Mal is sitting on the bridge with virtually the whole crew in an uproar, and he’s about had it, looking distinctly disheveled; “This palaver has been goin’ on for weeks. We all know all the arguments. We don’ need to go over the facts again, we need a recipe for keepin’ on keepin’ on!”

Simon speaks up with a voice of tired reason; “Well, let’s list the problems one more time, but this time write them down. Then maybe we can go to the answers without repeating ourselves.” Zoë finds a board from somewhere, and River is ready to write:

Inara starts by discussing calmly what has gotten them in this fix: “The Alliance Parliament left us alone for the first year or so, but in the last couple of years, they have started to attack us indirectly by threatening anyone who supplies our ship. Everyone on board has stories of how individuals or ships which mention Miranda are harassed, and punished on the flimsiest grounds.”

Jayne jumps in; “The Gorram Feds have been on our ruttin’ butt since Miranda, pushin’ us further and further out into the Black. Now we’re out here on the edge of nuthin’, where there’s no coin. The jobs that pay their way out here are mighty slim.”

Simon’s contribution; “We need to find somewhere closer in that the Alliance hasn’t already intimidated…”

“But there ain’t no such places.”

Suddenly, the discussion is interrupted, in the worst possible way! River shouts "Ai-yah. Tyen-ah!" (“Merciless hell!”) and hits the alarm. They all turn to the front, and she points to the display; "Reavers. Coming straight at us!"

Inara looks on in horror; "I thought they were all gone..."

Mal mutters; "Yeh lu jwo duo luh jwohn whei jian gui. (Travel in the dark long enough, and you're bound to see a ghost.) There had to be a few left over. And we found them. That's the way our luck goes."

A quick map check, and Mal finds group of small moons nearby, “Those boys look ready to conjure up some genuine nastiness! River, aim for those moons. If we can swing around that nearby one, maybe we can build up a big enough lead to get us on back to those Alliance cruisers we just lost this morning."

Jayne is not really in favour of facing the Alliance. “Why do we want to meet them Feds again? Ain’t one set of enemies enough?”

“Don’t you remember what happened the last time we got the two together?”

“Yup, we gained us a wrecked ship and a whole lot of shot up people.”

“But we survived, and got rid of a peck of enemies in the end.”

As usual, Mal’s plan is not quite perfect, and when they round the second moon, they find a Reaver ship is waiting for them with grappling claws extended! There’s a muffled thump, and Mal sees a telltale light flash red. “Zoë! Jayne! We got visitors! Le’s go! – We’re the Welcoming Committee! River, keep us headin’ for the Alliance.”

As the Committee enters the engine room, five screaming Reavers launch themselves away from a cowering Kaylee straight at Mal. Mal and Jayne fire simultaneously, and two Reavers disintegrate, but a third grabs Mal’s arm, opening a gash from shoulder to elbow, then smashes him in the head with a metal-reinforced club – a shot from Zoë polishes him off, but now the remaining two attack Jayne. He kills one with a knife, and Zoë bludgeons the other to death with her rifle. All is good, except both have serious bite wounds.

Jayne begins, “Well, that wasn’t so bad - ” when Kaylee screams "Zhu yi." ("Watch your back!") and points behind a rather groggy Mal… Zoë spins and fires, killing the Reaver just emerging from under the engine swinging a wrench… The Reaver screams as he falls, and then there’s an enormous “CRACK” as a shower of sparks fries him when he lands. Finally, there’s silence.

Dead silence…

The engines have stopped. Mal stands transfixed, staring at the dead machinery as Kaylee races to her babies… Zoë however, has other concerns; “Jayne, follow me – let’s check see if there’s any more of those Hwun dan (bastards) around.”

As Zoë and Jayne head for the Reaver ship, Mal and Kaylee inspect the engines. Kaylee is soon optimistic.“It kinda looks as if he was trying to mess up the engines, but Zoë potted him before any real damage was done – his fall just ripped out some wiring – I can get it going – sorta - in a few minutes… It’s all Shiny!”

Mal, now a little less concerned, heads off to help the other two, climbing into the reeking mess of the Reaver ship.

Zoë is standing in what passes for the main bridge, looking over half eaten unidentifiable carcasses and loose wiring; “I’m not much on housekeeping, but those boys really let this place go.”

Jayne appears from the back of the vessel. “Ain’t nothin’ back there but scrap parts.”

Mal, looks around, then declares, “Well, if there’s nobody else around, let’s dump this piece of gos se (crap) and get back inside.”

A few moments, and the three have the Reaver ship floating away.

By the time they tighten the hatch and get back to the engine room, Kaylee has the engines running, and is yelling to the bridge – “River, get us up and out of here. Ma-Shong!" (Now!)”

There’s a tremendous lurch, and the ship is MOVING! Mal and the rest of the “Welcoming Committee” race for the bridge, to find River straining to get every bit of speed out of the ship as she heads for another moon. And to get away from the five other Reaver ships behind them!

With a wild multi-G turn which has everyone on board slammed against the port side, River swings close to the moon, its gravity making the turn even tighter. Mal hollers, “Take it easy little one! No point in us escapin’ being dinner for the Reavers if we directly end up mashed to death against a bulkhead.”

And then they see what’s on the other side of the moon – three enormous Alliance Cruisers! Zoë cries; “Run-tse duh fwotzoo…” (“Merciful Buddha…”) “Sir, what Ku wu (despicable) act did you pull to rate THREE of those monsters?”

But there’s no time for an answer – the Reaver ships are swinging into view behind them! One Reaver fires, and a huge gash appears in one of Serenity’s thrusters, throwing the ship into a wild arc toward the moon. But that draws the Reavers to the Alliance’s attention, and the lead cruiser makes the mistake of firing without coordinating fire at the closest Reaver – all five Reavers fire back, and the cruiser dissolves in a dazzling display of pyrotechnics. Now the other two huge Alliance cruisers are organized and aiming for this new threat. Serenity is forgotten, the fight is on!

In the meantime, River has taken advantage of being ignored to finally get the ship under control just before it crashes into the moon.

Mal says, “Let’s just lay low here and go to blackout until our betters finish sortin’ things out.”, and Zoë agrees; “Yes Sir. By the looks of these readings, that might be the easy part. – This ship is not ready to go up, or any other direction.”

Just then the largest Reaver ship explodes above them, and the rest turn away. With the fight beginning to move out of sight behind the moon, Serenity is finally free of “hangers on”, and Mal suggests they land on the barren rock below to assess damages.

The landing is a trifle rough – Jayne says, “Hun Dan! (Damn!) River, the Reavers done enough damage – you don’ need to add no more!”

After the crew shakes off the effects of the last hour, Mal says, “All those with wounds to the infirmary – Doc, it’s time you earned your keep. Kaylee, take whoever else can help and see what can be done for my ship.”

As Simon is putting the final touches on Jayne’s bite wound, a very worried Kaylee arrives at the infirmary, followed by a dirty looking River, and an uncharacteristically disheveled Inara.

Kaylee starts, nervously; “Cap’n, we’ve checked the ship from front to back, and we have a little good news, and a whole bunch of bad news…”