TITLE: "FATED" AUTHOR: Alison M. DOBELL FANDOM: "FIREFLY" PAIRING: Mal/Simon. m/m. RATING: NC-17. STATUS: New. Standalone. ARCHIVE: Yes. Just let me know where. FEEDBACK: Welcomed. EMAIL: AlisonMDobell@aol.com WEBSITE: http://carlajane.50megs.com/Ali00.html

SUMMARY: "Simon has never had any time for Fate or Destiny until he finds himself captivated by a pair of blue eyes." The usual disclaimers apply. The characters and 'Firefly' are the property and gift of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No infringement of copyright is intended.

"FATED"

A "Firefly" story

Written by Alison M. DOBELL

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YOU.

CHOSE.

Simon watches. Reactions. Interactions. Each face. Each shifting plane seen in the reflection of the one true marvellous stunning fact impinging on his consciousness. A process of elimination because he could not believe anything so wonderful. So beautiful. So perfect. Could be his. A slow wide smile stuns barely believing lips as the face he is watching looks up. Finally sees.

HIM.

The smile widens in a graceful arc. The heat of it brings a flush of joy. A scarlet letter of want. Of need. Of simple truth revealed so plainly. No fuss. No tickertape parade. No song and dance. No bother. The sheer elegance of the revelation hits him deep.

He smiles. Watches the slow langrous stretch of lips bow back. Expansive. Utterly relaxed. Guiless. A moment of uncrafted pleasure as their eyes meet. *His* sparkle. Genuine warmth. Not fabricated as part of the lure. Then there is the fraction of a second where he pauses. Realises the casual moment is wrought with significance. A complex well of meaning sifting through those flickering depths. As if searching for something. Subtle. Such deep waters. Emotional tides and currents. The ebb and flow hypnotic. Eyes magnetic. Passion lists almost forgetting to breathe. The pull of gravity. The pulse of worlds throbbing in an ocean of stars like an unchained heartbeat. The sparkle. The glitter. The unplumbed depths. Open before him as sleep deprived pupils widen, absorbing his light, drawing him into the focus of an uncharted reality.

Simon loved watching for that moment. The balance tipping as the subject of his scrutiny became aware. The thrill of discovery. The heated glaze of innocent eyes reading the silent passion. Desire a mirage shimmering on the edge of sight and flash burning retinas with the imprint of his smile. He wished he could re-watch that moment over and over forever. Eternity viewed in frame-by-frame advance. The charisma of this man bottled and preserved in the pores of his skin only to leak out in slow warm arousal at the touch of his hand, the sun turning her jaundiced eye to beat down upon the heated haze of their momentary existence. Such a brief flame to fashion eternity upon. The universe on the head of a pin, rotating clusters of stars playing the music of the spheres while creation fawns on every silky drawn out second of breath blessed between them. His movement is arrested in that look. Captured. Committed to canvas. Folded away in the walls of the heart like a secret too precious to share. His complete attention now on him. Simon deepened his smile in welcome and watched for the reaction. Hardly daring to breathe lest it not be returned in equal measure. Anything less and his heart will surely shatter.

Slowly. Easily. Not the awkwardly gangly expression of youth and apology. The stops and starts of puberty. The reckless stumbles into ecstasy that embarrass us both until a single look explodes the myth that we would ever make that mistake again. No. Let's make new ones you and I.

Simon lets his look linger, the heat rise, the want and need surface in waves that warp the rods of light reflecting iris to iris. He means this. Wants this. Needs it. More than breath. More than life. More than the substance of dreams. This is serious. Save the heart attacks for those who are still cruising. Taking in the scenery. Flirting not tasting. Watching not savouring. Still window shopping not knowing that what I want is not for sale. But oh. For one brave enough. It is for the taking.

He moves. A long cool shadow in refracted light. A bend of colour smearing the frames of motion into a blur despite the elongated excess of slow motion. He knows what he wants. Interest logged. Choice made. Menu picked. No hesitation. Quarry chosen.

His eyes widen even further. Surprise. Lost in a heartbeat. But then so is he. Their lives a two-way mirror flicking from image to image until both are dizzy with the distance. The need to touch. To make the light reflect upon a single exotic plane.

Simon reaches him first but only because of the shock. His hand immediately touching the face turned towards him. Heart choking on emotions forming even as he struggles to speak. Words anihilate themselves before they can be born. Everything transmitted from his eyes to his fingertips, the electricity shivering along nerve endings filling the blanks of a yearning heart. The frisson of a body wired for more than sound. A current sparks between them. Burns at the contact and snaps in the air enough to produce a reaction.

Mal blinks. Head raised off folded arms. The soft amber light in the kitchen falling like a warm halo around him in soft plush folds. He looks shattered but even in his extremis the man is beautiful. Even surprised in the dead of night he is a welcoming sight. Simon draws a gentle finger down his warm face, absorbing the feel of his skin and soaking in his startled regard.

"You're up late." He whispers. Not wanting to shatter the mood he has created around the weary man. Not wanting to put into words the fact that he has been silently stalking him. Waiting for his moment. Even in love timing is everything.

