Get used to you. That there was something of a joke, since he reckoned he’d never quite get used to her. Partly because it was so damned hard to tell with her how much was truthsome and how much was wiles. He conjured the truthsome moments were few and far between.

She was a Companion, well-trained one at that. So damned good at what she did that it was frightful easy to forget, forget that every gesture – the little smiles and the wide eyes and the worried way she sometimes pursed her lips – was calculated to win something, to fool someone. A man could lose himself. He reckoned many had. Hell, he reckoned he was the fool more often than he cared to know. Oft-times found himself thinking on times they were together, wondering which was truthsome and which was wiles. Found himself trying to make her mad, just to see that little flash in her eyes he knew she couldn’t quite tame.

Funny how he didn’t realize till it was passed just how zhēn that moment in his bunk was, that moment when she’d come to him and asked to stay. Because, thinking back, it seemed plain to him that that wasn’t about wiles. No. Wiles were the reverse psychology she came armed with when she wanted him to think it was his gorram idea to go to this rock or that. Wiles were the smiles she gave him once they were there when she asked if they might could linger a day longer than need be. But wiles wasn’t that desperate little note in her voice when she’d asked him not to turn her away.

Because wiles – wiles, he conjured, were a thing she used to get what she wanted. Staying on Serenity’d been something she’d needed. Wished he knew why.

***

A hand on his shoulder: the doctor’s. “Mal....” It was all he could do not to take a good swing at him, and his sister too, still balled up and crying behind him. He didn’t, in some measure because he thought she’d’ve been disappointed in him.

Without looking back, he shrugged the hand off and walked away.

***

Another day, another job, and they were on Beaumonde.

She’d been showing that pretty face at dinner more and more. He had to admire her for it. Couldn’t’ve been easy. It was always more than a mite awkward, after all, between Zoe’s glaring and Jayne’s leering. Likely she came because Kaylee’d been asking her to, he figured. Dinnertime was dreary for his little mechanic, aside from Wash’s jokes, which always got her laughing. So she’d asked the Companion (he had a time thinking of her by her given name, just couldn’t manage it; in his head she was just her), and he reckoned there wasn’t a soul in the ‘Verse could say no to Kaylee.

He knew she was there that night soon as he saw Kaylee’s face go all dreamy, and her voice to match. “Hey, ‘Nara.”

He stole a glance as she floated in, enough to see her smile like some saint come down from high to bless them, dancing a pretty hand across Kaylee’s hair as she passed. Her voice when she spoke was all cool and gentle. “Hello, mei mei.” Lifted up her chin, to show she was talking to the rest: “Good evening.”

The smile Wash dished on her could’ve cracked his face. Man seemed on a mission to ease the tension been building on the boat since the Companion came on board. Zoe still wasn’t patched up with neither him or Wash, and she still wasn’t like to give Inara Serra the time of day. He reckoned all that together meant Wash to be passing most nights on the floor.

“Inara!” Pilot was still grinning away. “We’re so glad you could dine with us this evening. Can I interest you in the veal? Or the lamb? A nice Cotes du Rhone to start? The finish of this one bears distinctive overtones of black cherry and almond.”

Inara’s answer was a smile went straight to her eyes – till Zoe spoke. Grin didn’t quite fall, but went out of her eyes. “Best not to joke on such things with the likes of that one,” Zoe muttered. “She’ll expect you to have it to offer.”

Her long lashes fell to her cheeks once, and then she’d regained herself all but completely and fixed Wash with a beatific smile. Yes, indeed, a man could lose himself. “I’d love to stay, but I’m afraid I’ve got an appointment to keep. I just wanted to stop in and say hello.”

He held his curiosity in tight. Kept his eyes down on his plate and stabbed a piece of baked protein as he talked at her. “Hand-off’s tomorrow, then we’re off Beaumonde quick as we can. When can we expect you? Best we could meet before we’re on the run.”

He reckoned if he looked up she’d be watching him. If he did it quick enough, maybe he’d catch a glimpse of what she saw when she looked at him. No. Trained his eyes on his plate as he waited for her answer.

“I should be docked back here by mid-morning. My engagement is just for this evening.”

A hard snort of a laugh came from right beside him. Jayne, the muscle on his crew. “Heh. Just the ruttin’, eh?”

His eyes snapped over to look at the man, sitting there grinning like a jackal. Words came out afore he could stop them. “You can shut your gorram trap, Jayne, or I’ll shut it for you. You haven’t been here long enough for it to give me any grief.”

But like all those other times to come, she didn’t need his protecting. (And even if she did, he conjured he’d proved time and again he couldn’t do anything for her.) Nope, she didn’t need no help at all. She just smiled, all radiant, like she never heard Jayne at all; cupped Kaylee’s cheek, gentle-like; leaned down and kissed her soft just by her mouth. “Goodnight, mei mei,” she said, and then she stood up all stately as a queen and walked around the other side of the table. When she got to Jayne, she put a hand on his shoulder and leaned in close to his ear, so her hair just barely brushed against Mal’s arm on the table. What she said he couldn’t hear, but his gunman’s grin dropped off his face quick enough. His eyes got wide, and his mouth fell open. She leaned back, and he just made out her asking: “Do you understand?” Jayne nodded once. Then again. And she smiled that saint smile one last time at them all, and turned, and walked tall out the door.

