In the year of Our Lord twenty-five seventeen

We took off from Perseph’ne again

We were sailing away with a cargo of beef

For to carry on down to Jiangyin

Well, my rusty old boat, she was barely afloat

But oh, how the whole crew loved her

She’d survived angry Feds, getting torn half to shreds

And a child prodigy called River

There was Wash at the helm and the bridge was his realm

There was Zoe, his wife and First Mate

There was young Kaylee Frye, kept our ship in the sky

And the hero of Canton called Jayne

We’d Inara along, though she hardly belonged

And a Shepherd, our souls to deliver

And that damn Doctor Tam, from the Core Worlds he cam’

And with him was his sister River

We had one million tons of that fine Canton mud

We had two million guns from the war

We had three million hills worth of St. Lucy’s pills

We had four million stamped protein bars

We had five million cows and six million ploughs

And seven million apples for Badger

We had eight million dolls with the heads that wobbles

And we’d one crazy girl called River

We’d not been in port fifteen minutes before

Local hillfolk made off with our Doc

And he had to make do without help from the crew

For that’s when the Shepherd got shot

But them hillfolk got mad, vowed to burn out the bad

Built a pyre for Little Sister

We turned round right away, Big Damn Heroes saved the day

And the life of our own witch, River