Kaylee Fry: The Rolling ‘Verse Interview:

By Jacob Austin Sheng, field reported, sector 57-D

It’s balmy here, on Pelorum today. The perfection of climate control on this world notwithstanding, it seems hotter than usual. It could be that the editors don’t issue any hot-weather shirts any longer, as they tended to attract Reavers in the same way the red flags attract bulls. (Editor’s Note: That is not the reason… we simply don’t have any more, and there’s no budget for them)

Cafes and tea shops always seem to do good business on those days, but the occupant of the chair before me isn’t concerned with the warm weather in the slightest. She’s young, pretty in an unassuming way, dressed in a bright yellow and pink floral dress, looking as if she’s on her way to meet a beau. The impression one gets from her eyes is a sense of wonder about the universe, and utter cheer, not matter what the situation may be. Five minutes in her presence and it starts to fill you as well, as if the notion of cheerfulness is as infections as her smile. Or, it could be the three drinks she’s had, and in one so small, that’s quite a feat. The smile, if one looks closer, is a bit lopsided, she’s very relaxed.

I ask if she’d like to conduct the interview later, but she dismisses the idea with an even brighter smile and a casual wave of a slender hand.

Frye: Oh, hell no, I’m ready… ask away.

Sheng: You’ve been a crewmember of Serenity for how long, Miss Frye?

Frye: Been goin’ on five years now, ever since they landed on my planet (she requested this remain undisclosed, for her parents’ sake) an’ Bester-he was the old mechanic-couldn’t get the ship fixed. I saw it plain as day, and then Cap’n (she refers here to Malcolm Reynolds) hired me on the spot.

Sheng: Five years, that’s a long time. Has it been good for you?

Frye: Well, some times were better than others, but I’d say closer to better than not. I got to see a’ whole lotta stuff, so many worlds, an’ meet people… ooh!... all the people you meet…

Sheng: Tell me about them, please.

Frye: Dunno, Cap’n said I best not talk too much ’bout things like that… are ya sure you ain’t Alliance?

Sheng: Miss Frye, I’m just a reporter, really…

Frye: Ya know, you’re kinda swai… for a reporter…

Sheng: The other people you’ve met, Miss Frye…

Frye: You can call me Kaylee…only preachers say Miss….(giggles)

Sheng: Ahem, alright then, Kaylee, what about the others on your crew?

Kaylee: Well…ya know, nobody gives Cap’n enough credit for keepin’ us all together…’scept when he’s being a horrible old huandan who don’t treat girls right… but he tries his best, he just been fightin’ too long for what he thinks is right, is all…an’ he don’t pay enough attention to ’Nara, well right kinda ‘tention, anyway…..

Kaylee dissolved into a laughing fit at this, then straightened up and continued…. ‘So maybe he oughta be nicer ta some of us… but ain’t his way. Cap’n can’t help it, I just wish he’d be a li’l happier ‘bout life.

Sheng: You think he’s unhappy?

Kaylee: He is when they’re trying to give him too much trouble, or when he saves a dirty huandan of an Alliance Commander who don’t know nothin’ ‘bout respectin’ a ship’s life and then he takes our cargo. Ya know, them fellas ain’t right-

Sheng: (quietly) Miss Frye, the officers over there are staring-

Her head darted around suddenly, and I could tell the Military frightened her, as it does many others- (remark struck out by Editor)

Kaylee: Anyhow, Cap’n’s a good man, he’s nice to me most a’ the time, that’s all that matters.

Sheng: Alright, Kaylee, any other thoughts on the crew?

Kaylee: Well, Zoe and Wash are two of the sweetest people anyone in the Verse could meet, except when Zoe’s gotta shoot someone, or take ‘em out with her rifle butt. But rest a’ the time? She’s just shiny. Got a funny sense a’ humor sometimes, but there’s nothing wrong with that. An’ Wash ?, he’s the funniest person I ever met in my life, scept my Uncle Scroggins?...one time at a weddin’, he got out the shit-shovel and laid it on-

Sheng: Kaylee? The crew?