The big man shook his head. “Well I’ll be damned. That there’s some woman.”

***

“Scared, she’s so scared. Don’t leave me. Never leave me.”

“I won’t, River. I’m here. Don’t worry. He’s gone now.”

***

Leave? Was her mostly that left, off to do her cavorting for one night or ten. (Well, could be it was never that long.)

He’d be on the bridge and see a wave coming in; Wash’d direct it her way, and he’d know, sure as day, that this was the fella that was cause for whatever request she’d put to him in days past.

Not that he put a bit of care into the fact. These two months she’d paid him on the nose, early even, and that was the only care a landlord had for his tenant. Coin was real and hard (where she wasn’t either), and it spoke loud.

Hand-off went down right as could be. No hitches, and that was a thing one never stopped being grateful for. And so he was taking his ease in the mess over a hot drink, waiting for her, when the comm sounded.

“Mal?” Wash.

“M’here.”

The comm crackled. “Yeah, well, you might want to get here. You’re not going to like this – we’ve got an incoming transmission from Sihnon.”

He was up and out the door before he heard another word. Up to the bridge quick as a blink, and there was Wash, puzzling over the screens on his console.

“Alliance?”

Wash turned his head back over his shoulder. “Not unless the Alliance has started selecting its messengers from the local girls’ school –”

He’d already picked up the wave. Face that blinked onto the screen was a young girl’s, and the way she looked, the way she held herself, seemed mighty familiar. “Captain Malcolm Reynolds here. What might I be able to do for you today?”

She smiled a blissful little smile. “Captain Reynolds, please hold for the Priestess.”

He looked over at Wash. “Priestess of what?”

“Of House Madrassa, Captain Reynolds.” Back to the screen, and there in front of him was a regal-looking woman about fifty, bedecked in all manner of finery. “I won’t waste your time with pleasantries. I’m searching for one of Madrassa’s Companions. I have reason to believe she might be lodging on your vessel.”

He tightened his jaw. “You got reason to believe, do you? Ain’t it your business to know such things?”

She was quiet for a bit, just watching him; her eyes were burrowing little holes in his skin. He crossed his arms in front of him, like to ward her off. And then: “Now I do.”

He straightened up. “Now wait just one damn minute, I didn’t tell you anything –”

“You told me enough, Captain Reynolds. May I speak with her?”

He frowned. “She isn’t here.”

“Um, Mal?”

He glanced sidelong at the pilot, who seemed to be muttering something into his headpiece. “Not now, Wash.”

“But Mal –”

“Wash, what part of ‘not now’ I got to explain to you?”

“It’s just that Inara’s shuttle just docked.”

He sighed and raked a dusty hand through messy hair. Gave a glance back at the screen. And then, his voice revealing a touch more worry than he likely meant it to: “She isn’t in trouble, is she?”

The woman smiled, but some part of it was sad. “How well do you know Inara, Captain?”

Beside him, he heard Wash speaking into the headset. “Okay, I’ll patch it through to your shuttle.”

The face on the screen blinked out into nothing.

“Every body counted, then. Get us off this rock, Wash.”

***

Was just about at his bunk when all of a sudden it seemed there was only one place in the ‘Verse he wanted to be.

He turned on his heel and made his way to her shuttle.

Privacy wasn’t much matter now, after all.

***

That day, he’d gone to her shuttle, too. He had a mind to lay down some words on truthsomeness. That time, though, she was there, her hatch open wide. He got close enough so as to see little Kaylee, sitting right in the middle of the shuttle on that fine red Persian rug she kept. They were sitting cross-legged across from one another, knees touching, playing with a whole mess of string.

“Do it again, so’s I can see.” The Companion smiled and obliged and made some quick work of the string, and what she held up at the end sure didn’t look like a mess anymore. It was something intricate, something delicate, a tangle of crisscrossing threads, catching the light just so. “What’d you say you call this, again?”

“When I was a little girl, we called it a Jacob’s Ladder, a stairway to heaven. It’s a very ancient game, from Earth-That-Was. Start with nothing, and make something beautiful.”

“So pretty. You would know somethin’ like this. Everything ‘bout you is pretty. All the games my pa taught me ended in me covered in a load of grease.”

“You shine through the smudges, mei mei.”

They were quiet for bit of time, and at the doorway he was barely breathing listening to them talk. Didn’t know quite why. Kaylee was looping the string round her thumbs in all sorts of fashions, and the one in the green dress was just reaching over to steer her hands when the mechanic spoke up, hesitant-sounding. “Did he ask you to stay with him?”

Her answer was low and soft and sad. “Yes, he did.”

