where it was actually table. After all, who would want to spend their lives with a butt in your face all the time.

So after twenty five minutes of thinking what else a chair could dream about, I'm telling you that insomnia will do that to you, I just sat back and relaxed. Maybe that was when I noticed I was not alone. "River."

She was standing in the door, hand wrapped in the leather cord of her new necklace looking at me and swaying. Her brown eyes simply stared at me and suddenly, I realized exactly how a goldfish felt. "What was the gator like?"

It was a simple question, but one that completely took me off guard. The teeth had actually been from my first kill, my father stringing them together and each year I would grow, he changed the cord. "Honestly, I was four and I don't remember what he was like."

"Simon and I use to play dinosaurs when we were young. I liked it." She walked toward me, but stopped halfway between, sitting down on the floor with her skirt bellowed out around her. "Did you play any games with your brother?"

I didn't remember saying anything about a brother to her, but I could tell just by the way the ligth hit her eyes, River was different. "No. My brother and I didn't do too much together."

"I know. Kyle said you didn't like him because he took your mother away."

"You knew Kyle?"

"At the Academy, but only for a short time. He left quickly."

"I know. He was killed, though they said he took too many drugs."

"They said a lot. My parents didn't believe me either. Simon rescued me."

"You're lucky."

"I know. Are the gators like dinosaurs?"

She changed the subject, maybe because she could feel the guilt and pain I was dwelling in or she just figured we were done with the piece of conversation. Either way, I was glad."Not quite as big, though we have had them big enough to swallow the Mule you have in the cargo bay."

"Not like the 'earth that was' alligators?" "Maybe slightly. They resemble them with their long snouts and tons of teeth, and they have the same disposition, but are way bigger."

"I would like to see one." She looked up at me.

"Well, maybe after I am done with this, you can." "You are going to kill a man, but do you, yourself know why?"

"No, but I will when I see him.” I had my own reasons for doing what I did and to hell if anyone was going to ask me to justify them. Maybe that's why I had learned to work alone, it was easy to answer to my own conscience and I could tell it to shut up when it got on my nerves.

“What you girls goin' on about this early in the mornin'? Ain't you got nuff sense to be in bed?” Jayne, the merc emerged from the other door dressed in just enough to keep us guessing, but definitely not enough to be any sort of decent. All I will tell you is yellow ducky boxers on a full grown man is one sight too many for me.

“Can't sleep. Talking about dinosaurs.” River swayed as she sat, not really bothered by Jayne's attire and smiled when he sat down with a plate full of fruit.

“Why you want to talk about them for? They been dead longer than us humans been livin'. Gonna be up late, talk about sumthin' more interestin' like how your brother gonna feel when he sees you're up, Moonbrain.” He stuffed his face as I turned to him.

“She's keeping me company, making me feel welcome here. I'm sure her brother would be proud of her.” I liked Jayne, anyone with a love of large weapons was always good in my book, but threatening a little girl with her brother was a bit like tattling and anyone who has ever had siblings know...no one likes a tattle tale.

“Simon might worry, though. I better go to bed.” She stood, but not before sticking her tongue out at Jayne and taking off into the dimly lit hallway.

“Girl is some kind of crazy.” The merc muttered before taking a big bite out of a pear. “Want one?”

“No thanks.” I smiled. “I don't like eating this late.”

“Suit yourself. Good food, though.” He continued as we sat in silence. Mostly, I was getting a bit tired. Maybe that's why his next statement caught me so off guard. “Saw you getting cozy with Mal earlier.”

“I was tossing up my guts into a metal pail.” I looked at him.

“You were yapping, too. Mal don't need no female mucking things up right now. We got goods to deliver and money to get. Distractions like you are just that.”

“Jayne! That's enough.” Kaylee yelped from the door and , yet, another member of the crew joined us. What, did no one on this ship sleep at night?! “Sorry, River told me you were down here alone wit Jayne and it's a good thing I came. Angelle's a passenger on this ship and a payin' one.”

“Oh, come on, Kaylee. Only reason Mal let her on is 'cuz her daddy's a Browncoat.”

“So? Capt'n knows what he's doin'. Besides, she helped you all with Badger. Leave her alone.” Kaylee defended me and in this light, I could understand why Mal had asked her to join the crew. She could be a bit of a pit bull when need be. I could also see that she had a way with Jayne and a little part of me wondered just how much was brotherly love and how much was something more.

“It's alright, Kaylee. The way I see it, you both think there is something going on that's not. I just need a ride to Whitefall and then I'm gone.” “That's what River and Simon said and look where they are,” Jayne chewed harder as he pointed his knife toward the passenger's quarters. “Not that the doctor ain't saved my life a time or two. Just not really wanting another soul to look after.”

“Don't think you'll have to worry 'bout that none.” I strangely could understand where the big man was coming from. When the war ended, it seemed like our little town almost doubled in population as war refugees poured in. My father became basically the mayor of our town and suddenly had no time for me. Our hunting trips became few and far between, along with almost everything else. Days would find me and Betsy on top a hill, her guns raised to the sky, hoping to shoot the next ship baring survivors. It never came to past though. As much as I was losing that which I held dear, I couldn't kill those who needed a safe place.

Dad found me one night, following Betsy's lights. He told me that he never meantt to abandon me and the Mud Mule, but it had been his calling to protect that which mattered most. I have learned something from that, you can take the Browncoat out of the war, but never the war out of the Browncoat. Just like my father, Mal had found a crew to protect, even if it cost him everything in his life.

Thankfully, I am hear to report it got better without the cost of any lives, though I did waste a lot of ammo on passing Alliance scouts (gotta feed those gators). My father learned that he didn't have to do it all himself and that even he had to find time for fun occasionally. And no, I still haven't waved him to tell him on whose boat I had ended up. I stood and just nodded at the two before walking back toward my room. My eyes had gotten a bit heavy and maybe a little sleep was what I needed. Either that or a really good stiff drink. *********************

“You're going to see who?!” I was use to waking up to people screaming, my father and his various war buddies thought it was hilarious fun to wake everyone in town the same way they did in the war. You could say there were days I wanted to do other things they did in the war.

“Mal, you are not in charge of who I service. He apologized and I am going to give him another chance. He's changed.”

“Changed?! The man called you a whore.”

“And you haven't.”

“Well, that's different.” I could tell Mal was speaking and the other voice had to belong to the Companion, Inara. It sounded like quite a fight especially with the headache I had been nursing. Letting my jelly legs fall to the ground, I remembered why I hated ships. Now, those of you who love Serenity, it is nothing against her. What I speak of is the ice cold metal floor that always seems to shock me. It also always makes me have to pee. Umm...excuse me for a sec.

With that done and clothes that were halfway decent on, I walked out to the crew staring up at Mal and Inara yelling. Zoe was closest to me and I leaned over to whisper. “So what's the action about?”

“Nara's client is an old friend of ours and Mal doesn't approve.”

“Ain't it her choice though?” Unless Companion rules have changed.

“Yup, but this guy and Mal, they have a bit of a history.” Jayne muttered. “They've crossed swords over the dummy callin' 'Nara a whore. She gave him a black mark, but guess the idiot called her and apologized all over himself so she's givin' him another chance. Mal's none to happy.”

“So this walkin' asshole got a name?” I muttered, not seeing why this was such a big deal. Women lived to change their minds especially when money, jewelry, and presents were involved.

Zoe turned to me as she spoke. “Atherton....Atherton Wing.”