"So are you." He responds. Voice soft. A gentleness to him that stirs Simon's blood.

He moves closer until he is sitting next to Mal at the table. Side by side. Nothing between them. Simon is sitting sideways on. Facing the object of his desire. Mal has a look of wonder on his face. Too surprised to be anything else. Positive he must be dreaming. This is not Simon. Simon would not plan such a blatant seduction. Move around the ship almost soundlessly on bare feet while the others sleep. A dream. That must be what this is. He is dreaming. Playing out some deeply buried desire that would otherwise never see the light of day. Until Simon touches him. Then the eyes shift, become heated, the respiration speeding up almost painfully as the skin flushes warm with interest. Simon's smile deepens as if his joy has found a place to stay. Mal has not drawn away. Not told him to leave. He is watching him intently. Simon gently trails his fingers over that face, wanting to read every line, map every pore and touch every skin cell until there is no part of him that has not been revealed to his sight. The depth and breadth of his desire makes Simon shiver with want. His hands tremble. Mal cannot help but notice. It is concern for Simon which shakes him out of his stunned reverie.

"Simon? You alright?"

His words tumble out unexpectedly taking both men by surprise. "I think I love you." Simon confesses. His voice awed, hushed and lit with wonder.

That changes things. Mal doesn't so much stiffen as straighten up slightly. But he makes no move to stop Simon continuing with his exploration and he has to wonder at that. Amazed by the young man's daring. Suprised by his own placid acquiessence. Half teased and half excited by the doctor's attentions. Wondering what Simon will do if he does nothing. Will his hand fall away with an embarrassed laugh? His own footsteps to echo and laugh at their momentary folly? Simon brings his other hand up to Mal's face. Now both hands touch him, eyes speaking to him so deeply, fingers drawn so gently over a cheek, a brow, a jawbone. His thumbs now tracing Mal's lips, still keeping eye contact as if he has bound the Captain to him with a look. The power of it is not lost on either of them. Simon leans down just enough to swipe his tongue gently across Mal's lips. Startled they part slightly and Simon can deny himself this confection no longer. He dips his head and sinks his lips into a slow sweet caress, adding suction, one hand turning to cradle Mal's cheek, the other hand sliding round the back of his neck to draw him closer. The fingers now brushing back and forth across the nape. A shiver tremors through Mal's body at the contact, then Simon slides off his chair in a controlled descent bringing Mal off his chair at the same time. Both men guided into kneeling on the cold hard floor. The deck thrumming quietly beneath them from the comforting rythym of Serenity's engine.

The kiss deepens. Mal can only breathe because Simon has such incredible breath contol. Like a musician his ability to draw a continuous looping breath is driving Mal beyond light headed. The effect deepens how much he is being turned on. The heat between them nearly combustible. Mal's lungs are exploding with the need for air but he would not give up what Simon is giving him for anything. Not that Simon will let him go. Arms snake round him and guide him back. Gently, slowly, tenderly. Simon's lips release their death grip and caress and nip his, hands now brushing Mal's aside. Not letting him take control. His silence as firm and unremitting as any spoken words of command. It is something of a shock to be so thoroughly seduced and have so little say over it but Mal finds Simon's determined side is doing all sorts of things to his self control.

Simon breaks off, mouthing Mal with open kisses so he can speak while he adores him. "Want you Mal, need you so much..." His voice aches with emotion and urgency.

Mal groans. Words beyond him. Simon's hands seeming to be everywhere. Touching, caressing, undoing buttons and sliding down his braces. Incoherent, the Captain could not speak. His head swimming with impossible images and sensations that did not mesh with the waking world, his arms full of a very solid and real Simon Tam doing things to him that he would never have dreamt he would have the nerve to do in real life.

"Si-mon..."

"Ssshhh, hush love, let me love you. I need to love you."

Mal sighed. Not strong enough to resist him. His own desire swamping him. Simon's tongue lapping his ear, his hands opening out his shirt so he could run his fingers across his chest, warm hands brushing back and forth over his nipples while he eased a leg between Mal's, using gentle pressure from his knee to rub up against his crotch and provide a rocking friction for his burgeoning erection. Mal groaned louder, feeling himself hardening and getting more and more excited, eyes going blurry with lust. "What are you tryin' to do to me?"

He was rewarded with a slow wet sloppy kiss. "If you need a diagram Captain then you're not half as bright as I thought you were."

"Hey, wh..."

Simon never let him finish. Hungry lips fastened on his, his tongue stroking and battling with Mal's as he sucked the air out of his lungs and pumped his tongue in and out of his mouth, the pressure of his knee matching the pace and driving Mal crazy. Simon undid his pants while he ground down on him, easing back on his knee as the sudden release made the Captain gasp. Simon broke off the kiss so that Mal could breathe, the flushed face looking at him with such dark desire that he laughed gently unable to keep his hands off him.

"Please Simon, I'm dyin' here..." Mal groaned.