“Well, weren’t he shuai?”

“Yes, I suppose he was.”

“And weren’t he nice?”

“He was very polite.”

“Well, why didn’t you?”

There was a long moment of quiet before she spoke. “I think –” A beat. “I think any sort of commitment would be wrong for me right now for a great many reasons, Kaylee.”

The girl scrunched up her face. “But why wouldn’t you want that? I mean, don’t everybody just want to be close to someone? More’n just a warm body, I mean – a warm soul too?” Some things Kaylee just wasn’t ever going to understand. Fixing came as natural to her as breathing. And, well, the thought there might be something broken in a body he might not want to fix.... Nope, Kaylee couldn’t understand that none too well. He could, though. He understood plenty.

‘Nara just sighed, almost like she could hear him thinking. “You make it sound so simple.” She blinked a few times, rapid, like to get out something caught in her eye, all the time watching her hands work through Kaylee’s. After a minute, she smiled. “Look, you’ve done it, mei mei. It’s beautiful.”

Kaylee looked down, face splitting into a prize grin. “Oh, gee! Shiny!”

Not daring to watch any more, he came in, then, loud, demanding attention. “Won’t dish the dirt with the rest of her girls. That’s why the lady’s a tramp.”

Her head shot around to look at him, and she pushed herself to her feet with about as much grace as he figured he’d ever seen. Fixed him with a look didn’t hold a trifle the affection she laid on Kaylee and shook her head. “Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable.”

He tried to grin. “What, you impressed with my keen knowledge of Earth-That-Was music? Needn’t be. It’s my momma’s doin’. She knew all them jazzy tunes, made the ranch hands on Shadow listen to ‘em every Sunday dinner.” She rolled her eyes and turned away from him, quick – walked over to one of her low little tables and lit the end of one of them fragrance sticks she seemed so fond of with a fancy lighter. He cleared his throat. “Kaylee, now you’ve mastered your little finger game there, why don’t you leave us be.”

The girl raised her eyebrows and grinned; pushed herself to her feet, making extra careful to take every last bit of string with her on her way out. “Bye, ‘Nara.” Paused, too long for to be accidental, and drawled out: “Cap’n.”

When the girl was gone, she walked over to face him. “How long were you outside my shuttle, Captain?”

His eyes dropped down to his boots. “Didn’t want to interrupt. Been a long while since Kaylee’s had someone to feel close to. Don’t got no mind to cheat her of her moments.”

When he looked back up, her eyes were on his, like she was trying to read something out of him. Like Madrassa’s Priestess’d done over the wave. Then she took a deep breath. “I trust your heist was successful?”

He shrugged. “Wasn’t a heist. Just the hand-off.”

She turned from him, made like she was tidying. Seemed to him an excuse to fidget. “Well, I trust that was successful?”

He didn’t right know how to bring it up. Shuffled his feet a bit before starting. “I’ve a mind to talk to you about that wave you took this afternoon –”

She looked over at him, sharp. “It was a personal communication. You’ve no reason to know the content of my private affairs.”

He bristled. “May be that’s true of most of them, but I damn well got a right to know if you’re gonna be bringing trouble to my boat. Sounded to me like the lady didn’t know where you’ve been keepin’ yourself. And that got me to wonderin’ just why that might be.”

She sat down on her sofa, posture just so, and crossed her wrists across her knees, proper-like. “She didn’t know because she had no reason to know. I conduct my business arrangements through the Guild now, not through a single House. House Madrassa has no cause to keep track of me.”

“You expect me to believe you just left and didn’t tell a soul where you were headed?”

“It was a personal decision. Again, no concern of yours.”

“Seems like they know now.”

She nodded once, sharp, and pursed her lips into something like a smile. “It’s probably as it should be. It was naive of me to think it wise to cut off ties with Madrassa. But you needn’t worry. The Alliance has no sway with the Guild. Companions follow their own code. Their knowing won’t affect you.”

Frowning to himself, he looked down and rocked back on his feet. Muttering: “Wasn’t me so much I was worryin’ on.”

Her eyes dropped down to her hands just for a second, but it was that there that convinced him, when he later thought back on it, that this was one of those times lacked truthsomeness. What she said was: “I assure you, Captain Reynolds: I’m perfectly fine.”

***

When he got to her shuttle, he let himself in. Like he’d said to her that very first time she’d showed up at his bunk, wasn’t nobody there to stop him.

It was the smell of it done him in. Something about smells bringing back memories. Doc would probably give him a lot of brain science to explain it, but it didn’t matter none. It was there. He was flooded by it.

The room was all red and ornate, her little trinkets lined up neat as could be. He wanted to go through it all, catalog every little trace of her. He wanted to destroy it all, get rid of every last reminder. He wanted to sleep.

So he walked over to that red, red couch, lay down on it, and closed his eyes.

***

Sometimes he watched her.

Sometimes he turned around, and there she was, watching him right back.

***

end chapter 2

Comments on the old may encourage me to write something new!