There were a few clouds in the sky, but for the most part, the sun laid down an impressive warmth. It was really an awe inspiring landscape; dark blue mountains in the distance, frosted white, golden wind-blown grass on the plains, sparse with short spindly trees. Across the captain’s bare skin, he felt a shiver of a breeze. “Well, now,” he said aloud sitting on an uncomfortable stump, “I didn’t expect to be visiting these particulars again.” Again meaning the time when the captain’s ‘wife’ had left him high and dry, not to mention bare, after she had successfully manipulated him once again. Her name, at the time, was Saffron, an innocent enough girl that had apparently married the captain in a moment of drunkenness and bliss. Normal enough, except the proposal, engagement, and ceremony took place in the same night. Mal hadn’t been looking for a wife and the whole thing was rather amusing for the crew and awkward for its captain. There was bible reciting and poetry to be had before Saffron could be revealed for her true character. Character being that she tried to kill them. Granted, this wasn’t much different from the rest of the people that Mal and his crew had had the misfortune to meet, but it was certainly unexpected. Saffron had appeared to be little more than a blushing bride, blissfully ignorant of the ‘verse around her. Mal thought she needed protecting. ‘Course that was before she drugged him, assaulted Wash, waylaid Inara, and expertly sent the ship en route to be scrapped and its crew murdered. And that was the first time they ran into her. She made an impression. That impression lasted until the captain managed to run into her again. She had found herself a new husband, a war buddy of Mal’s. Her name had been Bridget, then. Cost Mal’s war buddy his most prized commodity. His beard. She wasn’t too happy to see Reynolds, tried to kill him again before she realized it would have done her no good. But she wormed her way back into good graces with a proposal for the crew. A heist. Pull off the heist, get rich. Of course, Saffron had an idea to use the crew to get the item for herself. And on the way, Mal met yet another husband that Saffron had fooled. Woman had some issues. She used them again to distract the captain and grab his gun. But Mal had gotten close, close to revealing her true ambitions, and for it, Saffron left him stranded and naked in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, Mal had had the foresight to have Inara on hand for that occasion, to have her separate from the rest of the crew of the Serenity, who Saffron had also duped with a device or two that kept them busy. That foresight had turned the tables on the captain’s ‘wife,’ and put the captain and crew on top. There would be no living with Zoe after this one, Mal thought to himself. Funny the troubles with the shuttle had occurred right after the wave to the ship. Of course it was the type of humor that was largely unappreciated. Still, they had their lives… They were just a little short on dignity. “Mm,” An equally naked doctor sat cross-legged, knees up, in the prairie grass, “I don’t suppose Inara is in on this particular jaunt either?” Malcolm Reynolds smiled tightly, “Unfortunately, no.” “No ship, no provisions…” Simon said methodically, “And of course there in the matter of our… attire…” “Or lack there of,” Mal said calmly, “No guns and no cargo. Maybe we should make a list of our haves to put us in a chipper mood…” “Our lives and our wits…” Simon mustered a brave face, but it was comically flawed. Mal was becoming rather fond of his cool professional demeanor. While the doctor was clearly as unhappy about the situation as he, Simon was largely keeping it to himself, “That what’s important, I gather…” The captain pointed to a tree a short distance away, “Shade,” he said, “I can tell you that that is a definite improvement from last time, doctor.” “As not being immediately rescued by the crew is in the minus category,” Simon said. “Tsk, tsk, doctor,” Mal answered, but the humor in his voice was feigned. “Sorry, captain,” The doctor paused glancing at the mediocre object that the captain indicated, “Shade is on the list, but you’re still one short.” “The breeze is a nice touch,” Mal said. “It is,” Simon said agreeably. There was a moment of purposeful silence as the two let the situation continue to sink in. “Where do you think that the next town will be?” Mal sighed. The doctor shrugged, “Your guess is as good as mine. Probably better as I wasn’t conscious when we landed,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “Or