BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

JANE0904

Grenades II
Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Okay, so the original was going to be a one-off, but I just had to write the sequel! No OCs, so everyone read and enjoy. Probably the last in this tiny series, but you never know ...


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1914    RATING: 10    SERIES: FIREFLY

“... although bloodshed was kept to a minimum by the quick arrival of Alliance Federal forces. Mrs Irene Summersmith, chairman of the Combined Needlework and Karate Society, gave a statement to Cortex reporters from her bed in Persephone General, but we are unable to wave it as it contravened broadcast regulations for the use of foul language. However, doctors have indicated that the source of the problem appears to have been the seven layer bean dip, purchased from a local supplier, that initial tests have established contained high levels of Dutalamine Sulphide, a drug used almost exclusively in senior care facilities to keep their residents ... regular. Unconfirmed reports seem to suggest the dip may have been sabotaged by a former member of the society who was asked to leave some weeks ago. Alliance officers are currently looking for this person, and her son, who was also the supplier of the dip, who is already known to the authorities under the name of Badger. Residents of Eavesdown are requested not to approach, as both are regarded as highly dangerous. The Drift House Hotel, where the meeting took place, declined to comment, but is currently closed for refurbishment and decontamination.

“In other news, reports of incidents occurring of explosions in bathrooms throughout the sector have been strongly denied by the makers of the Whisjkers 3000 grenade. Weasel Enterprises have, however, withdrawn sale of the grenades, and issued a statement that they never suggested that the grenades were waterproof, and in fact the active ingredient in the explosive becomes unstable should it come into contact with damp conditions. Federal investigators have strongly requested that any person who purchased these grenades should dispose of them as quickly as possible under UXD conditions. The complimentary shower gel and back brush are probably safe.”

“Jayne.”

“Yeah, Mal?”

“What’re you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Right.”

“Nothing. Huh.”

“Honest, Mal. Just ... leaning here.”

“By the airlock.”

“Yeah.”

“Doing nothing.”

“S’right.”

“So I didn’t just feel the outer doors open.”

“Did’ja?”

“Thought so.”

“Must be some kinda mental ab ... aber .... aberer ...”

“Aberration?”

“That’s the bunny.”

“So I’m having hallucinations.”

“Yep.”

“And I didn’t just see a back brush float by the bridge windows.”

“Uh ... no?”

“Jayne ...”

“Yeah, Mal?”

“You shouldn’t’a gotten rid of the shower gel. You’re gonna be needing it pretty much soon as we land.”

“Septic vat?”

“That’s the bunny.”

“Shit.”

“Exactly.”

“Gorramit.”

“I'm just glad you got rid of those damn grenades.”

“Uh ... grenades?”

“Jayne ...”

COMMENTS

Tuesday, November 2, 2010 7:32 AM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


You never to amaze, Jane0904, you really don't! I say this with admiration because this scene is a)genius; b) spot-on, voices-wise; and c) the sheer absurdity of a needlepoint-karate club is mindblowing!

;D

Awesome stuff as usual, and you HAVE TO follow this up! This is the high-quality verbal banter we missed out on when the show got cancelled!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010 7:44 AM

ANGELLEMARCS


"That's the bunny." LOL!!! Wonderful... made me laugh even though I wasn't feelin all that great. :)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010 9:28 AM

SERENITYRIDDLE


What a very funny little surprise for all of your followers.. I love that he got rid of the shower gel and back brush and not the grenades... You are just so good at capturing their voices.. "that's the bunny." Awesome!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010 9:31 AM

BRUCEPLUTO


Grip the handle, hold, then release….“Va Voom” everything goes down (hopefully) instead of up! How did using the septic system get more complicated out in space than on the ground?

Best not to bring any grenades around when you’re by the wet stuff…..lol

Got a good chuckle out of this Jane, a nice, fun bit of reading……very enjoyable.

BPZ

PS: Also getting a kick out of the news waves that seem to stumble in, nice touch!

Thursday, November 4, 2010 4:48 AM

AMDOBELL


This made me laugh, I could so hear their voices in my head! Nicely done, Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"


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