Twas the night before Christmas and thru S'renity

Not a crew member was stirring, not even Kaylee

The stockings were hung by the engine with care

As the crew knew that Mal would not find them there

For he lost his religion on that fatefull night

And symbols of Christmas would give him a fright

The crew in their quarters and Jayne in his hat

Had just settled their brains for a long winter's nap

While out on the hull there arose such a clatter

Mal sprang from his bed to see what was the matter

Away to the cockpit he flew like a flash

Started checking the readouts all over the dash

Soon he was met by Inara and Book

Who had heard something strange, and come out for a look

Nothing on scanner, not a sign could they make

Not even a weird heat bounce, came off of their wake

Lumbering up the stairs, barely awake arrived Jayne

Woken from sleep looking for someone to blame

River and Simon, then Kaylee came fast

Wash and then Zoe arriving there last

Wash took up his place at the helm of the ship

Those three little switched he reached up to flip

In moments a reading, a blip on the hull

"No!" Wash exclaimed, "That's impossible!"

Again those three switches he chose to flip

This time activating the cameras outside of the ship

Looking at the monitors, what should appear

But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer!

With a little old driver so lively and quick

They knew in a moment it must be St. Nick

If that wasn't enough to create a magical place

It appeared the old man breathed unaided in space!

As Mal drew in his head and turned round in shock

There came sounds from the outside, a banging, a knock!

They rushed to the airlock and opened the door

And St. Nick stepped in onto Serenity's floor

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

St. Nick smiled at Kaylee and opened his sack

Kaylee was excited and she beamed right back

He held out a present and she took it with glee

"A new compression coil, with three years guarantee!"

Next he moved on to Jayne, he brought the sack nearer

"Santa this is too much, it's a new sight for Vera!"

Simon and River he approached next

River looked on, surprisingly vexed

"They took it away, but now it's come back"

She cheered up straight away, "what's for us in that sack?"

He handed to River a bright candy cane

"Eat this," he said, "It'll give back your brain"

Simon turned to face Santa, he'd be happy forever

"You gave me back my sister, it's the best Christmas ever!"

To Book a new bible to Inara a dress

My lack of better rhymes put them both in distress

He walked up to Zoe and his hand did unfurl

Placed it on her belly, said "you're having a girl!"

And then to Mal he crossed over the floor

"She loves you too" and with that said no more

Except to the fans when he said "I'll revive,

Your show as a movie, in 2005"

With that he laid a finger aside of his nose

And giving a nod up, through the airlock he rose

Away to the cockpit, all the crew whipped

And for a third time those three switches were flipped

They saw Santa spring to his sleigh with a whistle

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle

But they heard him exclaim, 'ere he flew out of sight

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"