I was on my way to bed, when the plotbunny attacked.... Disclaimer: That wan't Joss Whedon looking at me in the mirror this morn... Not betaed

The Fraud

Jayne sat in the common area and watched old movies on the cortex feed there, when River wandered in. Always moving around and never sitting still, that one. Jayne ignored her. River sat down cross legged at the other end of the couch and stared at the big man. Jayne put his feet up on the coffee-table and pretended she wasn't there.

"I saw you," River said in a sing-songy voice and before he could stop himself, Jayne asked: "Doin' what, Moonbrain?" He bit his lip and concentrated on the screen again. "Doing nice things." He snorted. "Girl, you just keep gettin' more messed up in yer brainpan." "You bought strawberries for Kaylee." "Weren't me," he flat out denied. "You got a new shawl for Inara when Captain accidentally tore hers." "Ain't got no coin to spare fer nobody." River snorted with amusement. "Methinks he doth protest too much!" "Huh?" She leaned forward conspiratorially. "You got me paper and colored pencils." "Shut up or I will shut you up." River giggled. "You got Zoe a nice frame for the capture of her and Wash." "Gorram freak belongs in the bughouse!" he announced to the characters frolicking on the screen. River got on her hands and knees on the couch, with her face close to Jayne's. "You are one big, old fraud, Jayne Cobb!" she accused, with laughter in her voice. The corner of his mouth briefly twitched up, with a quick flash of a smile, suppressed just as fast. "An' ye are nuttier than a candybar."