landing, actually.” “Believe you me, doctor,” Mal told him, “You didn’t miss much, but I was too concerned with us not dying to chew on much of the scenery…” the captain snatched a reed from the ground, “How’s that head of yours, anyway? It’s not leaking genius, is it?” Mal broke the grass in half and dangled the end from his mouth. There were also a few aggravated burns on the doc’s arms that Mal didn’t mention. “Fine,” Simon said, unhappy at the rib, “I take it that patch I put on your head has kept that disarming bravado from doing the same.” The fluffy end of the reed upturned, “Nice work in the shuttle, by the way. That fuel purge probably saved us from becoming spectacular sight for the folks down here…” “Thank you, by the way,” Simon said, “For not killing us and for having this very unique and awkward moment to experience.” “We aim to please,” Mal winked, “But I can’t take all the credit,” He rubbed his head, “I’d almost forgotten whose idea it was to remove our knickers anyway,” his finger went up, “Oh wait…” “Our clothes were contaminated by the pesticides that opened on impact, captain,” Simon said defensively, “Continued exposure was not an option. The preventive shots that I gave on the shuttle were not meant for that type of direct exposure. They were meant for contained handling. Luckily for us, I prepared for the worse,” there was a look that spoke volumes of blame, “The follow-up shot will keep us alive,” the doctor said, “But of course if you would like for your insides to liquefy over the length of a week, you should have spoken up…” “You have this habit of sticking me with needles, doc. I’m not ungrateful, just wary,” Mal whistled the reed from his mouth, “Not wary enough, I see, though. But it’s awful hard to defend yourself from getting the jump on when you’re stark naked,” Mal said, “I am a little curious, though. Once we had deposed of our clothes what was going to be the next step? I didn’t see much in the way of spare clothes in that red box of yours.” “I had high hopes,” Simon said, “You’d proven yourself resourceful in the past…” “Believe it or not, doctor,” Mal answered, “Pulling something out of your ass is a purely figurative phrase…” “I thought we were alone…” Simon said. “Well, now,” Mal said after a thoughtful pause, “That was a disturbing collection of words. Romantic notions, doctor?” Simon regarded him darkly, “Hardly,” he glanced at the sky, “At least the shuttle’s fixed. Not that it helps us any now…” “Handy group of villains, weren’t they?” Mal said, “I could almost respect their sense of humor, stranding us instead of killing us. I don’t suppose that they dropped a clue why the shuttle’s port engine misfired?” “Port side fuel regulator,” Simon said as he eyed the horizon despairingly, “That was the conversation after the one sided bit you had with the butt of a rifle.” “It was a shotgun, doc,” “Whatever.” “So…” Mal rubbed the back of his neck, “I get a little unappreciable when someone stealing something of mine…” he said, “How’d they fix it?” “They didn’t,” The doctor said, “They did something with the port side fuel pump so that they could have a slow burn well enough for rudimentary flight. I’m sure Kaylee could tell you specifics, if not word for word, but that was the general idea.” Simon explained, “They also said something about securing a replacement for the faulty regulator.” “Enterprising folk,” Mal said, “Funny and efficient. Hate ‘em already.” “Why waste a bullet when you can have a hilarious story to tell?” Simon said wryly, “Knowing that the protagonists of the tale are still living with the shame…” “Ain’t no shame to it, doc,” Mal said seriously, “Sense of humor aside, they still took something from me and I intend to get it back,” There was a look in his eye that Simon recognized as the dogged stubbornness that typified the captain, “I’ve a cargo to deliver, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get the job done.” “Well…” Simon said, “Nudity and blame aside,” the doctor smiled to himself, “I’ve a direction for us to go.” “Really?” Simon stretched out his left arm and pointed out, “That way.” Considering the bearing, the captain asked, “Is that the direction that the shuttle went?” Simon nodded, “Seems like as good a start as any.” “Good enough,” Mal responded. Simon turned on a bare foot and began to walk. Shortly after the captain came alongside him, “No one’s leading,” Mal said seriously. “Why’s that?” Simon asked him. “Wherever we’re heading to it’s going to be awhile…” “And?” “I don’t think either of us want to spend it staring at each other’s backside.” “Point taken.”