Another kiss, then more urgent ones as Simon dropped a hand down to stroke him, teasing the head so that the slick come leaked enough to lubricate his hand. He cautioned Mal not to move just yet, his left knee rising to rest on Mal's hip. He was almost choking out the pleas now. Simon dragged it out, teasing him with mouth, tongue and teeth mercilessly but beautifully. Watching the sweat bathe his face and neck, the ambient light making him glow and glitter where the folds of light caught his shining skin where he lay panting on the floor. Simon felt so horny but tender too. Such love in his heart for this man. A slow blossoming thing that had crept up on him in stages. Until suddenly. Late one night as the rest of the 'verse lay sleeping the truth had blinded him as revelations often did. An accidental happenstance. His own sleepless wanderings finding the Captain alone in the kitchen, plagued by demons of his own in the quiet of the night. And in that moment. That very fraction of a second when he had looked in the room and seen the weary head lift up and their eyes had met something had sparked. A connection. An understanding so deep and fundamental and true that he had not even questioned its' veracity. Right and wrong condensed into something so pure and quintisessential that he knew he was looking at not only the man he was destined to love. But his soul mate.

He. Simon Tam. A man who had never believed in fate. Had no time for destiny. Believed only in the transient nature of life and any relationships you made in that lifetime. Not that he ever thought of River as transient. She was a part of him. Everything else was no more than the flotsam and jetsom of life. Until Mal. Mal was the half of him he had been missing all his life. The one part that could make him whole. Heal him heart and soul as he was meant to heal Mal. He knew the darkness the Captain carried inside him. The scars left by the war. The emptiness of all those he had lost. Things he had seen and endured that no child should ever have done. Yet he had been but one child among thousands. Simon had seen it in his eyes. Only now did he understand. His harsh angles a protection against a 'verse that had thrown so much pain and heartache at him that it was a miracle he was still standing let alone able to function. Yet Mal had survived and so had Simon.

Mal was close now. Simon could feel it. Slowed down to milk his orgasm for all he was worth, bringing him to the edge time and time again until tears bedimmed the Captain's eyes where he struggled to hang on. Simon kissed him gently, lovingly, his hands bringing him to completion so that he could sheath him in the warm cavern of his mouth and suck his juices down. Not waste a drop of the precious fluid, the white tears sliding down his throat as they thickened then gushed in a long white pulse as he came. Simon sucked him and worked him gently between tongue and teeth drawing every last drop out of him until he was bucking dry then softened in his mouth. So sensitised that as Simon licked him gently clean Mal trembled at the touch. Simon's hands a constant glide over cooling skin. His body sliding over his to warm and protect him. Mal so tired but deeply content, his arms wrapping around Simon as silent tears rolled down his face in a release that had been years in the coming. Simon rocked him as if he knew. Maybe he did. The boy was smarter than he looked. Top three per cent.

Once he was quiet and calm Simon eased back and looked at him. Love and concern gazing down on him. "How do you feel?"

Mal reached up to cup Simon's face, his thumb gently brushing back and forth over Simon's lips. "As if I'm dreamin'."

"Want to dream in your own bed?"

The Captain raised a questioning brow. "Alone?"

Simon slowly shook his head, papered Mal with tender kisses, his eyes so gentle when he looked down at him that Mal thought his very heart would burst. "No." Said Simon softly. "You'll never be alone again unless you want it, Mal."

Mal could feel the emotion choking him and sat up swifty to wrap his arms tightly around Simon, head buried in the crook of his neck. Too much emotion for words. For several minutes they cradled each other next to their hearts then Mal raised his head and rubbed his cheeks against the silky fabric of Simon's shirt to wipe his tears. He smiled. "Come on, Simon. Let's trade in this floor for something with a little more give in it."

The look on Simon's face made Mal chuckle at they helped each other up.

"You have a mucky mind, Simon Tam."

"Now tell me you only love me for my body."

He shook his head, captured Simon's lips in a deep passionate kiss then broke off with a yawn. "Come on. Bed. Now."

Simon began to smirk then froze. For a moment trapped in the blue of Mal's eyes. Seeing so many things he had never noticed before. So many levels of awareness opening up inside him. His heart fluttering at the love shining back at him. Feelings held deep, kept shuttered, hidden away, now rose like bubbles chasing the light. Simon kissed him and drew back gently, watching the humour skate across Mal's eyes at his suddenly serious look. "I meant what I said, Mal."

"About what?"

"I love you."

"Lust isn't love, Simon."

Simon gave a sigh of mock relief. "Glad we got that cleared up."

Mal looked at him then smiled. Simon lost it then. He was unaware of Mal leading him back to his bunk, of them undressing and climbing into the narrow bed. Content to lay wrapped around each other. Mal talking softly to Simon as he stroked his back. Little kisses dropping on to Simon's head, face and lips while Mal told him quietly and with infinite patience why there was no such thing as love at first sight. Simon smiled against his neck. He did not believe in destiny but looking into his lover's eyes he found himself believing that if anything in life was preordained then he and Mal were fated to fall in love. Simple as that. It did not matter whether or not Mal believed. Simon knew better and he would be there to catch him when he fell.

"It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart Without saying a word you can light up the dark. Try as I may I could never explain What I hear when you don't say a thing.

The smile on your face let's me know that you need me There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall You say it best when you say nothing at all..."

'When You Say Nothing At All' - sung by Alison Krauss & Union Station

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