Kaylee was beginning to feel the effects of a fourth drink she’d consumed, and frankly her mind began to wander a bit.

Kaylee: Huh? Oh yeah. Well we got our Shepherd, he’s real interestin’ for a Preacher…but there’s something the Cap’n ain’t too sure about concernin’ him…man knows an awful lot ‘bout crime for a holy man… but he gave me real strawberries once, right when he signed on, and I just won’t say nothing wrong ‘bout anyone who does that.

Sheng: (chuckling) I’ve heard he’s quite the gentleman.

Kaylee: Ain’t he just? One time I got drunker than all get out and tried to kiss Sim- oh, I plum forgot, I ain’t supposed to talk ‘bout that…

Sheng: its okay, Kaylee, you can trust me, really. I’m not an agent.

Kaylee glanced at me a moment. There was obvious tension in her voice, but her resistance to being questioned quickly melted with a fifth drink. Kaylee: Simon’s just shiny. He’s so smart, an’ young, and all manner a’ swai. Not too bad in the sack, if a bit timid, if ya know what I mean. Sometimes a girl just want to… ya know, really feel it when she gets some-

Sheng: Miss Frye! Really, this is a family publication-

Kaylee: What?...ya don’t know what I mean? (She eyed me somewhat suspiciously a moment, then a dawning look came over her face. ) Oh…. I get it now, okay there, gotcha’-

Sheng: How about River, his sister?

Kaylee: How you know about River?

Sheng: I’ve already talked with some of the others, Kaylee. (I held up my brand new recording unit to indicate this. She nodded once, but then said only this) Kaylee: Nope, not gonna. (Folds her arms) Sheng: Alright then Kaylee. What about Mr. Cobb?

Kaylee (scrunches up her nose at this name.): Jayne?

Sheng: Yes, that one.

Kaylee: Well, I think he’s got some problems, but he always looks after me… Mite too much sometimes, like when I’m tryin’ to get Simon’s ‘tention and when we’re dockside, like right about now. He’s crude an’ all that, but that’s just cause he don’t want no one knowin’ how nice he can really be…. (Pauses, rubs her chin thoughtfully) scept he gets on me ‘bout likin’ Simon all the time. He just don’t like that man, an’ I don’t know why-

Kaylee’s expression changed suddenly, it was recognition. She smiled crookedly, waving her hand. Kaylee: Heya Jayne, we’s jus’ talkin’ bout you… this here reporter an’ me-

A shadow loomed over where I was sitting at that time. I turned around suddenly. Merciful Buddha, it was him. Jayne Cobb.

Standing there with his arms crossed, a look of pure animal fury on his face. I moved to get up, but he gripped my shoulder in one hand so fiercely that I was near paralyzed by it. I looked frantically around me for any signs of local law enforcement, even Military personnel. But there was no one save the citizenry. I am not ashamed to say I was terrified. Cobb: This here fella a’botherin’ you, Mei-Mei? Kaylee: Him, nah, he was just buyin’ me some drinks and talkin to me ‘bout the ship, huh mister-what’d you say your name was again?-

Sheng: Sheng, Kaylee. I’m with Rolling Ver- (Cobb was suddenly angered, even more than at first. I knew I was a dead man. A note to editor: Please forward my death benefits to my wife and children. I’d like a simple ceremony, nothing outlandish. He looked down at me with recognition registering in his eyes….)

Cobb: Hey, now I remember ya. You’re that huandan with the recorder and all those questions… An’ you’re trying to get Kaylee drunk? Gorram little bastard-

Editor’s Note: Anyone with information regarding the whereabouts of Jacob Austin Sheng; a field reporter with our publication, can contact our offices on standard Cortex number coordinates 1136 ^ 2245^85^9956. He was last seen on Pelorum in a tap café near the resort community of Heavenly Hollows.

A substantial reward is being offered for information regarding his location. As long as our budget holds out.