“Gorram is unacceptable,” she said pointing to the board.

“My muscular buttocks it ain’t,” Jayne replied, lining his tiles up with the edges of the squares.

“Remove them,” River said “It is not a recognized word.”

“Now, River-girl, I let you keep that one.” River shook her head.

“Analgesic is a recognized word. I explained to you what it means.”

“Well I think you were makin’ it up. It just sounds dirty.”

Jayne paused, a smirk on his face.

“Say it again,” he said.

River sighed.

“Say it!”

“Analgesic.”

Jayne smiled triumphantly.

“You kiss your mama with that mouth?” he asked. River stuck her tongue out and looked at the board.

“You are stalling. She thinks you don’t have a leg to stand on.”

“I got legs,” he said “Two of ‘em. Three if’n ya count-”

“Play!” she commanded imperiously.

Jayne made a face and placed two tiles on the board.

“There,” he said “Ram.”

“Ram is acceptable,” she said “But you scored lower than her. Pants.”

Jayne looked down at himself. No socks, no boots, no shirt. He grabbed the button on his pants and looked around the common room.

“Aw, bao bei,” he said “C’mon.”

“Pants,” she said, holding out her hand. “You agreed to learn the game by her rules on the terms that you could add one of your own. This is your rule, not hers.”

Jayne grunted, unbuttoned his pants, and threw them at River. She took a moment to fold them and place them next to her. Jayne pulled his orange hat down lower on his head.

“You ain’t gettin’ my hat,” he said petulantly. She smiled.

“She has all of your clothes and you have none of hers. Probability dictates she will get your hat.”

“Place your tiles, little one, or I’ll—“

“Gorramit, Jayne!”

Both River and Jayne turned to see Mal standing in the entryway, his eyes covered by his hands.

“Put some ruttin’ clothes on. Now!”

“But Cap’n, we’re playin-”

“I don’t give a good gorram what yer playin’! Clothes! Now!”

Jayne took the bag of tiles from the floor and dumped them on the ground. He sorted through them until he had what he wanted and he placed the six tiles on the board. They spelled

MYBUNK

River looked at them for a moment and then looked back at him.

“It is not technically a word,” she said “But it is acceptable.”

With that she stood up and, ignoring Jayne’s protests took his pants and headed for his bunk.